Paradox

Anniversary time. 3rd one to be precise. Memories galore. Glum faces. Memories of ultimate knot tie up. Dreams gone sour. Love lost. Wrecked heart. Ironies in miniscule actions of the day. That was a day of being in the limelight, today is the day being in solitude and reclusion, isolation and loneliness. Emptiness in the heart, anguish and anger on what went wrong. When dreams break, they hurt. And when your soul mate goes away, it kills your soul. Unfortunately there is no therapy or exchange offer for soul.

Silhouettes of days gone by, shadows of walking the road together, vows taken together, promises made to be with each other and then finding that all of them make no sense at all. You just live with the memories of the touch, the gentle kiss, that makes your day when things were good. Memories of everything, the proceedings, the vows and the rituals. The celebrations, the leg pulling and of course the moments of togetherness which are stolen with precision and come in rarity.

Songs wrecking the feeble heart, you live the date and the day with virtually going back to the clock 3 years back. Play the movie that defined your relationship, those movies and songs watched together in a cold evening clad in quilt in bed or cuddling corner seats of multiplex. The drives, the leaning of shoulder on the bike, the morning, evening, night calls, the enquiries if you had breakfast, lunch and dinner when away on work. Throwing back to each other’s arms when seeing each other after hours, dining together, making a tea together and then cleaning together.

Making sacrifices out of choices just to see the tiny little pony tailed girl happy. Calling her Teddy though she is full grown up 25 year old girl. Shunning chicken pizzas for Spicy Indian veg pizzas as token of love.

Watching those movies once you dismiss as rubbish and then going through again and again cos they reflect your story of life. Something which you have gone through. Songs, memoirs, places, movies, cards, restaurants, buses, bikes, apartments, dresses, she, me, quilt, TV, soul, heart, existence, life, dreams, heart, pain, silhouettes, vows, woes, separation, rituals, celebrations, allegations, hate, alvida, definitely, obviously, jaan, J, Teddy.

Life couldn’t have more paradox than this. Talking this on a day of anniversary. Anniversary of something very surreal and beautiful like the dew drops and tiny drop of water on the glowing face. Life for you!!!