The Road to Away

a Penguin-Grasshopper post 
[1st of the final posts of the series]
Read about Penguin-Grasshopper, HERE

How long has it been?? 2 years? 2 days or decades?

Time waits for none. Least of all for emotions and feelings. This post is dedicated to the girl named Penguin. Yes, those annoying yet pretty animal thingy's that walk around in snow and ice and what not. Penguin. Yep, she's just like that. Annoying as hell but pretty amazing too.

It all started in Delhi. Oh wait, it all started in a blog called 'The Writer's Lounge'. It started from here, blossomed in Chennai and faded away to Bangalore. Today she's just a BBM ping, an sms away, yet it seems everything else that had once been dear and alive is now dead. As i scroll down the memories that was once the life and soul of us, the feelings and the scenes etched in words in this blog takes me back to the madness and euphoria of being with her. The restlessness that was once abundant has vanished. With the passing of time, the distances made it worse.

Neither tried to hold on and neither tried to go away. It was as if separation just stepped in between. I could feel the gaping hole forming in my life even as she was slowly moving away. The loneliness that threatened to entwine with the emptiness of her absence slowly formed as i let her slip into the hungry world. I always knew that illusion would end. Just never realised, it would be so painful and swift and heart-breaking. Karma has its own style of inflicting what you do not expect. 

Nevertheless, she was happy in the direction she moved and i was back to my own imperfect world. Only the dullness of monotomy set in. The impulse ridden boy called Grasshopper faded away into the more practical Freelancer. The angel named Penguin, long forgotten into the words of a writer. Maybe we were destined to meet just to go away. Cupid really has a funny sense of humour. Today, she is in Bangalore. Not too far from Chennai. But i don't think i would go and meet her. Neither will she come over to Chennai. We both know, sometimes we have to live life in the present for it to make sense in the future. 

I promised myself, i would not let this story fade away too. This is more than just a post. This is an amalgamation of the most vibrant memories and the the most troubled decisions. This is how Grasshopper and Penguin fades away. And you better be sure of the fact that the next couple of final posts would go out in a bang. This is a celebration to me and her. This is to her staring into my eyes. This is to me palying 'mere sang tu chal zara' everytime we met. This is to knowing you and loving you and losing you.

-the dude of the story

The Beginning of a Beginning

July 25th, 2026

Dear Diary,

How time flies.....

As she walked down the stairs, her hair muddled and as she supressed a yawn, the innocent twitching of her nose and till the moment she ran into my arms, i felt a sense of deja vu. 15 years back into the past, the same scenario was replayed at a differnt place, in a different era.

'Nau...sheeen'I softly breathed in the sylabbles that was her name. My wife looked at me with raised eyes, subduing a smile.

My name is Richard. And this is my beginning of an end.

She was 26 then. I was an old fool in need of love. I was in love with her. My awkward, bumbling ways worked an odd charm on her and suddenly the world's most beautiful girl was in the arms of the world's most geekiest boy. Slowly yet surely she was replacing my Death Star with her own planet. I welcomed the new change. I dropped my light saber for her hand. She gave words to my feelings and emotions to my needs. Gazing the stars alone at nights had a new meaning when she joined me and created harmony with the universe. In between muffled moans under the starry night and shooting stars, our hearts beat in unison. She became my guiding light as she transformed me from a geek to an almost stud.Little did i know what the Gods had planned for me all along. But at that moment, it was only me and that angel that mattered. The emotions that i thought i never had in myself shocked me when they opened up. 

As, i look back at those days, i realise Muthu was right. She would be the end of me. She definitely was the end of our friendship. Before i was smitten, we were the Starsky and Hutch, the this and that. Now, as days passed to months, i can only hope that he has forgiven me for at that time my perfect planet skewered out of orbit and revolved around hers. My costant companions, my glasses were traded for the new lens she made me wear. She changed me, physically and socially, i was more acceptable. My friends got shuffled and i found new ones. My interests didn't match hers, so she found new ones for me. All for love, i accepted blindly. She was the prize, the rest didn't matter. I paid no heed to the wind and what started as a whirlwind romance that threatened to challenge the world ended up in series of nightmares that threatened to engulf me in towers of smoke. Crash and burn, i went through it all in the blink of an eye.

Then, in the summer of 2011, she married my neighbor's son.

In the spring of 2012, she and her husband died in a car accident.

In late 2011, Muthu admitted me to the nearest hospital after i was found lying drunk in some alley behind a bar. Binge drinking does that to people. Weed and Whiskey were my only allies when life decided to stop using me as its pawn. Long story short, Muthu and Dr. Emily nursed me back to health. The relationships that i thought vanished with her absence started to start anew. My friendship with Muthu suffered but he was gracious enough to let the past remain in the past. And Dr. Emily started creeping into my life as the walls i built around myself cracked over time. Nausheen's death was a wake-up call and i knew i had to be strong. And Dr. Emily was that rock on which i leaned. She made the climb back to sanity easier.

My name is Richard. And that was the end of my beginning.

15 years later, in a different time, i watched the girl in my arms, kiss me good morning. Tarun was still asleep. Emily made her way towards me and hugged the both of us. "She has her chin, you know" she told me softly. I smiled at her. "But she has your eyes and your charm", Emily continued.

I took out the gift i carefully wrapped last night and handed it to my daughter. "Happy Birthday, Nausheen"

Total Word Count - 615

Somewhere

The winds spoke her name

and the night dragged on

The lonely cigarette burned

the smoke hanged on

The glass clicked once

and the drink met the ice

The shaky hands lifted it up

Gulped it down in thrice 

Somwhere a banshee wailed

Somewhere a mirror cracked

Somewhere a soul's dying

Somewhere my love lacked

Its Me and Pink Floyd

Swearing at the gods

She has gone south

Tearing up the chords

Half the whiskey's gone

Half the sofa's burnt

Bring on the weed, gentlemen

and repeat the mistakes learnt.

Somewhere i loved you

Somewhere you left

Somewhere the world didn't give a fuck

Somewhere i wept.

The Final Revenge

The Dark Lord was not happy. no, not one bit. I could see the anger in those menacing eyes. I stay as far from him as i can, unless am summoned. Tonight he is in a rage. Somebody messed up.

It was a killer night. The whistling of the winds added to the chill of the night. He was plotting, he was planning. That, i could guess as much. I am a death-eater. Not by choice, but by submission. And in his presence, even i could feel the blood freeze slowly in me.

The Dark Lord turned and stared. Straight at me. I forgot the fact that he could read minds. For a moment that stretched to eternity, his eyes scanned the depths of my mind. I made my resolve stronger as much as i could without breaking eye contact.

Hours passed before he made a move. He was the hunter tonight. Someone was going to die. He was going to destroy what couldn't be his. I followed my master as he made his way through the dead forest. The moonlight didnt touch him. Wherever he went, only death followed.

A creak. A dry twig snapped somewhere in the distance. 

Lord Voldemort raised his wand and muttered, AVADA KEDAVRA!!!! twice!

Two thuds. Two bodies fell. Pinocchio and Michael Jackson lay lifeless on the ground.

The Dark Lord walked away. The master got his revenge for his botched up nose-job.

WheN aLL HopE FadES

When the winds of love slowly die down

The path to me is uncertain ahead.

The fate of us now rests with me

I won’t give up. Not today.

When the doubts in your mind grow too much

And the faith in me lies in shadows

The flame of my heart will light the way

And crush the demon that follows.

When each step you take grow harder

And you don’t have the strength to carry on

Whisper my name, in your dreams

I will deliver you to the dawn.

When all hope fades and you stumble

And the world left behind is full of pain

Trust your love in me, my love

And tomorrow will be better again.

First Glance

a 'dear diary' post

Never in my wildest dreams, never to the power infinity. And then that never 'thingy' got kicked out of orbit as she walked by.

First glance. Dressed in tight jeans and a top, she looked like everyone. Her flowing hair masked her face as she walked across the road. She hadn't seen me yet. Infact nobody ever sees me. Twice. Girls like her are not meant for guys like me. Well that's the universal rule that i have come to follow and understand. Moreover love was not something i was ready to experiment with. Seen my elder sister come home drunk, weepy eyed only to thrash the hell out of me as if i was the one to play football with her heart. And when she is sober, i have to mend those broken pieces of hers by giving her hope. God is gonna burn me to smithereens. So long story short, LOVE? na na.

And then she walked by as she made her way to the university. Even if i was an flying dragon, she wouldnt have noticed me. But she did. By God, she did. A flick of her head and her kajal-laden eyes met mine. And for an eternity of a minute, my heart raced with triple doses of LSD, hashish or whatever frigging drugs available to make you do that. I stood there rooted, not even able to reply back to the smile she gave. The sunrays bounced of the stud in her nose and all i could do was stand there as if i was tased.

Hell i was tased. With that 1000 watt smile of hers. But it was too late. She ran towards the building. She didnt turn back. Not once to look at the poor soul who was out of breath. Did i miss the moment?

Hush, my dear

You can kill me with your words

But you chose silence instead

I thought i could withstand all

By my own tears i was betrayed

The mistakes i made grew too much

Now words are left unsaid

The cold war rages and the angels fall

The road to bliss is hazy ahead

Why so angry, oh my love

when beneath your love's roaring ablaze

Take me back with open arms

My heart still beats in your rage

You cry yourself to sleep at night

And i sleep with dreams to fear

I know the words you wouldn't speak

Just smile, hush... my dear!

Near YET far

A Penguin-Grassy post

I dunno why am writing this.Today...after being absent for so long, and most probably will be absent from tomorrow again. But then again, the 'now' belongs to me. Most of you probably do not remember us. Us means, the adorable 'Grasshopper' and the annoying 'Penguin'. No matter, this is Grassy's rant tonight.

June 2009. A year has passed since then. For me and her, it feels we have lived a lifetime. Together and Separated. By choice and destiny. Penguin is in Chennai tonight. She has been here for the last two months. And i have met her...once! Yes, once! Six months ago, it was for the same girl i waited for. Her trips to Chennai were short then and we made sure we met almost every other day. Nothing else mattered but being near her....watching her smile, being drowned in her eyes. 

Mocha and Cafe Coffee Day became our home. With a flicker of her eyes, a thousand nerves in my brain twitched and a dozen emotions raged. The walks in the rain, the secretly staring at each other. We always did say we were the bestest of friends, but we both knew something wonderful lurked inside. Something that just needed to be ignited, just needed a spark. Madness right? yeah, we were mad. At each other, for each other. 

A year down the line and the towering waves of feelings have calmed down quietly....slowly... The pings became less, the sms's infrequent, the talks nearly non-existent. In short, we moved on. What we had was wonderful. So wonderful, that the absence of it leaves a gaping whole in life now. What we feel for each other now, we keep it to ourselves. But she will always be my Penguin, my weakness, my strength.

One thing i know she is still her silly self...we just have to find the spark, the spark that lit Chennai City ablaze a year ago...I smile at myself knowing she is here....in this city. The weather has been romantic this last week and its muddling my thoughts....but she is here...nearby....

Its not closure yet. Not yet.

Ssssshhhh....the cupids are hiding..

Love you loads, 

the dude of the story

(click on the Penguin-grassy link at the top to understand the story if you are confused)

windy road-death ahead

Sold my heart tonight

Betrayed on a windy night

you smiled and i died

Newspapers - has the mighty fallen?

With the world wide web in our fingertips today, the once mighty daily newspaper powerhouses faces stiff competition. In this 21st century, where the world waits for no one, people do not have the luxury of sitting on the porch and read newspapers from front to back. Gone are the days when we used to read or rather watched our dad read the newspaper on the front lawn with up cup of tea in his hand! Those days can only be revisited in those classic hollywood movies where theses scenes have been stereotyped for all eternity. In this electronic age, a beep on the mobile or a few seconds on the internet delivers us all the news we need from anywhere in the world. Oh i know! I brought the BlackBerry for exactly the same reason. Little did i know it would cost me daily gprs charge!

Anyways, in most rural and urban areas, newspapers still dominate as the bringer of world news. With newspapers being printed in thousands of languages, people living in even the most remote places today are connected to the world. Is Honolulu remote?? Indeed newspapers have brought the world much closer. 

Though in this digital age, cable television and internet provide with the swiftest news possible, majority of the people still depend on the morning newspaper to start their day. I remember my childhood days when dad used to force me to read the editor's section atleast when i was only interested in the sports page and the comics section! Though newspapers today may not enjoy the success they achieved about a decade ago, powerful and distinguished distribution publications like 'The SUN' and 'The New York Times' are still going strong and probably will for another two-three decades.

Newspapers will survive. A gut feeling mostly! The next generation will still read them as i did. One thing i can vouch for is that i will be one of them....stil reading...still being motivated and inspired.

Death still on...

Lonely was I,

DEATH came by

A life beyond death

With DEATH gone,
LIFE is born!

If only you knew

If only you knew it was fate

there is still time, its not too late

Just close your eyes and watch the signs

waiting for you in love-laced binds, i still wait

I stood there and you never knew

we crossed paths and all the sparks flew

If only you knew where to look

I lay hanging in your heart's hook...baby,its true.

As i walk around in the rain

Tears dissolve masking the pain

I smile as if everything's fine

Even dreams of making you mine drowned in vain

P.S| This type of poetry is called 'the Florette'

it consists of two or more 4-line stanzas. 

Rhyme scheme: a,a,b,a  

Meter: 8,8,8,12 

 Line #4 requires an internal rhyme scheme that rhymes the eighth syllable with 
the end of line #3, and continues to add on four more syllables than the other lines so that the 
fourth line ends rhyming with lines #1 and #2.

Twisted Care

'Dad....where are you?'


He didn't hear her voice calling him. He was too far. She followed the footprints in the snow.


He turned and saw her shivering.
'My love, its too cold. You should stay inside'


He pulled her towards him to make her feel warm. Smiling she plunged the dagger into his chest.




P.S|Look at the total blog posts in January! Pathetic condition folks.
chain posts people! i want someone to continue it. 

Birthday Blast Artz and Arun

 

Far away in North,

A gal lies awake..

the clock strikes midnight

She rushes to cut the cake.

Somewhere in the South,

A dude can't sleep

Coz when the clock strikes 12

His age by one will leap :)

The chick, the hottie, the NYX

Oh she's known by many

But for me, she's PENGUIN

the gal with the BlackBerry :)

While the doc, the Cupid's Lunatic

from the classroom he tweets....

He blogs...and bowls us over

When his funny bone and mush meets

Today, many many years ago

When angels crisscrossed the stars

Two of them visited the Earth

And decided to live among us...

THOUGH i am sure one's a Devil :)

Yet they are the Lounge's Siblings

AARTHI and ARUN, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you

May the Gods fulfill your dreams..

Wishing you a many many happy returns of the day guys

I am your Death

I am no prince that anyone would wed

I knew not life until you came along

You kickstarted my life and then you fled

And I knew not death until you were gone

Who says a guy always needs to be strong?

Even you know girl, what you did was wrong.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

But what about the guy who feels the same?

Heart's in pieces, the one you once adorned

And there is no one but you left to blame

The memories of you still makes me cry

The tears i shed for you wiped my soul dry.

Now I am out here lurking in the dark

You make merry coz its not gonna last

And when the time comes, you will feel the mark

The sweet smell of cold revenge is my lust

Remember me when you take your last breath

I am coming my love, I am your death.

I am yours....in silence

You
Me 
and him.
Between us
the truth remains lost
While you dismiss my emotions...
I can see you craving for his feelings in your eyes
The pain threatens to engulf me... i shake it off just to see you smiling everyday.
My love for you is not so weak that it might falter
Neither my heart can see you cry
Only in silence
you are mine...
Just you
and..
ME!

Washed up

Rain Drops fell on her...
She lay still....almost lifeless

Drowning in her blood.

She - 2

Meowwww

she purred happily in his arms. She felt safe there. Away from the horrible rumors. If they were true, the world would never be the same again. She had to be with him.... one last time

She jumped out of the window. In a flash she transformed.

Professor McGonagall faded away into the mist.

To do...or not to do

Is it good enough?, he wondered. The thought of him not being sure made him more jittery. The others were good....quite good. Was he up to it? The misgivings that governed his mind turned him into a complete wreck...


Before he changed his mind, he did it!


he hit the PUBLISH button on BLOGGER