It was 1 am when she left work. She got into the car. She checked the mirror. Her makeup was perfect as was her business suit. Not a crease anywhere. It was perfect. Perfection is what she strived. In her work. In everything she did. She started the car. It didn’t start. Once again. The car had given up on her. Just like her life had. The fuel tank was empty just like her house, her heart.
There was no point in trying the car now. She decided to walk home. She started walking. It started to rain. DAMN. She cursed under her breath. This had to happen. Her heel broke. Double DAMN. She picked her heels in her hand. She challenged the rain, “Try all you want. I will get home. SAFE” She laughed and thought loneliness had gotten to her. Did she just talk to the rain? Hmm.
As she walked, she didn’t feel the dread you feel walking barefoot on a lonely road on a rainy day. She felt liberated. As each drop touched her body, she felt a sense of serenity, a calm feeling like the lover’s touch. She felt her makeup melt away. She felt her mask peel away. She felt naked. She felt like her. As her eyeliner was getting washed away, she felt her vision clearing up.
She felt free. Free from responsibilities. Free from having to keep up. Free from demons within. She saw the dust covered leaves being cleansed by the rains, being liberated by the weight of the unwanted. She felt the same weight being lifted off her. She was herself again. Once again ready to take on the world the way as herself, the way she was, not what she had become!
Word Count : 293
wow, I swear I had a similar idea, but in mine the girl was a final year student going to give the presentation to company managers that will offer her a job, and she being epitome of perfection walking to the auditorium when rain would begin hehe!
ReplyDeletewe are soul mates, no wonder!
totally loved the story :D
loved the thought behind the story..the way the rain washes away what you pretend to be and u become who u r. lovely thought.
ReplyDeleteIt was clear what you wanted to say. Most important in any write-up.
ReplyDeleteGood thought - well described. Hope it reaches the distance.
All the best!
loved the thought that went behind this piece....different from the stories doing rounds...its like a page torn off from a rainy day...you could feel the character...her anxieties...natural...commendable..all the best rashi...your entry was a whiff of change..a pleasant one...really an experience to see different takes on the theme...cheers!
ReplyDeleteAww thanks guys.. I feel all mushy inside!!!
ReplyDeleteIs this what love feels :P??
i think so ;P
ReplyDeleteLet the rains free you from the demons and reveal the true you to you and make the feeling more profound...he he...
LoL.. I'll prolly end up in bed for a week!
ReplyDeleteI never carry an umbrella during the rains and make it a point to get drenched each time! :) Dont care and my hair looks way cuter when wet! :)
ReplyDeleteI hv been reading the stories from the top and for me this one's the best so far ....Liberation in the rain ...A Perfect rainy sequence...Beautiful Thought that ...Well done :)
ReplyDeleteLoved the theme... I mean, the way she felt liberated...
ReplyDeleteIt made a real good read...!!
Another serious contender.. :)
Cheers..!!
Arjun
omg,
ReplyDeleteanother entry .....yaar this is nice....
the rain washed away everything....nicely written.....abt how the person feels and all.....yep ,its something different from wht i am reading
loved the way you metaphored makeup with the layers we put on in life !! nice :)
ReplyDeleteI found a new name ... but just dont change the name for my sake ...
ReplyDeleteDETERGENT!!
(I already expressed my feelings on this, you know Rashi, how I felt ... Keep writing)
Im seriously overwhelmed with all the comments... *blush*
ReplyDeleteBtw Tan,
Detergent???
Am i the only clueless one?
Nevermind ... it actually has nothing to do with your post ... I was searching for new words for cleanser that A girl would choose ... You choosing Cleanser is right ... I cannot think of a different name ... poor vocabulary! :(
ReplyDeleteCleanser is what women use to remove Makeup...
ReplyDeleteCleanser..Toner.... Moisturizer!!!
Alas, me allergic to all including make up
that was awesommee.. isnt that what all of us want at the end of the day.. feeling liberated.. n free.. just to be ourself.. n no pretense..
ReplyDeletewas lovely :)
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ReplyDeletehey...its amazing....i do this every monsoon...i know what it feels like...and u put that into words really well, you know, the way you feel free...!!!
ReplyDelete....and my hair looks cuter when wet too...!!
I should ask my wife to get drenched sometimes ... it has been time I saw her beautiful locks wet ... hmmm ... you girls have given me a good idea ... hehehe ... :)
ReplyDeleteI have a slightly better option but well I will tell you when I find you online...Secret..Shuush! ;)
ReplyDelete@ Rashi ...
ReplyDeleteHope you were not talking to me, for I do not have any other options as of now ... hehehehe ... I meant that ;)
@ Tan..
ReplyDeleteI was I was!!! Im a naughty "little" thing!!!
Hmmm ... So, that option was for me ... Well, will have to see you online sometime, to know that ... hmmm ... good :)
ReplyDelete*Wink wink*
ReplyDeletehehehehe ... hmmm ... keep WRITING ... Tan will read YOU ;)
ReplyDelete