Wish i had a gun........

I pick up a pencil to write my head out,
not getting any ideas, i keep it down.

I search through my thoughts for a possible stanza,
not getting any phrase, i shut my mind.

I work hard all night and all day long,
my hard work isn't acknowledged, i stop it forever.

I make efforts to regain their trust and compassion,
they remain superficial, i loose interest.

I try and talk to you, try and match up to you,
you think im being foolish, i prefer staying shut.

You take my heart away, without even knowing it,
but your heart is with someone else, i step back without showing it.

I try one last time to make my life organized,
Life said, i could do so, for once i understood.