hmmm the horrible night of my lyf

yes atlast bhai got to know abot my cel.my frenship. i wasnt scared but i was cold. he scolded me;slapped me n did wateva . nitish just my fren hehe........um sayng it from last nite.
i don wanna write bou dis even
may be net disconnect ho jaye .........will come back n will start again my rollacosta ride of emotions

KEEPING A JOURNAL

I always love writing but writing wat?? no doubt poetry is something dat i dont have to give a second thught while writing. the second option dat always existed for me was to jot down a diary .but wid tym i was tilted towards journal.maintaining journal is one of the bbest personnel growth initiative one can ever take.EArlier i was a bit confused bout jornal and a diary but den i came to know a journal is not a diary.a diary is a placw where u recrds ur events but a jornal is a place where u analyse n evaluate them.hmmmmm i do agree that writing down ur personnel experiences along wid the lessons u have learnt from dem will make u wiser wid each passing day.even it clearify ur intentions so dat u remain focussed on things u truly count.

Keeping a journal provides one-to -one conversation wid urself. in this case it has really helped to know exactly wat i am n wat i want n the thing dat truly counts for me in my life.
i startd thinking deep n moreover it helped me to be a thinker and that too a clearer thinker.
and my personnell journal,blogger n my poetries definitely has encouraged my imagination n defined my dreams in a more enlightened way.

I am extremely thankful to some of my frein like tushar n aakif who showd me dis way.n yeah i feel a transformed person .remember ur life is a worth thinking bout ,even its worth writing about!
sheetal_madaan958@yahoo.co.in

Let me keep the memories....

Let me keep the memories,
Of the day we first talked,
Down the lane of tender love,
As we both first walked...

Let me keep the memories,
Of the day you held my hand,
As we saw the setting sun,
And dug our fingers in the sand...

Let me keep the memories,
Of the day we had our first fight,
We decided to part ways,
And I stayed awake and cried all night...

Let me keep the memories,
Of the time we talked all night,
Of love and how much we mean to each other,
Till the sun shone and we saw daylight...

Let me keep the memories,
Of the day we played our wedding day,
We took our vows and exchanged rings,
Wasn't it so much fun all the way?...

Let me keep the memories,
Of when I had fallen ill,
And you were on my bedside all day long,
And had promised that you always will!...

Let me keep those memories,
For life has forced us to part our ways,
And though we can't be together any more,
These precious memories will always stay!!!

Dedicated to all those who ever felt the magic of being in love for the first time... and the pain of losing their first love!!!

Moments....

Moments of love,
Moments of pain,
Moments of loss,
Moments of gain,
Moments that came,
And moments that went,
Moments that you and I,
Have spent,
Engraved in my heart,
Forever they' ll be,
Will remind me of you,
Till eternity!!!!

tuesday fun

till now i cnt believe i seriously called tushar's mum. n the funniest part is dat i told her at i jus called u to say ''namaste''. hehe don know uske ghar mein kya scene hoga? lol. but i thot ki he might hv informed his mum ki i ll be calling . but damn the way auntie interrogated me lol was tough for me to answer .
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hmmm the good part today ....atlst i did my hair rebonding .......um loving dis straight look . it takes a hell of care to these hairs . i don hv to wet mt hair for 3 days . n bad part it started raining aftr salsa clas . i jus told him ...um not going out in rain .....n the sweetest guesture shown by him was ''shud i take out my shirt n u cover ur hair''. hehe loved this thing but din showd dat .
The way he opened my car door n placed me thr so nicely .....hmmmm good one. n how can i forget his daily duty to offer me glass of water aftr salsa . i really cnt let him go so easily jus bcoz um not feeling for him . his care n nice nature ........i wont get it again i know dis thing. lel c how this chapter turns out ? god knows.
----------------------------------------------------
sheetal_madaan958@yahoo.co.in
09878444508

this nite wont come again......i played or he did dont knw ....

hii 12:05:49 AM aakifkichloo2006: hi
12:10:23 AM sheetal_madaan958: so u hv startd walking dats gud
12:11:00 AM aakifkichloo2006: i am his mom
12:11:41 AM aakifkichloo2006: how are you
12:12:03 AM sheetal_madaan958: um good auntie
12:12:35 AM aakifkichloo2006: ok by
12:12:56 AM aakifkichloo2006: ok good night
12:13:05 AM aakifkichloo2006: byeeeeeee
12:13:20 AM sheetal_madaan958: aakif is dis u or not?
12:13:47 AM aakifkichloo2006: no
12:14:04 AM aakifkichloo2006: what
12:14:24 AM sheetal_madaan958: um really sorry
12:14:28 AM sheetal_madaan958: goodnyt
12:14:36 AM sheetal_madaan958: bbyeee......n take care
12:14:47 AM aakifkichloo2006: ya its me now
12:14:52 AM aakifkichloo2006: ma was here
12:14:56 AM aakifkichloo2006: shes sitin besides me
12:15:13 AM sheetal_madaan958: oh ahh okk
12:15:18 AM sheetal_madaan958: hehe
12:15:28 AM aakifkichloo2006: cum on hotmaail msgr
12:15:33 AM aakifkichloo2006: y dont u cum on thee
12:15:37 AM aakifkichloo2006: i made u an id now
12:15:41 AM aakifkichloo2006: wats the prob nw
12:15:43 AM sheetal_madaan958: but
12:15:55 AM sheetal_madaan958: wats the problm here .......i din understand
12:16:13 AM sheetal_madaan958: i mean u said ur gal has this id n password
12:16:20 AM aakifkichloo2006: my gal has all my pass words except hotmail
12:16:23 AM aakifkichloo2006: u get it ornow
12:16:26 AM aakifkichloo2006: or not
12:16:54 AM sheetal_madaan958: but why to talk if she doesnt like it ....kisi se darr ke baat karna but y
12:16:56 AM aakifkichloo2006: she has all my pass words
12:17:08 AM aakifkichloo2006: all my email ids and everything except hotmail
12:17:10 AM sheetal_madaan958: u cn change ur password cant u
12:17:22 AM aakifkichloo2006: no i dont want to
12:17:28 AM sheetal_madaan958: ok
12:17:37 AM aakifkichloo2006: ok i think we shudnt talk
12:17:43 AM aakifkichloo2006: u r rite
12:18:00 AM aakifkichloo2006: we shudnt talk if she doesnt lyk itthanks 4 opening my eyes wide
12:18:07 AM aakifkichloo2006: just as thewy were widely shut b4
12:18:30 AM sheetal_madaan958: they were never shut dear .........
12:18:50 AM aakifkichloo2006: i know wat they were n are
12:18:56 AM aakifkichloo2006: u dont hav to tell me daT
12:19:10 AM sheetal_madaan958: um not telling u anyhtng aakif .........
12:19:51 AM aakifkichloo2006: ma not besides me nw
12:20:01 AM aakifkichloo2006: but i think we shudnt talk
12:20:11 AM aakifkichloo2006: y to talk if ma gal doesnt lyk it
12:20:13 AM aakifkichloo2006: wats the point
12:20:16 AM aakifkichloo2006: i pity u baby
12:20:20 AM aakifkichloo2006: i sincerely pity u
12:20:22 AM aakifkichloo2006: huh
12:20:51 AM sheetal_madaan958: okk if its again wat u think? den i wont say a word . dont pity me .....
12:21:01 AM aakifkichloo2006: i wont
12:21:06 AM aakifkichloo2006: let me juz go to hel
12:21:07 AM aakifkichloo2006: thats it
12:21:22 AM aakifkichloo2006: no point in discussin wid a dumbo lyk any gal iz
12:21:29 AM sheetal_madaan958: again the same thing
12:21:32 AM sheetal_madaan958: thanksss 12:21:44 AM aakifkichloo2006: enjoy wid ur guy 12:21:45 AM aakifkichloo2006: bye
12:26:43 AM aakifkichloo2006: do listen to this song
12:26:55 AM aakifkichloo2006: in pieces by linkin park if u hav tym
12:26:56 AM aakifkichloo2006: ok
12:26:59 AM aakifkichloo2006: c ya
12:37:48 AM sheetal_madaan958: okk thanks again
12:38:18 AM aakifkichloo2006: ok let us keep aside our egos 4 a while
12:38:30 AM aakifkichloo2006: let us just sit down calm down and diiscuss
12:39:00 AM sheetal_madaan958: ego? aah ?wat u ohh yea wat we gonna discuss
12:39:08 AM aakifkichloo2006: i think v need this to calm our nerves
12:39:22 AM sheetal_madaan958: hmmm
12:39:30 AM aakifkichloo2006: d reason i hate gals u know this
12:39:32 AM aakifkichloo2006: huh?
12:39:37 AM sheetal_madaan958: no i dont
12:39:48 AM aakifkichloo2006: the first and the formost reason is that they act as they know nthing 12:39:55 AM aakifkichloo2006: nthing at all
12:40:10 AM aakifkichloo2006: as if they are as innocent as a newborn child
12:40:14 AM sheetal_madaan958: u loved me n u now lov ur gal.....u used to hate gal
12:40:29 AM aakifkichloo2006: n i still do
12:40:30 AM aakifkichloo2006: lol
12:40:38 AM aakifkichloo2006: n i will al my lyf mayb
12:40:47 AM sheetal_madaan958: okk thanks again for dis
12:40:47 AM aakifkichloo2006: let us just be cool
12:40:50 AM aakifkichloo2006: n chilld out
12:41:03 AM aakifkichloo2006: yea chilld out 4 the very reason that v r no more in a relationship
12:41:44 AM sheetal_madaan958: hey um cool.......dats y i needed no discussion .yes i know we r not in relation u dont hv to tel me dis
12:42:20 AM sheetal_madaan958: u know wat
12:42:44 AM aakifkichloo2006: ...
12:42:56 AM sheetal_madaan958: ...?
12:43:00 AM sheetal_madaan958: ohh
12:43:03 AM sheetal_madaan958: i understud
12:43:08 AM sheetal_madaan958: shud i guess lol
12:43:37 AM aakifkichloo2006: ?
12:43:47 AM sheetal_madaan958: ... means wat hehe
12:44:05 AM sheetal_madaan958: rite?
12:44:21 AM aakifkichloo2006: yea nw i know that u r cool
12:44:24 AM aakifkichloo2006: n chilld out
12:44:29 AM aakifkichloo2006: n dont know wat else
12:44:36 AM sheetal_madaan958: hmmmm
12:45:28 AM sheetal_madaan958: u know i really pity on me u said me such bad words abhi without my any faut .......um still talking to u so nicely ...don knw y
12:46:10 AM sheetal_madaan958: acha lets discuss now...
12:46:19 AM sheetal_madaan958: :)
12:46:33 AM aakifkichloo2006: ii just dont know ats goin on between us
12:46:43 AM aakifkichloo2006: its just affecting me so damn much
12:46:47 AM aakifkichloo2006: n i dont know abt u
12:46:50 AM aakifkichloo2006: i really dont
12:47:11 AM sheetal_madaan958: if i hv the right to ask u ? wats affecting u
12:47:58 AM aakifkichloo2006: u
12:48:02 AM aakifkichloo2006: the answer is u
12:48:04 AM aakifkichloo2006: U
12:48:05 AM aakifkichloo2006: U
12:48:06 AM aakifkichloo2006: U
12:48:10 AM aakifkichloo2006: shu i repeat it again
12:48:13 AM sheetal_madaan958: me?
12:48:14 AM aakifkichloo2006: as if u din know
12:48:22 AM aakifkichloo2006: thats wat i say abt gals
12:48:24 AM aakifkichloo2006: lol
12:48:56 AM sheetal_madaan958: i really don know ...i mean i know we were in relation ...u moved on u love ur gal......den wats the problm
12:49:24 AM sheetal_madaan958: u tell me wat shud i do? so dat i dont affect u?
12:50:26 AM sheetal_madaan958: ??
12:50:31 AM sheetal_madaan958: btau plz
12:50:50 AM sheetal_madaan958: if i cn help u in any way .......i will 12:51:09 AM sheetal_madaan958: n u know watever i do ....i do it 4 u
12:51:51 AM aakifkichloo2006: i moved on n thers no problem
12:51:55 AM aakifkichloo2006: uu sayin this?
12:52:43 AM sheetal_madaan958: see aakif ...wats affecting u thoda bahot to mujhe smaj aa rha hai ...but the main thing um really not getting
12:53:37 AM sheetal_madaan958: u only told me again n again i moved ON .......we r happy n i jus thot of being happy in urs happiness ......gandhigiri u know
12:54:25 AM sheetal_madaan958: ;)
12:54:37 AM aakifkichloo2006: n wat abt ur guy?
12:54:45 AM aakifkichloo2006: where does he stand in al thiss?
12:55:40 AM sheetal_madaan958: he knows everythng
12:55:52 AM aakifkichloo2006: we talkiin rite nw 12:55:55 AM aakifkichloo2006: he know this too 12:56:01 AM aakifkichloo2006: ?
12:56:07 AM aakifkichloo2006: he knows this too?
12:56:23 AM sheetal_madaan958: yea may be, he z my bstfereind .......n he wont mind
12:56:33 AM aakifkichloo2006: n who am i?
12:56:51 AM sheetal_madaan958: n who am i 4 u?
12:57:01 AM aakifkichloo2006: thats wat the prob is
12:57:04 AM aakifkichloo2006: samaj aaya?
12:57:10 AM sheetal_madaan958: shayd
12:57:24 AM aakifkichloo2006: so?
12:57:27 AM aakifkichloo2006: solution?
12:57:39 AM sheetal_madaan958: u know it better n always
12:58:06 AM aakifkichloo2006: wow never expected in this world ki i will write this word 'solution' n then put a question mark over it
12:58:08 AM aakifkichloo2006: lol
12:58:12 AM aakifkichloo2006: solution?
12:58:18 AM aakifkichloo2006: sounds ajeebly weird
12:58:37 AM sheetal_madaan958: really ajeeb harkat i must say on ur part 12:59:12 AM sheetal_madaan958: c jitni mujmein samaj hai ....utna hi main abhi thoda bhot samaj paa rhi hun......
12:59:32 AM sheetal_madaan958: acha ek baat pucho leavng all dis behind

12:59:43 AM aakifkichloo2006: ya] 1:00:11 AM sheetal_madaan958: hw was the pics .......frst tym i have send so loads of pics in one row don know y
1:01:00 AM aakifkichloo2006: they got me all messed up
1:01:13 AM aakifkichloo2006: bus i can say only this 4 them
1:01:14 AM aakifkichloo2006: lol
1:01:18 AM aakifkichloo2006: hope u understand
1:01:26 AM sheetal_madaan958: is messed up the rite word?
1:01:56 AM aakifkichloo2006: as far as the situation z goin.......no other word sounds correct 1:02:08 AM aakifkichloo2006: n appropriate
1:02:11 AM sheetal_madaan958: they messed u up its fyn but u dont ever mess them up 1:03:11 AM aakifkichloo2006: like
1:03:24 AM aakifkichloo2006: no need to say anythiing
1:03:32 AM sheetal_madaan958: like u did me abhi
1:03:34 AM aakifkichloo2006: i think v hav discussed this b4
1:03:47 AM sheetal_madaan958: :)
1:03:48 AM aakifkichloo2006: n u know i dont lyk this
1:04:08 AM sheetal_madaan958: yea i know it all
1:04:25 AM aakifkichloo2006: kabhi kehte ho u know it all kabhi i know it all
1:04:31 AM aakifkichloo2006: u r only messing me upo more 1:05:16 AM sheetal_madaan958: i don know whr this convo is leading us? i jus hv a slight idea about wat u r meaning abhi ......
. 1:05:41 AM aakifkichloo2006: n may i know slightlyabt that idea of urs
1:06:29 AM sheetal_madaan958: aakif ....um seriously terrified by urs dis gestures n words
1:06:36 AM aakifkichloo2006: cn i just irritate u 4 a while
1:06:37 AM aakifkichloo2006: ?
1:06:53 AM sheetal_madaan958: okk if u
1:06:54 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O
1:06:55 AM sheetal_madaan958:
ok 1:06:57 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O 1:06:59 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O 1:07:01 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O 1:07:03 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O 1:07:05 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O 1:07:06 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O 1:07:08 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O 1:07:10 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O 1:07:12 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O 1:07:14 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O 1:07:16 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O
1:07:17 AM aakifkichloo2006: 1:07:20 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-:-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O 1:07:22 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O 1:07:23 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O 1:07:25 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O 1:07:27 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O 1:07:29 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O 1:07:31 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O 1:07:33 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O 1:07:35 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O 1:07:37 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O 1:07:39 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O :-O
1:07:40 AM sheetal_madaan958: u know um not al all irritated but i feel like shooting dem all lol
1:07:42 AM sheetal_madaan958: stop
1:07:50 AM aakifkichloo2006: ok
1:08:11 AM sheetal_madaan958: aakif wat next?
1:08:24 AM aakifkichloo2006: dont ask me
1:08:29 AM aakifkichloo2006: even i feel weak sumtyms
1:08:37 AM aakifkichloo2006: i dont hav to be strong al the tym
1:08:41 AM aakifkichloo2006: n i dont want to b too
1:08:44 AM aakifkichloo2006: n thats it
1:08:55 AM sheetal_madaan958: thats it
1:08:58 AM sheetal_madaan958: great 1:09:14 AM aakifkichloo2006: thats wat is called as sarcasm
1:09:30 AM sheetal_madaan958: no ....i call it as gals
1:10:16 AM aakifkichloo2006: sarcasm = gals
1:10:22 AM aakifkichloo2006: nai baat bani nai
1:10:23 AM sheetal_madaan958: whrs ur vodka? hehe .....u r weak this tym
1:10:50 AM aakifkichloo2006: so?
1:11:26 AM sheetal_madaan958: so? wen i drink vodka i forget the past night convo's always?wats up on ur side
1:11:36 AM sheetal_madaan958: lol
1:12:00 AM aakifkichloo2006: u do?
1:12:03 AM aakifkichloo2006: i know u dont
1:12:11 AM sheetal_madaan958: i do
1:12:27 AM aakifkichloo2006: i know u dont
1:12:32 AM sheetal_madaan958: but i do
1:12:42 AM aakifkichloo2006: i know u dont
1:12:51 AM sheetal_madaan958: third n last tym i DO
1:13:04 AM aakifkichloo2006: i know u do
1:13:10 AM aakifkichloo2006: :-O
1:13:13 AM sheetal_madaan958: YEA perfect
1:14:21 AM sheetal_madaan958: aakif wat u r tryng to say me in tints of words .......um unable to get dem the way u wanna show
1:14:52 AM sheetal_madaan958: u tell me am i horrifying u in ur dreams ?is dis affecting u?
1:14:58 AM sheetal_madaan958: lol
1:15:08 AM aakifkichloo2006: heeeeeeeeehoooooooooooo essel world
1:15:44 AM sheetal_madaan958: u need to go out thr wid ur gal ....really u shud jaldi theek hojau
1:16:03 AM aakifkichloo2006: n u really need to shut up
1:16:19 AM aakifkichloo2006: chhal this was our last convo just too infrm u
1:16:28 AM aakifkichloo2006: ab i know at aour relation is
1:16:34 AM aakifkichloo2006: its a fucked up mess
1:16:38 AM sheetal_madaan958: wait
1:16:42 AM aakifkichloo2006: n i just want to b free from it
1:17:17 AM sheetal_madaan958: fuckd up mess?dont use such language for godsake
1:17:22 AM aakifkichloo2006: hmmmmm
1:17:29 AM aakifkichloo2006: no more language 4rm now on
1:17:40 AM aakifkichloo2006: silence is the thing mayb
1:17:55 AM aakifkichloo2006: it was gud wen u were on ignore n not on my orkut account 1:18:04 AM aakifkichloo2006: n that will be the case again my dear
1:18:05 AM sheetal_madaan958: dont u consider me as humanbeing though
1:18:13 AM aakifkichloo2006: not me but u deserve this
1:18:21 AM sheetal_madaan958: hey listen to me
1:18:25 AM aakifkichloo2006: i just try n gi u wat u deserve n thats it
1:19:22 AM aakifkichloo2006: chal say the last gud byes honey
1:19:23 AM sheetal_madaan958: i deserve it .okk i know bettr wat i deserve ,how cn u be sooo rude .um sorry n thanku for all such nice things .um immensely hurted
1:19:26 AM aakifkichloo2006: sach mein
1:19:42 AM aakifkichloo2006: thers no word lyk hurted in dictionary 1:19:48 AM aakifkichloo2006: its hurt
1:19:55 AM aakifkichloo2006: my last lessonsto u
1:19:56 AM aakifkichloo2006: lol
1:20:00 AM aakifkichloo2006: chal bye bye dear
1:20:03 AM sheetal_madaan958: hehehe
1:20:09 AM sheetal_madaan958: okies ......
1:20:25 AM aakifkichloo2006: um thankful; to god that u managed to smile
1:20:28 AM aakifkichloo2006: keep smiling
1:20:40 AM aakifkichloo2006: chal wich me luck n leave me alone
1:20:41 AM sheetal_madaan958: gandhigiri is still the best .......do the worst wid me n i ll b always good wid u
1:21:02 AM aakifkichloo2006: do the worst wid me
1:21:03 AM aakifkichloo2006: huh
1:21:10 AM aakifkichloo2006: u live in a fools paradise
1:21:18 AM aakifkichloo2006: chal koi nai
1:21:22 AM aakifkichloo2006: as i say no worries
1:21:29 AM aakifkichloo2006: likh do ab gud bye
1:21:57 AM sheetal_madaan958: leave u alone? u were free from long tym back .yes i do live coz wats happening wid me presenly dats the best i cn have .ye sab itna kuch isliye tha .......clever mind
1:22:52 AM sheetal_madaan958: blame it all on me dis tym.......i wont affect u more ......is se jada humilation kya kr sakte ho meri dear .
1:22:57 AM sheetal_madaan958: gudbbyeeee
1:23:19 AM aakifkichloo2006: um sorry but i wont ever touch ur emotions eva
1:23:25 AM aakifkichloo2006: neither gud nor bad
1:23:30 AM aakifkichloo2006: so ur free too
1:23:35 AM aakifkichloo2006: bye bye n tajke care
1:23:49 AM aakifkichloo2006: n yeah i will delete u from every where i hav u
1:23:50 AM aakifkichloo2006: ok
1:24:03 AM aakifkichloo2006: um tellin u coz i think u shud know
1:24:06 AM sheetal_madaan958: goodbyyeee..........i was always free n i thot aap bhi ho ..... do wateva u want to do.
1:24:16 AM aakifkichloo2006: hmmmm
1:24:39 AM aakifkichloo2006: takke gud care of urself n best of luck for the great future u hava head of u
1:24:43 AM sheetal_madaan958: thanks iss se jada to mujhe kuch aur aata nahi hai .......delete my pics tooo
1:25:03 AM aakifkichloo2006: yeah sure i will...unki to bohut tension hod\gi aapko as i know 1:25:11 AM aakifkichloo2006: but dnt wrry um nt a crook
1:25:50 AM sheetal_madaan958: always a bad ending n always i never wanted it .......mujhe koi tension nahi hai ........maine pyar se bheji thi .......aur har jagah se delete kar rahe the to pc mein unhe rakh kar bhi kya kroge
1:26:15 AM aakifkichloo2006: chal enjoy ur life n dont think bad of me
1:26:18 AM sheetal_madaan958: i wanted u as a frein but nevaminds .........
1:26:21 AM sheetal_madaan958: bbye
1:26:28 AM sheetal_madaan958: dont wish me any gudluck
1:26:35 AM aakifkichloo2006: n no need to think gud of me n for me either
1:26:47 AM sheetal_madaan958: u dont hv to remind me dat
1:26:50 AM aakifkichloo2006: bye
1:26:53 AM sheetal_madaan958: okk wait
1:27:51 AM sheetal_madaan958: plzz dont behave dat foolish ....y u always do dis . lets be a nice humanbeings n if u wana delete do it ...but dont like dis
1:28:30 AM aakifkichloo2006: um nnt behaving foolish
1:28:36 AM aakifkichloo2006: u deserve this treatment
1:28:43 AM aakifkichloo2006: n believe me u do
1:28:44 AM sheetal_madaan958: wat i hv affected u in these days .....abhi samaj aaya . sorry for dat . but wat i DID
1:28:46 AM aakifkichloo2006: u do
1:29:04 AM aakifkichloo2006: hamesha late hi samaj aata hai aapko
1:29:05 AM sheetal_madaan958: U OWE ME AN EXPLANATION N u do
1:29:15 AM aakifkichloo2006: n i still wonder ki kya samja hoga aapne
1:29:26 AM sheetal_madaan958: dat u loved me lol
1:29:30 AM aakifkichloo2006: i owe u nthin honey 4 ur kinf information
1:29:35 AM aakifkichloo2006: nthin at all
1:29:57 AM aakifkichloo2006: u were n will always be late at understanding things
1:30:05 AM aakifkichloo2006: even i wanted u to be my frined
1:30:08 AM aakifkichloo2006: my best friend
1:30:17 AM aakifkichloo2006: but urego is way ove u
1:30:28 AM sheetal_madaan958: my ego?
1:30:33 AM aakifkichloo2006: u r flying rite now but u will hav too cum down one day
1:30:35 AM aakifkichloo2006: u will
1:30:45 AM sheetal_madaan958: i hv never let it come in btwn us
1:30:50 AM aakifkichloo2006: a high headed person is nevr a gudperson
1:30:53 AM sheetal_madaan958: um not flyng
1:30:58 AM sheetal_madaan958: listen n stop
1:30:59 AM aakifkichloo2006: u r mada'me
1:31:22 AM aakifkichloo2006: u hav voice facility on yahoo?
1:32:45 AM sheetal_madaan958: frst of all i wana clear u bou my stuff.if u think um flyng for which reason u know it better may be . um into a relation wid a boy whoz jus my bestfreind . i cudnt love him coz i cudnt forget u . we r happy as freinds
1:33:00 AM sheetal_madaan958: n um not flyng for anyreason although i have reasons
1:33:30 AM aakifkichloo2006: do u hav a head fone n a mic attached to ur computer?
1:33:46 AM sheetal_madaan958: yes i do . but my mom sleeping next to me
1:33:54 AM aakifkichloo2006: same here
1:33:57 AM aakifkichloo2006: haha
1:33:58 AM sheetal_madaan958: i can call u if u don mind.
1:34:02 AM aakifkichloo2006: waat acoincdnce
1:34:09 AM sheetal_madaan958: haha
1:34:18 AM aakifkichloo2006: no actally i cant talk
1:34:26 AM aakifkichloo2006: i thought u will speak n i will write
1:34:26 AM sheetal_madaan958: yea i know
1:34:36 AM sheetal_madaan958: hehe 1:34:37 AM
aakifkichloo2006: u take ages to write
1:34:44 AM sheetal_madaan958: yea lol
1:35:03 AM aakifkichloo2006: luk gal v can be the best together
1:35:08 AM aakifkichloo2006: v dont hav to part
1:35:16 AM aakifkichloo2006: v just hav to remove the inhibitions v hav
1:35:20 AM sheetal_madaan958: u hv been messing up my life since long
1:35:21 AM aakifkichloo2006: ssach mein
1:35:45 AM sheetal_madaan958: sach mein i cudnt do good wid anyone else coz i was n um doing gud wid u
1:36:20 AM aakifkichloo2006: but u r nt doin any gud to me
1:36:29 AM aakifkichloo2006: u find the place where it hurts the most
1:36:37 AM sheetal_madaan958: evn um not doin any bad to u?am i?
1:36:37 AM aakifkichloo2006: n then kick just at the rit spot
1:36:53 AM sheetal_madaan958: u too
1:37:04 AM aakifkichloo2006: nai nai
1:37:20 AM aakifkichloo2006: u know i hav been almost cheatin on my gal just to talk to u 1:37:29 AM aakifkichloo2006: n u know i dont lyk to cheat on any
1 1:37:39 AM aakifkichloo2006: but i do it sumtymes just 4 u
1:37:45 AM aakifkichloo2006: n then wat i get 4rm u
1:37:55 AM aakifkichloo2006: no's n no's n no's
1:37:55 AM sheetal_madaan958: love
1:37:59 AM aakifkichloo2006: n idiotic stuff 1:38:03 AM sheetal_madaan958: love
1:38:06 AM aakifkichloo2006: no i dont get it
1:38:10 AM aakifkichloo2006: i really dont
1:38:12 AM sheetal_madaan958: love
1:38:17 AM aakifkichloo2006: no i dont
1:38:19 AM aakifkichloo2006: sach mein
1:38:25 AM sheetal_madaan958: u get it .....jus u dont c it
1:38:30 AM aakifkichloo2006: nai
1:38:57 AM aakifkichloo2006: i was dyin to c u one day..it was feelin devastated ...wanted to c a glimpse of u
1:39:02 AM aakifkichloo2006: but wat i got 4rm u
1:39:10 AM aakifkichloo2006: um wearing less so i cant
1:39:17 AM aakifkichloo2006: cummin u say that to me
1:39:19 AM aakifkichloo2006: to me
1:39:41 AM aakifkichloo2006: u break me jaan u really do
1:40:32 AM sheetal_madaan958: i reaaly cnt write .......it will take ages to believe all dis .i love u 1:41:16 AM sheetal_madaan958: um not innocent um not child too .........n i know wat um sayng....
1:41:48 AM sheetal_madaan958: i love u n dats the biggest truth i know ......i cnt cheat anyone so um sayng all dis
1:43:08 AM sheetal_madaan958: my salsa patner ........he loves me immensely ...i was so cold wid him . i left it in btwn coz i was not comfortable wid him ...so cold
1:43:43 AM aakifkichloo2006: n wat abt ur guy?
1:44:28 AM sheetal_madaan958: he was the only guy ...he proposed me i said no .......he did again ......i askd him for tym.it took two months .i said yes
1:44:52 AM sheetal_madaan958: but aftr few days ifelt i cudnt give him wat he deserves....
1:45:04 AM aakifkichloo2006: so? 1:45:47 AM
aakifkichloo2006: then?
1:45:53 AM sheetal_madaan958: so .......i told him bou u ? he said he dont cares .....i told him 4 days back dat aakig msgd me on yahoo sayng he loved me
1:46:23 AM sheetal_madaan958: but still i told him i ll be faithful to u always .......but i was deceiving me only
1:47:01 AM sheetal_madaan958: i hvnt broke up .......but i hv told him dat i still need more tym to get bck on right path may be 6 months
1:47:21 AM sheetal_madaan958: n he z ready to wait ........n he is waiting ,,,,,n i know he ll 1:47:47 AM sheetal_madaan958: n he know dat um talkin to u abhi
1:48:05 AM sheetal_madaan958: n he has msgd me sayng abhi ki thanks sheetal
1:48:11 AM sheetal_madaan958: i hv no reply to him
1:48:42 AM aakifkichloo2006: did he eva touch u?
1:49:22 AM sheetal_madaan958: in some salsa movements ........i never saw in his eyes kabhi so i never felt dat touch too
1:50:52 AM sheetal_madaan958: does it matter?
1:51:09 AM aakifkichloo2006: answer me
1:51:49 AM sheetal_madaan958: i hv told u he touched me during dance
1:52:05 AM aakifkichloo2006: and
1:52:10 AM sheetal_madaan958: dats it ........
1:52:24 AM sheetal_madaan958: he held my hand during dance n i never did
1:52:43 AM sheetal_madaan958: i left it in 6 days coz it was killing me inside
1:53:17 AM sheetal_madaan958: i will loose him as a frend abhi i know .....but i don care 1:53:34 AM aakifkichloo2006: luk the prob is that as u know ii got committed a few months back
1:53:45 AM sheetal_madaan958: yes i know
1:54:51 AM sheetal_madaan958: aakif look i jus wanna know ..wat ''WE'' want ? but um asking u wat ''U'' want? coz its all wat matters to me the most
1:55:49 AM sheetal_madaan958: ?
1:56:37 AM sheetal_madaan958: ?
1:57:30 AM sheetal_madaan958: r u thinkin or doin smthing else lol
1:57:54 AM aakifkichloo2006: i want u.........i want u to be the same old sheetal n i want u wid nin inhibitions.....luk i stiill feel that i own u n i hav every rite to own u....bus thats it...
1:58:06 AM aakifkichloo2006: wil u b that 4 me?
1:58:25 AM aakifkichloo2006: can u promise me dat?
1:58:41 AM sheetal_madaan958: inhibitions?
1:58:46 AM sheetal_madaan958: wat kinda
1:59:25 AM sheetal_madaan958: i hv always been the same for u always ........ 1:59:29 AM sheetal_madaan958: n yes i will
2:00:22 AM aakifkichloo2006: promise?
2:00:25 AM sheetal_madaan958: i said three times before dat I DO ........ i was jus sayng in dat sense only 2:00:37 AM sheetal_madaan958: i mean isi sense mein lol
2:00:48 AM sheetal_madaan958: do u really need a promise?
2:01:00 AM aakifkichloo2006: ya
2:01:04 AM aakifkichloo2006: very much
2:01:13 AM sheetal_madaan958: my words r far more dan just a promise
2:01:23 AM sheetal_madaan958: vaise yea i promise u
2:01:31 AM sheetal_madaan958: hv u noticd one thing
2:01:49 AM aakifkichloo2006: u tel me
2:02:16 AM sheetal_madaan958: u need a promise from me .......um not asking any such kinda promise from u
2:02:20 AM sheetal_madaan958: u know y?
2:02:46 AM aakifkichloo2006: u tell me dear
2:04:13 AM aakifkichloo2006: tel me
2:04:31 AM sheetal_madaan958: tel u wat?i hv told u everythng
2:04:48 AM aakifkichloo2006: hmmmmmm
2:05:04 AM aakifkichloo2006: let me tel u abt the inhibitios i was talkin abt 2:05:12 AM sheetal_madaan958: yes tell me
2:05:13 AM aakifkichloo2006: lyk if ur gal doesnt lyk it then we shudnt be doin this n
:13 AM aakifkichloo2006: lyk if ur gal doesnt lyk it then we shudnt be doin this n stuff...lyk u cant c me coz um wearing less n stuff....u hav to understand the fact that um commited n i hav to be carefull wid it...
2:05:29 AM aakifkichloo2006: these things
2:06:09 AM sheetal_madaan958: wat u mean
2:06:22 AM aakifkichloo2006: u know wat i mean
2:06:32 AM aakifkichloo2006: i still feel thesame 4u
2:06:43 AM aakifkichloo2006: i cant bear the pain wen u say no to me 2:06:59 AM aakifkichloo2006: it hurts lyk anything
2:07:17 AM sheetal_madaan958: thr r jus certain things whr i hv to impose this NO
2:07:34 AM sheetal_madaan958: IT hurts me more wen i say u no
2:07:50 AM aakifkichloo2006: there is nthhin where u hav to say no to me
2:08:06 AM aakifkichloo2006: n u know i wont ask 4 any such thing which i dont deserve 2:08:26 AM sheetal_madaan958: i will remembr dat always ...........
. 2:09:26 AM sheetal_madaan958: love is a pure feel........wateva i can do pure things in this pure feel.......i ll do
2:09:51 AM aakifkichloo2006: i believe u
2:10:08 AM sheetal_madaan958: n i believe u rrite now more than me
2:10:36 AM aakifkichloo2006: hmmm
2:10:41 AM sheetal_madaan958: so?
2:11:12 AM aakifkichloo2006: i hope i put that question up first
2:11:13 AM aakifkichloo2006: lol
2:11:40 AM sheetal_madaan958: hmmm not lol dis tym
2:12:18 AM sheetal_madaan958: cn we end this discussion ab? jus wanna ask u one thing 2:12:36 AM aakifkichloo2006: sure
2:12:46 AM aakifkichloo2006: juz dont fuck things up nw
2:12:51 AM aakifkichloo2006: srry i used the f word
2:12:55 AM aakifkichloo2006: but um scaed
2:13:06 AM sheetal_madaan958: hehe dont be
2:13:27 AM sheetal_madaan958: my pics really messed u up??hehehe
2:13:41 AM sheetal_madaan958: i din know they were dat horrible
2:13:44 AM sheetal_madaan958: lolz
2:13:51 AM aakifkichloo2006: they were great
2:13:59 AM aakifkichloo2006: just can i use the f word again
2:14:02 AM aakifkichloo2006: pleeaaaaaaggggg
2:14:08 AM sheetal_madaan958: yea
2:14:15 AM aakifkichloo2006: they were fuckin awesome
2:14:18 AM aakifkichloo2006: fuckin nuts
2:14:30 AM aakifkichloo2006: my whole world fuckin spun ova my head
2:14:48 AM aakifkichloo2006: srry but i sumtymes will use this wiid u
2:14:51 AM aakifkichloo2006: ok wid u?
2:15:06 AM sheetal_madaan958: r u fuckingly serious?
2:15:25 AM sheetal_madaan958: no its not ok wid me
2:16:07 AM sheetal_madaan958: is dat ok wid u? lol
2:16:08 AM aakifkichloo2006: reallyy
2:16:11 AM aakifkichloo2006: huh
2:16:13 AM aakifkichloo2006: lol
2:16:23 AM aakifkichloo2006: sure it is so damn fuckin ok
2:16:27 AM aakifkichloo2006: oookkkkaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy
2:16:41 AM aakifkichloo2006: promise me that we will rock he world together
2:16:53 AM aakifkichloo2006: the world toghether
2:16:53 AM aakifkichloo2006: the world toghether
2:17:05 AM sheetal_madaan958: i can rock u n not the world
2:17:38 AM aakifkichloo2006: hahaha
2:18:00 AM sheetal_madaan958: ek last baat kehna chahti hu sone se pehle
2:18:19 AM sheetal_madaan958: ?bolu?
2:18:34 AM aakifkichloo2006: hmmm
2:19:16 AM sheetal_madaan958: c um not asking anythin bout ur past commitmnt ......no nothin n i wont be asking even ..... um believing u . u wont proove me wrong
2:19:33 AM sheetal_madaan958: u ll take care of mine n ll do gud wid me as much as u cn
2:19:44 AM sheetal_madaan958: i ll be urs .......no doubt on dat .........
. 2:20:16 AM sheetal_madaan958: chalo ab so jaate hai ?
2:20:36 AM sheetal_madaan958: ten times......this tym wona make it eleven
2:20:40 AM sheetal_madaan958: i love u 2:20:42 AM sheetal_madaan958: i love u 2:20:44 AM sheetal_madaan958: ilov u 2:20:46 AM sheetal_madaan958: ilov u 2:20:48 AM sheetal_madaan958: ilov u 2:20:50 AM sheetal_madaan958: ilov u 2:20:54 AM sheetal_madaan958: ilov u 2:20:56 AM sheetal_madaan958: ilov u 2:21:00 AM sheetal_madaan958: ilov u 2:21:02 AM sheetal_madaan958: i lov u 2:21:06 AM sheetal_madaan958: i lov u 2:21:10 AM sheetal_madaan958: i love u 2:21:46 AM aakifkichloo2006: c um not asking anythin bout ur past commitmnt ......no nothin n i wont be asking even ..... um believing u . u wont proove me wrong
2:21:52 AM aakifkichloo2006: explain 2:21:57 AM aakifkichloo2006: i cudnt get this?
2:22:48 AM sheetal_madaan958: u wanna rock wid me ? inhibitions ? dat was the point . wat i ll be urs?
2:23:22 AM sheetal_madaan958: ur frend....ur bestfreind, ur love wat?.........u ll be my bstfreind n my lover
2:24:00 AM aakifkichloo2006: but v will hav to b carefull
2:24:42 AM aakifkichloo2006: make me a nu yahoo id tmrw
2:24:48 AM aakifkichloo2006: we will chat on that id only
2:24:50 AM aakifkichloo2006: ok
2:24:57 AM sheetal_madaan958: wat u mean?u ll be in relationships or relation?
2:25:20 AM sheetal_madaan958: relationships or realationship?
2:26:07 AM aakifkichloo2006: lluk one thing is for sure
2:26:22 AM aakifkichloo2006: that gal that i hav wid me here will hav her plac in ma life
2:26:29 AM aakifkichloo2006: n u will hav to adjust to that
2:27:00 AM sheetal_madaan958: ........................
2:27:07 AM sheetal_madaan958: really ab so jaate hai
2:27:10 AM sheetal_madaan958: gudnyt
2:27:17 AM sheetal_madaan958: god bless u dear ..........
2:28:00 AM aakifkichloo2006: nai i dont things to remain unsaid
2:28:07 AM aakifkichloo2006: juz say it
2:28:31 AM sheetal_madaan958: i dont hv words ........
2:28:48 AM sheetal_madaan958: u want me as second fiddle?
2:29:04 AM aakifkichloo2006: fidle 2:29:14 AM aakifkichloo2006: not an appropriate word 2:29:21 AM aakifkichloo2006: v r not playin games here
2:29:46 AM sheetal_madaan958: wat u r doing. she ll be ur gal i ll be uurs?
2:30:30 AM aakifkichloo2006: i don know
2:30:35 AM aakifkichloo2006: bt u wil be mine
2:30:39 AM aakifkichloo2006: thats 4 sure
2:31:01 AM sheetal_madaan958: um not gonna share u dats for sure
2:31:10 AM sheetal_madaan958: i don know anything else
2:31:39 AM aakifkichloo2006: she's juz lyk my wife god damn it
2:31:47 AM aakifkichloo2006: u gotta absorb it
2:32:30 AM sheetal_madaan958: n dat my best frnd is like husband to me ..........god damn i cnt absorb it ........
2:32:43 AM sheetal_madaan958: i cn love u the way i was loving ............
. 2:33:37 AM sheetal_madaan958: nyways aakif ..........leave it all here ...gudnyt jaan
2:33:53 AM aakifkichloo2006: no v need to talk but beter talk tmrw
2:33:55 AM aakifkichloo2006: ok
2:33:58 AM sheetal_madaan958: loads of love to u ..........
. 2:34:19 AM aakifkichloo2006: do make me a id n dont scrap me on orkut
2:34:29 AM aakifkichloo2006: email me on hotmail instead 2:34:31 AM aakifkichloo2006: ok 2:34:52 AM aakifkichloo2006: email me on hotmail instead of ur offliners on yahoo till i get a new yahoo id 2:34:53 AM
aakifkichloo2006: ok
2:35:10 AM sheetal_madaan958: take care love .........thrs nthng to say ok
2:35:28 AM aakifkichloo2006: email me on hotmail instead of ur offliners on yahoo till i get a new yahoo id 2:35:29 AM aakifkichloo2006: do make me a id n dont scrap me on orkut 2:35:33 AM aakifkichloo2006: email me on hotmail instead
2:35:50 AM sheetal_madaan958: i hope i cn c in ur eyes once again.....
2:36:22 AM sheetal_madaan958: gudnyt n bbyee love .....wats her name n i wont ask u nything aftr dat
2:36:32 AM aakifkichloo2006: divya
2:36:37 AM sheetal_madaan958: okhies
2:36:41 AM sheetal_madaan958: chal cyaa 2:36:49 AM
aakifkichloo2006: gudnyt
2:37:00 AM aakifkichloo2006: bye bye
2:37:49 AM sheetal_madaan958: n last thing wat i said dat was for sure .......i wont share u . um leaving everything for u .......everythn u cnt evn imagine wat.
2:38:08 AM sheetal_madaan958: bbyee last wala dont reply for dat 2:38:13 AM aakifkichloo2006: wait
2:38:24 AM aakifkichloo2006: wat u mean that u wont share me?
2:38:32 AM aakifkichloo2006: n u leaving evrything 4 me?
2:38:36 AM aakifkichloo2006: i need to know


2:39:09 AM sheetal_madaan958: i wont share u means .....one boy two gals differnt places one in heart one in mind.ok.
2:39:32 AM aakifkichloo2006: n u wont let it happen
2:39:35 AM aakifkichloo2006: u mean this?
2:39:45 AM sheetal_madaan958: may be
2:40:02 AM aakifkichloo2006: luk sheetal i cn leave evrything bt nt her
2:40:07 AM aakifkichloo2006: sach mein
2:40:11 AM aakifkichloo2006: nt at any cost
2:40:19 AM aakifkichloo2006: if u in with meis baat par
2:40:23 AM aakifkichloo2006: then um fyn
2:40:30 AM aakifkichloo2006: otherwise v will hav to part
2:40:37 AM sheetal_madaan958: ur wish
2:40:39 AM sheetal_madaan958: bbye
2:41:25 AM aakifkichloo2006: is this ur last bye to me
2:41:27 AM aakifkichloo2006: ?
2:41:51 AM sheetal_madaan958: cn u adjust wid me if i being wid dat guy too
2:42:07 AM aakifkichloo2006: u dnt havto be wid that guy
2:42:15 AM aakifkichloo2006: u hav neva promiised him that
2:43:06 AM sheetal_madaan958: bt he trust me .......i hv promised him to b faithful. i told him if um not coming to him i wont be going anywhere also
2:43:09 AM aakifkichloo2006: agar u wud hav been commited then i wud hav neva askd u 4 such a thing lyk this
2:43:22 AM aakifkichloo2006: not to me too?
2:43:39 AM sheetal_madaan958: dat um still following
2:44:09 AM aakifkichloo2006: so either we r in or we r not
2:44:16 AM aakifkichloo2006: we both r cheatin then
2:44:20 AM aakifkichloo2006: r u in ?
2:44:24 AM sheetal_madaan958: no
2:44:53 AM sheetal_madaan958: c aakif .........r u in wat?wait lel me read it again
2:45:34 AM sheetal_madaan958: do u realy thing being wid u i ll b doin rite?
2:46:05 AM aakifkichloo2006: its nt abt doin rite al the tym
2:46:12 AM aakifkichloo2006: i feel this way
2:46:20 AM aakifkichloo2006: but u dnt hav to feel this way too
2:46:27 AM aakifkichloo2006: its completely ur choice
2:46:29 AM sheetal_madaan958: okhies .......talk bout dis tomorrow. let me ask him one last tym.
2:47:12 AM aakifkichloo2006: u cant ask him abt it
2:47:16 AM aakifkichloo2006: just b wid him
2:47:23 AM aakifkichloo2006: i promise i wil b fyn too
2:47:41 AM aakifkichloo2006: but v wil hav to make a sacrifize
2:47:53 AM aakifkichloo2006: we wont eva c eachotheer, neither talk to eachothr
2:48:08 AM aakifkichloo2006: otherwiseal this will start al ova again
2:48:27 AM sheetal_madaan958: just 1 thing do u think u r being fair to me?
2:48:43 AM aakifkichloo2006: i know uum not
2:48:50 AM aakifkichloo2006: but there o other way 4 me honey
2:48:54 AM aakifkichloo2006: sach mein
2:49:04 AM aakifkichloo2006: i wud d it agar kuch aur kar sakta
2:49:07 AM aakifkichloo2006: uct me
2:49:11 AM aakifkichloo2006: trust me
2:49:19 AM aakifkichloo2006: n one more lesson
2:49:28 AM aakifkichloo2006: trust me in polish means fuck u
2:49:32 AM aakifkichloo2006: lol
2:49:35 AM aakifkichloo2006: srry
2:49:54 AM sheetal_madaan958: srry
2:49:58 AM sheetal_madaan958: hehe
2:50:13 AM sheetal_madaan958: wen u ll be coming here?
2:50:17 AM sheetal_madaan958: lol
2:51:31 AM sheetal_madaan958: okk......cn u promise me 1 thng?
2:51:40 AM aakifkichloo2006: tel me
2:51:54 AM sheetal_madaan958: u wont be giving my tym to anyone else
2:52:07 AM aakifkichloo2006: lyk?
2:52:21 AM sheetal_madaan958: lyk ko chodo promise me
2:52:51 AM aakifkichloo2006: wat u mean by anyone else?
2:53:08 AM aakifkichloo2006: divya?
2:53:12 AM sheetal_madaan958: yea
2:53:23 AM aakifkichloo2006: wat u mean by givin tym?
2:53:41 AM sheetal_madaan958: wen i want u .......i want u
2:53:53 AM aakifkichloo2006: yeah sure
2:54:02 AM aakifkichloo2006: but we will hav to compomise sumtimes
2:54:18 AM aakifkichloo2006: lyk by fone cant be on waiting 4 long
2:54:26 AM aakifkichloo2006: um answerable 3 hr
2:54:36 AM sheetal_madaan958: n to me?
2:55:05 AM aakifkichloo2006: u cant compare
2:55:15 AM aakifkichloo2006: u will hav to compromise
2:55:21 AM aakifkichloo2006: u will hav to
2:55:29 AM sheetal_madaan958: ohhhhhhh
2:55:36 AM aakifkichloo2006: u wil hav
2 2:55:42 AM sheetal_madaan958: oh ok
2:56:08 AM sheetal_madaan958: n wat i ll get in return aof all adjustmnts n compromise 2:56:20 AM sheetal_madaan958: U?
2:56:24 AM sheetal_madaan958: UR LOVE?
2:56:26 AM sheetal_madaan958: WAT?
2:56:54 AM aakifkichloo2006: i will do the best i can
2:57:21 AM sheetal_madaan958: DO U THINK SIRF BAATON SE vo satisfaction milegi 2:57:53 AM aakifkichloo2006: i wil try my best
2:58:21 AM sheetal_madaan958: shez like ur wife.ok. u love her also?ok?
2:58:39 AM aakifkichloo2006: ya...very very much
2:58:49 AM sheetal_madaan958: n wat u do wid me?
2:59:19 AM sheetal_madaan958: this one answer will change everythnf
2:59:26 AM sheetal_madaan958: so sahi sahi kehna
2:59:53 AM aakifkichloo2006: u n me together feels so rite
3:00:05 AM aakifkichloo2006: above al rite or rong
3:00:11 AM aakifkichloo2006: u nt me n me nt u
3:00:25 AM aakifkichloo2006: it just cant b possible
3:00:30 AM aakifkichloo2006: thats it
3:00:51 AM sheetal_madaan958: ok
3:01:10 AM sheetal_madaan958: lel me not ask him n just ask the gandhi sitting in me
3:01:25 AM sheetal_madaan958: lol
3:01:31 AM aakifkichloo2006: that wil do fyn
3:01:40 AM aakifkichloo2006: u cant discus us wid him
3:01:47 AM aakifkichloo2006: juz as i cant wid her
3:02:02 AM sheetal_madaan958: okk lets sleep now ..... i can u cant but i wont
3:02:58 AM aakifkichloo2006: i need to hear u so bad...i will cal u in a while
3:03:03 AM aakifkichloo2006: u go to ur rum
3:03:07 AM sheetal_madaan958: ok
3:03:10 AM aakifkichloo2006: n i will cal
3:03:17 AM aakifkichloo2006: i wont talk but jst u talk
3:03:19 AM aakifkichloo2006: ok
3:03:25 AM sheetal_madaan958: bbye.yea i ll wait
3:03:42 AM aakifkichloo2006: bye
sheetal_madaan958@yahoo.co.in
09878444508

New thoughts for the new year ?

I don't know what I want.

I sound like so many of the others no.

Don't know what I want, don't know what I can do, Can't make up my mind, think I'm good at everything if i want to do something types.

I'm going crazy wondering just what is it I want from life.

I'm going crazy finding someone I want too, but lets not make my sad social life the object of this discourse, I might go and buy vodka and sleep all through tomorrow and the rest of my life too. Or even worse, I might go give Cadbury their highest sales ever in a day.

Either of which does not seem to be a good option so...

But yes, career. Let's not talk about that either, I feel kaka.

I'm so going out to buy a lovely new pair of shoes. I have these huge duck type, left leg scarred in childhood mishap kind of feet. No kidding. I talk to my feet because I have never seen feet like mine. I love them !

Then again I don't look at men's feet, if i did, I might find a sole mate.

I want to learn how to play the piano. No, seriously. I didn't bother about it when I was younger and mum hounded me, and now sometimes, when i hear instrumental songs, while I'm on hold for the umpteenth time with some psycho, I tend to drift away in my thoughts. Everything goes still and i can feel the music vibrate inside me. Perhaps its the awfully high volume on the phone, or maybe I'm just clawing at some alternative means of entertainment at my boring job, but, Oh that music is heaven. I feel sorry now, for my piano teacher. I don't know what he goes through everyday, listening to teenagers mutilate Swan Lake. I killed it.

Hey you nice people who read my blog, please tell me what you see me doing ten years from now. It's always easier to imagine other people doing things, that you just know are right for them. Don't try and foist YOUR unattainable dreams on me. I do not ever want to wear green fur, kiss a doggy's butt crack, become a stripper, shine shoes, walk the ramp in excruciatingly painful heels that look like the neon monster puked over them, sing the Opera...oh well..you get the point.

Leave some nice suggestions though, I NEED a laugh. No really.

thanks aakif for loving me

i wont ever forget dis day ever in my life . i still love u . n ur this gesture proved me rite. we loved each oder .thanks for dis. it not only made my day but also my life.


Aakif kichloo:can i c u for a minute oor 2, ma facin the other side rite nw tabhi...bohut mann hai apko dekhne ka this one tym
me:.um not in rite condition
sheetal_madaan958:um not wearing dat much clothes lolz..
A: its okk i just wannted to wish u al the luck in the worlld.
rite condition.....nevvr thought u wud use such words 4 me,it hurts but its fyn.just wanted to c 2:09:33 AM aakifkichloo2006: just wanted to c u once aur kuch baatein kehni thi dats it 2:09:47 AM aakifkichloo2006: tabhi wanted to talk on messenger 2:09:52 AM aakifkichloo2006: buts its fyn 2:10:06 AM sheetal_madaan958: aaah okkk..............aakif i know everythng is fyn wid u 2:10:19 AM aakifkichloo2006: hmmm 2:10:26 AM aakifkichloo2006: ya i knw u knw it all 2:10:33 AM aakifkichloo2006: bt um cool abt it 2:10:52 AM sheetal_madaan958: i dont know anything , .........but wat u show only dat i c 2:10:57 AM aakifkichloo2006: nw shut up n listen to me2:11:01 AM sheetal_madaan958: yea u r cool n um chilling
2:11:11 AM aakifkichloo2006: wil u listen
2:11:13 AM aakifkichloo2006: ?

2:12:00 AM aakifkichloo2006: luk i dont lyk u writing anything regarding me n u publically

2:12:32 AM aakifkichloo2006: the thing v had btween us was btween u n me n that was beautiful

2:12:43 AM aakifkichloo2006: u dnt hav to write bout it on orkut 2:12:46 AM aakifkichloo2006: its a pr site

2:12:49 AM aakifkichloo2006: common

2:13:02 AM aakifkichloo2006: n one more thing

2:13:19 AM aakifkichloo2006: i loved u n i loved u wid all the love i hhad

2:13:36 AM aakifkichloo2006: nevr be in any doubt bout it

2:13:52 AM aakifkichloo2006: wateva i did was 4 the better of u n both of us

2:14:10 AM aakifkichloo2006: keep all this in ur mind al ur lyf 2:14:20 AM aakifkichloo2006: n keep it only upto u

2:14:25 AM aakifkichloo2006: wats his name?

2:15:03 AM sheetal_madaan958: who is writing bout u......i hvnt write bout u for soo long ...........um writing bout me n wats happening wid me ....., i swear from 2 months i hvnt writtn any tagline bout us

2:15:18 AM sheetal_madaan958: u loved me

2:15:26 AM aakifkichloo2006: yeah i knoow n u dnt evn hav to

2:15:43 AM aakifkichloo2006: dont question me bout '''u loved me'''

2:15:45 AM sheetal_madaan958: i dont doubt it........coz evn i hv loved u immensely

2:16:03 AM sheetal_madaan958: ek baat hamesha se puchna chahti th

i 2:16:17 AM sheetal_madaan958: puchlu

2:16:26 AM aakifkichloo2006: thats past n let us nt discuss it nw

2:16:33 AM aakifkichloo2006: puchu if u want to

2:16:40 AM aakifkichloo2006: cant eva say no 2 u

2:17:16 AM sheetal_madaan958: u hv wriitn dat u r in relationship wwhich is from past . i dont doubt ur words bt is it true

2:17:58 AM aakifkichloo2006: i got into a relation wen the 2 of us seperated

2:18:22 AM sheetal_madaan958: c i owe my life to u .um living d way u wanted me to .....but itna hi janna chahti hun ki kya kabhi mere admirer ne jhooth to nahi bola.

2:18:35 AM aakifkichloo2006: sheetal i dont want 2 bother u much

2:18:43 AM aakifkichloo2006: i neva lied 2 u

2:19:23 AM aakifkichloo2006: wen u luk into sum1s eyes u cn find atonce wat d truuth is 2:19:32 AM aakifkichloo2006: n u hav very closely looked in mine

2:19:38 AM aakifkichloo2006: so u cant dounbt me eva

2:19:59 AM sheetal_madaan958: okkk ........i understnd ...thanks 4 dis. shud i mail u my recent pics plzzzz i want u to c me . yes i looked into ur eyes .......n i believe u

2:20:36 AM aakifkichloo2006: i dont want to bother u bt can u pla wear sumthin decent n sit in front of the cam 4 me

2:20:40 AM aakifkichloo2006: just 4 a while

2:20:57 AM aakifkichloo2006: that was plz instead of pla

2:21:11 AM sheetal_madaan958: i cnt believe me ......um sorry plzz understand me 2:21:31 AM aakifkichloo2006: ah ok

2:21:42 AM aakifkichloo2006: i completelly understand

2:21:53 AM aakifkichloo2006: chalo u take gud care of ur self

2:22:01 AM aakifkichloo2006: n be the best u cn in life 2:22:17 AM aakifkichloo2006: best of luck 4 ur life n ur relation

2:22:36 AM aakifkichloo2006: i did n will always remember u

2:22:39 AM aakifkichloo2006: gud bye

2:22:40 AM sheetal_madaan958: take my no . plzzz if u want . same to u . 2:22:53 AM sheetal_madaan958: i want to give u

2:23:16 AM sheetal_madaan958: 9878444508

2:23:34 AM sheetal_madaan958: okhh bbyeee dear . bst of luck to u tooo

2:25:59 AM aakifkichloo2006: i wont be taking ur number srry 2:26:34 AM aakifkichloo2006: n 1 more thing all my email passwords are wid my girllfriend except the hotmail one

2:26:39 AM aakifkichloo2006: take care love

2:26:43 AM sheetal_madaan958: it always hurt but its fyn . wat shud i say more .

2:26:46 AM aakifkichloo2006: ttake gud care 2:27:27 AM aakifkichloo2006: hamesha aapko jaan bulake pukarne ka mann hota tha but i neva did so

2:27:39 AM aakifkichloo2006: n ya keep our convo upto urself only

2:27:42 AM aakifkichloo2006: bye bye

2:28:04 AM sheetal_madaan958: bye bye.i hv maild my pics on one of ur id

2:28:08 AM sheetal_madaan958: gudnyt

2:30:55 AM aakifkichloo2006: which id? 2:31:33 AM

aakifkichloo2006: which id?

2:31:34 AM aakifkichloo2006: ?

2:31:35 AM aakifkichloo2006: ?

sheetal_madaan958@yahoo.co.in

09878444508

Love or Infatuation???

As I don know wt love is so I cant cum out with deeper meanings,bt till now wt life has taught me by knowing various incidences I feel tat love is left far behind, its just infatuation which has strengthen his position in today's world. These days relationships r on fake terms r v can say temporary basis tat is have a crush on somebody fr a sometime ,use that person n just finished it off…which is often termed as infatuation at the end.

The most easiest part is to get in to these kinds f relationships but must difficult part is to deal with d consequences of such relationships, People once heart broken,becomes too hard,cold,,there perspective changes n be cum numb. N wen this situation arises d situation f depression takes his seat..which is dangerous.

If we see are environment,every then n now r friend's comes up with d prob tat ,v broke off,,n v r upset ,tat person did this n all..n v give them a simple advice of move onn,,n v flash sum beautiful dialogues n finally v r done with d,,formality of being friend's ,,n v feel tat its sufficient,,v r done with r job..

But d person who's suffering knows,,how it feels wen heart breaks,,n how long time will b taken to recover frm such a brutal hurt,. N at tat time person feels there's no love only pain n whatever was it it ws a mistake ,,a infatuation.

Here also persons thinkin does'nt end up,,he started gettin pulled off from relationships..,starts makin boundaries n at d end love theory is vanished n rude,selfish world theory is activated.

I know there would be people who r in serious relationships, n they must have a strong believe in this love part n I really wish loads f good look fr there future n God Bless them with same love n tender care in tere relationships, but tese days majority is f heart broken people n its increasing day by day an finally it is resulting in creating a mind set f infatuation n hatred among people..n discouraging people to get into any kind f relationships.. which will,, at d end not result in a healthy outcome..

So we people should be bit genuine fr others n help them not to form such opinions by takin a a very first step from ourself only tat if v genuinely like sum1,,ten only v should approach tat person to get into any relationships n should try n carry out it till d end with full trust,loyalty,care n a genuine love..:-) so v can have a better world tomorrow n healthy perspectives tomorrow.:-).

Note:This post was originally posted by me to one of my dear friend's personal Blog, My Musings than to my personal blogUnpredictable life n now here:-)

Moodie's MOOD

FOR MUCH OF MY LIFE N MY BAD PEROIDS I BELIEVED MY THOTS WERE BEYOND MY CONTROL. THEY ENTER MY MIND AUTOMATICALLY N THEY DO WATEVER THEY WANT TO DO.
its not my case only like yesterday while talking to usman on messanger i felt the same thing. he was quite nice to me .but the last tym we had a chat god knows how we crashed on each other. surprisingly i asked him yestrday hey man is everything all right? u being so polite?
He answered me, '' look dat day u met another usman but this one me is different n real.''Dat day i wasnt in good mood n u had a bad impression of mine.
TRUE, it happens wid all of us... wat we are today depends in wat mood we are today.
its our thots and mood that makes our day n complements our action. even my mood swings has put me in trouble a lot many times.thankfully now i have discovered dat nothing cud be further from truth.we are not our thoughts instead we are thinkers of our thoughts.and we can change our thots if we choose to do so n our mood in the same way.
this seemingly was an epiphany for me. its just dat we have to give whole more concentration to the quality of thots we allow in our mind to enter.i hv tried my mind to focus only on positive n enlighteningthoughts. and in doing so i saw all other circumstances of my life changing too.
just as we are not our thoughts,we are not our mood too.earlier my mood used to be my master n it bends me the way it used to be. but after my trials for changing it, i have realized dat we are the creator of our mood n not our mood being the creator of us,wat we are!!
sheetal_madaan958@yahoo.co.in

Enigma

Hello people, this is my first post on this blog. My story "Enigma". Hope you people read it. Please bear with me. Keep smiling.

~

Life is one enigmatic journey. An enigma of its own kind. Each life is distinguished with its own set of characteristics, and uniqueness. Sometimes, the uniqueness of this journey, makes it a tinge more complicated than its individual parts.

And maybe at those times, fighting and moving ahead becomes essential. So essential that you cannot breathe unless you have made some silent yet huge compromises with your own self. And still, this journey which makes you do so much to yourself, is enigmatic. And there is nothing even questioning the glory of this beautifully caked up walk in the natural plastic garden called “Human world”.

How about being able to take guilt free sneak peek into someone else’s garden? Steal some apples and yet not be caught? Sounds like a fancy , one which would not com true in real life. Because no body in their conscious selves, would let you know who they really are. Or more specifically, nobody would ever let you know or even understand in proper state, what would they do in a reply to anything adverse.

There was this girl, somewhere in the country, who lived a life on her terms. Had her own share of discreet ideas, and her own dreams to live up to. She was friendly, jolly, and very lively. She was the life of any gathering she was a part of. People yearned to have her with them all the time. That was what was the skin of her. But what about the flesh, blood, and bone? There ought to be some. There was this other side of her, a girl, who excelled at writing dark poetries, had the worst dreams and fought miserably with her brain. She had her own contradictions, her own apprehensions and her own limitations. But these never stopped her from being who she was. And, If things were to be put in simpler words, then it would be, that she was a matured young girl. The kind one could call a kid at times, but at other times, it would be her, even people years elder to her , would turn to for emotional and practical help.

She did everything that normal people would do, indulged in everything that was fashionable, and relished life just like she did her chocolate bar.

She was one of those queen of fantasies and enjoyed life like, there would never be another tomorrow.

Only one thing, she did not have a friend, a true one. Some one who could understand, who she really was and what she needed and not wanted from life. May be she was among many people, but she was not that complete. She was not completely happy with her soul, which required some healing.

So destiny has plans for everybody, and she was not an exception. But hers was a slightly different story all together.

She was sitting in her very own seat in the cyber café. Was chatting with some friends, and simultaneously, noticing everybody who were occupying the computers next to her. She was not really directly looking at them, that would make things very obvious and she would be left embarrassed, and that was surely something she ever learnt to be. So while she was typing in some words, a young lad came and sat next to her, the computer I mean.

He looked at her once, then twice and then over and over again. She tried not to look, but it was difficult with such random attention.

He :You know I am looking at you.
She : Sorry?
He: I am looking at you and you know that.
She: (pause) Well, so?
He: Go ahead and type what you were typing. (Laughs)

She felt snubbed, and continued with her work.

He: Who is it? Ryan? How do you know him?
She: Excuse me. What are you talking about?\
He: This fair skinned chap on your screen.
She: Look mister, I am not interested in what you do, so be away from my things as well.
He: As if, I did not notice you looking at me when I entered the café? And then you pretended as if you are very busy … No?
She: Whatever I do should be just my own concern. You are a stranger, and I shall prefer you to remain one.
He: English honors?
She: What?(irritated)
He: Nothing.

She continues with what she was doing. A minute later, gets up to leave.

He: You going?
She does not reply.

He: Hello madam. Are you going?
She: Yes. You got problems?
He: Of course not! Good for me if you go without logging out of your messenger. I could easily get your number , address, and everything else.
She: What non sense.

She hurries back to the computer, logs out and head towards the door.

He: You lost you basic manners when you were busy thinking about me?
She: Sorry?
He: Sorry seems to be the hardest word , to most, but you seem to be quite fond of it
She: Will you shut up?
He: No.
She: I have to leave now.
He: As if I stopped you?
She: Whatever.
He: All girls are same.
She: You may think so. Goodbye.
She goes out.

He continues typing.

Next day, when she comes back, unknowingly, she was looking for him, but he did not come.
But, she got a chat invitation from an unknown address. And it had a message along with it.

“I know you are looking for me but sadly, I have a super fast net connection at my place.”
She did not know what to do. She knew it was him, but if she accepted it, it would mean that she gave in to him. But if she did not, she would not get to tighten his nuts!

So she took the safer way out. Accepted the request, but pretended as if, he did not know who it was.

He:Hey
She:Hello!
He:Hey , you sound so normal online!
She:What?
He:Yes. I thought it would b the same cranky you.
She:I dono know who you are.
He:Lols. Stop lying ok?
She:Srry, I ain’t lying.
He:So, still talking to Ryan?
She: It you again?
He:As if you didn’t know and your heart wasn’t thumping hard?
She: Nonsense.
He:You!
She:Shut up
He:I came online for shutting evrything up?
She:Do whatever you feel like.
He:Feel like hugging you.
She:Get lost!
He:hehehhehe
She:Yea whtever
He:You think you are something lik the mysterious queen??
She:y?
He:No, bcoz u behave like one.
She:Smiles!! Well, you know Who I am then!
He:Yea.A pretender.
She:You enjoy pissing me off?
He:Just two days madam. Lot more to come.
She:Yea, I ill see.


He:You’d better.
She:I gtg now.Bbye.
He:Muaah!!
She:Get lost.
Signs out.

For five days after that he does not come online.

Sixth day, he comes to the café, and finds her there.

He:Will you join me for a cup of coffee?
She:What?
He:Coffee.Made of coffee beans.Well brewed.
She:I am busy.
He:No you aren’t.
She:How does that bother you.
He:May be it does.

Something happens to her, and she walks with him.
He walks endlessly till they reach a grocery shop.He buys a satchet of coffee powder.And then continues to walk.

She:What is this?
He:Coffee.
She:I can see that. But….
He:You will make two gud mugs of it
She:You are out of your head??
He:You are.
She laughs almost hysterically.

He:What?
She:You are a sample piece.
He:(gives a sheepish look)(chuckles)
She:Stupid!
He:Coming home or not?
She:I do not have any option left.(smiles)


They go to his home. A nice big one.

He:You know what?
She:What?
He:I wanna tell you something.
She:aamm…Wht?
He:You should have known it but then, I have to tell it to you.
She:Go ahead.
He:Go straight and thn take a left, you shall find my kitchen.
She:Non sense.(begins to laugh)
He::Go go!
She:Shut up!
He:Go na.. please..
She: Ok ok..

Both begin to smile in a way they had never before. It was something nice. Something beautiful.

While she was busy pouring the coffee in the mugs, he stepped into the kitchen.

He:Hey..
She: (Turns back)Yea hi..
He:I had never expected anybody to work in my kitchen. Not a girl atleast.
She:What..?
He:Yea, never seen a girl work in here.Never.
She:Never seen you mom in the kitchen or what?
He:No…
She: (pauses) I didn’t get you.
He: She passed away when I was five, and dad never married again.
She: Oh..I’m sorry.
He:Naah.. it is ok.
She: So, what happened next? Where is your dad?
He: He? Maybe in London now.
She:Maybe?
He:Yes. I was sent to live with my grandparents after that..Dad seldom wrote letters. Called up once in a blue moon. He was living with his girl friend.He did not marry and did not worry.
She:What the….I am sorry.
He:I am used to trying to control my anger. I hate him.
She:So where are your grand parents?
He:Grand dad passed away when I was fifteen. Grand mom passed away five days back.
She:Oh..
He:So that is why I couldn’t be with you.(winks)
She: You are…(pauses) I mean…(pauses)..I don’t know..
He:Acid tested.hahaha…
She:You are not lik what you seemed to be. You are nice.
He: uh huh!! Think again girl.. You always thought I am good, you wouldn’t come down home else wise… would you?
She: (smiles) May be.

That day had been, one of the pretiest examples of life for anybody who would want it!
She was finding a companion, and he already seemed to have found one. Both could recognize with each other in a way, they had never previously done. Things began to change. For most days, she would go to his house , instead of hanging around with her usual circle of friends, and the most noteworthy thing was that, she did not feel anything going amiss!

One of those days, they planned to cook together.
In the kitchen..

She: Wanted to ask you something.
He:Ask ask..(winks)
She:Why did you talk to me that day?
He:When?
She:In the café …
He:Oh!..Was just flirting….
She:Huh!
He:But there is something else to it too.
She:What?
He:There was something, that made me come back..
She:What??
He: You look like my grand mom….
She: (looks at him) I could kill you.
He: No no!! Seriously!

He held her by her hand, and then took her to his room. Askd her to sit down, and then pulled out something of the drawer, and sat down beside her.

He:Here, see…(hands her a photograph)
She: (takes a look) Wow…who is this?
He:My grand mom(smiles)
She:She is so, beautiful….
He:Yes, she was pretty.Very pretty. I wonder if my mom looked like her too.
She:She surely did. You haven’y seen her pictures?
He:Yes…I have.. But never too clear..
She: hmm..
He: (turning towards her) So you see, you look like her. My grand mom.
She: No ways! She is way too pretty!
He: Look at yourself, the way I look, you are the pretiest of all..
She: (lowers her eyes) Thank you..
He: (goes close to her) You dumbo, we were cooking….Come lets go…(winks)
She:Oh yes… (laughs)

Days, weeks and months… all passed by. And now, they were the best of friends.
There was nothing that was hidden. Nothing that was forged. Every fact was so clear and every expression was so well understood. Now they even did not have to talk to let each other know what they were thinking. Eyes could speak so well now. And they were working together on a social project. So that let them have , more time each day together.

Her parents knew him well. They began to trust him. It was all as if, It was meant to be this way always.Always.


One year now, things were good. But they had fights too. And had their own ways of soling their problems as well.

She:Where did yo keep your file?
He:Which one?
She:The Bio data, medical reports,couple passes one..
He:Why?
She:I kept my, discount coupon in that.
He:What for?
She:I needed to keep it safe.
He:You don’t have your own file or what? What was it I bought you the other day? A piece of rubble?
She:Shut up..
He:What shut up? Why did I buy it then?
She:I was with you that time when Igot it, came down to your place after that, so, I kept it in your file.
He:It is my file for God’s sake!
She:So I should’nt have kept it there?
He:Yea absolutely..
She:Okay… Fine. Buhbyee.I have to leave.(moves to leave)
He: (moves towards her)What for?
She:No. I am sorry. I forgot my limitations…(heads towards the door)
He:What!...Fish!!.....(hold her hand)Don’t go.
She:I have to. And yes, I am sorry.(looks downwards, hiding her teary eyes)
He: (Raises her face up) Awww no!! No no!Don’t cry. Please.. No! Keep all your coupons in my file, keep all that you want anywhere..But don’t cry please!! (hugs her)
She: Shut up….(rubbing her tears) Go get lost. I don’t want to talk to you.( half laughing)
He:All right… alright …my baby’s laughing… ok ok… Smiling?.. yea yea!! (pulling her cheeks)
She: I hate you!
He: I love you too!
She:Huh…! Loafer!
He:Naah… just flirting around…(winks)
She:Loafer!! Duffer! Dodo!!
He:Yea, yea whatever..(laughs)
She:Shut up..
He:Coffee?
She:Yes…
He:Go make it..
She:huh!!

What they said to each other, what they felt, was just among themselves. Just so secret, that often even they did not know what they were sayin to each other.
Who would ever not want to be so innocentlyin love? So innocently that they themselves knew not what it was? Or even if they knew, they would say not what it was…


She:You , loafer, I wanna have some ice cream
He:No
She:Yes!
He:You’ve got flu..
She:So..??
He:So I had to pick you up from your place.
She: So..?
He:I am taking care of you.
She:So…??
He:So what!!! ?? No ice cream! That is it!
She:What nonsense…
He:You..
She:Shut up…(looks at him angrily)
He: (keeps staring at her) I could… Only if you promise you would sit like this, infront of me, forever.
She: (glances at him.)What?
He: (regaining his senses) No.. what?? Oh.. nothing..
She:Mad ..?
He: (laughs) Yepp..
She: I knew, I knew! Hehehe..
He: You sure you know…?
She: Evn if you don’t say it.. I know…( lowers her eyes, smiles)
He :Nice… (realises something) (Slaps her lightly on her cheeks) Wake up!
She: Only if you wake me up…
He:(glances at her)What?
She:(regaining her senses)No….nothing…

But how long, could they both, hold in an obvious secret? The knew each other so well, that they knew it too, that they were hiding a sweet little secret, with perfection unmatched.
And what more? They both were in collaboration! But now, words, somehow changed their route from eyes to lips.

He:Ever thought of a candel light dinner?
She:With?
He:Amm..Well anybody..
She: No..
He:Why?
She: I don’t know..You?
He: Yes..
She: (brightens up) Who who??tell me!
He: Someone..
She: Duffer, who??
He: Told you , someone…
She: Tch! Tell me!
He: You..
She: We had it already! Don’t remember? That day? Lights went off?
He: Yes, and you fell on me.. (laughs)
She:Yes.. and you didn’t utter a word!
He:How could I ? It wa a dream come true..
She: What? Lights going off?
He: Naah… you won’t get it.
She: Me falling on you?
He: (smiles) Perhaps..
She: Why?? Huh! What was so funny in that?
He: Not funny you dodo! It was nice.
She: How come?
He:I got the touch of your face, for the first time.
She : (lowers her eyes) amm.. oh. Ok..(shy)
He: Hey, what happened?(pushes her)
She:Nothing..
He: You look gorgeous..
She:Loafer.!
He: No.. really.
She:Yea?
He: Yes..
Will you let me hug you once?
She: I am surprised! You’re asking me? (goes ahead to hug him)
He : (Stops her) (looks into her eyes) Mind being with me forever? Just like this? (hugs her)
She: (hug him) (looks at him) Loafer…. What happened?
He: Nothing except that, I realised that I have never flirtedwith anybody else than you..
She : (shrugs off..) Oh, so you want a girl friend? Go ahead.. Go to other girls. I won’t mind.
He: You would..
She: You really wanna go? (almost crying)
He: I want a wife..
She: Oh ..ok… good.
He: I don’t plan to flirt with anybody else. I don’t plan to even look at anybody else. But somehow, I wanna know, does looking at just one girl , wanting her and loving her make you a loafer?
She :What? No! That is love!
He: Who is it for me then? Ten hours a day you are with me. Rest of the day I am either a work, or sleeping. So?
She: So?
He : Would you be there forever?
She: Of course…….But why?
He: Why..?
She:Yea..
He: Coz, I look at you. I like to. I listen to you speak endless. You make no sense. But I like it. Coz, I need you to be here even when you are sick. And I want you to be here all the time. Coz, I wanna flirt around, just with you. Coz I wanna be the only man you trip down on. Coz I wanna be the only person, who you would hug so dearly . Coz, I wanna be your loafer, for life….
She: Coz you wanna be my husband….
He: No.. Coz I already am.. But wanna confirm it.. (winks)
She: Loafer…
He: Only for you.. (hold her close to him) Say it once na duh! (smiles) I love you silly girl!
She : (blushes)(smiles) Me too.. I love you too loafer..
He:So, you’re my wife?
She: You’re my husband… so what else can I be to you?(winks)
He : Hmmm.. coffee?
She: You make it!
He: Oh yes! Why not? Day one eh! (laughs)
She:Practice..practice…(winks)

They got married formally , three months after that. And now, they stayed together always.

He: You know what? You are stupid!
She: What?Why?
He: Coz, …..I love you.
She: (smiles) You are more stupid than I am…
He: Yeah?
She: Yeah.. I love you na!
He :Yeah.yeah..
She: (hugs him) Yeah…
He: Awww… my wife… love you(kisses her)

They had so much love to give each other. But somehow this love, was not enough to give them a child. She, could not be a mother. It was diagonised, when even after two years of marriage, they did not have a baby.
But, the sacred enigma, that life is! It has plans, knitted for every soul. Every blessed soul.
Before this, she had never found herself, so much in love with someone.
And never before did she feel so incomplete. But when, the person you are married to is all that makes you complete, how can you keep the enigma an edge far.

One evening,

He: Coffee?
She: (in a dead tone) Yes. I made it.
He:Eh! Of course! Hey , but come, lets make it again.
She :No. It is ok. We have enough of it in the flask.
He:Dodo….(looks at her) I am here. With you.
She :(almost crying) So what do I do now? (crying) Why….me lord!
He: You know something?
She:What?
He:I am not my parents child.
She :(startled) What?
He: Yes. They had adopted me. When I was a small kid. I don’t know if mom loved me. But I am sure dad didn’t. He left me to my mom’s parents. They loved me. So, here I am.
She: (looks at him) Baby..? Baby…. You know it all? (crying) (hugs him)
He: I know it all. So.? Am I crying like you dodo?
She:But…
He:But what?
She: No…
He: Yes. We will bring out child home soon. And we will love him or her . A lot. We will. You trust me love?
She: (breaks down crying) I love you…
He: I love you too..

Enigma. That is life.
Hey Don’t blame me. I just allowed a sneak peak. And, the rest is their life. Just think , if life, just a part of it, looks so beautiful, how enigmatic is life for real?

What changed you???

You know I care for you,
You know am somewhere dependent on you,
You know I count you in one of the special persons in my life,

But suddenly what happened??

Y u doing this,
What changed you soo much!??
That now u don't even show your concerns,ur friendly love...
U were never so inexpressive ,wt changed you suddenly,
what??

Is time has changed you soo much that u forget me??
Is new people around you have become soo important that u r wid tem all the time n don't get time for me,
or
Life has become soo busy that u r soo occupied that u don't even get a time to ring me n ask, hw r you dear friend???

If its all because something is bothering you, than share with me,
il ease u,ill make you feel happy,
il make you realise hw important you r to world, to me,
il make you feel gud..

But,please break this Silence,it sometimes, makes me uncomfortable,
this dry,rough behavior upsets me...
U were never like this...

What happened,wt changed you so much ???

Note: This post ws originally posted In my Personal Blog,Unpredictable life.

May B THIS is d DAY of my new future

Today was the day which lead me to some deep thinking widin me.um not dat sure bout this feeling but for sure my words are colliding wid my very own thots,my actions are not being complementary WID my words. um devastating my very own ideologies just for the sake of moving on. i know neither um right nor um wrong but their is something for sure dat is not in equilibrum wid my mind.One must move on in her or his life .but is this only reason logical enough for confronting my this deed of action?? was this an hour of need?? or just my girlish n amature nature?

yeah um toooo confused .shud i carry on wid wat going on?

Its not just falling in love nor bout my commitments.but its just dat if others r happy in their deeds then y shudn't i be? but sometyms i do wonder how can one fall in love wen he /she is already in love.

NEHA my frein..........wat she is asking me for ,um ready to give but still um not sure. but i must agrre that things are making their own way.....some topics which were left unsolved suddenly came to my forefront. n everything after dat wasnt in my hand.enthusiasm;nervousness;happiness ,curiosity ....a mixed fruit juice of my feelings.i hv startd believing in omens now. from feew days my left eye was blinking badly n hey my mom says its a good sign. i thot may be this can be a sign of my clearence of pmt. but now i hv startd feeling may b that was for this reason.hmmmnnmmm um not taking any decision nor um thinking so hard .; leaving everything on my destiny

yesterday i read smwhere ,'' gravitation is not the cause for falling in love''. i don knw y this line clickd me .

leaving this behind....again aftr reading 'A' PROFILE.....it hurted badly...everyday i c n everytym i feel a setback.

Choices are in my hand nd adjustments too? but is this worth for making such a big change in my idealisation dat has occupied for so long. lel c wat happens in my life........keepin fingers crossed!!

sheetal_madaan958@yahoo.co.in