He loves me not!

Every morning i wake up to a new day with emptiness in my heart. I dress up and walk lost completely in my own thoughts.I sometimes don' undersand myself a all. I know that i am running to reach somehing,I know i am searching for something. But i don' get it! I mean where i am heading to!? What i am searching for!? Why does rain bring such bliss in my heart! Why do i yearn to behold the beauty of a butterfly.Why am i waiting for a miracle that would change my life!?? My mind is filled with questions. The quest has begun.But the path is unknown. I am lost in my own journey called life.How starnge i don't understand my own life. When i say i am searching for god why isit that people laugh at me!? What's so funny about it!? The happiness i know takes is own sweet time.Why there are times in my life its so dark that i cry to find that ray of light. Why is the sky empty. Where are all those stars which once shone upon me!? Where is that wave which once sung me a symphony!? Where is my god who wiped my tears. Where is he who once held my hand and said he would never let go!?

I played that game again. Its called "He loves me, He loves me not. " Why i always lose the game!? Why does it always says "He loves me not" !

PS: Cross posted from my blog.

Love at first snow!

When i reached my stop, I exchanged a shy look with Joshua. His deep blue eyes have left me numb since the day i saw him. Now i knew, why all the drama about my dressing this early morning. Joshua was back to office after a very long vacation. I wished he didn't get engage to some one during his vacation. So as i sat beside him waiting for the bus, i checked his finger. When his honey filled voice called my name, Hey Zoeeeeeeee, i smiled. I started blabbering about everything that happened in his absence.

That's when the bus arrived. We both boarded the bus. I was shy to sit beside him. My loss was her gain. A young beautiful girl sat beside him. Which made m jealous as hell. and my mind stopped working, I was not sure if my heart was working. That's exactly when i realised two things, that i am madly in love with him and its freezing cold outside.And i am dressed for summer. Huh! The castle i built in the air vanished just like the air. I hit the rock bottom.

The whole day in my work place i was not sure if i knew what was going on around me. I was completely lost.I just wanted to go home and cry loudly. I left office early. As i stepped outside i saw the snow flakes.The first snow fall of the year.The beautiful snow didn't change my mood.I sat alone in the bus. Slowly the bus started getting filled. I saw Josh getting in. When he sat beside me i didn't know how to react.

I felt warm sitting beside him. When i saw his smile, i forgot that i was angry. He started telling me about his trip. When we got down, he asked me if i would like to walk with him. I nodded my head in response. He laughed at me, and gave me his coat. As we walked he held my hand.I was not quite sure what was happening. We sat by the tree side. The view was breathtaking.

He said, Zoe, "she is not my girl friend".

My face went all red. He took my face in his hands and kissed me on my lips.

I felt warm and safe in his arms. My Love at first snow!

Word Count: 398.

Red Rose..

Kneeling down on your knees,

You whispered "I Love You".

You walked away swiftly,

leaving me far behind.

I called you,

But you did not turn back.

I Saw your tear drop ,

On a red rose lying on the stone.

I would have replied "I Love You Too",

Only If I was Alive .

Friendship ♥

Journey of my life

Goes on the wild roads

The humps and the breaks

Give me a hard times

But i wont stop

I wont look back

I am gonna move on

With you by my side

Hand in hand

together We walk

Burden of yoke

Is now air like

You make me strong

Stop me when i go wrong

Made me laugh when was crying

Made me pose with cheesing

You taught me honesty

Its all about loyalty

You cried when i cried

When i was happy, you overjoyed

The journey might not be smooth

But i enjoy every bit of it

For we face it together

Thus Our friendship is like a flower

Friends !!

F - few

R - Relations

I - In

E - Earth

N - Never

D - Die

P.S : I got dis piece from my inbox !

Friendship Rockzzzz ..

Almighty !

My mind is a battlefield

War between good n the evil

Arises millions of questions

On the way so many hindrance

Two sides always juggling

Forcing me to choose one thing

Devilish choices i make

which always looks fairy like

Two kingdoms fight for me

Dark force always attracts me

But in my life God's will be done

For, My lord Will always win !

Good side telling me to go ahead

Evil side dragging me back instead

Confused with the state of mind

I am afraid of staying behind

But lord anointed me with his blessings

Leading me always to bright success

The evil in my mind has come to an end

With the Power of god, devil is bent

His angels guard me

Holy spirit live in me

Blessed i am with his grace

His love for me is so abundance

My faith in him is unshakable

Trusting him everything is accomplish able

The Devil they say, is mighty

I know my holy Father is Almighty !

The Mid-Night Rain ..

I was curled up in my blanket. Dreaming about something i don't remember. I slowly opened up my eyes. I felt i was in a different world. I could not feel the ground for some reason. I didn't know what time was it. I got out of the bed. It was a beautiful cloudy evening. Standing by the window i watched the sun set down leaving me there all alone.

The cool breeze kissed me. I sipped my hot coffee. The dark clouds grew thicker. I was very happy to see such a weather. I played my favourite music. I stepped into the shower and the hot water touched my body slowly

relaxing my every muscle. The lovely weather and my favourite music added more fun to my bathe. I was lost in the fragrance and was singing loudly. A loud clap of thunderstorm shake me.

I stepped out wrapped in a towel, picked up my favourite lingerie. Dried my hair. Without any reason i was happy inside.I was dancing while i dried my hair. I sprinkled my perfume. The awesome aromatic flavour drew me to some magical land.I slipped in my gown. I left my brown hair open. Rubbed a little lip balm. & Stepped into my black leather heels.

As i walked down the lane, the breeze whispered something in my ear which made me smile. I wanted to know why my heart was so happy and singing so loud inside.I left behind my scent as i walked.The cold wind carried my flavour.I sat on the bench far from the crowd..Waiting to hear the sound of the thunder again. The chilled air was driving me crazy..I looked up at the dark cloudy sky..

I felt like dancing looking at such a beautiful sky with black clouds.. I saw a butterfly on the bench..I felt it was telling me something..I was overjoyed at the sight of a butterfly and the heavenly weather.I was singing out loud not bothered about the world.The drop of a rain touched my lips.I closed my eyes, held my head up high..

I spread my arms wide open like wings of a bird.I felt light inside.I was floating in the air..I was scared my heart might just explode with the extreme happiness.I knew why was i so happy. The droplets started pouring down touching my face. The mid-night rain drenched me..

I realised why was my heart singing out loud.I knew why was i here.I realised how much i missed rain.I shut my eyes gently to listen to the sound of rain.I was immersed in the unseen happiness.I was in a different world.I was held by the magical rain.It washed away my sorrows..It filled my heart with the exuberance.I wanted to grab hold of it and never let it go.

The steamy rain was still pouring down as i walked back with my soaked gown and wet hair.I love rain ,it always listens to my stories, sings to me, pours down when I'm alone, wash away my tears.I walked back with a smile on my face.I wondered whether it's a drop of a tear or a drop of a rain rolling down my cheeks !

She Could Never Be Me !

He introduced me to her proudly, "This is my girl Sophie !"
She said hello, with Her big eyes scorching my soul,
As i sipped coffee with them,
I saw Her face with wrinkles now, I knew, she could never be me !
I felt a pity, for he lost
a Diamond while searching for a Stone !

Death By Love ....

The world around me is so cruel

Its just a reflection of hell

Love buried in the grave

Poor heart, only love it craves

Darkness surrounding my happiness

Now i am used to the bitterness

Acids of love burning me all over

Turning my love into hatred forever

Beauty spilling outside the face

Filthy inside, with no grace

Slowly taught me to love

Blindfolded me to deceive

Act of winning heart, with charm

Felt false warmth, in his arm

His lies echo in my ear like a thunder

How did i lose my mind, I still Wonder

First love, First kiss i tasted

I might lose it, I feared

One in a million, i thought i was blessed

I never had it, I then realised

I lost it, before i could have it

Cursed is my life, i accept it

My soul no longer hungry for mortality

I only belong there in eternity

Love, the beauty and the beast, never pleased me

So i sip the poison of love, do not cry for me

Pain leaving my body, is a relieve

Oh ! How amazing is Death By Love !

I Miss You ..

Life would have been different

If we were Together

I would have been livin my life

But You left me, and i forgot to breathe

Looking back all i get is a tear

Wish you were here very near

groaning at the wickedness of my fate

I realise Now its too late

waking up with wet eyes i miss you !

Wish i never would have met you

Deep scar in my heart is not healed

The evil side of you is revealed

I hate you, as much as i love you

I cry at night thinking of you

Losing you was part of the game

For you played it so lame

My love for you is pure, i cry no more

For you will stay in my heart forever

As the Star fall down, i wish for you

My heart silently whispers *I MISS YOU*

He Gave Me A PearL !

It looks like the clouds of sadness is following me,It looks the blues just like me..It looks like the darkness is embracing me..It looks like the moon is laughing at me..It looks like the butterflies no more love me..It looks like the stars doesn't shine on me..There is no shimmer left in me ..The universe looks serene to me..It looks like angels have forgotten me..It looks like god is angry with me..

I asked love for eternity, He said love is my dear, mere mortality ! I delve into my heart for the delusion, ignited love..Now it makes me laugh when i write it all and burn it off !! I sit at the shore, turning my pain into tear ! There came a pretty boy gave me a pearl, cry no more my girl, i'm here ! He gazed into my eyes, I lost at hiz gaze, I got scared, i felt i was deep inside the sea .. I realised he was not my boy , he was an Angel !

He carassed me with his tender fingers, i shivered.. He took me in his arms..I know his heart is filled with love,I know he is immortal, He was shining like a pearl.. He showed me the unseen happiness.. He showed me the heaven..He gently kissed on my lips .. It is not a kiss my darling, for me, it is a bliss.. Now everything looks beautiful to me..

Everything looks worth living..I know the moon is happy for me, Butterflies loves me .. The clouds follow me, coz i love rain .. The angels 've not forgotten me, Coz they sent an Angel for me ! To wipe away my tears, to wash away my fears ..The stars now shine on me..He says they are my gifts to you my beloved, for our wedding..

Someone still embraces me at the dark, But now its not the darkness, its my angel ! No more lonesome nights, No more dim lights .. I know god wasn't angry on me, he was showering his blessings on me all the time..He is my king, i'm his queen, we fly away to the land of heavens..we live happily ever after..

I never want to open my eyes, I want to live the dream..Don't envy my happiness my dear, for you will someday find your Angel !!

The fantasy is lunatic, but i still love it !

PS: Missin WL Bigtime.. Li'l busy.. Wil b bak soon.. Miss u guyz..
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

If Only ...

I saw his shadow in my dream. I tried to catch him up. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to touch his lips with mine !!

His mesmerising smile melts my heart ! This isn't the first time i tried catching him in my wildest dreams. He is in my dreams almost every time i fall asleep.
I wonder is this really love?? Or just my desire to hold him. Or is this lust?? Is it turning into longing ??

He haunt my memories. I get angry. He doesn't give a damn. He doesn't even care for my existence. A virgin me, A fucker you. I hate you more than any one !!
I know he never even said hello from his heart. I want to delete him from my memories. But the more i try, bloody the more he haunts .

Is dream a fool's paradise??Is dream a fiction?? It might be, for its the only way to see him. I'm tryin to walk away and laugh it off . Nothing feels good now. He never said he loves me. But i assumed he liked me. I gaze at his pic for hours.why don't you take off that pic of yours you bugger !

I hate to sit alone in the dark. I wonder why my eyes are wet. I never wanted to end up writing about him in this way. I always wanted to see him in my dreams..

I never wanted to give it a chance to forget him, no matter if nothin feels good ..

If only, he loved me back, as madly as i did .
If only, he knew how much i love him..

I don't want to sleep at the ugly nights any more. The full moon is now just a rock of nothingness..The stars look surreal. I like the dim lights. I don't want to burst in anger.. I liked it more when u used to buzz me to chat. It all seems to be a bubble of dream.. I shoot the bubble..

Is this my sincere confession?? Or is this my anger burning.. I might bruise you if i meet you...Go away my dear ! I don't want you to see me collapse..

You were the friend who turned into my beloved and turned into jilt ! I surrender here with silence. This silence will follow me forever. I'm blind to love ,I'm deaf to music, for my fate i know is wicked ! I crush my feelings deliberately , softly ..

Gloomy

Those days of the month are back again

Everything i do is just in vain

Cramps Make me feel gloomy

Little silly things increase my agony

Hating him for no reason

Anger turns my face to red crimson

mood swings and the mental breakdown

Few more days i just have to hold on !

Music is no more soothing

Shopping did no healing

Pain Making me a little weepy

Nights are so damn creepy

Curled up in my bed, i know there is no escape

I just wish, these five days i could skip

It feels like its gonna go on and on

Few more days i just have to hold on

He came home pretty proud of me

Shell shocked when he looked at me

I yelled I hate you !

Its all happening cuz of you

But i still love being a girl

I embrace my femininity with a big smile

I know Its the fault of hormone
Few more days i just have to hold on !

Like The Rain I Have Fallen For You ..

I walked holding my gown up in one of my hand and my heels in the other hand.He said "You look beautiful" ! My face showed my expressions before i could even realise that I'm blushing.I threw away my heels and ran into his arms.He closed my eyes with his tender hands and asked me to walk along with him.

As we walked i could feel the cool sand caressing my feet.I could hear the thunder sound of massive waves.He opened my eyes and i stood in front of the sea shore.Me with him and the moonlit beach.I was spellbound at the sight.His presence graced the beauty of the sea.He put his hand on my waist.Never i have felt so safe.

We both stood there watching the sea immovable.Dreamy conversation went on.I could feel his warmth around my body.His manly smell driving me crazy.My madness increasing.He pulled me close to him.Held my hand and we danced to the music of the serene sea.I rest my head on his shoulder.His protection around my waist.

I knew he was the one for me.He slowly moved his soft lips on my cheeks.My heart beating so fast.I moved my face standing on the tip of my toe, pressed my lips gently on his lips.The gentle, passionate kiss was so perfect for the night.The joy in my heart made my face radiant as the moon.We walked along the sea shore, holding each other's hand.The silence fell between us.Our hearts talking to each other.

My love for him is deeper than the ocean,Higher than the sky,more beautiful than the full moon.I was floating on the clouds.Suddenly the thunderstorm brought me down to earth.I wondered did the heaven's plan my romantic night with the moon, sea and the rain all together??

As the rain drops hit the sand,I whispered, i am falling for you just like rain.Kiss in the rain was like tasting the love.We sat down on the wet sand,surrounded by the cool soothing air and dipped in the shower of love.No measure for my happiness.I silently wished the moon would never set, sun would never rise and the night would never end, for i want to live this way whole my life !

Rain ..

Beautiful one which was the real human in me

Standing in front of the mirror i search for inner me

Smile faded, shadow betrayed !

I think of starting everything new,

But end up feeling Blue !

Feelings of heart so blur

Crazy thoughts make a big swirl

Scars hurt deep down

Nothing in my life is my own !

Walking down the lane,

I silently cry , so someone could cure my pain !

The empty bench welcomes me

Sitting there, I wait for someone to hear me !

Black clouds filling the sky,

Birds so freely above fly !

Raindrops falling down

Made it easy for me to mourn!

I wonder is it the drop of rain

Or the teardrop of my pain !

I let the rain drench me like never

I promised to love myself forever !

Water flowing down the streets

Took away all my sins

I Love the rain which washed away all my sadness

I feel like an angel dipped in happiness !

Lost ..

Pain in my heart is unbearable

Sense of Loss is so miserable,

Jumbled thoughts in my head

Unanswered questions in my mind

Walking through the misty passage

Heading nowhere

I search for something

Dim lights, scary long nights my only companions

Tears frozen, Empty Heart

My senses numb, I am lost in my own world !

Irresistible - 24 (Pleasure !)

Pain
turning
into pleasure,
Lying naked
Next to your body,
I melt into nothingness with your tender touch
In a endless night

taking my soul

to heavenly

pleasure !

Love Is In The Air

I smile without a reason.

I sing without the music.

I dance without a song .

You came into my life as a fresh gentle breeze.

Made my life worth living, The world looks more beautiful than ever.

My heart filled with exuberance with your charming love.

You make me fall for you again and again !

Life ..

Sometimes i lose, sometimes i win

Sometimes tears, sometimes smile

Sometimes frustration, sometimes hope

Somethings in life never change,

somethings in life never happen the way i want.

But life taught me to accept things as they are and move on.

Its only one life i get to live, i live it to the fullest !

Graveyard Love

I press my hands against the rusted gates. It swing open to a serene place.

With trembling legs i walk.You are in an eternal sleep. I run my bare fingers on your name engraved on the marble stone.silent tear roll down.

I do not mourn,My Dear! My purpose is just a remembrance.

P.S : Heyaaaa..WL rocks..So damn happy to b a part of d lounge..