Showing posts with label By *Shreya*. Show all posts
Showing posts with label By *Shreya*. Show all posts

November 23, 2009

The End.


He smoothed the table cloth with his hand. He moved the wine glass a bit.
He lit the candle and waited for the entire match to burn out.
He glanced across the open terrace and signaled the waiters to empty the place.
He would handle it all by himself. He had dreamt of this moment for the past 6 years ever since they had started seeing each other...
The ribbon on the box holding the ring was beautifully tied and he smiled at the thought of how beautiful the ring would look on her delicate finger...

The night was getting cold...he's palms sweaty and his watch showed that she was late by an hour and 19 minutes. The watch was her first gift to him...5 years 7 months ago.
He din't want to call up and spoil things tonight.
He stood up and walked along the border of the terrace of the 23 floor high restaurant.
The fencing was low...He noticed. Very low.

She was now late by an hour and 42 minutes.
He stood there, hands in his pockets, toying with the ring box.
Precisely 2 minutes later the door to the terrace opened and he saw her being led inside by the head waiter...
She looked dazzling in a green outfit that made her seem like an emerald on fire, she'd always been this beautiful, since the first time he ever saw her. Their first date...The first time they held hands...The first time she had ruffled his hair and smiled her cutest smile...The first time he had wrapped her in a warm embrace...The first time they...
Shutting clichéd thoughts out of his mind he smiled at her...din't he just love her or what?

She din't smile back. She waited for the waiter to leave. Then she walked over to him with a grim face. He tried hard not to appear anxious. He took her hand in his. Their cold hands worried him. He had to break the unspoken tension that suddenly seemed to envelope them. He could wait no more. He guided his other hand into his side pocket to draw the ring out...the beautiful ring.

She cleared her throat. Without any more building up, she said..."Honey, I know its too late, but, I wanted to tell you that..." She trailed off...

"Tell what?" His voice quivered under the strain of this pause...

"That...that I dont think this...this thing between us in going to work out anymore..." She stared intently at her feet.

There it was. Within less than a minute his world crumbled down. Like a cookie. He could feel her cold hand in his ice cold hand. No. His hands were no more ice-cold. He was burning from within. Could she feel it? Did she even care? She hadn't even bothered to look into his eyes while she mouthed those venom laced words...

She...was...a...bitch. He thought. 6 years. She'd been a bitch. A nasty woman. Who played with his feelings.

With nothing else to say He placed an arm on her shoulder. She looked up. He realized she was about to say something more...This time He wouldn't let her.

He had waited for too long...waited today, waited all these years, waited all his life...

He pushed her. A slight push worked. The low fencing helped. The last he saw of her was the green flimsy material of her outfit flying in the air and her shocked face. She never had looked this beautiful before. The last look. The ring box tumbled from his hand and went down 23 floors just after her...She could keep it for herself, He thought.



And as she hit rock bottom, moments before her skull exploded into a million pieces and her blood flowed free...Her last words were..."But...I...was...simply...kidding..."

Would he ever know?

November 20, 2009

Flames to Dust...

Moving through the dream in haste I saw myself there…All alone, solitary, forlorn under the shadow of the moon-lit sky…

Those tinkling bells, that flowing pearl-white gown…The beach, the sand, those shells.

With eyes that smiled…With a smile that spoke a bazillion words…

That constant humming of tunes so sweet, so tuneful…And my hands that traced abstract designs in the air…And feet that left distinct marks on the fine sand…My gait so perfect, so calm, so content…

The air thick with everything but blasphemy…The birds circled up there…like they were out there to guard me.The tree’s swayed around murmuring silent prayers…

The cold wind that played with my curls…The warm sand…And the silhouette of ‘the one’ in the proximity…

Everything was so perfect, so enviable, so done to death…

It had to be a dream, apparently it was one.How could it all be so boring?


It all has to be about perpetual bad hair days…About sleep deprived eyes, an awkward smile, achy arms and broken backs…About a body that has a mind of its own…And a mind that is dazed and perplexed!

Its all about printed tee’s and age old jeans…About shoes that have been mended every single time they broke…About sales and grab offers and discounts and fights when hell breaks lose between shopaholics…

About cell phones that are prehistoric...About all calls canceled and received at one’s own behest…About those lies and those half truths…And about punching the keypad late into the night, blushing!

Its about food eaten, food shared, food grabbed off another’s plate…About money saved for a weekend to treat oneself…And about the glee of discovering money tucked in pockets…

Its about talking to people all the time…here, there, everywhere!In the rick, in the bus, in the train…to unknown people.Its about being cold, bitchy, mean, rude, snobbish, slutty on some days…And the on others, just being ‘good’…

Its about socializing, or dying a slow death trying to do so!About socializing, strictly for the ‘free food’…

Its about vows and resolutions and promises…All broken, very conveniently…

Its about mugging things minutes prior to the exam…About scribbling assignments just hours before the important submission…About dingy corners and dusty books in the library…About bunking, blacklists, proxies, and cranky professors…

About flinging black hats on graduation day…

Its about grandparents and aunties and uncles and cousins waiting for the free food at your wedding!About mom finding cute suitors for her daughter…Its about her plans for her grandchildren…

About your plans for your children…starting with their names!!

Its about not knowing what love is, what love feels like…About denials and times when you rationalize…Its about waiting for the right one…being smitten every now and then…

About Juliet…waiting for a Romeo she does not know off!

Its about crossing roads talking on prehistoric cell phones…And baam! Its about not seeing the car.

Its about collapsing right there…

Its about feeling the feel of blood all over, red blood, your blood…

Its about those seconds that tick by…you wish they were years, and not seconds.And, without anymore melodrama, you are dead.

The Juliet is gone, the Romeo was never there.

The mother is left with dreams that’ll die a silent death.

The exam records mean nothing anymore.

The money remains tucked into the pockets forever.

The mind and the body drift apart.

The dream comes true.

The ‘perfect, enviable, done to death life’ commences…

Yes.

Flames to Dust…

Lovers to friends…

Why do all good things come to an end??


Live, Love, Laugh.That’s the least you could do.

Shreya!

November 18, 2009

Random String of Words


Running down the mountain…things won’t stop…

Trickling worries won’t ever surrender …

Things seem far…they are farther…

No end seems closer…

Scream you may…

Doesn’t matter!

Blinded by things you hear…

Your own words disappear…

Jacked or Busted or whatever!

Water blue…see through…glinting in the open…

Selflessness lost…I, Me, Myself they say…

For them you don’t matter…and yet for them you pray!

Goodness is in there…No one’s ever noticed…never ever ever…

Hate is what you get…take it in without a word of complain…

Insane sane insane sane world…I choose ‘insane’…

Bang! And laughter strikes! A picture of what lies beneath…

Insecurity…Crass…Determination…Love…Hate…Betrayal…Luck…Failure…

Bursting bubbles of laughter are just a cover…

Doors open…Doors close…Doors open…Doors close…

From a corner you stare ahead at nothingness…

The air outside sucks the air from within you…

Emptiness inside…Nothingness outside…what’s left?

You blink! Waiting for a tear to trickle?

Cry if you can…you can’t and you won’t …

Cause they say you’r cold!

A smile curls up…a satisfied and self assuring one!

Strange for those apart from you…it’s a smile you most needed…

It belongs to none but you…

It’s the inner self in you that’s smiling despite everything…

Why smile? They say…

Smile! I say!

Cause a smile does ‘nothing’…which is exactly what you need…

You need people to do ‘nothing’ for you…

Doing ‘something’ just messes things further…Doing ‘nothing’ doesn’t!

Much said…less done…

You dream…wake up…look around…yawn…conk off again…that’s ‘joy’ !

And here is an abrupt end.


November 17, 2009

'Be right Back'


Her grip around the cold metal of the gate tightened.

The path ahead of her was clear. There was nobody, there was nothing to wait for.
She turned around, speaking to herself.
It would be yet another night when the other kids would obnoxiously stare at her...
But as long as He was coming to take her the very next day, she'd gulp those looks down.
At night, she stayed wide awake, what if He came at night? She sure couldn't make him wait, could she?
Morning came, and she willed herself to fight the exhaustion her mind cringed under.
The cold water slapped hard against her skin and she winced...
She smoothed her soiled dress and braided her unruly hair all by herself...with him not around she could do it for just one more day, now couldn't she?
At breakfast she walked over to the farthest chair, which faced the window, which faced the gate...
The food plate went into the trash-bin as full as it was...
The wait continued into the day, a long harsh day...
She'd simply stand at the gate...looking out.
She could feel the other kids talking behind her back...
What did they know about waiting for someone who IS going to come and take her home afterall?
This was their home anyway, theirs, not hers.
Her heart never skipped a beat, her legs never gave way, her eyes never blinked.
Occasionally she rested her head against the rusting iron gate...
Occasionally she picked at the hem of her sleeve...
Occasionally she shut her eyes tight and his image flooded her mind...
And a teardrop appeared somewhere...

And then...
Yet another day passed in the same way...
Waiting for him...

Before she retired to bed, murmuring a silent prayer,
She thought of the day he had left her at the gate saying he would be back 'in a moment'...
And she had smiled and waved him back...the last time she ever smiled.
That was precisely 3 years, 9 months, 5 days back...
Would he EVER be back?

He, her Dad...



There are so many children who'v gone through this, where their parents have left them at orphanages saying they would come back some time soon...and that never really happens.
Such is Life. There are no full stops and happy endings for them...

November 16, 2009

Lady, its a war!


Like the stars spoke of the moon, you spoke about him to me.

Just like the little kid who is riding through a fairytale, i heard you.
My eyes wide with amazement, like i just found a lost toy from under the bed.
I pictured the perfect prince come riding on a unicorn...
You'd be the princess, my favorite princess!
I wanted to see the twinkle in your eye when you held his hand and he led you into lush green meadows...
Every word built a thousand castles...each castle which belonged to you, my princess!
And then, like you promised, he came by, and...
all I felt was a sharp pang of jealousy!
I wanted to be the star closest to the moon, I wanted him to be the toy i found from under my bed.
I wanted this prince, and for me to be the princess!
The unicorn would be mine, the twinkle in the eye would be mine,
The hand he held would be mine, the castle would be mine,
He would be mine, I would be his.
I want the fairytale to be MINE...
And so, as you bid me farewell, I spoke of teardrops and pain and the agony and hurt and sting and twinge and the misery involved in this saga called 'love'...
Sad you fell for it...