February 9, 2009

The Adventures of StepMAN: Blogisode 1

“So Pretty Me!! Where will you run now?? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Shack, Can, Deo…don’t let her run away! We have cornered you, Pretty me. Now there is no escaping us. How dare you write about that incident in your blog?? Now only God can save you…You would want to write about me as well and publish the post from up there…yaaa…up there….heaven…ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…. You could teach the angels up there how to blog as well. You would want to know my name for that explosive post, right?? I am the most dreaded goon of this locality…Parched Soul….go and write a detailed description of your death in God’s company….ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha”!!

Pretty Me looked around desperately for help. The street wore a deserted look. Not a single soul could be seen around. The rogues had cornered her. She closed her eyes and prayed. Parched Soul took out his gun. Beads of sweat glistened on her forehead. She searched for a sharp object which she could use for self defense against these devils. She had run out of luck. She was sweating profusely now. She wanted to scream at the top of her voice. Fear had choked up her vocal chords. She mustered up all her courage and screamed for help. She could only manage a hardly audible cry. There was no escape. Parched Soul tightened his vice like grip on the gun. He was laughing hysterically at her helplessness. He brought his fingers on the trigger. A slight pressure on the trigger and it would all be over for Pretty Me. He pressed the trigger. Well….Almost. Slapppppppppppppppppppppp!!!!

The gun flew out of Parched Soul’s hands. He was in a state of shock. He shook his head. What was that?? Slappppppppppppppppp!!! Another tight slap. This one was so hard that Parched Soul was in a state of dizziness for almost two minutes. When he got back to his senses, he saw Shack, Can and Deo all tied up and crying for mercy. He had no clue what was happening. Slapppppppppppp!! Parched Soul saw stars this time. He fell down. This was a different creature altogether. His eyes could not match up to the speed that this creature was moving at. He finally managed to get up with huge efforts and looked around for the cause of his misery. It was then that he appeared before him. His mask looked almost like the head of a cock, complete with a crown on top. He wore a purple skin tight suit and a polka dotted boxers with the words “Stephany innerwears” written in blazing read atop his pants. His long boots had scales like the skin of a snake. This intruder was short in height but well built. He had his gaze fixated on Parched Soul.

Parched Soul was shaking with fear. He pointed his finger on the gang and said, “Late ta vandalu…Latest ta varuven (I come late but I come latest). Meet the real man….StepMAN….Superheroes ka Baap! My finger against your gun you goon. How dare you corner an innocent girl like that?? Haven’t you heard of my name? StepMAN… Chumma Perai Kettavudane Adhiruthilla? (Doesn’t my name send a shiver down your spine?) Me…the real man….StepMAN…now suffer my wrath! You had the guts to spread crime in my raaj! Ponnum, pennum un pinnadi varanum….athu pinnadi nee pogakoodadhu. (Money and girls should always follow you, never go behind them). I have to teach you all a lesson. That will serve as a warning to all other crooks. There will be no crime in StepMAN’s raaj….I will eradicate crime from this planet….StepMAN…Superheroes ka Baap. I am very very dangerous…Do you get that? Adhe kozhandhai kitta Stepmannu sonna, innoru kaiyale avanga amma vaayayum moodum”! (Well, if you say the name ‘StepMAN’ to that particular unborn child, it will close its mother’s mouth with the other hand”!) . He was landing blows on Parched Soul and his gang. They were pleading, crying and whining in pain. StepMAN showed no mercy. After seeing to it that they all turned unconscious, StepMAN turned towards the lady who was yet to come to terms with the unexpected turn of events this evening. She managed to mutter thanks to the superhero. He was about to tell her that it was his duty when all of a sudden the girl started laughing. In that split second her expression had changed. That transition from her panicky state to this strange one was totally uncalled for. She came close and kicked him hard. He almost fell off. One more blow and now it had started paining. He rubbed his eyes and looked around. Arjun had a tense expression on his face. “Good morning Idiot. Get up….you moron. I sure have landed a complete crack as my roomie. Shit man! You are not at your home to enjoy a sound sleep. You haven’t even unpacked and have gone straight to sleep. Our hostel life has just started brother. Come back to your senses. We are fresher, do you get that? Freshers are not expected to sleep at 3 am in the night. We are wanted in room no. 301. Seniors are waiting for us! Get on your feet Stephy!”

Stephy was still in an extended state of sleep. He managed to get up but instead of following Arjun, slumped back into his bed.

46 comments:

  1. Somehow, I dont seem to see the "FUN" intended ... could not understand half the piece because of the different languages used ...

    anyways ...

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  2. dat ws really entertaining!! loll...
    those dialogues na...dey r hilarious!! liked d desription of d superhero!
    eagerly awaiting whts nxt...n for dat 'miracle'...oops..hehe..
    write jaldi..!!

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  3. hehe hilarious bro....

    some parts reminded me of LOS Malan part 2

    that dialogues n all where malan fancies his chance and meets supari bhai

    this was funnyy.....

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  4. Quite funny.
    :)
    :D
    Nice.
    :)
    But could have been better.
    :)
    Liked it nonetheless.
    :)

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  5. @kajal

    thanx...this was just a prologue...next one...catch asbah ;-)

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  6. @tan

    sorry to disappoint and being unable to show you the 'FUN' intended...its just a prologue though...n its english...the protagonist is a tamilian n hence the language..but the english translation is there in the brackets...language transcends barriers ;-)...

    anyways...

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  7. you guys wait till the part two comes :D

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  8. @hashan

    he he..thnx bro...n its tamil...coz stephy, the protagonist, is a tamilian...hence those extra powerful dialogues..."I come late, but i come latest" one is my personal favorite....could have only written the english translations here but that wud have taken away the essence of the delivery...

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  9. @priyanka

    dont give away the plot....grrrr...he he..thanx twin ;-)

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  10. @ste

    thnx a ton bro...n u r writing one of the parts ;-)

    yup...malan lingers in the air...stepman joins the league ;-)

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  11. @riversoul

    will try to make it better...was just a prologue...thanx bro...

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  12. @islex...

    he he...let chota stephy take over ;-)

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  13. hey that was fun, but could have been better....never the less enjoyed
    keep it coming :)

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  14. @jack

    was just the prologue...just wait n watch ;-)

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  15. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  16. It did make me laugh, but not as much as I had expected to, especially after the blockbuster launch! And how did stepCOCK metamorphose suddenly into stepMAN?

    Hoping for some more laughs from stepMAN and LOS Malan.

    The dialogues however remind me too much about LOS Malan. It's like stepMAN is another version of Malan. Please use newer Rajini dialogues in the next blogisode. I think Rajini has enuff of them!

    Keep the fun going...

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  17. @Neha

    he he he...i agree..but as i say..cudnt have packed much into the prologue...n yaa...coz this part of the malan series (episode 2 to be precise) was written by me, which never saw the light of the day coz of Ste deleting it..he he...hence used the dialogues again here fr the gang who havnt read my take on malan n my use of these dialgoues there...rest assured neha...things will take a drastic turn from here..have established the character n now the fun builds around it...

    the censor board was giving an "A" certificate with the name stepcock...they agreed to award our series a "U/A" with stepMAN....so the change..he he ;-)

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  18. bahut badhia shuruwat hai
    kafi rochak hai

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  19. @chirag

    glad to know that chirag...bahut bahut shukriya...

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  20. yeah i still feel that it cud be more better brooo like for the hype u had created ...i felt that it cud be more better ;-)

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  21. Hmm... Interesting, belt out the next one pls...

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  22. could have been much better...thts de feelin lingerin in my mind considering the suspense generated from the super duper blooper prologue and trailers..i see its not as funny as i expected...never the less waiting for next one..with much stronger[hehehe ;)] punch dialogues with a twisty blow ending style... and name change is agreeable :P

    hahaha [evil laughter with gleam]..waiting for de next one

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  23. lol... that was hilarious h****y....shack, can, deo... hehehe...ooooooooo ... stepMAN has snake skin boots... tooooo hot to handle man... and dotted chaddi too... wow..

    aa gaya aa gaya,
    stepMAN aa gaya,
    chaa gaya chaa gaya,
    stepMAN chaa gaya....

    hail stepMAN...!!!!

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  24. @ste

    last minute improvisations n change in the original script planned for episode 1 are to be blamed..well...no probs..keep ur fingers crossed...the roller coaster begins ;-)

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  25. @akansha

    waiting for asbah to post the second one...shud be out soon ;-)

    with great powers come great responsibilities...n some side effects too ;-)

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  26. @kings

    i agree with you completely bro...am not satisfied with this part 1 myself...the name change at the last moment kind of made the original first episode a lil out of the place...hence had to deal with a lot of last minute changes...n this is the effect..yet this was just the start...now that the first one is out n i have time to take a new route..keep ur fingers crossed..he he...will be back ;-)

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  27. @mona

    lol...he he..hope u reached back safely...all the best for the desh bhakti fest...u want stepMAN to give a lecture on deshbhakti at your college? he he...

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  28. @mona

    n thanx a lot for encouraging w***y...waiting for you to compose the theme song of stepman...doston ka dushman...dushmanon ka dost ;-)

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  29. hehe... Sandeep... super macha..!! hehe

    hack, can, deo... lolz...
    And hey.. I'm stephen's room-mate???? Only rajnikanth should save me.. hehe.. or rather- stepCOCK.. ;)

    As everyone said- u could have made it more funnier.. But again u said it's just a prologue.. :) So..waiting waiting waiting...

    And sorry for being so late... konjam busy .. :P

    waiting for asbah's update.. :)

    CHeers..!!
    Arjun

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  30. @arjun..

    yup bro...just that last minutes changes didnt help much...that trasnsition from stepcock to stepman for the U certificate left me with less time...ur wait is over...the juggernaut will roll on ;-)

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  31. lol arjun yeah staying with stepMAN in a single room is risky dude.... :p ....even rajni cant save u lolz

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  32. abhey sandeep may be one day real stepMAN will come to kick u down hahahaha ;-)

    kya yaar u r obsessed with stepMAN ......kabhie to sudhar jaa mere yaar.....

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  33. @ste

    arjun ko tang mat kariyo jyaada...he he...samajh gaya naa stepMAN

    and yaa...stepMAN toh icon hain re...icons have that kinda effect on people..he he he....

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  34. Liked the Tamil lines... Gave a good cartoonish feel to the StepMan... Was fun reading it... Good work :)

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  35. h ah ah ah ah a a
    "Kandasami" vikram idhu padicha aluvaar :P
    StepMAN he he :D
    NAN late ah vandhalum lateshtttt
    yays 46th comment :P

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