DREAMING ATTROCIOUS ATONEMENT

From within the silent shores
comes a screaming call
from a voice well known
An attention captured!

In the stormy night
where thunder roars
A sudden spark lits
The darkness broken!

Recalling my memories
looking back to shadows
That staring broken gaze
A story re-opens!

Some unanswered questions
certain unaccepted answers
two confused blazing eyes
Their sad spark noticed!

Drops of mist, the dew in them
falling upon me through my soul
A dusty wind blows a flash
Some vision fades into illusions!

Retracing the paths of past
falling back I shatter apart
encountering a painful truth!
A mirror witnessed!

I often doubt If I'm worthy
of what I had been blessed of
Confessing to my heart
A Dream concludes half way!

- Pulkit tiwari
(13th march , 01:27)

NOTES - I had always been hesitant to share any visual philosphical poetry at any public meduim right from childhood but have written ample ammount of strange verses, whose actual sense I believe that only I understand! In short they are poetic blunders but some mystifying words and nothing more... this one seems to be just one more like that! :D . mirror metaphor. is the key to this poetic piece actually!

ts a poem based on a dream... where i saw myself... drenched in rain...on a cold night... standing in a lonely foggy street....
suddenly a voice comes and i turn around... i feel i have heard it...i see two eyes in the dark corner of street.... i see sadness in them...i see red tears in them... and then i see that its shinking hard on me,...i go close... and when i reach the end of street...in the end is nothing... but a mirror....
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its was me...those eyes were mine,that voice was mine,that sadnedd was mine... i witnessed a mirror... it was attrocious... which means cruel...as i saw myself in a very sad broken shattered state... it had atonement... which means "pashyataam in hindi", meaning regret.... about something...i become awake and dream breaks....thats the end of poem
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now see the pic again.... in the blog with the poem...ul understand the whole poem

(READ MORE FROM ME - @ POETIC CRIES OF INTERPERSONAL EXPRESSIONS )

The Mid-Night Rain ..

I was curled up in my blanket. Dreaming about something i don't remember. I slowly opened up my eyes. I felt i was in a different world. I could not feel the ground for some reason. I didn't know what time was it. I got out of the bed. It was a beautiful cloudy evening. Standing by the window i watched the sun set down leaving me there all alone.

The cool breeze kissed me. I sipped my hot coffee. The dark clouds grew thicker. I was very happy to see such a weather. I played my favourite music. I stepped into the shower and the hot water touched my body slowly

relaxing my every muscle. The lovely weather and my favourite music added more fun to my bathe. I was lost in the fragrance and was singing loudly. A loud clap of thunderstorm shake me.

I stepped out wrapped in a towel, picked up my favourite lingerie. Dried my hair. Without any reason i was happy inside.I was dancing while i dried my hair. I sprinkled my perfume. The awesome aromatic flavour drew me to some magical land.I slipped in my gown. I left my brown hair open. Rubbed a little lip balm. & Stepped into my black leather heels.

As i walked down the lane, the breeze whispered something in my ear which made me smile. I wanted to know why my heart was so happy and singing so loud inside.I left behind my scent as i walked.The cold wind carried my flavour.I sat on the bench far from the crowd..Waiting to hear the sound of the thunder again. The chilled air was driving me crazy..I looked up at the dark cloudy sky..

I felt like dancing looking at such a beautiful sky with black clouds.. I saw a butterfly on the bench..I felt it was telling me something..I was overjoyed at the sight of a butterfly and the heavenly weather.I was singing out loud not bothered about the world.The drop of a rain touched my lips.I closed my eyes, held my head up high..

I spread my arms wide open like wings of a bird.I felt light inside.I was floating in the air..I was scared my heart might just explode with the extreme happiness.I knew why was i so happy. The droplets started pouring down touching my face. The mid-night rain drenched me..

I realised why was my heart singing out loud.I knew why was i here.I realised how much i missed rain.I shut my eyes gently to listen to the sound of rain.I was immersed in the unseen happiness.I was in a different world.I was held by the magical rain.It washed away my sorrows..It filled my heart with the exuberance.I wanted to grab hold of it and never let it go.

The steamy rain was still pouring down as i walked back with my soaked gown and wet hair.I love rain ,it always listens to my stories, sings to me, pours down when I'm alone, wash away my tears.I walked back with a smile on my face.I wondered whether it's a drop of a tear or a drop of a rain rolling down my cheeks !

He Gave Me A PearL !

It looks like the clouds of sadness is following me,It looks the blues just like me..It looks like the darkness is embracing me..It looks like the moon is laughing at me..It looks like the butterflies no more love me..It looks like the stars doesn't shine on me..There is no shimmer left in me ..The universe looks serene to me..It looks like angels have forgotten me..It looks like god is angry with me..

I asked love for eternity, He said love is my dear, mere mortality ! I delve into my heart for the delusion, ignited love..Now it makes me laugh when i write it all and burn it off !! I sit at the shore, turning my pain into tear ! There came a pretty boy gave me a pearl, cry no more my girl, i'm here ! He gazed into my eyes, I lost at hiz gaze, I got scared, i felt i was deep inside the sea .. I realised he was not my boy , he was an Angel !

He carassed me with his tender fingers, i shivered.. He took me in his arms..I know his heart is filled with love,I know he is immortal, He was shining like a pearl.. He showed me the unseen happiness.. He showed me the heaven..He gently kissed on my lips .. It is not a kiss my darling, for me, it is a bliss.. Now everything looks beautiful to me..

Everything looks worth living..I know the moon is happy for me, Butterflies loves me .. The clouds follow me, coz i love rain .. The angels 've not forgotten me, Coz they sent an Angel for me ! To wipe away my tears, to wash away my fears ..The stars now shine on me..He says they are my gifts to you my beloved, for our wedding..

Someone still embraces me at the dark, But now its not the darkness, its my angel ! No more lonesome nights, No more dim lights .. I know god wasn't angry on me, he was showering his blessings on me all the time..He is my king, i'm his queen, we fly away to the land of heavens..we live happily ever after..

I never want to open my eyes, I want to live the dream..Don't envy my happiness my dear, for you will someday find your Angel !!

The fantasy is lunatic, but i still love it !

PS: Missin WL Bigtime.. Li'l busy.. Wil b bak soon.. Miss u guyz..
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Love,Life,Heartbeats and Cellphone - 1

“My hand reaches out earnestly in these times of confusion.
It dials the number of a familiar and calming voice ...
And gratefully, my lifeline to sanity ... remains intact. “

HIM – hey dear! How is life? ( in a voice choked! )

HER – don't try to hide your restlessness by your ever stupid formal gestures!

What happened?

HIM – nothing!(frustrating manner!)

HER – there surely is something!

HIM – how can you be so sure?

HER – because you are pressing a bit too hard on “nothing!”.....

( a long pause.... )

HER – hello???? you there???

HIM – yeah!

HER – what happened? Not getting my voice or what???

HIM – was just thinking how good you know me....

HER – (voices of whispering smiles... !!)

HIM – what was funny?

HER – your talks are so very cute even when you are feeling low!

HIM – will call you back... bye! Not feeling well today...(aggressively!)

HER – wait! What happened???

HER – hello????

(dial tone ... too too too... fades away).....

(TO BE CONTINUED...)

******************************************************************************

Thanks a ton to pink orchid for inspiring me with "Him and Her" posts! as well as the advices during the decision making process for selecting the title for this series that I started on my blog ( @ CROSS POSTED - POETIC CRIES OF INTERPERSONAL EXPRESSIONS )

If Only ...

I saw his shadow in my dream. I tried to catch him up. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to touch his lips with mine !!

His mesmerising smile melts my heart ! This isn't the first time i tried catching him in my wildest dreams. He is in my dreams almost every time i fall asleep.
I wonder is this really love?? Or just my desire to hold him. Or is this lust?? Is it turning into longing ??

He haunt my memories. I get angry. He doesn't give a damn. He doesn't even care for my existence. A virgin me, A fucker you. I hate you more than any one !!
I know he never even said hello from his heart. I want to delete him from my memories. But the more i try, bloody the more he haunts .

Is dream a fool's paradise??Is dream a fiction?? It might be, for its the only way to see him. I'm tryin to walk away and laugh it off . Nothing feels good now. He never said he loves me. But i assumed he liked me. I gaze at his pic for hours.why don't you take off that pic of yours you bugger !

I hate to sit alone in the dark. I wonder why my eyes are wet. I never wanted to end up writing about him in this way. I always wanted to see him in my dreams..

I never wanted to give it a chance to forget him, no matter if nothin feels good ..

If only, he loved me back, as madly as i did .
If only, he knew how much i love him..

I don't want to sleep at the ugly nights any more. The full moon is now just a rock of nothingness..The stars look surreal. I like the dim lights. I don't want to burst in anger.. I liked it more when u used to buzz me to chat. It all seems to be a bubble of dream.. I shoot the bubble..

Is this my sincere confession?? Or is this my anger burning.. I might bruise you if i meet you...Go away my dear ! I don't want you to see me collapse..

You were the friend who turned into my beloved and turned into jilt ! I surrender here with silence. This silence will follow me forever. I'm blind to love ,I'm deaf to music, for my fate i know is wicked ! I crush my feelings deliberately , softly ..

WAIT FOR YOUR NEXT SHOT! MISSED OPPORTUNITY IS NOT THE END!

life is too short to spend time in grief for the opportunities that you miss, for the goals that you fail to score, for the sixes that you miss hitting at the right moment. This is a bigger game than what you think it to be.

Have you ever seen a football match, the striker while running with the ball towards the goal post is simultaneously concentrating on his ball possession, the defenders approaching him or running with him and has one eye on where the goalkeeper is placed, he has to finish the ball in the back of the net and hence he too has to keep in mind the directions in accordance with the corners of the goal post. He runs and sweats, he kicks the ball with utmost accuracy that he can but not always he scores a goal, at times he gets the shot saved by goalkeeper and many times he misses the goal totally with a poor direction kick! This is it! Shot is missed! What happens next? He stops! NO! He makes a “what the hell!” expression on his face, then watches the ball again and runs back towards the center of field with even greater effort. Back to the wait for the same run again. Again waiting for his next shot!

This is how life is! The winners always focus on the very next opportunity coming their ways while losers spend ages talking about where they missed it! Regretting and crying! I just want to ask how worth is it? I mean you scored a zero in a cricket innings, there is always a next match! You fail in an examination, then too you will give some other one, some other time, the game is not over, you still have your next shot awaiting. It is how you approach towards your next shot that makes a difference.

One can say that i am foolishly optimistic but i guess somewhere down the line Japanese too would have thought that way after the atomic bomb blasts to make a tremendous comeback. One can never be a loser or a winner in eternity, winning is nothing but actually the habit of staying focused at every next shot of yours, and losing is mostly missing the first shot and then due to its sadness, missing the remaining ones that follow.

Patience is the name of the game! If its summers, winters are not behind. After every day there is a night. You missed your train, some other will follow. You dropped a catch, there will be another one in the air soon. You forgot to do something, do it punctually the next time. All winners learn from their own mistakes, they always make the next shot right even if they miss the previous one! They very well know that after you think everything is over, tomorrow is yet to come! Hit the bull's eye this time! This is your shot!

regards
PULKIT

(More of Such articles ... )
(PS : - CROSS POSTED - POETIC CRIES OF INTERPERSONEL EXPRESSIONS)(FOLLOW -ME)

That picture of happiness

There was a picture in my mind,

I named her happiness

I'm in that picture today,

but I can't find happiness

There is a new picture now,

called happiness

I do not reconginze,

when I see happiness

Because I know her only,

by that picture named happiness

I also write @ the world round me

Like The Rain I Have Fallen For You ..

I walked holding my gown up in one of my hand and my heels in the other hand.He said "You look beautiful" ! My face showed my expressions before i could even realise that I'm blushing.I threw away my heels and ran into his arms.He closed my eyes with his tender hands and asked me to walk along with him.

As we walked i could feel the cool sand caressing my feet.I could hear the thunder sound of massive waves.He opened my eyes and i stood in front of the sea shore.Me with him and the moonlit beach.I was spellbound at the sight.His presence graced the beauty of the sea.He put his hand on my waist.Never i have felt so safe.

We both stood there watching the sea immovable.Dreamy conversation went on.I could feel his warmth around my body.His manly smell driving me crazy.My madness increasing.He pulled me close to him.Held my hand and we danced to the music of the serene sea.I rest my head on his shoulder.His protection around my waist.

I knew he was the one for me.He slowly moved his soft lips on my cheeks.My heart beating so fast.I moved my face standing on the tip of my toe, pressed my lips gently on his lips.The gentle, passionate kiss was so perfect for the night.The joy in my heart made my face radiant as the moon.We walked along the sea shore, holding each other's hand.The silence fell between us.Our hearts talking to each other.

My love for him is deeper than the ocean,Higher than the sky,more beautiful than the full moon.I was floating on the clouds.Suddenly the thunderstorm brought me down to earth.I wondered did the heaven's plan my romantic night with the moon, sea and the rain all together??

As the rain drops hit the sand,I whispered, i am falling for you just like rain.Kiss in the rain was like tasting the love.We sat down on the wet sand,surrounded by the cool soothing air and dipped in the shower of love.No measure for my happiness.I silently wished the moon would never set, sun would never rise and the night would never end, for i want to live this way whole my life !

Homely Virtues

The Beauty of Home

is Cleanliness

The Honour of Home

is Friendliness

The blessings of Home

is Godliness

The Richness of Home

is cheerfullness

~ i took this wordings from a image hung over in my grandma's house, it seems its been there for an enternity, i never gave a second thought to it, until now. It was hung in the entrance-portico of the house, when it was newly built by my grandfather .

The wordings are apt and richly presents an ideal picture of a loving and caring spiritual home. The image was beautifully decorated with angels and flowers as a frame, surrounding the words. Here it is simple though very powerfull in meaning :)  A pick from my blog C m U