July 18, 2009

...sudden outburst of emotions..

A hand waved behind the dusty glass window and bus moved slowly away from that hand.For few seconds my hands stayed there in air and my eyes looked outside the window as if he was still there waving his hand.I wanted to scream but my voice stucked somewhere inside my neck.I felt it was painful even to take out a single word. I Holded my bag and purse tightly as if I was a child and someone would steal away my things from me.When a person get emotionally drenched,he often become weak and that weakness make him scared of the world and so was I.
I sat at the last seat of bus near the same window from where a few seconds back I saw him waving his hand and again with this see-off new unbearable journey of waiting started which freezed my heart and hurt my eyes so badly that they started bleeding .Holding tears by the side of my eyes chocked my neck so much that it pained a lot to take out words from my mouth when bus conductor asked for ticket.I took ticket and holded tightly in my hand.Though bus moved slowly far way from him but my thoughts stopped right there with him,from where the bus started.All the moments of back few hours started flashing and at each moment my heart start paining and tears started running endlessly.It's not just about that single moment it's about the beautiful time that passed by often bring tears to my eyes.The moments in which we smiled endlessly often make eyes wet.Though people so far away from us are still with us every moment,though we keep on talking to them regularly but sometimes inspite of all those talks and letters we miss them desperately because we need there presence more then there words, we need there eyes to look into ours to read millions of unsaid words,we need a warm touch to give peace to our wondering soul.And when that moment reaches us with opened arms our heart just wishes time to stop there forever.But reality often knock us so hard to ground that it hurts even more when we try to reach back.
When I was trying hard to stand back something knocked at my door of thoughts.A phone ring.I watched his name ringing on cell,I just rubbed my tears from my cheeks,though I tried to force them back,so that not to make them audible in my voice but,I knew that I was just giving an impossible effort.I pressed green button on my phone and his voice started,as ever it was but this time little bit low."Did you sit well in bus? When you just reach give a call" and my tears started falling and now nothing on the earth could stop them.He sensed it and said"You are crying.Don't do that.I don't want to cry more.I have already cried a lot.I was busy that's why I didn't got time to talk much and I just made you sit like that in bus",his voice started getting heavy before it could break out I just gathered some how my shattered soul and tried to hold back my tears and forced some words out of my mouth,"I am fine and I will call you back when I will reach".After that he was trying to saying something but I could just hear incomplete words as his voice was getting off due to weak network and after few impossible efforts of trying to get out what he was saying,call disconnected.No Network.My phone too drenched with my emotions and tears and lost it's network.
"Alas!".Yes,he cried a lot and whenever he cries my soul tear apart into thousand of pieces.I know men are not supposed to do so.They are just the strongest one and a single tear from their eyes is sign of weakness that's so feminine .But still he cried because today beautiful piece of his heart left him alone,his sister left him to move ahead with her life partner, tieing a knot of vows of marriage.As her car moved slowly away from banquet hall,his throat felt a thrust of emotions which forced tears out of his eyes.Holding his tears by the side of his wet eyes he moved slowly away from crowd to a lonely place behind a car and just broke out endlessly.Far away from him,though I could just sense him crying behind the car,but my soul crushed slowly and slowly with his each tear fall.My legs desperately wanted to run toward him behind that car which shielded his sudden outburst of emotions, to hold his shattering soul within my arms.When very precious people steps out of our world,they leaves behind a emotional disaster within our heart which hurt our soul thousand of times leaving behind an endless pain.That's why I wanted to hold him away from this sudden disaster.But I failed,that distance of just few steps turned into miles when my eyes looked at the crowds of people standing between us.I felt helpless as if i was locked up within glass walls from where I could only see him crying but could not touch him.Why this world always stand against us when we want to do what our heart say.
For few seconds I was in war ,where my thoughts were knocked down by innumerable shots of this strange world and amidst of this war something was running very fast.The best part of this thing is that either you die or survive,cry or laugh,it never stops,it is nothing but,"Time".When he made me to sit in bus,after the celebrations ended and everyone holding there wet eyes and mingled emotions of happiness and sorrow moved back to there paths,I realized how time runs so fast.After few hours of my meeting with him,for which I waited impatiently,I was again made to stand at that disastrous turn from where I have to move alone with a pang of parting in my heart.Beautiful moments often run very fast.When I saw bus moving away from him and that waving hand,my few beautiful hours spend with him slowly started altering into showcase of memories,which I can treasure for thousands of years but can't live it for a single second.Now with this phone call,I realized how his soul would have shattered twice in a single day.I can't even imagine how he must be struggling with this second parting.Strange is this parting world in a second you are screwed down totally without even hurting physically.I heard parting often weakens our heart but, this much it will, I never ever thought of this.
I still don't remember how I passed that bus journey of few hours but what I could gather was just those endless tears which keep on falling.I keep on rubbing them from my cheeks and they keep on falling back as if they have been locked up somewhere inside my eyes and had got the best moment to run out and have freedom.It 's just the game of time,as days will move ahead my soul will recover slowly and hold back the tears and treasure them again for some other beautiful yet painful moment.Though this journey of few hours some how ended but,the biggest journey has just started and how it will be and when it will end is still a question and 'Time' can only answer how emotions will entangle itself ahead in future ...!!!!

P.s. Freelancer your rendezvous inspired me to cross post this from my blog ..ya this one is quite emotional one.I wrote this when I met and again parted with my friend after a long time...but its true ..we meet to part again and part to meet again...!!...


  1. Brilliant Vidisha! :D

    It was so full of emotions... :)
    Just could not stop controlling my tears... :) Hate you for making me cry... *Hugs*

    And Love you for writing this so well... I am so scared of parting... but then, you have to deal with it. Trust me, I am like you, i deal with it in the emotional way... i cry my heart out! :)
    Life has given me so much in the last few days... its going to be so difficult for me by the next weekend! :)

    I've bored ya enough!
    Take care...
    Superb post! :)

  2. this was a fantastic write...full on emotions

  3. @Aarthi.....thnxx...I know its vry difklt but v al hv 2 face nyhow..!!!

  4. it wud be nice if u sequence it a bit..becomes easier 2 read :D

  5. i loved this .. if i wasnt in office, i know i wud be shedding a few tears .. reminds me each time i go home and i have to part wd my family .. thanks for sharing this :)


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