Ayyoooo

I was in school. There was a girl. She used to direct paper rockets at me, used to sit behind me and scribble on my shirt, followed me everywhere I went, used to bring her mom’s Activa and honk outside my house and when I would go out, used to run away. She used to stand in the school corridor and harass me. Yeah, I shamelessly admit I was a guy. I mean, I am a guy. One day realization dawned on me and I started to think. How do I behave like a man? I had sleepless nights thinking about it. While the thinking process was on, a few more girls joined her in her acts. My tail raised, eye-brows made a fish hook, red lights flashed on me, I was angry, but I still dint know what to do. I couldn’t tell my friends, they would laugh until their pants tore. What to do? What to do? What to do? Got an idea.

I decided I will stalk her. I decided to prove to myself that I was a guy. I mean, I am a guy. I thought I’ll follow her wherever she goes. For once I felt like a man. She was on her Activa. I tried my best with my bicycle. Dint work. I tried scribbling on her shirt. She looked at me like a rapist and complained to my teacher. I was cornered in more ways than one. Then, for the master plan. I filled air in my bicycle tyres and kept rounding her house ringing my silly bell. A Police van came to a halt right in front of her house. A tall, fat man with a forest under his nose walked into her house wearing a police uniform. Obviously, I disappeared like graphics. That was when I realised that monster of a man was her father. I mean, he wouldn’t have eaten me up or anything, but that sight just hid my guts, so to say. Who knows, he might have eaten me up.

While this epic was unfolding itself, there came a twist to the tale- Board Exams. ‘Bored-exams’ I stupidly used to call it then. She used to wish me every morning before the exam and I used to return silly faces. It was after the last exam, I saw her walking towards me. I thought enough is enough. I was ready for the battle. I had the Sreesanth look on my face. She came to me, dug a card out of her bag, gave it to me, said- “I love you” and walked away. I simply stood there for another 15 minutes, which seemed like ‘rest of my life’. You know, it was like sucking the air out of my bicycle tyres.



Last week, she got married. The guy looks like Munaf Patel. Apparently Munaf is a better bowler than Sreesanth. Anyway, jokes apart, the last day of board exams was the last I had seen her. I used to hate her to the core. She had some kind of feelings for me. But then, we were school children dude. Ok, so it is all fine right now isn’t it? She’s married and happy. Me, not yet married but very happy. But wait, no no, the story begins here. Today, after 9 years since I met her last, I get a mail and guess what, I hear the same words- “I Love You.” I need an air pump and a new mail id.

P.S- Forgive my exaggeration. Only the characters are exaggerated, the story is pretty much true. By the way, this is written only for Writers lounge.

P.P.S- I had a few crushes in my school and pre-university days. My first crush; I finally found her on facebook recently. She got married the day I found her.