Death Heals - Part ONE! ^_^

"Diyaaaaaaa......." screamed Niki in disgust "...It's the fiftieth cigarette,damn it.What's wrong with you?Why're you ruining yourself?"

"Look Niki,Don't keep reproaching me all the time.Smoking is the only thing which helps me stay happy,forget the ugly past and keeps me alive."

Niki was Diya's best friend.The kind of friend who stood by her,when there was no one to be with her,no one to count upon and no one to notice the silent tears.She was the one who knew Diya more than herself & valued her the most in her life.Inspite of her rude behaviour & indifference,Niki never left her alone.

Diya was a very sweet,simple & innocent girl but one heart break shattered her completely."One" wrong decision and everything changed.She gave up all her friendships,pushed away everyone including her family....Just because of one person,she was completely broken.Niki knew about everything that he had put her through,but she couldn't do anything except give her mental support & wipe her tears.It had been almost an year,but things were still miserable for her.She was still waiting for that one soothing touch of her life...


She took to smoking,drinking,and indulged in all those vices,which she used to utterly detest and run away from.

She wanted him back 'cause she knew that no one could replace him.She could forgive everything & start afresh,but.... he was happily married and did not even bother to ask whether she was alive.That's what made life tougher for her.



Amidst all this chaos of her life,the battle that she had to fight with her heart everyday,there was someone who loved her and could do anything just to make her smile AGAIN.

His name was Jay...He confessed his love for Diya,on repeated persuasion from Niki.He went upto her,held her close and said

"Diya....I know what you're going through.I've seen the girl you were & the girl you've become.Please don't hurt yourself like this.How long will you hold on!!!Someday you'll have to learn to let go.I know none of your friends ever stood by you.But Niki & me---We'll always be with you no matter what.I always wished to tell you how much you mean to me...I truly love you.I respect your feelings for him & I just want you to know that I shall accept you as you're .I don't care about your past as long as you're my present........And honestly,I'm glad that you love him so much.Perhaps,someday you can give me a bit from the love you've for him.I just want you to be happy.How I wish I could get him back for you,but....."


Diya had tears streaming down her eyes...Perhaps tears of happiness,perhaps tears of the memories revisited,perhaps for the moments she wished to relive.....

........To be continued........ [Today itself / Next wednesday]

---Exclusively for The Writers Lounge.---

Image source :- Click here!

More of my posts on The Writers Lounge :- Where Thoughts Are Words !!

My Blogs :- My thoughts and My random outbursts.

^_^ Introducing :- Where Thoughts Are Word$! :-)

A warm hello to everyone around.. :)

It's been just 6.5 months since I'm a part of "The Writers Lounge" & it has been a pleasant journey throughout.I'm genuinely grateful to Stephen for inviting me over here.It was 24th November-his birthday :D when I joined.I shall surely remember the day,even if I'm removed for not being regular in posting[God forbid that day ever arises].Stephen teased me once saying "You'll be removed" & I actually get scared even at the very thought of it.I truly love this place the most in the virtual world.I may not post regularly/comment but I appreciate each & every post over here by each and everyone.

Alright,now something about me :)

I'm Disha Bhatt.

I don't have many nicknames,but "Dish" is my favourite one."Some" of my friends call me "Di".Most of the people know me as "Disha".

I'm a reserved kind of a girl,and I believe in being frank,honest & keeping relationships simple with no pretence.

I'm studying third year dentistry & aspire to go abroad.My dreams are the dearest to me & I get the world's weirdest dreams. :)

I love watching movies and I can watch even repeat telecasts of my favourite tv show "N" number of times.I'm kinda obsessed to writing & I write "REALITY" with a shade of imagination added to it.

I'm an "internet addict"-All thanks to blogs and social networking sites!!!! :D
I love passing time on yahoo! doodle...

I loooooooove travelling,have been to almost everywhere in India.Thanks to my parents who love it too! :)

I love photography.I love animals and birds(and keeping pets too) but I'm veryyyyyyy scared of reptiles(except tortoise],so I've a fear-relationship with them].Actually I aspired to be an ornithologist but ended up in dentistry[Please check the meaning in the dictionary :)]

I live life on my own strange principles & terms.

I believe in making "Virtual World" real..... :)

"Virtual Reality...."

Hope this place stays as wonderful as it is.

All my best wishes to everyone here!!

:)




Okay .... back to studies.... :P

[Don't misinterpret the photo.It's just that I'm busy reading a friend's blog on "paper"] :)

My blogs :-
Where Thoughts Are Word$

My Random Outbursts

India needs leaders and no dealers.....

I hate politics,I hate politicians,I hate writing about them,I hated
studying about civics & economics.I know it's important to know it all if
you're a part of democracy like India,but I don't understand a word I read about politics.

So this is my first post about POLITICS,and perhaps the last too[Till the next election :)]

30/04/2009----

It was the election date.Most of the people were bent upon awakening the other to vote and the businessmen were busy persuading everyone to vote by huge discount offers on showing the famous black spot - the proof that they had voted. Even the radio jockeys at various radio stations were doing the same job.

As far as I was concerned,it was not like a "normal" holiday-a sunday.It was the festical of politics,where I had to do something so important and that too for the first time in my life.---- VOTE!! .... and then show off that black dot proudly to everyone around.

I had not received my election card,but my dad assured me that I would be allowed to vote on showing my identity & residence proof.I was not very keen on voting,but those vote campaigns had awakened the enthusiastic voter in me !! :D

A friend told me that the candidates bribed certain class of people to vote for them and the money[Read : bribe/black money] those people earned was lakhs of rupees.

I was shocked.I was feeling so helpless.I was far too innocent to imagine such things were actually happening.I thought if these people applied a bit of their business mind to constructive activities,for the welfare of the people;the future of India would be so much better than expected. But these corrupt people,who keep running after money all the time;the unethical politicians;the immoral citizens-----all these things and lot more has weakened India.I feel so sorry that I don't have enough authority & courage to fight against all this.

How I wish I could undertake a sting operation,catch the politicians red-handed when they're bribing people and those sick DISGUSTING citizens of INDIA who actually accept the bribe and happily enjoy partying with that dishonest earning.

Horrible,isn't it?

It hurts me more than anything ever.To be honest,I'm not the "perfect patriot" kind of a girl,but I'm surely concerned for my country & its future.It's my moral responsibility for the sake of humanity-not only for India but for any DEMOCRATIC country as a bonafide citizen of that particular country.

Anyways,all these are mere talks and talks don't help.I know I cannot reveal the names of people involved in all this,but I surely wish I can do something.

I wish I can catch each one of them,get them arrested and drag them to the court. I know it very well that even if I reveal those names,people will question me regarding evidences,which I'm not going to have.

Anyways forget it.Talk & forget-Thats all I can do.I'm such an ordinary citizen-another common man who cannot do anything inspite of being the witness to all the injustice and a victim of corruption.[Courtesy: movie -Wednesday].I don't have any other option.I cannot call the police and tell them 'cause you never know even they might be involved[Sorry - to all the genuine policemen out there,if at all anyone is reading].

Okay,now coming back to my first vote....

The centre was not at all crowded.The people posted with the job of handling the voting procedures were literally sitting idle,whiling away time,cracking jokes,laughing at the silliest jokes and gossiping.

Tch-Tch!!

What a situation!!

They were cracking jokes on the blue ink which turned black[which was used for applying the black spot.]--- "This can be used as a dye to colour the hair black". Thats what I heard.

Huh!!I guess this was the poorest joke I have heard in my life,but I completely sympathize with them.

That was the scene at the polling centres.

Scene at home :-

Everyone was busy watching poll news about the poll percentage and few glimpses of IPL.

I swear,I'm so not interested in cricket.IPL makes me sick! and on the top of it all,IPL is the "current event" thing.Status messages on all social networking sites,applications on all social networking sites,blogs,newspapers,tv channels,college conversations,bets,celebrity crushes,messenger chats,messenger status messages--------EVERY second thing is about IPL-Mumbai something,Delhi something....God knows what are those names.

Anyways coming back to elections...

The news channels had got a new topic apart from IPL.

"Aaj Mumbai ne kiya niraash....."

"Only 46.63% people voted at Mumbai......."

Then,the celebritiessssssss-----

"John Abraham,Sonam Kapoor,Amrita Rao,Abhishek Bacchan,Aishwarya Bacchan,Jaya Bacchan,Amitabh Bacchan etc etc etc....WENT TO VOTE".

This was the breaking news.

And then The top 10 celebrities who did not vote---

5 in actors,5 in actresses :-

Ajay Devgan,Saif Ali Khan,Akshay Kumar,Salman Khan,Deepika Padukone,Priyanka Chopra,Kareena Kapoor etc. etc. --I don't remember the names.Please excuse me.--These people did not vote.Inspite of being a part of the inspiring advertisement to make people vote,these stupid celebrities did not vote.
It was so damn irritating.News channels are sooooooo irritating.....
Moreover,In Mumbai they applied that black spot on the middle finger,so in case they have to show the proof that they had voted,they would have to show all the fingers together...Poor Mumbai!! :P

Phew...enough of all this.I shall post more after 5 years!! :P

P.S. :- We give them vote.What do they give us? I'm thankful to this line and the autorickshaw wala who had got this line painted on his autorickshaw.

--------Note: I'm not answerable to anyone,any legislation,any politician,any policeman or any other common man like me.We all know the realities of "INDIA" and we've to accept it,shut out mouth,sit back blindfolded and let everything happen.-------

If you can do anything about the malpractices going on,please consider my support,encouragement and appreciation. :)

Inspired from ---
http://nitawriter.wordpress.com/
http://thoughtsrain.blogspot.com/2009/05/v-days.html

Crossposted@My Random Outbursts

The "Status Message" obsession!!

A new kinda craze has taken over everyone [including ME] nowadays.

---> Getting new status messages and showing it off to everyone through internet messengers,social networking sites and blogging sites has been the latest trend in the virtual world.

Everyone keeps friends updated about the events taking place in their lives through status messages.

For Example :-

"Exams approaching".

"Busy with studies".

"Won the runner-up prize in 'X' competition".

"Going to USA".

"Received a job offer at 'so & so' place".

"Secured admission in ..... field"

And so on and on and on and on and on.................

{Click to enlarge}

The other kinds of status messages found in virtual world are the motivational quotes,funny one-liners.

Many many quotations from various other subjects can also be noticed.

Sentimental broken heart quotes are the best status messages[According to me]in the world of internet.

Status messages also sometimes indicate the relationship status.

:)

And there had been an incident published in the newspaper :-

A guy had written his status message on some messenger -

"Found a new girlfriend".

Somehow,his x-gf happened to sign in and she also changed her status message to :-

"If you're foolish enough to let me go,I'm smart enough to find a new one".

Conclusion derived is :- Status messages can lead to break-ups.

However,they can also lead to the beginning of a new relationship.

For instance :-

"I must be a good liar if you think I want to be just friends".

A new turn came in the life of the girl who had written this as her status message.

:D

Other than these,there is sarcasm also with implied meaning.

You can check out my status messages for that when you're free[that is if you're in my messenger list].
:D

I'm not going to write any of those here.It's my most precious collection.
:)



People write the links of their blogs,the web-sites they own,the links of their organization etc...........

All kinds of status messages can be observed in this large world of virtual reality.

To end this article,I'm reminded of a very profoundly sarcastic status message of mine :-

"Don't cry thinking that it's all over,smile 'cause it happened".

A friend of mine asked me to modify it as :-

"Don't cry 'cause it's not over,Smile 'cause lot more to come......."!!

However,the main point is most of these status messages are "copied-pasted".

Very very few status messages are self-written.

If you've read my post "Real kind of an illusion-love" ,
a friend of mine copied the first sentence of this post and wrote it as the status message on a social networking site.

The worst part is people take our words for granted & don't even ask for permission to use it.

lol

----Sarcasm unveiled----



Reposted from :- My blog! - here.


:)

The final Goodbye!! !!

He:Hey Hie.Where were you since so many days?

She:Are you talking to me?

He:Of course.Why're you saying so?

She:No,I thought you have better things to do now.

He:Yes,but talking to you is one of them.

She:Please stop your tall stories.I've heard enough of it already.

He:Hey,why are you so rude?

She:I'm rude!!!!!!!I think you should ask this to yourself "Why am I so indifferent?"

He:Me & indifferent?I asked you where were you and you are showing me such attitude?

She:Oh before 15 months,I was the best girl you had seen and suddenly today,I've become the attitude girl?Just introspect yourself before telling me anything.Think what you had said before some months.

He:What do you mean?

She:Please don't try to be so innocent.I'm trying hard to be polite.Don't force me to say something which will hurt you and later bite my conscience.

He:No,just let me know why you're behaving in such a manner.

She:Just forget it.You know it very well what I'm talking about.Bye.


[Signs out.]

The next day......

He:Hey,Listen.Atleast tell me where did I go wrong?

She:Do you want "me" to tell you?Can't you realize it yourself?Atleast take some trouble to go back and...

He:I don't think I have done anything wrong.

She:Oh !!Fine then.I'm wrong.I was wrong that I considered you a friend.I was wrong that I thought we were those fairytale friends forever.I was wrong that I trusted you more than myself and I respected you soooooooo much.I was wrong that I believed everything you said.I even believed you when you said we make a perfect pair.I considered your presence in my life everything I wanted.You mattered the most to me.I was wrong when I took you as a friend.I had nothing of that sort in my mind,but you compelled me to believe that I had.Even though you couldn't commit,I thought you'll,someday....But all your words were a farce and a part of your false promises,those dreams which you could never change into reality and your two-faced pesonality.Actually not a two-faced,multi-faced personality.You wanted to fit into the impression of "My kind of a guy" ,so you pretended to be a good,decent and sweet person.The kind of person,I had always wanted.But now,I'm over it.I'm grateful to you that in the beginning you taught me how to live with a broken heart,without the person you truly love the most and later you taught me not to trust anyone blindly and the most important thing you taught me was never to let a stranger change your life,the way you had changed mine.......Because of you,I cannot believe anyone at the first go,and even friends made fun of my feelings.You did not even bother to look back once and ask if I was fine.Anyways,I don't care and I'm glad I don't exist for you any longer and neither do you exist for me.

He:I'm sorry.I never really meant to do all this that you just said.But if you've really felt so,I promise you today that from now on I'll never try to talk to you.I'm sorry I made you my friend and I apologize for everything you think I've done.I really like you a lot and you are still the most genuine person I've come across.I'll always regret having lost you.Thanks for everything and sorry for everything.Bye.Take care.I'm sorry I couldn't love you the way you wanted me to....!!


She signs out.Finally at peace with her emotions which were fighting inside her since so long,the turbulence of thoughts is finally calm....She ended it the way it should have,long back and she knows it should not have started,in the first place.

Her step to the sweetest crime....!!

Don't know if this post will be worth a read but just felt like posting it here...

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

She was watching Rab ne bana di jodi with her parents....
Throughout the movie there was just one person in her mind....
It was him....
____________________________
She wants to sing the song for him :-

"Tujh me rab dikhta hai......Sajde sar jhukta hai"....

She wants to tell him every bit of emotion she had experienced throughout the movie.She wishes to watch the movie with him,hold his hand,hug him tight and declare to the world how much she loves him......

She's the girl who wants to tell him "I love you".
She's the girl who wants to tell her friends "I love him"
She's the girl who can't wait to tell the world that she's in love....in love with "SOMEONE"....

Someone who's so amazing
Someone who's so caring
Someone who's so loving
Someone who can show her heaven on earth
Someone who's everything for her
Someone who means the world to her


.........But she's just another good friend for him...
There's where the story ends but the girl has imagined a different story...

She's finally in love... For the first time in her life she's felt so wonderful.

The girl oblivious of the bitter reality has finally started dreaming,making lovely fairy tales for her life and living those sleepless nights she had only heard of from movies,read in the cheesy love quotes she had collected and those english love songs by Bryan Adams....Finally she had learnt the meaning of all those lyrics 'cause they were the words she wanted to say,the words which she might never say...And most important she had also learnt the meaning of INSOMNIA...

:)

Love and me!!!!

Love & me :

An irony of life I can never understand.

My love for him :

A feeling I can never justify.

His love for her :

My fate I can never change

His friendship with me :

An emotion I can never deny

My ever-growing feelings for him,
Her ever-growing love for her :

That's a tale I can never narrate or rectify.....


____________________________________________________________

In the process of "LOVE",I realized that "Let people think what they want,It was never really my fault".

I also realized not to make anyone's past my present or future.
You cannot break a relationship to establish your own.
If you truly love someone,you ought to love his happiness more than yours.

I had always been as genuine as I was;He couldn't value my truth,my respect,my trust,my friendship or my love.He never bothered to understand my little gestures,my unsaid words & my silence.He wasted his time & his words on me.He could only say "We'll always be friends,no matter what."

When time asked for the proof to those promises,he was lost.
Lost because of destiny,Lost because of the blows of time,the fast-changing priorities of his life,the sidetracked relationship with me & not being strong enough to maintain a long-lasting relationship.

Words did not mean anything to him,My actions couldn't make him realize anything.He was so consumed in his own life & his busy schedules,social-professional relations that he did not have time to think about me.

Today I've lost a friend;I've lost the right to ask him what went wrong & to tell him how much he means to me...He's the one who has shown me how fast times have changed.It's a bit late to mend ways and sort out matters.After all,relationships are like glass & I've well-understood not to hurt myself for someone who never cared;& even if he did,it was all a farce..

A relationship I can never forget but a relationship he'll never remember.
I miss those moments with him,He doesn't even know they exist.
Whenever I pray I ask God to give him a good life;I have already made peace with the fact I wont be in it.

-------------------

To you ... :-

You can change your present.
You can avoid me.
You can ignore me.
You can hurt me.
You can hate me.
You can be as indifferent as you can.
But always remember -
Some things are meant to be....
Some things which never change....
Some things you won't be able to change....
Those things are -

The memories you've given me;
The way you had made me feel;
Those smiles,those laughs;
Those jokes,those songs;
Your so-called words,My feelings;
The void after you left;
I promise it'll never be replaced;
Your place in my heart shall forever remain;
Those feelings for you shall always prevail;
My love for you will never fade.

If forever means eternity,
I won't miss this chance to say
My heart is yours,I'm all yours.
I belong to you,You belong to me till eternity.......

Note:-You're always going to have a place reserved in my heart,in case you ever want it back.

I don't care what the world thinks about it.

:)

Finally done CRYING!!

I've so many questions for him but today I don't want to have any answers & I don't even want to ask....

I've waited a long time for him to realize and now I guess it's time I move on....
It was all an illusion and I never really felt anything for him.

He used to say

"You're awesome"

but inspite of that I wasn't better than her.

While writing this,I 'm reminded of a dialogue from the movie 'Dil Chahta Hai' when Deepa asks Sid

"Agar main itni acchi hu,to mujhe wo kyu nahi mil sakta?????....".

I still wish to go back one last time,just to see if he bothers to come back.

He used to write poems for her;I wanted to learn to do that,for him.
He used to ask me the ways to get her but he never cared to see what I had for him.
He wanted her to understand him and I wanted him to understand me.
He was asking me ways to live without her,if he could not get her.I used to search ways to live without him.....& the worst part was I couldn't even tell him.
I used to patiently show him ways and console him whenever she made him cry.
I had always wanted to ask him

"How can you love someone who makes you cry!!!"

But I knew that would hurt him so I could never gather the courage to ask him.

He always thanked me for listening to him so calmly.At those moments,I used to explain myself to forget what I wanted and learn to live with what I had... I used to tell him,

"I'm just an object of destiny.Perhaps,destiny wants you to get that girl of your dreams & I'm the medium for that".

However,I always used to think to myself :-

"Has God forgotten that he has created me too?"!!!

"Why ME"?????

He used to say that he was alive because of her.On the other hand,I was dying because of him.
Either he used to overlook my feelings and just pretend,or I must have acted really well...

He had been missing her smile;I was missing his.

He used to turn back to me when he needed to share something but today when I need someone,he's gone...

He did not even bother to look back to the friendship we had....

I used to smile in my solitude,remembering everything we used to talk.Even a silly love song would make me miss him.

However,today I'm really happy that he's not with me.He's happy where he is and that's where he always wanted to be.I'm happy where I'm and I don't at all need him in my life.

I wanted him in my life because I hate losing people.
I did not expect things to change so fast,though deep down I knew that this is going to be a short-lasting bond.

Now I just want him to be another stranger and if at all he looks back,he won't find me where he had left me.....'cause I've moved on a bit too far from where he left me...

I moved on a bit too late 'cause previously whenever I tried to forget,destiny somehow tried to confront me by reminding me of him,receiving a sudden message from him or someone taking his name.

Now I don't care and I know how to face his existence in this world.
But one thing is for sure,I did not do anything wrong.I was a bit too much,in LOVE!! :)All I ever wanted was

"Three letters to my three words"...!!

___________________________________________________

"Please My destiny,Don't make him play hide & seek with me.Either don't at all make me feel he exists or bring him so close to me that even God won't make us apart."

And ya enough of sacrifices !!

In my eighth incarnation,I'll make sure he's mine & if he's not,I'll snatch him from my destiny.

:)