December 9, 2008

A Visit

It was raining cats and dogs when I left home. I was hurrying through the drenched streets and making my way to where she lives now. She would be waiting, I knew. She would be getting wet too. I took the raincoat, but forgot the hat – was in such a hurry. Took a bunch of yellow tulips from the florist at the corner; she loves these. I moved nearer to her place. Making my way through the fleeing crowd was toil. I hid the flowers inside the raincoat, hoping they would not get soaked. And I rushed through. Many of the folks had umbrellas. Hush! Why did I not bring mine? – I thought. This small kid, walking with her dog in her lap was trying to get underneath her mother’s umbrella. She was playing hide and seek with the rain and getting drenched – the mother was too hasty to look back at her, as she passed me. Hope they live nearby. The other couple was too busy in each other that they could not see the rushing limousine. And as I thought, the car splashed all the water unto them. They looked at themselves, then the passing car, then at each other and laughed. Weirdoes! They found another excuse to hold each other more tightly. All the people were either walking swiftly towards their destination or running towards a nearby hideout. None had time to look at anyone; neither did I. She was waiting! I hurried faster. I did not have time to enjoy the rainfall. I thought of enjoying the shower together with her. It took me another couple of minutes to be there. I reached her place just in time. I went past her mates in there – they had no visitors. I was the only one there – wet, but happy. I could see the bluish cross – no mistake, it’s her! I went near; sat by her grave. It was all sodden in this evening London rain. I took out the flowers and laid them by her chest. She felt it close to her heart – still thumping as mine. I felt she cried in bliss, that I could make it on her 87th forgotten birthday – even in this downpour. Tears were in my eyes too, but thanks to the raindrops – I went unnoticed.
(384 Words)


  1. OMG! That was sooooo cute!!! *WITH MOIST EYES*

  2. couple of grammar errors, else the story is amazing!

  3. the end was like...wham! good one mate...really touched me somewhere deep inside....tan has had a dramatic entry to the lounge..he he..welcome welcome..n thanx for participating...cheers!

  4. and yeah, sorry for being/acting like too naive but, how do you add your name tag at the end of the story/post?

  5. Hehehe ... thats a secret .. wont tell you ...


    You know what? I do not know it myself ... I asked Stephen for it, since he has put it in one of his posts ... I could create a sign, but it was his idea on how to put it in ... I still dont know how he took out that html tag for me ...

    Visit and ask Stephen, if he could help you ...

    any of you - teach me the trick plz ..

  6. loved it first time .. loved it more now !!

  7. wow man..!! What a wonderful story...!!
    I predict this post might make u the winner.


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  9. Amazing story mann ....Truly superb....Prolly the best read by me so far.. overtaking the one written by Rashi V ...You hv a good story telling ability tan ......

    A publishing material this....Seriously .......

  10. Who deleted what post? Grrr ...
    Guys, you have the right to say what you do ... and dont think whether it will hurt or praise the writer, for if you do not comment, how would I know where I went wrong? My story for me is the best, as always ... its your comments which actually make the write up rich and encourages the writer to write better ...

    Please do not delete comments ... let it be there ... who knows, you are helping a future bigshot by your comment ... huh!

    @ Anurag ..

    Thanks Dude ... I will write more ..

  11. wow

    that was just.. wow..

    really touchin piece... it wasnt totally what i was expecting.. really touched me..

    just loved it.. :)

  12. Thank you very much Ani ... Your comment tells me that I was right in putting this post up for the contest ... Second one is also OK, but this is more liked by all, it seems ...

    thanks again...

  13. wow tan... that struck a chord deep down somewhere... really touching... vivid descriptions... i could actually picturise everything in front of me... and the end was beautiful... what's with all the last lines in everyone's stories??... lol... they leave me mesmerised.. and so did this one...

    i think you made the right choice for the contest... all the best.. cheers!!

  14. Hey Thanks Mona,

    Well, I got a similar comment in the other write-up of mine ... I thought that was the best comment I ever got in my life ... The writers aim is to make you feel the story - if you can picturize the same and see what is written - its even better ... great - great ... Loved this comment - YOU Guys already gave me my award ...

    Thanks ... Take care ...

  15. Awesome story :) and written it very well

  16. Thanks Hashan... You seem to read my old posts here now... great!! Happy that you liked it :)


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