December 12, 2008
A 'Rainy' date......
I don’t know whether it was rains, or it was because I was missing her very much, I was quite restless that day.
I called her many times but no reply. So sighing I went outside for a walk in the beautiful rain. I went to lake nearby. It was perfect evening only thing missing was her. Just than my cell rang
“hey sorry sweetheart but was busy, I am soo sorry”
“Turn around; I knew you would be here”
She was there in front of me smiling at me
“I missed u so much,” I said
“ya so see I am right with u sitting beside u.” I smiled back at her, holding her hand, I sat there in drizzling rain as if I have no worries in the world, as if all the problems vanished when I saw her and as if no one can love me more when she hugged me.
She started playing with my hands, “you are so beautiful,” I said “I love your wet hair, your eyes look even more intoxicating when they are embedded in wet eye lashes”
She hugged me again “when you are with me,” she said “I feel as if nothing is going to go wrong, as if there are no worries, as if life is a miracle waiting to happen, waiting to unfold itself at every step. I sleep with your dreams in my eyes and I smile because I can’t help it and I smile because I feel you are looking at me. When you are with me I enjoy the rain drops falling on my face, I love the sound of water splashing on window panes. I laugh shrilly welcoming the rains with open arms. When you are with me I enjoy the bright sunlight, I love the rain falling on my shoulders, their soft feel which reminds me of your touch, their tenderness with which I compare u.. I take hours to dress up when you are with me because I can feel you looking at me.”
I again asked the same question, “Why do you love me so much without any reason?”
“Love without any reason” she replied “is perhaps the purest love. There won’t be days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but when you are with me I will get strength for the day, comfort for tears and light for the way”
WORD COUNT- 400
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i guess the story has nothing much to do with rain.....
ReplyDeleteI liked the conversation there... Especially the last paragraph... :)
But, u know it just ends as a conversation... difficult to say it's a story....
But anyway man...
Anyway... Nice write up... Keep Posting more...
Cheers..!!
Arjun
@arjun
ReplyDeletethanks buddy, ya you are right its not a story, but a real life conversation :) ..
Ya may be nothing to do with rain but, the incidence took place in rain, and believe me rain makes love even more romantic
thanks for the feed back
cheers
good one jack. really good one. specifically your idea about pure love!
ReplyDeletebut you could add a lot of emotion to the story by changing this line a little:
“I missed u so much,” I said.
like:
I turned around and gapped, she was standing there grinning at me, i ran to hug her.
etc! i hope you got me :)
you get me * errr!!
ReplyDeleteps, i also love your reply to Arjun, saying that rain makes love even more romantic...
ReplyDelete*grins* good one!
awww it was a real conversation..
ReplyDeleteaww.. yes rain does make us more romantic ;)
lovely post :)
Asbah...The eternal romantic
ReplyDelete*Sigh*
Find me a lake some1... While you are at it, find me some1 to have this conversation with!!
@Jack,
Loved it..It was so simple and sweet! Pure love..Pure rain (well we can assume that) Pure bliss!
@asbah
ReplyDeletehey i got it, you are right it can be made more emotional :)
point taken,
well as far as reply to arjun well anyone whos in love will agree with me
@ani
ReplyDeletethanks ani
i am glad you likes it
@rashi
ReplyDeletethank you, ya well "pure love"..
this is what i believe because,if loving someone has a reason than when that reason is gone love will also perish..so i believe love without reason is the purest love
Reading this actually changed my perspective towards rain. Very honestly, I do not like rain very much. I like the weather after the rain..anyways..
ReplyDeleteCute conversation...i wonder why I never had such mushy conversations in the rain :)
Very sweet :)
@shruti
ReplyDeletethank you
it depends on situation and frame of mind i guess..usually i love rains, but when things are not going good even i tend to dislike it..
ya i am lucky in that aspect i must say, its really wonderful feeling, such conversation, best way is to experience it
Hi Jack,
ReplyDeleteThis is Tan ... a new member here ..
Good feelings - good narration ... good emotions and a few mistakes ... probably due to the emotions while you were writing ...
wet hairs >> wet hair (hair itself is plural)
wet eyes lashes >> wet eye lashes
I don’t know whether it was rains, or is it because I was missing her very much, I was quite restless that day >> I don’t know whether it was rains, or it was because I was missing her very much, I was quite restless that day.
Another small thing - no place for u (for you) and r (for are) in a story dude ...
Consider my thoughts - I will be happy ... looking forward to read more of you ...
@tan
ReplyDeletehey thanks for your comments,
i will take care of all those mistakes next time :)
yes you right got bit emotional while writing so couldnt concentrate on grammar lolzz
Jack, why next time? Why not this time ... I mean, is it good to leave a post with mistake at large??
ReplyDeleteGuys, guys ... This is the second response I saw ... someone else, somewhere else also told, I will take care from next time ... why not this time?
Tan thought Jack will change the post and ammend the mistakes - but the post stay still, still!!
Whats the point then, taking out the mistakes and mentioning them? Hmmm ... maybe I should learn things in here ... ok ... np!
@tan
ReplyDeletepoint taken and appreciated :)
i have changed it lolzz..
Please do take out mistakes it really helps, but the laziness monster in me always procrastinates things
so will be careful next time :)
cheers
Hehehe ... thanks for this ... You know what? The laziest writer is often the best one ... :)
ReplyDeleteha ha..wow.. i guess than i have a bright future as a writer
ReplyDeletenice one jack ,,,, really romantic ,,, loved the gal's entry :) !!
ReplyDeleteneway few of the mistakes were already pointed so i keep mum there !!
keep writing ..
"I take hours to dress up when you are with me because I can feel you looking at me.”
ReplyDeleteawww... sooo sweet :D
hey thank you
ReplyDeletei am glad that you liked it
cheers