March 4, 2009

Haiku: Tan's first steps

Finally mates... I'm here with the first set of Haikus that I have written... Went through the various Haiku rules posted by Pratibha and tried my hands on the same, after paying too much attention to the rules ... It took time, as I am still learning counting the syllables and putting in 5-7-5 format ...

I have five different Haikus here. The first Five I have written ... I want you mates to go through all these separately and let me know about the same ... I'm still confused in a few ways, and seeking Pratibha's help whenever possible ... Your words in here will really help as this is a top learning assignment for me as of now:

***^**^***
A winter morning
With lots of dew drops on grass
Is all I see now
***^**^***
Living loveless life
Like a bunch of frost topped grapes
Brisk, but motionless
***^**^***
Dark cloud brings the rain
I walk to you, breaking rules
But it rains again
***^**^***
The first drop of dew
On a winter morning here
Smells like perfect love

***^**^***
He took his brushes
And painted the blank canvas
To Monalisa

18 comments:

  1. "frost topped grapes" ,

    Dark cloud brings the rain
    I walk to you, breaking rules
    But it rains again



    ahh perfect treat to me !!! and you say these are your first steps !!

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  2. tan, nice work, guess the haiku fever has caught on. All are equally good, but the third one is simply superb.

    Prats must be damn proud ;)

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  3. loved each one them.. :) true examples of haiku.. :)

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  4. Frost topped grapes is my fav analogy now! It is really amazing!

    Prats you might want to give away the top of the class position to some1 else now! :(

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  5. yeah i was also looking for sharing top position!

    ALl of them are simply superb!

    I'm trying my hands on it now :)

    We all love you prats! thankies !! :)

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  6. duh, what i meant to write in my last post was:

    Rash and Tan can share first position, but once you're in office things come out differently :S no?

    I have 9 haikus now, I wonder what to post here :P

    and of course you guessed correctly, thats what i did in office today :D

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  7. @ Pratibha

    You know it all ... I am happy to be able to write something that you like ... and I'm overwhelmed to see that it can be something YOU can be proud of! Great ...

    Frost Topped Grapes - is something I learnt (remembered) from the movie - A Walk In The Clouds ... another mushy affair ... hehehe ...

    The lines you chose is something I have seen happening to me ... it happened 12 years ago and it happens every day now ... But, I keep walking, even if it would rain!!

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  8. @ Kings

    The fever is on mate - truly. I had to work through it to have it on me ... Happy that you liked ... will write more!

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  9. @ Gueshan and Asbah

    Thanks for liking it ... I think experience brings the best out of you ... This is what has been written in the three lines, you liked :)

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  10. @ Rashi

    Thanks for liking it ... Grapes are good and frosty ones are similarly useless ...

    And YOU top a few lists here ... be there ... Will work harder to get nearer!!

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  11. wow tan!! haiku fever.. ;)
    all were too gud!!

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  12. wow man..!!

    i loved the second and the third the most.....

    Cheers..!!
    Arjun

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  13. i tht it was a single poem with each verse a haiku! :)

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  14. Tan, I dont mind sharing the first place with the entire Lounge.. Just that we'll need a huge podium :P

    You are just more special to share it with :) And must I add deserving?

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  15. niceeee ones

    Loved "The first drop of dew
    On a winter morning here
    Smells like perfect love"

    It does sound of the perfect love.. :)

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  16. @ Priyanka

    Thanks for reading the first attempts ... I'm happy that you liked all of those ... fever is on!

    @ Arjun

    Thanks for the read mate ... I will write more now, more so since you are reading me ... :)

    @ Leo/Vinay

    I'm sorry if I could not make it sound different ... I put color and a line in between too ... I will do better next time, for sure .... ;)

    @ Rashi

    Thanks for the desire to share it with me ... thats a big thing in itself ...
    Anyways, a writer would write withought the thought of being at the top, for there s/he would be too alone...
    Write more and share more ...

    @ Ani

    Thanks for liking it ... Perfect love is actually a mirage!! I just tried to smell it here ... hehehe ... Do read more :)

    Cheers to all mates for reading and trying Haiku ... its awesome and real feverish!!

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