A NIGHTINGALE !

He saw her for the very first time while he was glancing round the area. She was dressed in red coat with a black skirt. She looked quite dirty one, but her looks made him stare her like fools. He never come across such beautiful, magnificent and wonderful eyes. Pain , affection, affection they have so much floating in them. She was without any make-over and honestly speaking she didn't needed one.. He felt bad for her who was now playing with mud. He went near by and said;

' Hey ' He wanted to listen her voice but she didn't respond

He few more times tried talking to her but she avoided and instead of answering she left the area. Next evening he again came there and found her in very same dress again with mud. He tried talking but she refused like the first day, next two days he tried the same and got the very same results. After 3 days or so having flickers in his eyes he went close by, luckily this time she didn't ran away in lieu she continue what she was doing. He sat there without saying ' hello ' this time. Few minutes of silence she stood up and started walking and he followed her

' Hey ' He said with a desperation in his voice
' Hey ' he was amused as her voice was beautiful like she was but she continued her walk so he ran after her.
' Wait ' Racing towards her he stood right in front of her so that his body can make her stop
' What? ' She said giving him a hard look
' Err... just wanted to know your name ' He said avoiding her rudeness
' Tara.. ' And with that she continued walking
' I am Sameer ' He said from behind
' Good for you ' She said before turning down the tunnel and left him startle.

Later that evening he went to Boston for two weeks but there too, those two eyes followed him. He was a party boy but even in dances he couldn't take his eyes off the image of those eyes present in his mind. Following week he went to a formal date with Seliona Albert but instead of praising her beauty he kept on thinking about those features of an unknown girl which was instantly noticed by Seliona and this ruined his perfect date. On the day of his return again he was in trouble because of those two eyes and he messed up with a girl which resulted as a slap placed on his left cheek. Finally he came back next evening with flowers in his hand, words in jumbled order in his head he went to the lake side hoping to see her. He was dressed in a formal suit and hoped same for the girl as it would be biggest day for the girl, he was going to propose the girl as in his view he was deeply in love. As reach there his eyes search her thirstily but he failed as there was no sign of her. Finally at 6:00 he decided to leave while passing the oak tree he saw someone, an average looking old man with a brown hat in peculiar behavior as if he was searching someone.He looked around and finally his eyes caught her, hiding herself in an oak tree, with its leaves sitting on a branch, he quickly looked at the other side as he didn't wanted old man to notice her as he guessed the girl was hiding from the old man. He walked around keeping himself near by the tree and finally as the darkness arises old man walked away. Moments later girl jump down to the boys abatement she came toward him with a quickness.. Eyes that made him restless were filled with water. She came closer and hurriedly she put his hand on his coat plundering them and whispered;

' Give me a penny please! please give me a penny, he will kill me I need to give him the money give me the penny ' She said frenzily and without a word he handed all money he had from his wallet to her palm.

She dazed him for few seconds and then ran away, he sat down on his knees facing the sky. Tears roll down her eyes and flowers fallen down his hand . He cried silently without making noise but then only he heard something something scary which made noise, loud noise, a roar by the clouds and it rained. He felt like clouds were his partner in crime. He looked again the sky hoping that sky had noticed what just happened how he lost his nightingale. How he will be able to forget those eyes, eyes which had so much in them. Which filled by so much purity, hope, sadness, happiness, will he ever be able to forget them? He will never be able to come here again to see his chirping nightingale ... never again..


-illusiOn~

An end to an eternal wait.....

"Shiva ,are your eyes open?are you watching me ,when will you freed me from all the distress and all my problems?,"Jaganath Singh cried.

His daughter Chanda was getting married in 2 days time.Today his daughter presented him the biggest shock of his life.
"How could you do it?,"the entire family was in a state of dismay.
Chandi was pregnant.She was getting married 2 days hence.
"Tell me who is responsible for this,"Jaganath asked patiently.
"Papa,I know he won't betray me,"she sobbed.
She remembered the promise that Sandeep Bhaskaracharya made to her before leaving for Raunbaugh.
"My love Chanda,You are mine forever ,wait for me,I will be back and talk to your dad about our relationship," her eyes shed tears as these lines buzzed her ears.
"How will I face Samindhi Teghbahadur Thakur and his son Vikramjeet Thakur," Jaganath said.
"Papa,mere Sandeep mujhe milne Zarur aayege,"she said.
At the same time Prasar Bharti ,comes up with a flash news.

"27 Naxalites shot dead in the Raunbaugh encounter . 5 Armymen were shot dead.Major Sandeep Bhaskaracharya (26),Major Raghuvir Yadav(43),Teghpal Mishra(39),Lakeer Sheikh(29) and Major Maninder Purneet Singh(37) were shot dead.,"the news reporter paused.

With this Jaganath witness tears flowing from his daughters eyes.Her love was no more alive.He sacrificed his life for the nation.
"Papa,I won't marry anyone,I have the biggest asset with me,"she said.
"I have Sandeeps child with me,I will make him an army officer and make my Sandeep proud,"she sobbed.
"I'm proud of you ,Chanda,"Jaganath said as he wiped the tears from his daughters eyes.
Chanda could not accept the shock.She lost her life.Sandeep died fighting the extremists.
"Sandeep died,my Sandeep died,"she wept.

My Sister

She was so sweet. Everyone loved her, including strangers who had only seen her once. They all said her smile was to die for, such a pleasing, uplifting smile. Whenever someone came to the house she would reach out her arms and smile. That was her way of saying "I like you. Pick me up please!"


Everyone picked her up. Some even reached into their pockets and handed her some money. "Buy some sweets for yourself, cutie-pie, ok?" they said. She would smile and run straight out of the doors to the nearby market. She bought sweets and then ran all the way back home. She shared the sweets with me and Mother, and also the person who had given her the money to buy sweets.


Of course, she wasn't all perfect. She squealed when it was bath-time and me and mother tried to wash her. But then the minute we said if she behaved like a good girl in the bath she would get some chocolate, she started behaving perfectly! Ah, she was so lovely. We only shouted at her once, and that was when she ate the wedding cake for Auntie Rita. She did say "Swory sister. swory Mother,"

Yes, she still couldn't say "sorry". She was only three at the time. The memories.



Reshma was sat on the cold bench, facing the sea front. She was thinking, thinking deep thoughts. She was remembering her sister, the funny things she did, how perfect she was. I miss her so much, she thought to herself. She brushed aside a tear from her cheek. "Anjali. My sister," she said softly. "My beautiful princess,"

Suddenly Reshma stood up, breathing deeply. "Why? Why did she leave me? What did I do?" Reshma shouted. She kicked a pebble into the sea and watched it go. Plop. Plop. Just how my sister went, she whispered to herself. Slowly, but steadily.



Reshma felt a firm grasp on her shoulder and turned around. Her Mother was standing there, her face in a worried frown. "What are you doing here, my darling?" asked Mother gently. "Hmm. Just thinking. Remembering," Reshma said, staring into space. Mother saw her wet cheeks and sat down beside her. "Reshma. I'm sure Anjali is happy. Wherever she is, she's in a better place. Calm down, my baby," Mother said, tucking Reshma's loose hair behind her ears. She wiped Reshma's eyes with a hankie, then wiped her own eyes. "Why did she leave-

Reshma began, but Mother interupted. "She was in pain, honey. In pain. It was better she went early than suffering in pain, isn't it?" Mother said. Reshma stood up and walked up to the ledge. She reached in her pocket. She pulled out a tiny photo of Anjali. She found a few sticks from near the trees and attached them together with strands of grass. She laid the picture of Anjali on the mini raft she had made, and reached down to the water. She felt water trickle up her sleeves and placed the raft with Anjali's photo in the water.

Reshma smiled, a tiny smile. "Goodbye, Anjali,"

I Love you

"love you",
i hear you say
almost everyday.

each time
i smile,
before i reply.

"love you too"
i whisper
but not to you.

You know it all
even if i deny
its not false.

so hard i tried
to never accept it,
to myself i lied.

never wanted to lose
your love and care
that cured my blues.

was so very happy
with whatever i got
never asked for anything.

but i now ask
in your true love,
will i get to bask.

Ah! enough of dreams
let me put to rest,
false hopes of you n me.

I will be gone soon
far away from you
and wnt give past a look.

you do deserve more
some one you would love
and cherish a lot.

One last farewell i do
a last time, i say
"I love you"

Image Source

We Excavated Love Together

Do you live?
Do you live still?
I do not know
I would never know.

You came into my life like a tempest fierce
Ruffled my verve and you went away
And never have you returned to see my tears
Not even to check, if I breathe still!

I miss you
I miss you always.
Do you live to miss me?
I would never know.

I think of the time, when you were here
In my arms, feeling the warmth of my body
My burly arms secured your restless head
Your tender breasts rested on my chest
Your hair flew over my face and glittered
You slept well all night – I in you and you in me!

Do you recall?
Do you recall the eon
Where we ruled the nights?
I would never know.

Those nights were glossy, shining still
Bright in my heart, somewhere there vigil
The skin rubbed the skin back and forth
The search went deep inside the mysterious
All that toil and that sweat was not in vain
For we excavated love together, deep inside
The smile on your face, the pleasure on mine
Would haunt me every night for as long as I live!

Do you live?
Do you live to miss me?
Do you recall the eon?
I would never know.

Picture Source

Mann chandre...a sad song so so unique!

this is not exactly a post! Its something that I felt like sharing with friends here... related to music!
Before I post for thursday theft... I want to share this creation that I had come across from the genius multiple oscar winner AR rahman ... this is composed by him for the OST of Nokia music express...the cell phone that I purchased last month!

Its one of the best punjabi meaningful that I had ever heard... sukhwinder singh at its best vocal quality and rahman's style as always unique and leaving a mark! the name of song is called "mann chandre... as mentioned earlier too...its from album connections.. by rahman for nokia..."
I am sharing this here as I believe that chances are few that people would come across it other wise...
do give it a try if u love meaningful deep sad songs... that needs patient hearing :)
tc bye! god bless everyone!

Mann chandre nu raas naa aave,
Mann chandre nu raas naa aave,
Naa aave darwaas.
Jiggar daa saudaa kyon kar baithaa?
Mukdi jaandi aas.

Je lut jaandaa te lut jaandaa dil,
Hauke khaa ke chup jaandaa.
Je lut jaandaa te lut jaandaa dil,
Hauke khaa ke chup jaandaa.

Beparvaa daa ki kehna? Haaye!
Naa aave darwaas,
Jiggar daa saudaa kyon kar baithaa?
Mukdi jaandi aas!

Darad sautondaa, Bedardaan nu,
Bedardaa daa ki jaandaa?
Darad sataundaa, Bedardan nu,
Bedardaa daa ki jaandaa?
Bedardaa daa ki jaandaa?

When Will I Have My Soul Back....!

Ages seemed since the time bygone,

Ages seemed since the Tears froze,

Ages seemed since you were gone,

Ages seemed since we ceased to be US!

But my phone seemed the same again,

Your number flashed to evoke the old me again,

The name was the same, the you were the same,

But I wasn’t the same nor were you the same,

The number which always cheered me,

It froze me and it stoned me,

The voice which cheered me ,

was seemed to be mocking me,

I was lost still thinking “Why did you do this”,

without able to ask!

The memories galore across me ,

and they were still teasing me,

A year was gone since u left me,

and it’s been five years since I had known you,

But then you still haven’t left me ,

though I have ceased to exist for you for long,

When I gave you that heart I wanted it to be there forever,

My heart is still there but then you gave the place of my heart to someone,

You snatched the soul and ripped it so that no one else could ever take it,

And I see you giving your heart to someone else without a finch!

The first time I had laid my eyes on you,

You had called them deceiving and bewitching,

I kicked you for the joke which I see it as a reality today,

You made me laugh, you made smile,

You made me strong, you made me a new me,

You instilled in me all that lacked in me,

Today I feel like asking why you made me what I am,

And then I realized you did take the fees for your teachings,

The fees were just too big a price for me and a joke for you,

The fee was my heart, my soul and the inability to ever forget you!

You always bewitched me with the half told lies,

I saw it as your helplessness in love,

Today I know it was your trick to keep me with you,

It was a trick to make me go when you wanted me to go,

I believed in your love as the biggest truth,

My life revolved around you,

I forgot life was anything but you,

And then the time came when u flashed those teeth to say goodbye,

And I still saw it as your helplessness and not as the deceit,

But my life still exists and it does even without you!

I would have believed in your truths and my sacrifice all along,

Had I not been God’s favourite child,

And I realized the truth and the lies,

It hurt me beyond measures,

It hurts me still to see those years as a lie,

I still wonder what you gained,

I still wonder what u gain through the “fake friendship”,

But I still have no answers and no questions,

Just the fact that the devil’s bewitching eyes broke me!

I wanted to move ahead after the deceit,

I m trying and will till my last breath,

But the devil has made a permanent location inside,

I still spread love and I still spread smiles,

But they are unreal and unlike the real me,

I still wanted to give my love and soul to the one, the one who deserves it,

But I fail terribly every time and today I sobbed one last time,

Seeking to know…. “When will I have my soul back?”!

P.S. i have no idea why i wrote this. i wanted to write something on a Teary Wednesday and this is all i could come with. i don't know if its a prose or poem....but i couldn't re read it to make it perfect.

I wish it was fiction....would have been easier to compose it!

The football maestro

Rohit sat on his large teakwood desk. His handsome face shone in the morning light coming from a window. His office was as beautiful as he was. Arranged with utmost care and an elegant taste. Reema, his childhood friend and sweetheart had called him today.They were going to meet . It was over 5 years now and Reema was excited. She was however unsure as to why Rohit asked her to come to his office, not outside in the beautiful city of Kolkata. But Reema loved Rohit, her only crush, what difference did it make. The world was going to be perfect again for both of them.

"HIIIIEEEE!!" Reema bellowed as she entered the great office.

"wow making some good money eh?" she smiled.

Rohit smiled back with some restraint.

"You have become quiet, so where are you taking me tonight?"-Reema asked.

"Let's talk no dear, I have a lot to tell you"- he said.

"This is a office , c'mon so unromantic for a guy like you"-she asked.

"This is my world now"-he said bluntly.

"Don't tell me the football maestro has become all boring now sitting and doing paperwork for a corrupt government"- she speculated.

"Those were good times Reema"- he looked sad.

She sensed this and went towards his desk.

"Wow! Nice music system dude!! You have fun here only"-she was excited"Let's dance no , like old days"

"Not now please"-Rohit.

"I heard sex was a no no before marriage for some people but what's wrong with dancing"- she asked amused." Don't you love me anymore?"

"WHy are you crying!!?"-Reema

"I am not , its just something in my eye.Please sit down and let's talk"- he said firmly.

"I know you from childhood. Somethings wrong , mY rohit is sad. I'll give you your favourite jhappi"- Reema said and moved towards him.

Is it not irony that a man can so much want something to happen and then so much not want that thing to happen.

He let out an inaudible no but Reema was standing beside him.

She shrieked in horror.

ROhit had lost both his legs. Tears rolled down her face. " I was trying to tell you about my accident"-he mumbled-" But I can still tickle you like crazy hmmm :)"

She sobbed silently into his broad chest.

Tear ..

Lost in the dark world

I wait for you to come

To rescue me, and walk me home

But, you never came

My smile turned into a tear

Faith faded into air

Anguish of soul burning me inside

Dark shadows, by my side

A Cold and Lonesome night

My loneliness, i alone fight

Even in my dreams, you said goodbye

I wake up with tears in my eyes

Cause for my tear is you

I would have given some to you

If i could Turn it into a Pearl

To remind you, i was once your girl .

Liberate me

Following the theme of the day : Teary Wednesdays, here is a post from my end. I am fine and fit. Happy and singing. Just enjoy the post without any conclusions about me.

I have never been so fragile in my recent living memory. So much so that even a whisker of odd thing makes me go stutter in fear of something happening bad or even make me get some fantastic fears which hold no meaning. My inner self is laden with metronomic insecurities that intervene in almost every thinking process I do or every small act that I do in daily live.

I have been a gladiator in true sense and never being one to back off when dragged down to a battle field, but somehow this time it feels that my fighting powers are on wane. It seems that I have given up to the fucking rants of an increasingly fragile mind and the ridiculous set of people around me in the workplace and daily lives away from my near dear ones (Read Parents and siblings).

I need to get myself free from this. I ought to fight this out and overcome the current mess thanks to my wonderful Teddy bear who walked out of my life leaving a huge void, almost irreplaceable, to the best of my ability.

I lost in the love field. I lost to my own panache to carve out a wonderful world for me and her where nothing else would matter, but love for each other and all that crap things to pamper and shag ourselves, those crazy things to do to keep the painful passion alive. In the yearning of a perfect world around me, I was left with a rubble and ashes of my love gone wrong. I lost to my own craziness to keep in touch with her, thus invading her “private space” which I felt had overlapped with me and then there would be nothing called as individual space in our relationship once I and she were interwined with each other.

I was left with infinite wounds to heal upon which were inflicted to my soul. My existence was questioned with all the rubbish stuff as it could get. That’s killing stuff. The existence of a person is questioned ? Why ? who gave you that right to question me ? If I am good enough to be here on this planet or not ? Who has given you that feeling to judge me ? When you could not even walk a mile with me when things got tough with me, when the real test of the relationship began, you walked away and came back to me with all set of rubbish questions? You belied all your commitments which you made during walking down the lanes with me on those dusky evenings. You turned turtle to all your false promises of being there for me forever. And you fizzed out when I had some tough times. When I needed you the most to hug you tight to let me feel safe and cared of, you walked off.

I yearned for you. I couldn’t have shed tears because I didn’t want to sound weak and fragile to my folks, but I craved for you. I wrote those long mails urging you to come back, long phone calls to convince you about my worthiness in the relationship we had. Wasn’t it wonderful ? You didn’t think so, so you walked off without even looking back. You knew that I would always be with you no matter the world would walk away from you or even your so called potragonists or your so called faithful mates. You knew you d always find me like a tall protected cover for you in every damn problems and damn situations no matter where, no matter how or when.

I am not blaming you or wont ever do that. For me my love was divine and pure. No selfish interests in that. I never doubted you, I always wanted that we should always love each other to the best of capability alongside talking continously to ease out the frictions and differences. But that never happened. My yearn for love went against me and here I am : broken heart, broken pledges and hurt selves, bruised egos and hearts full of tears and infinite pains. Intoxicated souls and a mind full of insecurities and doubts over the big question : will I ever be able to love any one else even with 1% of the ability as I did to you ? Would that magic be recreated ?

Tough to say, but I have loved you with the soul, not by heart or eyes or intellect or physically as it is this days. And when soul gets bruised and hurt then nothing remains the same and its almost impossible to recreate the magic with any one else. I stand here alone and lonely, though I know this wait for you to come back to me is as futile as expecting a snowfall in Mumbai.

So my dear love, liberate me from your memories which are too good to leave me for good and are so delicate that I don’t wish to hurt them by saying nasty things about you. I am not that. I am not heartless. I have a heart and a bruised one at that.

Liberate me from your nerve wrecking sentiments and the infinite pamperings I did to you. Free my soul. Free me, let me become as care free and as free flowing individualistic as I was before meeting you.

Free me…………

MISS YOU...!!!

Breaking through the darkness of light
I am still awake in the dark mysterious night
In every little corner of my heart
My tears no longer stop

When I saw you the last time
I still remember the agony and cried
I am no good to the world then
I yelled mad around, I saw you, when

I collapsed in grief and pain
for being alone, once again
I begged you not leave me
but it was late, you left me

Dear friend, after seven long years
Thought of you, brings me tears
I know you are watching
I wipe them off, for you smiling

On this Teary Wednesday, I dedicate this post to one of my very best friend,Satish, who left us seven years ago. I still remember the way we played since our childhood and the way we were toegther for ten long years. we were a group of four friends since our kindergarten but now we are just three of us...!!!

May his soul rest peace..!!!

"Sigh Of a Mother's Heart"

Floating through this stillness so deafening,

I feel an irrepressible twinge,

The night walks through me burly,

Not for a moment I could blink.

 

Reminiscences of the moments passed,

Make my eyes sad and teary,

Holding my hand you grew so much,

But now everything seems scary.

 

 

The time when I held you first,

I felt blessed with an angel so bright,

A thirst in me got quenched,

And everything else went out of sight.

 

 

You didn’t had words to explicate,

Still your meanings were implicit,

You couldn’t walk unaccompanied,

And my support was requisite.

 

 

We weaved dreams together,

Every step of you was planned,

If you had to seek me around,

Just beside you, I would always stand.

 

I gave you wings,

You flew in the sky,

But now its time,

That you come by.

 

 

My hopes have vanished,

My vision is now blurred,

I am lost and lonely,

I need to be heard.

 

 

I know you have a lot to do,

You have your own world to look after,

Still I ask for you now,

As its only you I can seek hereafter.

 

 P.S.-- I have already posted this at my blog so if the Amin consider it to be a Re-post, they can delete it. I posted it here as it went well with the mood of the day.

LOVE is all you need...all you need is LOVE

They were the best couple there was to be,
from best friends to lovers they transformed in glee...
hand in hand they used to walk,
eyes on each other around the clock.

the late night calls, the million texts...
in the starry nights and the dreamy days.
for 7 months.... all they knew was bliss...
Not even the Gods could stop what they pleased.

Then came august and with it the pain
Coz she left him one day and hopped onto a plane.
Devastated, forlorn.... he cried out for her
Poor guy's heart broke down forever

She left him there and it wasn't her fault
And with her gone...his life was lost
Love you forever....was what they said
but the vow to be together got erased

24th august.... the night she left
Etched in time will be the date always
He thought of her until it hurt
Soul in fury and heart torn apart

For days he remained all alone...
waited for her call....his hands on the phone
She missed him too...he could feel
He craved to hear her voice....her innocent giggle

He knew where she was but there was nothing to do
the pain of uncertainty in love is ever so true
Memories and tears....into words they turned alive
He took out his pen and slowly started to write.........

P.S| this is not a work of fiction...:P
It's a part of my past....a very terrifying and painful past. But don't just start thinking this was the end mates. Freelancer doesn't believe in giving up...Specially not the one who stole his heart....Love yu all

No tomorrow...

She held tightly onto him. He held on to her too..Feeling her touch on his skin did wonders. She was in a mood to dance. They jumped and skipped and hopped and locked. She danced gracefully and he showed her the way. The night was on and it seemed to be the beginning of a day for them..He held her and twirled around here and there. They danced under the moonlight like there was no tomorrow.But the dance ended sooner than they thought as time had come for him to go...

"This night has been amazing sweet heart..." he said kissing her cheeks.

"Oh it has..." she said blushing

"Now its too late...Im leaving" he said sadly

"I await tomorrow" she forced a smile though she was unhappy inside. It was her birthday tomorrow and he had planned a surprise for her.

"Bye" he bid and off he was...

Dhoom dhoom dhadam...dush....she heard the noise of the guns and bombs. She was afraid. She sat in a corner and cried..Then she switched on the TV as she was clueless about the happenings.

"There has been a mumbai terror attack" the reporter said "Because of the attack the people who were passing Taj have been injured or have been killed. Some names were found through license and id cards." she reported in Hindi. Then some names flashed on the screen with the pictures. She saw it..his picture.

KILLED

---
--
-

She was speechless. Her jaws dropped open and she wept her heart out. She cried as she knew the truth. Everything went blank, it was like nothing existed. She knew that he was gone. She knew it was because of terror. She knew....that there was no tomorrow....

Shades of Sadness - 1 ( Broken and shattered )

I walk alone
In a wait
for you to return....

My friends wonder why
I cannot see...
That The gate I longed to open
Is now closed forever....

"phir shaam mein tanhaai jaagi...
phir yaad tum aa rahe ho...
phir jaan machalne lagi hain!
kyun mujhko tadpa rahe ho....
kyun mujhko tadpa rahe ho....

The darkness have swallowed
the moonlight
My sun is set without you...
It would never rise!

"is din mein yaadon k mele hain...
tum bin bahut hum akele hain....
Aa jao... laut kar tum... ye dil keh raha hai...

***

I talk to you by my dreams
trying to figure out where was I wrong...
While they bury you deep...
Inside the calm of this land...
My happiness dies with you...
captured in closed wrist of your hand!
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"Tum Bin jiya jaaye kaise....
kaise jiye jaaye tum bin...
sadiyon se lambi hain raatein
sadiyon se lambe huye din..."

-
I also blog @ POETIC CRIES

(ps - I dont know why I wrote this... )

सोचो जरा

ना गरीबी में हो रही हैं कमी ,
न हो रहा है विकास देश का ,
बढ़ रही है भ्रष्टाचार की गंगा ,
और गन्दी हो रही हैं असली गंगा ।

अब अभी हो रही हैं मांग दहेज़ की ,
नाबलिको के हाथ में अब भी डाली जा रही है ,
बेडिया शादी की ।
आज भी लड़कियो का पैदा होना
माना जाता हैं अपशकुन ,
और आज भी जलाई जा रही हैं कई दुल्हन ।

आज भी नेता वादों से मुकर जाते हैं ,
दल को कपडो की तरह
बदलते हुए पाये जाते हैं ।

अब भी बन रही हैं गठबंधन की सरकार ,
नही है विश्वास जनता को ,
किस पर पूरा मेरे यार ।

आज भी नोट के बदले मिलते हैं वोट ,
आज भी धर्म के नाम पर होते हैं दंगे ,
आतंकवादियो की बढ़ रही हैं आबादी ,
और कर रहे हैं वो देश की बर्बादी ।

इतना सब होने पर भी सरकार सोती हैं ,
हम हर बार कहते हैं के ये सरकार है बेकार ,
परन्तु हम फ़िर भी चुनते आ रहे हैं ,
उन्हें ही हर बार मेरे यार ।

इस तरह से देश को देखकर ,
दिल बहुत रोता हैं मेरा ,
कैसे दूर होगी ये मुश्किलें
और कैसे बनेगा
ये सरताज दुनिया का ।

(now for the members who don't know hindi well)



naa gareebi main ho rahi hain kami ,
na ho raha hai vikas desh ka ,
badh rahi hai bhrashtachar ki ganga ,
aur gandi ho rahi hain asali ganga .

ab abhi ho rahi hain maang dahej ki ,
nabaliko ke hath maen ab bhi dali ja rhai hai ,
bedia shaadi ki .
aaj bhi ladkio ka paida hona
mana jata hain apshakun ,
aur aaj bhi jalai ja rhai hain kai dulhan .

aaj bhi neta vaado se mukar jaate hain ,
dal ko kapado ki tarah
badalte huye paaye jate hain .

ab bhi ban rahi hain gathbandhan ki sarkar ,
nahi hai vishvas janta ko ,
kis par pura mere yaar .

aaj bhi note ke badale milate hain vote ,
aaj bhi dharm ke naam par hote hain dange ,
aatankvadio ki badh rahi hain aabadi ,
aur kar rahe hain vo desh ki barbadi .

itna sab hone par bhi sarkar soti hain ,
hum har bar kahte hain ke ye sarkar hai bekar ,
parantu hum fir bhi chunate aa rahe hain ,
unahe hi har bar mere yaar .

is tarah se desh ko dekhkar ,
dil bahut rota hain mera ,
kaise dur hogi ye mushkile
aur kaise banega
ye sartaaj dunia ka .


P.S(may be after reading this poem you will not get tears in your eyes,
but just think about every line in this poem
iam sure your heart will surely cry
and if admin thought that this poem is not according to theme
tell me i will remove it)
(iam not able to find any picture for this poem if you have anyone according to this gave me)

She lives...I die

The despairing truth about being lonely is that it makes you recount the worst portions of your life. Away from the discordant noises of life on a whole, one gets sucked into recalling and reliving those moments...I am feeling very lonely now, so you can very well guess what I am reliving...

She was an angel...an innocent and pure soul untouched by the darkness and malaise of life, the very epitome of goodness, the monument of love itself. I did not help fall in love with her but surprisingly (and wrongly) she could not help but fall in love with me. What she saw in me, I will never know.....What she gave me I can never express. She changed life...happiness no more felt an alien being, love was no longer some abstract shit. The days were resplendent with the existence of her feelings...the nights with the soothness of her being. An angel who nurtured my soul and laid waste her dreams to wish me bliss.....yes, she had dreams in her eyes, dreams which she cared for, dreams which she lived for...Dreams which I shattered.

Did I tell you she was an angel...I suppose I did.
What I didn't tell you is that I was the Devil Incarnate himself.

She gave up her dreams to bring life to mine...I used my life to mutilate her dreams. The warmness of her eyes I mistook for the gleam of ambition...the blush of her cheeks I assumed were the red of fakeness...the love I thought to be the mirage of her cold heart.
And so I hurt her...I humiliated her being and broke her confidence...insulted her love, termed her feelings a charade. I battered her trust in goodness and sucked out the emotions from her soul. I killed her dreams and left her crippled.

I was wrong...I was mistaken...I was a fool...I was so much more...Every shred of the fabric of happiness that we could have had was in tatters...there was nothing left to pick up...the pieces were not broken...they were rendered to dust...they slipped out of my hands...it was too late to mend "US"...there remained no such thing.....but a guilty soul needs some repentance...I needed penance...which could only be had by weaving back those dreams for her...every step that she would take towards her dreams would be one moment of penance for me...and there was only one way.

I went back to her life...not to ask for forgiveness for it was beyond me to ask, not to love her back for I had left nothing in her, not to hold her hand and lead her to her dreams for she would shun my very breath...but I went back to hurt her more, to mock her dreams further, to kill her strength better.

I placed as many obstacles in her path as I could, not because I wanted her to stumble and fall into the abyss of failure but because I knew that she would be spurred on further to cross those obstacles...I hated her because my hate made her stronger...I belittled her because it gave her confidence...I doubted her efforts as it made her endeavor more...I demeaned her achievements because it galvanized her to achieve more...I blemished her aspirations because it made her aspire for more, dream a new dream, live a new life...as she does now...SHE LIVES BECAUSE SHE HATES ME.

This is how I now live my life or whatever is left of it...because for every obstacle that I place in her path, for every time that insult her on her face, for every time that I disparage her, for every time that I denigrate her achievements, for every time that I scorn at her efforts and for every time that I derogate her being...I kill a part of me.....part by part, day by day, piece by piece...I mutilate my being...Shred by shred, fragment by fragment, scrap by scrap I murder my soul.

And yet in this destruction of self, I find bliss...in this mutilation I find solace...in this killing I find atonement...in this death I find life for I DIE BECAUSE I LOVE HER.

My Final Goodbye to you all - Sandeep

"You all have made my past one year the most memorable. I laughed, cried and frowned with all of you here. My home was no longer far. It was right here at my fingertips. The homesickness was gone. With all of you by my side whenever I needed a hug or a shoulder, I felt safe. I felt at peace. I have always believed that it is the waves of time and of experiences that give you a shape. That make you the person you are. You are born without a shape and as these waves hit you, it chisels your soul and leaves behind "you". Thanks for being the waves which helped me shape into a wonderful human being. Thanks for leaving behind a will to face challenges. Thanks for bearing with my tantrums. You all have been my friends and siblings and this place has been my primary abode. Thanks for making my home so beautiful to live in. Thanks for making our home the breeding ground of so many masterpieces.

My time has come. Time to move on. Time to leave all of you here. I have formed some forever friends here. I have tried my best to give you the best of what I had. Parting is inevitable. It's time for me to detach from you all. It's time for you all to pick up the baton and take the new course with a never before seen vigor. It's time for you to take it up in your hands and take our baby to the next level. A star has its life. It twinkles brightly, fades with time and then sizzles away. It knows its time has come. And when it does, it severes its ties and lets it go. They say if you wish something when you see a falling star, the wish would come true. That's how even in its dying moments, the star instills hope in everyone out there. And it makes its life worthwile. If I have been able to instill hope in even one of you through my works, I consider my stay worthwile. I consider my life worthwile. I consider my decision to start and shape this place the way it is today worthwile.

I will be here for you all. Like a guardian angel. Watching all of you from above. Seeing you do stuff which will make me proud of having given birth to something which has become a way of life. I will miss you all. With a heavy heart I bid goodbye to all.

Adios!"

Director: "Cutttttttttt!!! What a shot, Sandeep!! You got into the skin of the role of a priest embarking on his last journey to the "t"!! Good shot! Team......break for lunch!"

(P.S: he he he...Nope...I am not leaving the lounge...how can I leave my family? Cheers!!)

-----------------------------------------------------

I blaaaaaaaaaag at: yeM Bee yAe

Dear Mom ...

Dear Mom,

I always wanted to know

How much you love me

Staying awake through the night

I cried for that love

That love

That I wanted to see in your eyes

I never saw it ever

Why mom? Why?

Why do you make me cry

Can't you see the pain in my eyes?

I know you know my pain

Still you never hold my hand

My tears all in vain!

Hold me dear Mom

You mean the world to me

Let me share your worries

Will I ever see your love

Raining on Me?

Will you let me confide in you?

A moment of happiness

A single moment of bliss

Is all that I desire!

When I try to hug you next

Please do not push me away

Let me rest in peace there

Because that is my world

My world to stay!

- Your Daughter!