Showing posts with label Feelings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Feelings. Show all posts

July 9, 2010

V_3.0

Endless misery.
Tranquility lost.
Burdened by the thoughts of luxury.
It haunts.
Haunts and scares.

But some run the scare house.
They run the misery factory across the borders.
Fascist nations setting new order.
Fight a war to prove to them,
That you are stronger,
That you can survive.

You can learn better,
In a refugee camp, than in a school.
You can rise,
If you got metals shoes.

They'll hurt and punch and kill you.
Till you are dead. Dead inside.
And they'll tell you that it was all for you.
Squeeze the last drop from your eyes.

Survival?
The next best excuse.
Printed in grey all over the news.
You don't know the names that fight for you.
Neither do they know you.

Stones and sticks make for bread and butter.
Thoughts are hidden. They cant be uttered.
The machines make you go back to sleep.
Till one day,
You become your own nightmare.
Force you to open a disease shop.
And fake factories that scare.



December 28, 2009

Miss You !!


Thoughts which are going through their mind...


He : Why do you still visit my profile?? Whenever i tried to forget u...your name on my recent visitor reminds me about u n you know what deep inside my heart it hurts....it hurts when i saw your status message for any other...it hurts when i don't look my profile in your friend list...it hurts when i read my testimonial which i wrote for you a month back when we were really great friends...but apart from that it hurts more when i saw your name but not any message or a single scrap...what does it all mean?? You still cares about me...you still think about me...you still want to know how I am??


She : I miss you my friend...i want all those days back when we used to chat and had a great time...when we used to fight with each other...the days when I cares for you a lot...But now things has changed...You and I are no longer Friends...But I can't help myself for visiting your profile once in a while....Ya, I still care about you... can't even forget you...because you was the one who always makes me smile...can't we become the same good Friends again....is it important to be committed?? Is it important to having a love relationship...I hate this Love because of which I have lost my sweet friend..Dear Friend, I miss you but I miss my own smile more....




November 7, 2009

In need of Serendipity...

Align Center

Celestial Soul,yours,
am blessed with,thou,

Within,fragment each,
is known your existence,
Without any piece of evidence,

Abiding in my heart,

absorbed deeply, in each of my breath,

resting within me,for

eternity with peace..

Despite,entangling in spirit,single,

I need to plea in petition,

You,the Creator of my
Karma,
Owner of my actions,
Sealed my fate,

Concealed my destiny,

I
obeyed each of your conduct,
Ranting,I'm in a hope,

Burning in the fire of
wither,
Craving for that
serendipitous moment,
will it ever happen to me,
will there be an end to my wait..
Oh..Mighty, lip to my woe,

tangled u, with sigh of my breaths..

Today,I Solicit you to,
Free me from my Karmas,
Take me into your spiritualism,
Obey,I will your Dharma,
Wipe off all my wither and worries,
Abate all my desires and woes,
Serendipity yours,I awe with a bow..!!!



October 27, 2009

तनहा सफर..!!!



तनहा सा यह सफर है ,
जाने कहाँ इसकी डगर है
भीड़ में भी तन्हाई का अहसास है,
खुशियों में भी गम की आस है,
जिंदगी की इस राह में केवल तन्हाई ही तो पास है॥
तनहा दिल यह पूछ रहा ,
जाने किस कशमकश से जूझ रहा॥
ये दिलेदास्तान कैसे करूं बयान ,
तनहा मैं और तनहा मेरी ज़ुबां ...!!!

July 12, 2009

Devoid of inspiration


It's a familiar tune, The breaking of the heart. Like longing for the moon, Too far. Too hard..... Happiness is fleeting, Moments of reprieve. The hardest part is knowing, Sadness. Far from brief..... You smile and I laugh, And you are yet unknowing. Another facade, another bluff, Once more you are falling. Your smile spells despair, My laughter rings of sorrow. Bleakness is all but rare, When the heart is hollow.......

Yes it's true, I'm devoid of inspiration; now even the words no longer flow.....



Check out my blogs for more:

July 9, 2009

Charcoal Sweat

The candle burns throughout the night,
The dark background highlights the smoke,
and then engulfs it in itself,
as if my thoughts made a gentle stroke.

The effigy burns, everyday,
Protest, sorrow, expectations, frustration,
all these things shine brightly in this fire,
and after a while, go down without liberation.

A paper burns, and with it, burns the ink,
Slow and steady, glows so bright,
Dies down slowly, partially burnt,
The wind carries it with all its might.

A heart burns, rough and sorrowful,
coz of a giant tide that swept happiness away,
The mind consoles the spirit within,
that the burnt portion will heal someday.

_Love and Peace

May 10, 2009

Not just another pretty girl...

She left the place where we were gathered...

"Look who's got a crush on his best friend's girl friend...." one of my friends teased....
"what..?? i don't"  I  lied...
"You couldn't take your eyes off her...and you were laughing your ass off for her stupid jokes..."
"Its just that she's damn attractive....and her jokes were good.."
"dude ...you were laughing when she said 'It is a great evening...'that my friend is the blindness of L-O-V-E..."

My friends couldn't stop mocking....I didn't stop lying...

Days passed....Me and my friends went for that food fest....It was grand...
She was there....with her friends...looking stunning and pale...with a cute smile all over her face...I couldn't stop seeing her...
I tried to distract myself...I tried to ignore her...But just her presence in the same room i was in  disturbed my perceptions...

I went for the drinks section...A friend of mine asked me to pick up a drink for him too...I didn't even look in the direction she was in...I picked two glasses of some weird looking red drink...I didn't mind....I wanted to get out of that section...

Don't know why i did that...but i gave a quick glance at her...she was waving her hand and smiling...I pretended not to notice her and started rushing towards my friends....
It was then my inner self started confusing me...

"Dude...You are the rudest son of the bitch on the planet"
"I wasn't being rude...I just pretended like not seeing her"
"Ha ha...Like she doesn't know your eyes were all over her.."
"Just shut up...I don't even know whether she was waving towards me.."
"Man..he is your best friend...and he loves her very much...you cant go on pretending...atleast try behave normal around her"

This got me in a disarray....Shit he is my best pal....I mustn't let this go on...
"OK..you win...I'll go there n say a quick Hi...n leave.."

My eyes searched for her....She was getting near the exit...kinda looking sad...
"Am i just imagining things..??"
"May be , May be not...only one way to be sure..just a Hi wont hurt you." my inner self

I hurried through the crowd towards the exit...pushing,shoving myself...I got near her...I think i heard some guy calling out my name...I didn't turn...I was gonna turn up in front of her...Just then a man with a sharp moustache bumped into me...oops and shit...I forgot all about the drinks in my hand....It splashed all over me...that weird looking red drink...over my white shirt...kinda smelt funny too...

She looked back....n started smiling...
"You are Arun right...??"
"Yeah...one of his friends..."
"You okay now...??"
"Yeah..Hmm...kinda...leaving already??"
"Yeah..Gotta go with friends...Bye.."
"Bye"....

I could hear her giggling...
"Shit i must never have listened to you"
"Atleast now we know that she didn't wave towards you..." my inner self...
"Get lost.."

I went near the place where my friends were standing....
Suddenly they burst into a fit of laughter.....

"And You said you didn't have a crush on her..."
and the mockery started....

April 14, 2009

Wish i had a gun........

I pick up a pencil to write my head out,
not getting any ideas, i keep it down.

I search through my thoughts for a possible stanza,
not getting any phrase, i shut my mind.

I work hard all night and all day long,
my hard work isn't acknowledged, i stop it forever.

I make efforts to regain their trust and compassion,
they remain superficial, i loose interest.

I try and talk to you, try and match up to you,
you think im being foolish, i prefer staying shut.

You take my heart away, without even knowing it,
but your heart is with someone else, i step back without showing it.

I try one last time to make my life organized,
Life said, i could do so, for once i understood.

April 10, 2009

And the nostalgia sets in!


This one goes for a former friend, who somehow,din't make it to my present and would never be allowed to pry into my future. This one's for you, Smriti!



Sieving your face in the crowd,
I seem loosing control
over my senses,
and the nostalgia sets in!
Moments of those celebrated times,
take control of my mind,
rekindling the ashes of
the leftover love and hatred.
Life seems witty,
throwing one of its
filthy challenges at me.
It shatters my heart to
accept your hatred coated abuses,
killing me over and over again,
with intensifying anger and pain.
May be, in a corner of my heart,
I still long for
mutual love and peace,
nurturing dwindling hopes of,
reliving those unforgettable times,
when time had almost
lost count and become one with us.
May be I still wish to
bury the mutual differences
and move one step ahead,
call out for you,
with a clear heart,
and open arms,
and embrace you in a tight hug.
May be ,its just a dream,
that might never come true,
leaving behind a trail of,
wounded memories and unfulfilled desires,
leaving me in the lurch,
the mercy of dwindling hopes,
till the time,
I again sieve your face in the crowd,
loose control over my senses,
and let the Nostalgia set in!

March 7, 2009

Melody of my life...




Hi friends....well this is my first post to this blog...
i wrote this poem back in 2007...hope you like it.....


I catch the hold of my delicate strings

Strike them and try to forget my sins

These strings unweave the hurt below

It slowly loosens the hurt once known



Rhythm of these strings along with my music flow

Like water drops down green leaves they go

They strike a chord deep into my heart

The chord which fills up my ache at last



The music fills my empty ground

Like sand into a pit dug out

Dug out by those filthy hands

With the harshest strike like sharp knives

Into the soft sands in which died many lives



The music flows like the soft sand

Deep down, away from those filthy hands

From minds of wicked people who try

To make me cry till my mind goes dry



Yet again these strings move

They strike a chord and change my mood

These pits are filled with minds not dry

And I tell myself-"No need to cry"



"The sand will come, the sand will go

Desperate hands will dig at you

But you have to be as soft as sands

So that you can flow deep with music

Away from those filthy hands"


ORIGINALLY POSTED AT RITWIK IN SEARCH

March 5, 2009

v_0.1

A little bit of migraine here and there,
thoughts vibrate when i hit this snare,
the windows jam, seize, don't function,
black windows define dysfunction.

You see the apple on the tree,
offer it to me, very gently,
i ask you, is it poisoned?
and you, being selfless, taste it for me.

The mist on the mirror makes you forget,
that once upon a time, you were a reject,
and you, put the mirror first,
but its the mist, whom you should trust.

You take out my mind and keep it in your pocket,
hypnotize me with the times locket,
the darkness then opens my mind,
and this poem is what you find.

_Andy

_09-05-03

March 1, 2009

Whirlpool

I am like a drop, drowning in a whirlpool,
but i can do nothing about it.
I cant stop the flow of water,
still i worry and worry about it.

I wish i were like a drop, drowning in a whirlpool,
and do nothing about it,
just watch myself go with the flow,
Still be happy and loose it all,
I wish i could just give it all.

February 7, 2009

escapism



There is this feeling
for a really long time
can't shake it off
or stop thinking about.
Wondering what is happening
why is Life so demanding
or do we make it so

Shuddering at the very thought
facing the dilemma of what is ought.
Like a mad man down the road
running helter skelter
are our wrecked thoughts
good or bad, laziness creeps.

Inept are we
in our action and words,
always on the verge of lies
shillyshallying obligations
unto us and others
making mockery of all

the inclination to escape
present realities
into our own world 
of imaginations and fantasies
to assuage our thoughts
is everpresent as ever

Is the notion due
to pure haziness
on our part.
Is shying away
from responsibilities 
show the right
sensibilities





es·cap·ism 
n.
The tendency to escape from daily reality or routine by indulging in daydreaming, fantasy, or entertainment.

January 3, 2009

A Silhouette

I wrote this one for my dear dear friend Priyanka.(not the one on this blog)

A Silhouette

I saw a silhouette,
A silhouette, so perfect,
With a neat outline,
Looking so fine.

I switched on the lights this time,
Just to find it was you,
It was you but not alone,
Carrying a basket of fresh flowers.

You gave the basket to me,
Told me to look after it, tenderly,
I have taken care, till this day,
As i promised, the flowers would stay.

And now that you plan to leave,
I know the feeling is not so pure,
I know you'll miss me and I'll too,
This one thing will be for sure.

I wont tell you not to go,
But this much i will tell you,
You have taken care of me,
and because of this i care for you!

December 6, 2008

XYZ

I didnt know what to name this, its presently named the XYZ. If you can think of a better name, and i think you can, please suggest it to me. Here's how it goes:

XYZ

My distorted reflection on these wet tiles,
when i wake up in the morning, with my lonely aisle,
is the only thing that hears me,
and laughs at me,
points at me,
turns down a part of the shaft in me,
burdens me, points at my disgrace,
and all this while, i couldn't hide my face,
as water evaporates on a sunny day,
my mind escapes my body in a funny way,
coz its found a solution outta this maze,
but cant progress, coz it cant see thru this haze.

December 2, 2008

This Graffiti

This Graffiti

My life, is like a graffiti,
A large graffiti on the wall,
Everything shaped so perfect,
Yet you don't understand it all.

The black and white always run back,
And all this time i thought i was loosing,
They mix and match to form a grey,
And still you say you cant help me choosing.

Red has always been a bit innocent,
Gives me strength, teaches me the way,
But white and black mix and make it lonely,
Kill it and serve it out on a tray.

Green and blue, drive me mad,
Combine and give a cool resolution,
This coldness increases day by day,
Till the time i cant see any solution.

Yellow combines every bit,
Every piece of this drama,
Puts me into a sad trance,
Helps me out of this trauma.

At the end of the day, when i finish the spray,
I splash a can, on my useless graffiti,
And when it all subsides down, i hear,
Every color, and every line, mocking me.

_Andy

_08-12-02

November 22, 2008

The Large Black Spot

My first print on this blog, please respect it. Thank you.


The Large Black Spot


Sometimes I feel stuck,
Between every thought,
Behind every laughter,
A large black spot

The stencil of this masque,
Has been shaped so perfect,
Despite being deceived,
I grow more allergic

All these beautiful faces,
Don’t give me wings,
I generate more sorrow,
Instead of sweet things

Don’t plaster me, inside these wall,
These walls that u made, with your own thoughts,
On these walls, you’ll find my name,
On these walls, a large black spot.

_ANDY

_2008-11-22

November 14, 2008

I lie awake but try so hard not to think of u

Dad pulled over the market. The only market where you can expect everyone to be. You can even expect your lost friends to be there. Dad asked me to stay in the car as he left to get something to eat. I was getting bored. Rihanna was singing "We Ride". It was too groovy for me at that time. I looked out from the car to catch a glimpse of dad. He wasn't in sight. I stepped out, rested by the car and searched through the school people. I found him, finally!! He was pretty busy eating momos with one of his surgeon buddies. The song had finished. "What do I do now?" I thought. There was a fight going on in my mind!! I wanted to go to dad and tell him that we should move, but I was getting vibes that I would definitely find someone who would disturb me further. After a couple of minutes, I put the CD to halt, locked the car and walked towards the market. Nobody noticed me. Reason?? Well, I'm just another girl trying to find peace in here!! I greeted dad's buddy, took a bite from dad's momo and turned in the opposite direction.
Right there, I saw someone. Within a flash of light, my eyes poured tears. A tall, lean guy in a black tee and jeans stood there with someone. The same body language. And the same black tee-shirt...my favorite...I pretty quickly put the hood on my head to hide my face from him and everyone around me. The guy was far off and I could only see his side profile. As usual, he was lost in his thoughts. Carefree about whats going on around him. Dad was still busy with his buddy. He was laughing and I was right beside him, weeping. The guy could never had seen me. Never!! Because I didn't want him to see me.

As I kept looking at him from the distance, all the nostalgic moments flashed in front of my eyes. A movie started rolling. All the amusement park tickets...all the Baskin Robbins ice creams...those long drives...all of them felt so old yet so recent. I had my palms on my mouth as I walked through the crowd. I wanted to meet him. But at the same time, I didn't want dad to see me going towards him. I reached the place where he was. I stood right behind him. Just wanted to smell his perfume. The same Axe smell!! He hasn't changed even a bit. I looked at his tee shirt. As always...Adidas. His favorite brand!! He had the same ear ring. I wanted to reach out to him..call him...touch his steady arm which had always been there to hold me...hug him, for, he had been so far off...but it's only life!!! I turned back soon after realizing that he was busy. I suddenly recalled that I had to go back to dad. I had just sneaked away from him. Dad saw me coming. He had a frown on his forehead...obviously, he didn't like watching me struggling with my decisions. Dad said, "It isn't getting late now???" I didn't say anything. I just thought, "I wish mom was here. She knows!! I wish she was here..." Dad asked me to get in the car. He had to bid goodbye to his buddy. I still had my hood on my head. After so long, I had dressed like myself. The way I used to dress ever since I had started shopping for myself. Though it was pretty cold, I was in my favorite white shorts. But the hood helped me a lot. It hid all the tears cascading down my cheeks.

The guy was still visible. He was still lost in his thoughts. I was lost in thoughts as well!! I recalled all the days we spent together. Not that we're separate. But it has changed ever since my parents split. I live far off and he deosn't know about that. No one does. He suddenly turned towards my car and I hid my face with my jersey's sleeves. He didn't notice me...Thank God...He went inside the market to get himself momos. I can bet on that. Its his favorite in the market. And specially that market. I switched on the stereo to listen to Amy Lee. She was the only one who could stop me from crying. She sang ..."I long to be like you...Lie cold in the ground like you...." I rested my heavy head on the seat and closed my eyes. Dad entered, I didn't open my eyes. He didn't say anything till we reached the mall. He lowered the volume and said, "Lets get your Evanescence album." I looked at him with drowsy eyes and replied, "Which one?? I've got all of them. Besides, I don't listen to the CD player, anymore." "Oh!! No problem. I'm sure you would want another iPod" he said, trying very hard to cheer me up. I replied, "Dad, I don't need another iPod. But if you wanna go to the mall, I'll accompany you. You don't need to look for excuses. You wanted to have a look at that handycam, right??" So after parking the car, both of us were standing in the showroom. He was talking to the attendent about the price and everything, and I was listening to one of the songs in their collection...."Why do all good things come to an end"... Dad must have noticed my choice of song. He looked at me from the billing counter and gave me a smile. He was happy to buy a new handycam for himself. All kept going in my mind was...the guy in the black tee shirt wearing Axe. We got back in the car after roaming like animals for two hours. Dad made my film from his newly bought love as I drove back to home. But I just couldn't get the smell out of my senses. I covered the thirty minute drive in just twelve minutes....Dad took the car keys from me, told me he had a surgery waiting for him in the hospital and left. I cooked noodles for myself and cried myself to sleep....

August 26, 2008

Love or Infatuation???



As I don know wt love is so I cant cum out with deeper meanings,bt till now wt life has taught me by knowing various incidences I feel tat love is left far behind, its just infatuation which has strengthen his position in today's world. These days relationships r on fake terms r v can say temporary basis tat is have a crush on somebody fr a sometime ,use that person n just finished it off…which is often termed as infatuation at the end.

The most easiest part is to get in to these kinds f relationships but must difficult part is to deal with d consequences of such relationships, People once heart broken,becomes too hard,cold,,there perspective changes n be cum numb. N wen this situation arises d situation f depression takes his seat..which is dangerous.

If we see are environment,every then n now r friend's comes up with d prob tat ,v broke off,,n v r upset ,tat person did this n all..n v give them a simple advice of move onn,,n v flash sum beautiful dialogues n finally v r done with d,,formality of being friend's ,,n v feel tat its sufficient,,v r done with r job..

But d person who's suffering knows,,how it feels wen heart breaks,,n how long time will b taken to recover frm such a brutal hurt,. N at tat time person feels there's no love only pain n whatever was it it ws a mistake ,,a infatuation.

Here also persons thinkin does'nt end up,,he started gettin pulled off from relationships..,starts makin boundaries n at d end love theory is vanished n rude,selfish world theory is activated.

I know there would be people who r in serious relationships, n they must have a strong believe in this love part n I really wish loads f good look fr there future n God Bless them with same love n tender care in tere relationships, but tese days majority is f heart broken people n its increasing day by day an finally it is resulting in creating a mind set f infatuation n hatred among people..n discouraging people to get into any kind f relationships.. which will,, at d end not result in a healthy outcome..

So we people should be bit genuine fr others n help them not to form such opinions by takin a a very first step from ourself only tat if v genuinely like sum1,,ten only v should approach tat person to get into any relationships n should try n carry out it till d end with full trust,loyalty,care n a genuine love..:-) so v can have a better world tomorrow n healthy perspectives tomorrow.:-).

Note:This post was originally posted by me to one of my dear friend's personal Blog, My Musings than to my personal blogUnpredictable life n now here:-)

August 25, 2008

What changed you???

You know I care for you,
You know am somewhere dependent on you,
You know I count you in one of the special persons in my life,

But suddenly what happened??

Y u doing this,
What changed you soo much!??
That now u don't even show your concerns,ur friendly love...
U were never so inexpressive ,wt changed you suddenly,
what??

Is time has changed you soo much that u forget me??
Is new people around you have become soo important that u r wid tem all the time n don't get time for me,
or
Life has become
soo busy that u r soo occupied that u don't even get a time to ring me n ask, hw r you dear friend???

If its all because something is bothering you, than share with me,
il
ease u,ill make you feel happy,
il make you realise hw important you r to world, to me,
il
make you feel gud..

But,please break this Silence,it sometimes, makes me uncomfortable,
this dry,rough behavior upsets me...
U were never like this...

What happened,wt changed you so much ???

Note: This post ws originally posted In my Personal Blog,Unpredictable life.