I am sorry, I lied to you !

Sorry I lied ,

Lied a million times to you.

Hiding the pain and just ,

Smiling in-front of you !

You asked me,

"What's wrong?",

I wanted to scream,

"Everything",

But I lied,

"All's good".

You asked me,

"Did anything happened today?"

I lied,

"No nothing"

"Everything is fine"

You asked me,

"Are you crying?"

I lied,

"No, why would I cry"

"I am happy"

You asked me,

"How was your day?"

I wanted to tell you

All the shit that had happened that day,

But I lied,

"My day was just usual,

like everyday "

You asked me,

"What did you do the whole day?"

I wanted to cry,

Like I had been crying

That whole day,

But I lied,

"I did some home stuff and studies"

I know you knew something was wrong,

I know you knew that I was in pain,

I know you knew that I was lying,

I know you might be hurt after reading this,

But I had to lie.

Lie beacause

You were entering a new phase of your life,

Phase for which you had toiled so much.

I just had no right to snatch that happiness from you,

To deprive you of the smiles you deserved.

I didn't want to loathe you with my depression,

I just couldn't be so selfish.

Hence,

I lied.

I know you would have been there

when I  cried,

When I was depressed.

But I didn't want to

sadden you by my sorrow tales.

I wanted you to be happy,

And believe

That I was happy too.

Because

Seeing you happy,

Somewhere made me happy too !

Hence

I am confessing it today,

Right here,

In-front of you.

That

I am Sorry,

Sorry,

That I lied to you !

[ She was going through a bad time, but never did she let her friend know that, with whom she used to chat daily via text messages,  as he was shifting from her city to a metro city for his first job. ]  
Smita
http://smitasdesk.blogspot.com/

5 hard ways to leave

Out the window,

one boot on,

your pants unbuttoned,

your hand in one boot.

Lucky is the stinking metal

of a dumpster banging against your ass.

Through the door,

leave nothing behind.

Nod to her boyfriend,

surrender his girlfriend.

Penance is cold after-hours

when buses don’t run

and your cell-phone is dead.

Up the stairs,

perfume and smoke.

Your hands in leather gloves,

your heart out on her street.

Murder is a humid conversation

in a bright room

with your stone mind.

In the car,

turn down the stereo,

turn off the ignition,

open the door, “Get out.”

Justice is crawling through bushes

for keys she threw

farther than she was thrown.

But the hardest

will be with you.

We haven’t met.

I’m sorry I’ll be mean.

Leaving is appraising

all you’ve stored up,

then choosing which to save

from your slowly burning room.

photo:http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3291/2408380913_d4c89af7d1.jpg

A Simple Sorry!

As she perched beside the window, she was in an unusual pensive self.

The alluring moon further enticed her into the vivid memories of the past.

“I am Sorry”, was all she remembered now of that moonlit night.

And she wondered can a simple S-O-R-R-Y really heal all wounds!

A healing or a hurting word!

Prompted and Submitted@3WW

P.S. This is also my first attempt at fiction 55 as well 3WW. So i m looking forward to genuine comments which would be helpful.

Crossposted@My Personal Blog

Wordless Conversation

It was early in the morning
Was a foggy kind of a morning
when our eyes met.

"Why are we doing this?” she asked
“May be because we have to!”
“Why do we have to?”
I didn’t have an answer.

She looked at me again
"Why can’t I wear what you are wearing?”
“You will dear, one day definitely :)”
“But why not now, she retorted”
Again, I had no answer.

She had her eyes fixed on me now
“Your bag seems so light”
“Yes it is! In fact it has nothing :P”
“Why is mine so heavy, it hurts my shoulders”
I was searching for an answer.

"Teacher scolds me everyday, do you get scolded?"

"Yeah, for not sitting lectures"… :P"

But we don’t do that and still get scolded, even get beaten sometimes.... why does that happen?"

My answers were beginning to dry up.

“I haven’t done my homework, Have you?”

“Heh! We don’t get any homework dear!”

“Why do we do then …that too in heaps?”

I finally took my eyes away.

After a few seconds I gazed at her and gave a little smile

“Look at you, why are you smiling now?”

“No, Nothing to do with you girl.”

“Why do you think I am not?”

I guess, I knew her answer.

Her School bus arrived and her mom bid her goodbye. She still had a frown on her face. I was left stranded alone waiting for my bus.

P.S: Inspired by a cute lil’ girl in her school uniform staring at me from a distance early in the morning when we both were waiting for our bus. Instantly this came to mind :D.... She had such an “Ohh I don’t want to go to school mommy” kind of an expression that I almost felt sorry for her :(

I'm Sorry

Why do we end up giving explainations or entertaining people whom we should not ?? Why do people who care for us instead get to hear harsh words ?? Sometimes things just don't go right... Without reason and realization, we end up hurting our friends and family...

I know its waste to regret later.Apologies do not mend everything.And this will burden you more than the person hurt... Atleast its another memory i will wish to not just erase but to re write...



Stay silent,stay calm,
that's how you can remain
out of any verbal harm.

I do not talk of hurting you
but more for the people around,
people who care and love you too.

Harsh words and accusations,
never let you rest in peace
even if it is a true allegation.

But if you have crossed this line,
be humble enough to accept faults,
there is no harm if you apologise.

and for the people ever hurt by me,
trust me i never intended that,so
let me extend my heartfelt aologies..