March 3, 2009

Promises - Important aren't they?

Promises - Important aren't they?

It was late saturday's night while I was talking to him.The locked room was dark my ears having handfree, I was enjoying his talks when surddenly my mobile scree lit up it light. Without making him notice and continuing tolking I checked the noctice saying

1 Message recieved

I wondered who could message me this late but interuption of his voice made me failed guessing. I clicked the right button of my cell phone and read the message saying;

"Muwah! .. on ur lips i want to tok to u too bt
u knw na darling i am too busy in a asignment ryt nw"

'Sam!' I called his name feeling the difference in my tone.
'Yes darling! what?' He could, I know even he could feel the warning protest, the anger, the shakness of my voice.

'I got a message from your side' I repeated the message avoiding the kiss written first. And then I went quite waiting for his answer although I knew at first he will be avoiding the truth, he will be lying.

'Hainn! what's this? Are you serious! Comm'on I was talking to you , how I could've messaged this.

Oh! probably i have messaged it before, it must have delievered late.'His explantionary tone turned me worst doubt into a bitter fact.

'Who is she' I inquired of him without making an effort to either prolong this" why what" discussion or making it finished.

'WHO SHE? Jano! its just you!' The buttering way.. his typical way of talking to me when I am in anger, for calming me down but this time he was failed. I was not in a mood of listening "i love you & blah blah" at the moment I just wanted the truth..

'WHO IS THE ONE YOU WERE TEXTING TO.. No lies please' This time my voice was raised I knew.

'God! Zini aren't you understanding there is no one .. Its you and me. Just you & me. No one , nobody else is there' He said in his typical agressive tone which always made me underpressure but this time I wasn't in mood of getting feared.

'SAM! for the last time I am asking who the hell you were texting to and this time you are not going to lie to me and if you're not feeling like answering then feel free to drop the call' I yelled in returned without taking notice of how loud my voice is getting.I was shaking with anger.

'Zini! watch your atittude while talking to me. Try not to show me this atittude again BYE!' & the call was ended.

Fine! I don't care. As if i really don't. I throwed my cell-phone on bed and with tears fallen from my eyes i started scribbling;


You want new experiment,
I know!
You want some refeshment,
Although the requirment of love,
Ah ! its just the same,
She must been a different girl,
She must been heart-taking,
She must been a beauty,
But then,
Who was I for you?
If I wasn't love,
And she was the one,
Then how sure you are,
You want not me now,
Thing got between us,
Oh! tell me how?
Answer me and here I leave,
Was me not enough for you?
Why are you quite,
Correct me if i am mistaken,
Or is it because I hav'nt left yet,
So here I go with a question,
Leaving for you,

I don't know when I fallen asleep but before entering into town of my dreams I remember my watering puffy eyes, wetting my doll shaped pillow.


Next morning nah! I guess it was afternoon, I woke up left my bed streching my-self. I remembered the darkest nightmare of mine (hoping it was just a dream). I picked my cell-phone up. I got 10 messages, from top I started reading;

  • ' tok to me u.. bloody witch'
  • ' u thnk i am barkng.. lik a dog? zini ans me wat to do'
  • ' I knw u r wakng.. feelng good in makng me miserable no?'
  • ' i miss her but i dun wanna lev u too temme wat to do? u gimm good guidence plz'
  • ' i feel her in u dats y i said i luv u ... u r awesum lady bt it her i want'

  • ' she is here ... acc. to her promise .. nw i ve to fullfill mine. kia karun?'

  • ' i am bad na? kia karon? she loves me.. i promised her whenever she will return no mater i am doin what with whom i will accept her i will get bak to her'

  • ' she is back .. last night i was texting her .. she wanted to come back and i let her do so'

  • ' Zini! my love is back .. i was tokng to her last nyt u wre ryt the text wasnt for u'
  • 'I wanted to tell u that Aina is bak she texted me three days bck i wantd 2 tell u bt ws afraid
  • f ur reaction we can still b goood frnd bt..'

    Reading those I felt nothing for him .. not even hatered for him. My heart , my mind they both were very silent.. I dialed his number but then thinking something i pushed the 'end-call' button. Then I disaled a digit editing his number and sent him a awaz message (voice message), after leaving a message i dropped my cell phone on couch and left for breakfast.

    After 30 minutes I came back to my room to collect things and for the sake of changing my dress. Leaving my room making it locked, I hear a buzz from my mobile and noticed 3 missed calls and 2-messages all from him. I dialed his number feeling still nothing for him.

    'Hello!' His heart-taking voice greeted me.

    'You called for what?' I asked, what i wanted avoiding formalities.

    'Hey hey wait! ... for what in hurrry? First tell me how my princesses is?' Ah ! I felt like killing him (bastard... rascal.. abusing him as this was all I wanted but this certainly wasnt the need of the hour )
    'I am perfectly fine... now quickly please tell me why and for what you called me' I know I was being rash but this was least I can do with him.

    'Nothing I just called to check.. Bye! ' He dropped the call.

    I throwed my cell phone and cried .. as loudly as I could ..How could he.. how he do like that to me. My relation with him made no difference to him just because his ex came back. I cried.. throwed things from their places, all my room was soon a mess when my cell-phone buzzed again. He texted me;

    'Zini! baby i m sorry seriously please can u forgv me i knw its bad f me askng fr mercy makng u feekng bd, makng u dejected bt can u forgve me.. reply m um waiting . i dropped d call bcoz it was painful listening u being in such pain ol bcoz f me bt m terribly sorry'

    I felt like slapping him but when I started replying my heart and my fingers against my will typed;

    'U r forgvn by me bt plz do m jst 1 favor ryt aftr dis msg dont .. never evr contct me bak plz! wether u b wid her or ny1 plz lev me alone on my own i can live'

    I cleared my face with a tissue paper as I recieved the delievery report i switched-off my cell phone and I went to wash my face with splash of water and sat to write with and aim in heart of not crying .. not any more.. not for him atleast! but as i wrote what my whims made me feel, IO realized tears rolling on my face leaving their places in my eyes . I finished writting and started reading it in low tone trying to rhym each word ;

    Chalo Bhool He Jatay Hain !

    Chalo bhool he jatay hain,
    tumhari bataon ko,
    Un be-maqsad yadon ko,
    Beetay lamhain hain saray,
    Bas bhool bholaiyan jaise hain,
    Rastay bhi gumnaam hon jinke,
    Aur manzil bhi be-nishaan si ho,
    Chalo bhool he jatay hain,
    Band kar lain ge hum rastay saray,
    Ab ki baar na roain ge,
    Or'rh ke kambal sard ruton main,
    Bati (light) bujha kar tan ke lambi,
    Is bar bohat sa soain ge,
    Ik takiya he bheegay ga na!
    Chalo Bhool He Jatay Hain..

    P.S(I have feeling to continue it with some twists tell me if you feel same.. as I feel this plot can bring much more. I am not agood writer just a learner please encourage me if you liked it GURU jee ( sandeep balan) like others I would love to save comments from you with some tips difinately as I know I have made some definate blunders)

    P.S.S(Please your comments and suggestions are more than welcome... comm'mon i am waiting)

    - illusiOn!


    1. wow u write superb
      actually a story on similar lines were on my mind too but since u have done the needful i guess my work is less.....
      actually this story made me remember a lot of things n memories ....feeling of how heartbreaking it is to lose someone even though its right to lose than be together....

      u shd continue it further wd love reading it
      loved it :-)

    2. very powerful! I could feel the emotions of the girl! :)

      You maybe a learner but a good writer!

    3. Well Inisiya, first of all let me tell you that the plot is very good, as you said ... Liked it too much and also, the flow of your thoughts - appreciated!!

      However, I think this can be an end of the story here and its better you do not take it any further ... the main theme may be lost in search of a twist!!

      Having said that ... you are welcome to write more on this, if you feel like ...

      And I wanted to mention one more thing ... there are a lot of grammatical mistakes and more spelling mistakes ... I know you are new to this facet of writing, but if you would use MS Word or something like that, you would be helped with the spellings and grammar ... one more thing ... I have always told this to many members here ... I would like to reiterate:
      Please Do not use SMS language anywhere in a prose. And not even, when you are writing SMS Text messages ... I understand that people use this language to give a feel, but I do not see any literal reason for this ... for what you can express with full words is much more important and vibrant than using this kind of language ... And practicing this will surely help improving each and everybody here!!!

      I told all this, because I do the same and really care to see flawless writing ... A good writer is a combination of two things - a good thought and a good write up... I'm sure people here have beautiful thoughts and plots to write on, but it is similarly important to have a good write up! The write up is just a tool that you use to express your beautiful thoughts. Once the tool is working fine, there will be no stopping to your feelings!!

      Best of Luck!!
      Cheers ...

    4. No, I dont want you to continue it, the girl should realize the fact that he's just playing around and should ditch him and get back to normal.

      Life is way more that some stupid moron throwing morsels of admiration in your direction and you getting flattered over the same!

      Ps. as Usual Loved it :)

    5. i truly agree with Asbah here..

      you are writing so good, girlie..

      just check on the spellings and the grammatical errors.. and you will rock!! :D

    6. loved it gurl..

      well i would suggest if u could take up as a different part of the story.. then do continue.. otherwise this is just beautiful..loved it..

      well isn't this pretty mch what ppl go through when they break up.. all the emotions..sadness.. hatred..

    7. insiiiiiii....a big hug....the thoughts were beautiful.....the way you put it across in that genuine fashion speaks a lot about this straight from the heart post...and what blunders are you talking about insi dear....we look at emotions that go into the post...of what the writer wants to convey...and its those thoughts that we praise...not the grammar n the spellings...ofcourse they are important...n you should pay attention to them n correct them whenver possible...but that should never be a deterrent to you penning down your are killing the storywriter within you if you are suffocating a piece you want to convey to the world by not doing so for fear of blunders...

      Way to go insi...way to go...try focussing some more on the emotions of this girl while looking/reading the message than explaining how she accessed the message on her mobile by clicking the right/left button. That would help the reader guage the thoughts running in the protagonists mind. Keep penning such beautiful pieces insi...

      And...grrrrrrrrrr...dare you call me a Guru again chote a friend...a learner myself...i will kill asbah for propogating this...he he he ;-)

    8. and yaa...its better to leave this post with this ending.....twists will kill the beauty of this piece...i love it the way it is ;-)

    9. Ah! m speechless right now.. choked with emotions.. will tell about it some other day !! this was just brilliant :)

    10. Full of emotions,,, Illusion ( wats ur name?? :) )

      Straight from the heart.... n it was a lovely read..!! :)

      I'll give u a suggestion- After writing it, please do check for spelling mistakes. I find there r a lot of typos... I'm sure this wasn't read twice before posting.. Doing that would be first step..:)
      Try writing on MS Word instead of blogger.. It will indicate ur spelling mistakes there.. u can copy-paste it here later... :)

      But lovely, emotional story Illu.. ;) Way to go....


    11. ohh..dat ws a truly touching piece insi..was totally glued to it...really..such powerful emotions...
      it ws really do such guys exist!!

      u conveyed it really well!

    12. mysterious gal
      Thank you gal!
      i am so much thankful to u!

    13. R.V
      :D thanks for the compliments such main it means alot to me!

    14. TAN
      See i told you ur comments do matters.. warna itna acha acha mujhe kon batyega.. an din such beautiful way i am thnakful tan apki guidence i will be using right from my very next post!
      Jis din main kuch ban gayi ur name will b dere in the list of my mentors... my teachers!

      As you say asbah!

    15. Pink Orchid
      I already have taken notice thank you kajal for likness! for the faith

      I ma ending this here only not prolonging it as on orders ( d advices) f my mentors!


      i am have taken notice as i said above and for ur compliments guru jee i was having tears reading you praising me seriously... you compliment me.. i am surely obliged..

      In hope asbah you could relate this one two u as i can relate it to myself ..

    17. Pretty
      Like always my lovely lady *bow* thanks you janab!

      I am insiya aka illusion - thanks for d suggestion i wll surel try not to repeat my mistakes!

      Thanks! wt else to say i dun knw completely sppechless on such praise *hugs* to all!

    18. Inisiya,
      I just wanted to tell you how to use the right tools to get it right there! And we learn from each other here ... so, teachers are all who reads you and point out your (probable) faults... this is how it works in a group ... I've already learnt so many things by just being here, in TWL ... I'm proud and happy of the same...

      Keep writing ...

    19. that is one brilliant writeup! :)

      long, but interesting to read! :)

      brilliant insi!

    20. ps: i have short memory span, so will read again l8r if i forget this beauty! :)


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