Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

December 3, 2016

|| शरारत ||

कद ६ फुट 
सीना ५६ इंच
उम्र २६ साल ९५ दिन


इसको  छेड़ दूँ
उसको  छेड़ दूँ
पूरी दुनियां छेड़ दूँ  ।


आँखों में शरारत
दिल में बेचैनी
दिमाग सोच में
क्या कैसे किसको कब छेड़ू !


हर समय चलता एक विचार
किसको बनाऊ अगला शिकार
कौन है मेरा सानी यहाँ
एक ही हुआ है मुझसा यहाँ !


सबको हँसाने का है ज़िम्मा मेरा
सच बोलके या झूठ
कौन करे इसकी परवाह ।


कोई हँसता
और कोई रुठ जाता
कोशिश में इसकी
कभी कभी हू मैं  हार जाता ।


पर कोशिश नहीं छूटेगी
एक दिन ये दुनिया याद करेगी
वो जो हँसाता भी था
और साथ में मारता भी था ।


October 16, 2011

Tacky Imprints !!

Sob Sob.
"Why Aniket? Why?", teacher asked furiously.
"Why did you hit Rahul?", but came no reply. 
She dismissed both of them from the class for that hour.

( Next day )
Sob Sob.
"Mam, he again bullied me.", Rahul said crying.
"Aniket", teacher shouted at top of her voice.
"I warned you yesterday not to repeat this again na?", and she tried threatening him not to do that again.
They both were again dismissed for the hour.

( Next Day )
"Aniket!!!!", even today Rahul complained being beaten by him.
"Why do you have to hit Rahul everyday? How many times do I have to tell you not to do that? This is too much now."
The teacher was in a fix now what to do. It was becoming a daily nuisance for her now. Everyday she warned them both but one could clearly see that it had no impact.
She was unable to make out the reason for such beatings between both of them. As they literally had no issue of rift between them for such violence to take place daily.
Transfixed, she ordered Aniket,"Alright, ask your Father to meet me tomorrow during school hours positively".
She had thought that this might be enough to surface some fear on his face but the person who did get scared off was Rahul and not Aniket.
Today even he stood there, cool and calm, listening to the scoldings of the teacher .
( Next Day )
( In the Staff Room )
"Good Afternoon Madam.", said a husky voice.
The teacher looked up from the copies she was correcting to see Aniket's Father standing along with him.
"Yea, Sir. Please have a seat. The reason I called you for is, your son has a daily activity which is really annoying".
"Everyday in the recess time, he has to slap Rahul. Sir, I want you to ask your son the reason for such violent act as I have already tried my best to discover the reason but have always failed."
"I can't let this happen anymore because his parents are complaining to me every then and now to take serious actions against your son, so if please you could make him understand that whatever he is doing is just not done.", teacher completed the whole drama story in one go.
"Why did you slap Rahul?", now the interrogator was his Father, so keeping quiet seemed to be a bad idea.
He tried answering but words just won't come out.
"Answer me, why did you hit Rahul ?", this time a more threatening voice was heard in the staff room.
For a moment even the teacher got scared, but then came the reply.
"I love to see the imprints of all my fingers on his face after slapping him", came the innocent reply.

June 27, 2011

What's on your mind ?


Entering Username : *******@gmail.com    
Verifying password : *******
And I logged
into my Facebook account

1 poke,15 notifications,
10 new friend requests
and some 300+ recent updates.


Click click click
comment crap crap crap
And to exacerbate the tiredness
Popped up some serious crap.
 
My ex had made an update.
with his status going from
being "single" to " in a relationship".

I felt betrayed,
cheated again .
Thought of writing,
"You ruined me,
wish now you too get
some taste of this pain!

Eventually,all that I updated
read,"Bless you"
But I couldn't post it
as the screen had gone blue !

It froze there for a moment
something moved
and I saw the
what's on your mind space
getting a tooth !

"You, yes you.
Why don't you just share ,
what you have on your mind?
Rather than every-time,
erasing the thing
that you had just typed"

Startled to see
the inanimate thing speaking
I just sat there
letting it do
what I was actually thinking !

"You were a bastard
a pain in an ass.
you never loved me,
but i always loved you,
you jackass ! "

"Now you are hooked up
with some bitch.
Hope you soon realize
that my love for you
wasn't a hitch !"

The updates were made
and the loser was online.
He read and disappeared forever,
in less than no time !


I was happy
probably on cloud nine
because finally I had spoken
what was on my mind !


 [ I am not good with words to form something called a poem, but I can always try ;) Hope Shocketry's inventor and the admins here don't block me after reading this ;) :D Sorry Guys. Please do forgive me ]
Smita

 



 

May 21, 2009

Thursday

You guys check this vid out...



Have a ball!!!

SOILD STATE DEVICES AND CIRCUITS - SSDC - SEM -iii (ELECTRONICS ENGINEERING)


(Image - PROXY PALS - shishir singh and pranshu shukla )

thats a direct post from the pages of my Diary that I shared with my orkut friends long time back...

21st july 2008 - sem 3 starts, we three... me and my two frns(whose pic is with me in account) starts the class and here this SSDC proffessor enters... first question he puts up to me sitting on first row, "what was the intention behind ur choosing EC as branch?", i give a long reply in full proof stylo english about ambitions and aspirations of mine in electronics... then i notice that he hardly got clue of my vocab and was never listening after 20 seconds of my start of the reply..
then he makes a circuit... and places a battery, inverted as to what it was meant to be (in a CB configuration diagram) [ULTI BATTERY] what the hell? i stand up and ask the question and then he rubs the B OF CB and write E , it becomes CE.. and smiles and says i was just testing u all... (what the hell? half of the output circuit is still same, this is again a wrong diagram... ) then he goes on to dictate the theory and neither am i able to hear the clear pronunciation of his voice and nor i am sure if he is speaking the right thing.. then he questions me as to if i am trying to become oversmart after getting 68 in basic electronics(in first sem), dont know how he knew that? and then that horrible first lecture of SSDC ends.. i see the book and horrified at the tough diagrams, decides to voluntarily study it without any help from this hopleless teacher... to pass to learn and to get my frns pass... then....
in the rest of sem... things became from worse to worst...
this teacher was such a non dominating and totally confused fellow, people started clapping in his classes .... to make his fun and on top of this, u know what he kind of enjoyed this claping... and then in every next class of SSDC.. me makes a statement "jyada padoge toh jyada number aayengey" and :dus marks ka yeh question hai, samjhee!! dus ka dum" and me and my two frns (now from the last seat,, our usual destination) replying back to the teacher "WAH! kya pyaari baat kahi hai, SUBHANALLAH!" and then to follow up... "whole class would clap" .... look at this! and then now comes my record...

classes in the sem :
40
attended :
6
attendance present in :
36 (courtesy shishir singh(one who always use to say subhanallah! after my wah! , present in my account album,more than a frn to me in college, my voice, my strength, and in SSDC, my proxy)
where is me? ? usually in canteen in SSDC classes or if sitting(rarest of rare) then eating someone's tiffin in the last seat...!! and that too infront of teacher's eyes... now the result : studies SSDC always in the morning of exams, just learnt diagrams and working mein" one principle learnt and then ussi ko active and passive mein badal badal k ans ko lamba kar do" and then got 18,21,20 in 3 sessionals out of 30(and that too when i knew most of the questions before the exam,now dont ask how?
and then today attempted paper of 70 maks, might land up at 50 ... to 60 as usually i am very certain and write ans properly in external but bas back bach jaaye then i wont complain, that i have promised to myself... i am a contented human being as far as getting marks is conecrned/... so clear rahun hamesha! and PROUDLY class mein aisa hi behaviour rakhun... saumya and susheel(polite and sincere)... bas yahi wishes chahiya aap logon ki...

************************************************************************************* As I look back the diary... there is a smile on my face! got 42 In SSDC.... I remember this story cos yesterday in my second last exam of fourth sem I encountered the same prof of SSDC as the invigilator in a diffferent college!




HOW TO KILL IT...!!!



Her: How do you kill a mosquito??

Him: Ah!! its a long process..!!!

Her: You have to tell...Its mandatory.

Him: OK...here i go..Steps below:

1.Catch the mosquito alive
2. Tie off its legs
3.Then Tickle in its stomach
4. when it laughs catch its mouth and pour a spoon full of poison

Saaala..paaka mar jayega...!!!

Her: (In anger) wah wah....wah wah..!!!

She stands up and slaps him hard...!!!

Him: Why did u slap me?? Was i wrong??

Her: (Showing the dead mosquito on his face) This is the best way to kill a mosquito..!!

Competition means, THIS!!!!

This is a hoarding Jet Airways put at a busy road in Mumbai (bandra road )



SEE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT...



AFTER A FEW DAYS ...




and FINALLY ....


the most happening....