December 11, 2008

A Flashback...

As I look out the window, I see the rain begin to fall. The rain, it brings back memories. They say when a soul above is happy, they cry, and rain is their tears of happiness. I believe so too. Thirty years it has been, since that fateful day. Yet when I close my eyes, I can still recollect with ease, what had transpired that day.

It was my thirteenth birthday. My dad wanted to throw a party and invite all my friends, and I had said yes. The rain was falling outside, but it did not bother me that day. I was very cheerful, as I took phone call after phone call, friends and relatives calling to wish me. A stack of cards and gifts lay in the hall, waiting for me to open. My dad was busy with preparations for the big party, so he asked my nanny to take me shopping. Nanny had taken care of me after my mom died, and she meant a lot to me. I saw a beautiful dress at the boutique, and immediately claimed it as mine. I was holding onto the packet soon after.

We were running late, and the rain didn’t help matters much either. In the rush on the streets, somehow, my hand slipped out of Nanny’s but before I could say a word, I found a hand on my mouth, and I was carried into that dark alley. I was scared and he gagged me. He let me down, but I only saw the wall in front of me. When I turned, I saw him coming for me. I closed my eyes.

I remember his hands touching me, under my dress. I remember his blood on my face, and Nanny standing with a knife in her hand. I remember sitting on my knees next to her and crying. After that day, I shunned the rain for a long time. I never cried again after that. I fought hard to make my dreams come true, to forget that day. Maybe my mom and Nanny are happy seeing me today.

As I look out the window today, I still see the rain. But I see me too. Joan Alexander, rich, successful and one of the most brilliant businesswomen New York has ever seen. I am whoever I wanted to be.

Word Count:390 Pic: rain by lonelypierot(deviantart)

19 comments:

  1. WOW Vinay ... this one is too good - almost flawless - dont bother about that 'almost' - this is a masterpiece ...

    Thank God that I need not judge any thing here ... I'm just a reader now and would appreciate more posts like this ...

    I do not know about the contest outcome, but would like to thank Vinay (Leo) and all other great writes here, for sharing their masterpieces ...

    God Bless!!

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  2. abt story

    brillaint,kudos ...a sweet narration bro....especially that bday part and description of urself when the stranger came and all was great

    really glad to see so many responses...

    sandeep .....this is going better man

    too many challenges and yet to see more of best writers .....so got to be a tough one yaar

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  3. i agree wid ste and tan...a really strong piece...i loved the way you went about writing the first para..the way you set the background for flashback was commendable...and the ending too...your strength lies in the way you can take the reader along with you back and forth in time...small grammatical mistakes here n there...apart from that..this was really a strong piece...riveting!

    ste...i think the bestest of writers have written..now the everyday writers like me remain...am no match..he he :P ...these guys are just brilliant...

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  4. that was a an awesome narration.. never lost the flow.. between the past n the present..


    was a lovely read :)

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  5. I disagree. So many ideas jumbled up in one piece. a span of 30 years. I wonder how the nanny reached there, where did the knife come from, did nanny die in the struggle? was she strong enough to stab him to death? where suddenly the dreams came off, right after the blood and rain..

    err... !!! LEO, I trust you can do better, please prove :)

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  6. Again Asbah ... Again HOW?

    We agreed we will not ask how .. didnt we??

    Why 'HOW', now?

    Chill ... ask 'why' and enjoy the story ... Its not my PhD Theses, that needs to be on the pin point ... let the story roam around - along with the ideas - this is how we learn and spread and grow!!

    .......

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  7. @tan
    thanks mate, glad u think its a masterpiece!! :)

    @ste
    thanks, glad u loved the narration.

    @raghav
    thanks!!

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  8. @sandeep
    glad u liked the narration, though i'll try avoiding the grammatical too next time!!

    @ani
    thanks!! :)

    @lover
    thanks!! nanny is impt!! :)

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  9. @asbah
    ur views are valid, ideas are a bit jumbled perhaps, but there was a set word limit...!! :D

    but i feel, that some incidents, like nanny reaching there and the knife could be imagined...!!

    will definitely try to better it...!! thanks for ur thoughts!! :)


    @tan
    thanks for the support dude!! :) and "why" is good enuf too..!!

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  10. HEy...NIce piece of work...
    I disagree with asbah..!! As u said, the coming coming there is obvious that you imagine it. That's the beauty. U must read between the lines, and u have done tat well.
    Very nice narration. :)

    And yes the word limit is a challenge .. To small to explain everything..!!

    Cheers..!!
    Arjun

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  11. Good ...

    nop wait .. this one is just so wow !!!

    I liked the way you handeled the past and present references ably .. The last line is an inspiration for all of us ... :)

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  12. yeah i understand now though Tan, no HOWs :P

    so, WHY did the nanny reach there .. lol

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  13. okay, my last post was ... silly! so it can be skipped!

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  14. @asbah
    nanny came to rescue her baby girl Joan...!! :)

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  15. Right Asbah,
    nanny came to rescue her baby girl Joan...!! :)

    lol ...

    Jo bhi ho, you understood the concept of Why and How ...

    Why did you do that?
    How are they different?

    lol!!!! :D :D :D

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