December 11, 2008

Yumi


He was drenched every bit in it, the cold clear thing that dropped from the heaven. He knew not what the other creatures in the place he lived in called it. That was because he was not born among them. He was born someplace else but was picked up by some more similar creatures and put inside the jail and these few other creatures he lived with now, freed him from there. For now, he was shivering, and he was limping, because he had been kicked. Kicked by one of the familiar creatures, who had once hugged him so dearly that he felt there was no one who loved him more than him. He was not among them, but he knew what love was, because he had yearned for it when he was in the jail.

White he was, but had no pride, and now that he was so wet, he looked sillier than any darker creature of his kind would look. He saw a shed and struggled to rush towards it. He was almost successful, but just the moment a car come and hit him. He was already dying, but the few last moments that he could still breathe were stolen away. The driver said nothing and just drove away, and neither did anyone around say a word.

Back in the party by Martha Clara, the leading pop singer of those times, Kenny and Angel stood worried.

Kenny: Where do you think dad left Yumi?

Angel(worried): I don’t know but we have to look for him.

Kenny(concerned): Yes.(angry) How could dad just kick the poor creature so brutally on its belly and throw it out of the door this way?

Angel(sad): You know dad Ken, mom and him often fight and break things, and this time it was Yumi..

Kenny: Yumi wasn’t a “thing”, he was our playmate! He was our loyal guard! Our best friend! To dad he must have been just a dog…

Angel: True… Shall we go and look for him?

Kenny: Yes.

They left the home in the rainy winter night, looking for their dear old pet, who was left brutally several kilometers outside the warm shelter by his own owner, and just because of human rage, the momentary heat. It was so cold and Kenny and Angel knew well that Yumi had never been at ease without a sweater during these days. They ran from one corner to another. Finally, at the end of a street they found a dog lying lifelessly. Kenny took off his raincoat and wrapped Yumi in it, and Yumi made no noise. They took him to a shed and realized that their once cheerful Yumi was no more. He was wet and dead. The rains had washed away his pains and life.

Back home when things were calm, with Yumi’s body, Kenny approached his father.

Kenny(teary eyed) :Look dad, here is our Yumi..

Father :Oh no… Is he dead?

Kenny :Yes he is.

Father :Why did you bring him home? Just dump him somewhere. Its Unhygienic.

Kenny(crying) :Stop it dad…!

Father :We will get you another pup..

Angel :So that next winter monsoon you kick him harder and we can never even find him?

His father had no answer. It was just an animal to him, but his own animosity had killed Yumi. Yumi would never come back, and the children denied adopting a new pet. Every such winter monsoon night, the Father would cry in his heart remembering what he had done to someone who thought love was something that he gave him…

9 comments:

  1. nice !! reminds me of an old song ... some lines hinted about the animal in humans ... i liked the way thes tory began ... though it was bit ok types in end :)

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  2. Awww!!! people take an animal's life for granted and that kills me.. We take our ability to speak as a mark of superiority!

    I hate that about Humans!

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  3. drastically different...a fresh thought...liked it a lot...reading you for the first time...and you had me hooked...the conversations and the narration style were crisp...i simply loved the last para...good one alisha...yumi was really rockin!

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  4. it would have been better had you explained the state of mind of each character rather than putting them up in brackets...teary eyed, concerned, angry could have been a part of the narrative...you need to learn to blend that into your narration...its fine with this story, but in general you could weave much stronger stories if you learn to blend these emotions into your narrative and let the reader deduce what state the character in question is...cheers!

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  5. Cute Title and I agree with sandeep ...A drastically different Story .....
    but isn't this a bit too long ...looks like more than 400 words ....

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  6. Hey! Did not explain the expressions in brackets bcoz of the world limit.
    It looks a little longer partly becoz of the enlongated picture and also that too many articles participles n conjunctions used...
    :)

    thank you so much buddies :)

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  7. Yes Alisha, I have to agree that it is one of the good stories posted here, if not the best.. The story telling was awesome and I just loved it ... That Creature could never make it into the family because of the father ...

    However, I would like to attract the creatures writing here about this post ... This post has 595 words in it ... When I discussed with Alisha, she said some part needs not be counted due to AC (??) ..
    What is that?
    Is this so? Does it still fall within 400 Words Limit??
    If Yes, Which part of the story is going to be considered? I do not want it in half and dont want it to be cut in any ways ...

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  8. that was really lovely n touchy story.. all of us take things for granted.. even out pets which is so sad..

    lovely post :)

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  9. aww poor yumi!! even my doggy died in a car accident :(

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