Till death do us part !

I hear your cries

Yes, I do

I see the pain and suffering

It makes me restless to see you faint like this

But I won't let you die!

I am gonna be there for you

For you have been my sole friend in this lone journey of sad life

You let me by myself

with no fear of being ignored, misjudged and ill-treated

So how can I let you die alone

You are gonna revive!

That's a promise.

Till death do us part !

Sign Misunderstood

“What do you want?”,she asked,sounding a bit irritated.

“You”,came the reply.

“That doesn’t gonna change what has happened between us”.

“Then tell me what I can do to change it”,he wanted her back,desperately now.

This was all she had been waiting to hear. She wanted to scream out her love for him

.Her heart pounded,skipped a beat and finally she gathered courage to speak,but words just won’t come.

He took it as a sign of her losing faith in his love.A sign misunderstood .

“I know I have been a jerk in your life. I have the capacity to hurt you and this is what made me run away from you.But trust me, every single second that I breathe,I remember you.”

She knew this all.She knew he loved her but just won’t admit and express it,a hard to understand soul he always has been.

“But trust me, this time I won’t leave you.Never ever. Just trust me and come back to me.I really really Love you.Please forgive me for all the past things that I have done to hurt and humiliate you.I am sorry”,he said sounding low now.

She had been waiting for this day and this very moment since the day they broke up.And now that all this was happening in real,she just couldn’t control her tears from showing up in her eyes.

But he thought she didn’t want him back again.He thought she was engaged with someone else.He took it as a sign telling him to back off as she had already moved on in life with some else.

He interpreted it as a sign that she wasn’t in love with him anymore and just didn’t want him back.But this was surely , a sign misunderstood.

She was crying.Dreams striking reality made her cry.

“Okay, I understand.I have no right to ask forgiveness for all the past deeds and obviously no right to ask for you and your love again.I am sorry that I called”,he hung up on her.

She stood dumbstruck.With the cell phone in her hands and frozen to death.She just lost what she thought was hers for life.Her silence was misinterpreted. But she couldn’t help correcting the sign misunderstood because the call log said the call was made by unknown caller,a Skype call with no number to dial back.

http://smitasdesk.blogspot.com/

I am sorry, I lied to you !

Sorry I lied ,

Lied a million times to you.

Hiding the pain and just ,

Smiling in-front of you !

You asked me,

"What's wrong?",

I wanted to scream,

"Everything",

But I lied,

"All's good".

You asked me,

"Did anything happened today?"

I lied,

"No nothing"

"Everything is fine"

You asked me,

"Are you crying?"

I lied,

"No, why would I cry"

"I am happy"

You asked me,

"How was your day?"

I wanted to tell you

All the shit that had happened that day,

But I lied,

"My day was just usual,

like everyday "

You asked me,

"What did you do the whole day?"

I wanted to cry,

Like I had been crying

That whole day,

But I lied,

"I did some home stuff and studies"

I know you knew something was wrong,

I know you knew that I was in pain,

I know you knew that I was lying,

I know you might be hurt after reading this,

But I had to lie.

Lie beacause

You were entering a new phase of your life,

Phase for which you had toiled so much.

I just had no right to snatch that happiness from you,

To deprive you of the smiles you deserved.

I didn't want to loathe you with my depression,

I just couldn't be so selfish.

Hence,

I lied.

I know you would have been there

when I  cried,

When I was depressed.

But I didn't want to

sadden you by my sorrow tales.

I wanted you to be happy,

And believe

That I was happy too.

Because

Seeing you happy,

Somewhere made me happy too !

Hence

I am confessing it today,

Right here,

In-front of you.

That

I am Sorry,

Sorry,

That I lied to you !

[ She was going through a bad time, but never did she let her friend know that, with whom she used to chat daily via text messages,  as he was shifting from her city to a metro city for his first job. ]  
Smita
http://smitasdesk.blogspot.com/

Depression.

Emotions

Thoughts

Feelings

Piled up inside

Waiting to burst

All you want is to end it all

Because your too scared and shy to cry

You take the knife ready to bring it all to an end

No one can do anything about it

Life just is a sad story

But,

Why die?

When all you have to do is cry.

Love

Sonshu

P.S: I wrote this one in five minutes randomly because I felt like writing it. :) The picture inspired me =)

AAOOO

why is the lounge so silent today.

today even I want to be silent

silent silent all day in silence

silence is eating me up now

now is the time to start again

again let the sun shine bright on us

us,them and anyone in sight

sight growing dimmer but hearts still on fire

fire of hope, hope to see her again

again is this vain or is it my pain

pain go away I am ready for the other day

What's wrong??? Stressed I am!!!

Stressed I am.. every minute and second of the day,

How do I get away from it??



I feel so depressed and tired of it and I don't sleep,

though my eyes are so heavy with sleep.



I know everyone wants to ask me, why i look so so sad

But, they know the answer and keeps their mouth shut..



Every morning I wake up with feel of hopeless,

I am afraid that nothing is going to be right!



The feeling is killing me...

and I am dying here!

Shades of Sadness - 1 ( Broken and shattered )

I walk alone
In a wait
for you to return....

My friends wonder why
I cannot see...
That The gate I longed to open
Is now closed forever....

"phir shaam mein tanhaai jaagi...
phir yaad tum aa rahe ho...
phir jaan machalne lagi hain!
kyun mujhko tadpa rahe ho....
kyun mujhko tadpa rahe ho....

The darkness have swallowed
the moonlight
My sun is set without you...
It would never rise!

"is din mein yaadon k mele hain...
tum bin bahut hum akele hain....
Aa jao... laut kar tum... ye dil keh raha hai...

***

I talk to you by my dreams
trying to figure out where was I wrong...
While they bury you deep...
Inside the calm of this land...
My happiness dies with you...
captured in closed wrist of your hand!
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"Tum Bin jiya jaaye kaise....
kaise jiye jaaye tum bin...
sadiyon se lambi hain raatein
sadiyon se lambe huye din..."

-
I also blog @ POETIC CRIES

(ps - I dont know why I wrote this... )

Rishta..

Haqiqat kia thi meray liye ab zarorri naheen tha. Main ik aise tilsm main thi jahan se laut kar ana meray bas main naheen tha. Na main ishq janti thi na he "sihq ke ain" se waqif thi main to bas wajood se agha thi. Main jitna usssay janti thi yun mehsoos hota tha jaise kisi dosray ko na pehchanti hon. Ik ajeeb si kashish si thi uske wajood main meray liye, Main khud bakhud uski taraf na chahtay hoay bhi khinchi khinchi jati thi. Is yaqeen ke saath jee rahi thi uske khuwabon main ke nasirf main ussay janti hon, chahti hon woi bhi mujhe janta hai, chahta ha. Mujhe mujh se behtar janta hai magar Ishq ke ain se wapsi ka safar mujhe tee'h karna he para kiun ke uski nazar-e-karam ab kisi aur taraf maa'il hochuki thi. Mera irada ussay roknay ka tha. Main chahti thi ke wo tehr jaye, ruk jaye sambhal jaye. Mujhe lagta tha ke wo meray hisar se kabhi nikalna naheen chahay ga, main sab theek karlongi chutki bajatay he magar ussay ghutan mehsoos hoti thi. Meri mohabbat ka hisar us par tang hogaya tha.. Taluq bas totnay ko tha k... Mujhe ye karna par ;

Wo aya tha mere pass,
mjhe bs ye btanay ko,
ke taluq totnay ko hai,
k uski manzil badal gai hai,
ab k zarorat kisi or ki hai,
so rastay hoay ab juda hamary,
humsafri apni khatam hoi hai,
na roka main ne na usko toka,
us liye par chala main us ja,
jahan se 'Main' 'Wo' HUM banay thay,
wo hairan sa samnay khara oa tha,
ke mor ke rukh,
dosri simt ko barh gaya main,
na phr ruka main na palat k dikha,
wo taluq k totnay ka btanay wala,
shayd mjhe ab bi bula raha tha,
magar main ja chuka tha,
'Taluq k totnay ko bacha chuka tha'!

This not very fine from myside but please accept this

Khuwahish !

Khuwahish!

Ye meri beti ka kamra hai jise maray hoay teen din ho chukay. Aj uska soyam tha. Meri beti sab larkion se alag honay ki dawedar thi jab k yehi baat mjhe uski sab se aam lagti thi. Ye naheen tha ke wo meri ikloti olaaad thi na he ladli beti bas thori si khudsar, ziddi or mun-phutt si lerki thi (is baat par kisi ko shak nahin tha sewaye uskay) ussay ab lagnay laga tha ke jaise wo bilkul akaili hogai hai uski maa to kia main bhi ussay pyar naheen karti . Wo jab kabhi ghussay main ati yehi kehti ;
main mar bhi jaon gi to kisi ko kon sa farq parega main kon sa kisi ka beta hon! Ziyada se ziyada do roz sog manain ge sab.
main jab uski ye jazbati batain sunta hameesha hansta! Or us waqt ussay duniya ke gool ghumnay se lekar meray hansnay tak par ayteraz hota (main uskay jama kiye novels dekh raha tha. Usay ye shoq maa bap se virasat main mila tha). Usay duniya ko khud se taskheer karna acha lagta tha. Uska kamra hameesha bikhra rehta (main uskay takiye [pillow] par haath rakha) magar marne se pehlay wo isse itna saaf kar gai thi ke lag raha tha jaise wo abhi yaheen kisi konay se nikal kar ayegi mujhe betha daikhe gi hairan hokar or kahegi 'papa ap yahan kia kar rahain hain?'
Ye kamra meri beti ka sab se pasandeedah gosha [corner] tha ghar ka. Main apni beti k saray shikway dor karna chahta tha, ussay batana chahta tha ke main usse utna he pyar karta hon jitna apne baqi bachon se. Han ussay sab se ziada dantta tha magar isliye kaheen wo bigar na jaye. Tabhi meri biwi meray pass ayi .

"ye apkay liye aya tha" usne ik packet meri taraf barahaya, main ne oper uske chehray par nazar ki to wo bhi nam-alood tha shayed ussay bhi apne beti ki yad arahi hogi.

"kia hai ismain?" main ne usay pocha , usnay lailmi ka izhar kia or janay lagi. Main ne ussay darwaza band karkay janay ko kaha.

Packet khola to usmain ik card or kuch cheezain theen jin main ik leather ka wallet, ik kurta shalwar or ik parcha shamil tha. Main ne card uthaya (father's day ka card hoga) main ne sochtay sochtay card khola magar kholnay par pata chala ke wo to valentines day especial tha ( main hairan hoa bhala valentines day wish karne wala mjhe kon hosakta hai? ) card par meray naam ke ilawa chand satrain likhi hoi theen.

Although I hate Valentine's Day but this year,
I wished someone to be my valentine !
Who else it could be but you.
So will you be my valentine Dad?

Main ne ansoon ko saaf kiya aur nazam wala parcha uthayaparhna shuru kiya to ehsaas hoa ke ye to shayed wohi wali nazm hai jiska mazak meray betay mazak ura rahay thay, usne yeh poem kisi conest main bhi bheji thi shayed isi baat par mazak ura rahay thay main ne nazam ko ik bar phir ghor se parhna shuru kia;

Come With Me Before I Leave!

Death is on its way,

But before leaving you behind,

All alone on your own,

I've a feeling,
I should return once to you,

All the precious moments,

That you really deserve,

I want to hug you,

Kiss you and embrace you,

Like never before,

So that whenever you see yourself,

in a mirror or in someone's eyes,

It reminds you the love of mine,

The feel of mine,

As i want to live in you,

Yes! I knw i am in you,

But after me i know,

Your life will not stop,

Even i dont want so,

As all i want is just to,

LOVE YOU!
PROTECT YOU
&
INSPIRE YOU!

Main ne nazzam ke akhir main dekha to mujhe mukhtib karke meri beti ne do lines likheen theen;

Dad! ye nazam main ne apke liye likhi thi koi

man he naheen raha jisne

bhi parhi usne kaha ye koi dad k liye naheen

likh sakta main apki boht achi beti

naheen hon sirf achi bhi naheen hon magar

dad mujhe maaf kardijiyega or ye cheezain rakh

lejiye ga! kash main apko ye khud deti or app ko

agar cheezain pasand ati to app bhai ki tarhan

mujhe bhi galay lagatay! hai na dad!

Main ne apne apko apne bazon main bhench lia meri beti ko meray galay lagnay ka kitna shoq tha. Kash Papa ki jan! tum yahan hoteen to papa tumhain galay lagatay ik bar phir batatay ke wo tum se kitna pyar karte hain. Kash! Tum ye pehlay papa ko parhwateen to yun khali khuwahish liye to na jateen! Kash PAPA tumhari ye khuwahish puri kardetay! Kash Tum aj zinda hoteen!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is just another piece of mine. Hope you will feel and enjoy it while reading, as i enjoyed and i feeled while writting it! All thanks to my dad as while i wrote this he was away and his apartness made me write this! Readers please comment and suggest!

Thank-you!

- illusiOn!