I only have myself to blame. I got so busy pursuing my own charms that I forgot about life. I made promises that I didn’t even try keeping. How can I ask her to promise me happiness again? It doesn’t matter now that I feel sorry for not being there, when she needed me. By what right do tell her that I am in need now?
I couldn’t go on without knowing if he even needed me. Did it matter to him anymore? He didn’t see the world like we saw it before. Maybe he learnt to see through eyes that I didn’t have. I tried to learn until I was tired. God knows I tried.
I feel tired too, of constantly being in pursuit of happiness. Happiness was here all along. Like bright sunshine in the house while I was lost among the woods. I find my way back home to find the sky cloudy, the room empty and my heart quiet and dull. Such is the irony of life.
I didn’t know if he would ever come back. I had to move on. He didn’t say a word when I said goodbye. He wasn’t even angry. I strained my ear to listen to him call out, ready to turn around. He never did. Or maybe the river between us was too wide for me to notice.
I let a lot of water flow before I thought of building the bridge across the river. She even lent me a rope but I didn’t take it. I waited for her to build it while I sat on the island. Now I don’t even know if I’ll find her on the other side.
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