In the darkness of the night,
sleepless stay my dull eyes
the same that once shone so bright..
But then,those were good times
life was a vase full of rosy smiles,
with you around,everything was nice...
The air is still heavy with your cries
and the bed so chill,where you chose to die,
i never knew before,that love had a price...
No consolation or memory can ever suffice
the aurora held by our selfless ties,
i stand today lifeless,as if frozen in ice.
.
.
A cold write? ! ? !
ReplyDeleteya.. feeling cold u see ;) (i meant feeling wise)
ReplyDeletecaptured and froze de sad moment ;)
ReplyDeletea rhyming write, but more importantly good choice of words in conveying the emotions :)
why so sad? why so serious :P
ReplyDeletereading ur post almost felt like a rainy day :) U got ur effects right
Was a long and dark December
ReplyDeleteFrom the rooftops I remember
There was snow
White snow
Clearly I remember
From the windows they were watching
While we froze down below
When the future's architectured
By a carnival of idiots on show
You'd better lie low
If you love me
Won't you let me know?
This song seemed to fit perfectly with your write.. I was just re-read it while listening to this song... :)
it moved me
ReplyDeletenothing worser than the death of a loved one
nice write-up
ahhhh!!!!!! poetry princess!! :) :)
ReplyDeletebeautiful one!!!!!!!!
Ah! Another Monorhyme ...
ReplyDeleteI seem to be confused a bit here, which is vivid from my try at this ...
But then, NIGHT, EYES, SMILES, NICE, DIE, CRIES ... is this what you wanted to say how it should rhyme at the end of each line?
I want to know that and get my doubts cleared off... tell me, Teacher ... I'm waiting for your reply...
And about the picture? You have an uncany crave for the best picture, I believe! This is the second picture that you have used, which I have already used ... seems, our tastes are matching ... hope I can write as well as you, if I can match to your frequency!! I'm happy :)
ReplyDeleteWonderful poem, Prats! livin upto ur reputation is all i can say! :)
ReplyDelete@Tan : i guess monorhyme means that the lines should sound same... which i guess i have managed... will check again though later.. :)
ReplyDeletepure magic.. i could feel the chill!!
ReplyDeletethanks for liking Kaings !! it was jsut a try ,,
ReplyDeletethanks "H" !! :) n its just a write.. m not sad
ReplyDelete