May 28, 2011

Ayyoooo

I was in school. There was a girl. She used to direct paper rockets at me, used to sit behind me and scribble on my shirt, followed me everywhere I went, used to bring her mom’s Activa and honk outside my house and when I would go out, used to run away. She used to stand in the school corridor and harass me. Yeah, I shamelessly admit I was a guy. I mean, I am a guy. One day realization dawned on me and I started to think. How do I behave like a man? I had sleepless nights thinking about it. While the thinking process was on, a few more girls joined her in her acts. My tail raised, eye-brows made a fish hook, red lights flashed on me, I was angry, but I still dint know what to do. I couldn’t tell my friends, they would laugh until their pants tore. What to do? What to do? What to do? Got an idea.

I decided I will stalk her. I decided to prove to myself that I was a guy. I mean, I am a guy. I thought I’ll follow her wherever she goes. For once I felt like a man. She was on her Activa. I tried my best with my bicycle. Dint work. I tried scribbling on her shirt. She looked at me like a rapist and complained to my teacher. I was cornered in more ways than one. Then, for the master plan. I filled air in my bicycle tyres and kept rounding her house ringing my silly bell. A Police van came to a halt right in front of her house. A tall, fat man with a forest under his nose walked into her house wearing a police uniform. Obviously, I disappeared like graphics. That was when I realised that monster of a man was her father. I mean, he wouldn’t have eaten me up or anything, but that sight just hid my guts, so to say. Who knows, he might have eaten me up.

While this epic was unfolding itself, there came a twist to the tale- Board Exams. ‘Bored-exams’ I stupidly used to call it then. She used to wish me every morning before the exam and I used to return silly faces. It was after the last exam, I saw her walking towards me. I thought enough is enough. I was ready for the battle. I had the Sreesanth look on my face. She came to me, dug a card out of her bag, gave it to me, said- “I love you” and walked away. I simply stood there for another 15 minutes, which seemed like ‘rest of my life’. You know, it was like sucking the air out of my bicycle tyres.



Last week, she got married. The guy looks like Munaf Patel. Apparently Munaf is a better bowler than Sreesanth. Anyway, jokes apart, the last day of board exams was the last I had seen her. I used to hate her to the core. She had some kind of feelings for me. But then, we were school children dude. Ok, so it is all fine right now isn’t it? She’s married and happy. Me, not yet married but very happy. But wait, no no, the story begins here. Today, after 9 years since I met her last, I get a mail and guess what, I hear the same words- “I Love You.” I need an air pump and a new mail id.

P.S- Forgive my exaggeration. Only the characters are exaggerated, the story is pretty much true. By the way, this is written only for Writers lounge.

P.P.S- I had a few crushes in my school and pre-university days. My first crush; I finally found her on facebook recently. She got married the day I found her.

15 comments:

  1. quite a story you have! the initial part was awww so childishly school like!! missed my school days! I used to harass a guy in the same way :) although it never was a crush! it was plain shararat!!! and yeah after years I found him on facebook and he has turned into a tough guy :) n now teases me about all I did to him :)

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  2. Ah! Look who's back! :D And ain't I so glad Tots! :) And just the way you write, wonderful. The transformation is very evident, in its own sweet way. I mean there's this feeling of growing up, and I like both versions, or may be this one, a tad better. :)

    Get back to writing Tots, you're missed in blogville. :( Come to think of it, look who's talking, but then, no one misses me in blogville, no one asks me to come back. If someone did, like honestly, I'd probably leave all work and come back running. :)

    PS. Change your mail id quick. :P

    PPS. Don't send friend requests to your old crushes. ;)

    PPPS. Thank you for coming back, I can't thank you enough. :)

    PPPPS. I am not sure if PPPS and PPPPS exist. ;)

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  3. Old crushes and Facebook! Quite a lethal combination. :D

    Loved every bit of it. :-)

    Needless to say, it made me feel so much better about my first crushes in kindergarten :D

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  4. @maithili haha. lol. Poor guy. I can understand him. :P

    Thanks for the comment maithili.. :)

    @T What can I say?? I told u already. Thanks for all this. :)

    @Shruti lol. That girl's name was also Shruti. :P

    Hey, even I had a crush in Kindergarten. A crush on my teacher. I'm such a dog, isnt it?? :P
    Thanks.. :)

    Cheers..!!
    Arjun

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  5. hehehe seems you run isn't working in favour :D
    awesome story

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  6. Nice Write up :) !

    The day you met her was her wedding ~ Nice Coincidence. You are unlucky i guess :P

    It was so childish in the beginning. I thought you were speaking about a sister of yours.

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  7. ROFL.... i know i shouldnt be laughing...but lol lol, that was hilarious. i hope you are over her and not mad at me for laughing :D

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  8. ROFL.... i know i shouldnt be laughing...but lol lol, that was hilarious. i hope you are over her and not mad at me for laughing :D

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  9. great...
    the first is always the most remembered...
    and its bad that she got married the day u found her after all these years..

    maybe u shud ve tried finding her an year before and gotten lucky. :)

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  10. ultimate
    arjun is back
    puri story main comdey shandar thi

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  11. Get a new mail id. :O

    And ahh, Facebook, I still remember how it gave me a heart attack when I saw my first so-called-boyfriend add me.. The last time I saw him was when we graduated from primary school and he tried to kiss me and I ran away.. D:
    But it's nice to get back in touch after all those years.. :)

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  12. @Rajlakshmi Lol. Yeah. What to do?? :P

    @TheEnigma Very unlucky. :P

    @freelancer lol dude. Its okay u can laugh. I myself have had a hearty laugh at the situation.. :P

    Thanks all of you... :)

    Cheers..!!
    Arjun

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  13. @ChefDro lol. Well yes, maybe. :)

    @Chirag Thanks hero. :D

    @Nic Yeah. So true. But then, suddenly due to facebook I realise that all my friends are getting married. As in, I feel old. :P

    Thanks for all the comments.. :)

    Cheers..!!
    Arjun

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  14. oh arjun WB ! :)
    and we have shruti back too
    0-0
    and chirag!

    :)

    good to see :)

    asbah.

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  15. lol yeah. even without facebook i am feeling the same.

    that was typical arjun post. I dont know why i still keep on finding the sad that kept lurking behind the humor that you apparently write.

    anyway. hope to read more from you.

    .a.
    (aka asbah)

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