December 10, 2008

That Feeling of Guilt


And there he lay, across the puddle, in a pool of blood, leaving me completely alone and helpless. My Tears came trickling, mixing with the incessant rain pouring down and diluting with his blood. I had lost my parents 5 years back and he was like my support system and here I am laying flowers on his grave. I don’t feel like living anymore.

Girish: Be Strong, Melvyn It’s his 1’st death anniversary. You can’t break down like that. Has the killer been caught?

Melvyn: No, the case is still pending in the Kerela High Court and I don’t know what to do”.

Girish: Well, so is my sister’s. It’s been 2 years and everybody seems clueless.

Melvyn: Jennifer was a very good friend of my brother’s. He used to talk highly of her

Girish: Ohh did he? Wasn’t he a witness in my sister’s case?

Melvyn :Yes, he was, In fact, I remember he calling me up 2 days back before he got killed to say how wrongly he was being dragged into that case. He liked Jennifer only as a friend and how some people didn’t seem to like that

Girish: But…in the court that evening?

Melvyn: Yes, he said all the wrong things in court just to save your sister from being character assassinated. I still can’t understand why someone would kill such a nice man like him. Anyways, why are we discussing all that …I can’t seem to see my future, feel like killing myself now.

Girish: No! Be strong man.Anyways I gotta go.

Melvyn: Yeah, Thanks for coming man …You are my real Friend. I owe you a lot. Bye!


The Kerala monsoon had just hit the coast of Cochin and as Girish left the mortuary, the rain started to beat down heavily down the street. His bloody hands were washed down by the rain that night but this night, a strong feeling of guilt choked his throat. He almost could feel blood coming from the sky instead of rain. How could he do it and leave his best friend like that? The sound of Rain didn’t let him sleep the whole Night. Next Morning he got the news of Melvyn’s Suicide death. The incessant rain didn’t stop after that, It continued to pour.
Word Count:377

14 comments:

  1. I think i did not understand the story :(
    read twice but smhow confused among the characters ...
    who killed whom ???

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  2. A Killer cant write this much - he cant even think this much ... How could you think all that?

    lol!

    Nice one ... one of the tops .. a little bit less of rains though ... but it was enough to wet the environment ... good one :)

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  3. @ pretty me

    err...Girish had Killed Melvyn's brother ....I hope others get it ...Did I make it that complicated ??? :(

    @ Tan

    Thanxs Tan .....Less rains ..Yeah may be .....May it's because of the word count thingy.

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  4. The word count was a constraint all right ... contest on rain needs more downpour on it .. hehehe ... thats why I'm bawling about it in every other comment ...

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  5. hehe if you leave the writes free, they can create a havoc :P hence a constraint..

    anyways, no actually i didnt get the story too, read it while heeding back home and thought that my mind is somewhat effected by a 3 hour journey, re-read it, and still..

    how can there was a pool of blood and the grave in on paragraph? and one year to his death in another. and i was also confused about see this:

    “Jennifer was a very good friend of my brother’s. He used to talk highly of her .Ohh did he?

    i couldnt get that where the second man started his speech.


    it is actually one of the best stories so far, just that it is half-cooked, re-consider it Anurag :)

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  6. @ asbah

    I thought I had undercooked it a little ...Yes it does need editing.

    Will do it.Thanxs Asbah :)

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  7. hey anurag

    i have the same doubt as asbah

    read it thrice but stilled confused abt the convo and characters

    how does jenifer comes into pics and how r they related and its really complicated.....

    i couldnt get that where the second man started his speech.

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  8. Good show!!

    I recently started a blog of mine. I would love it if you would add me to your blog roll and vice verse. http://luscious69.blogs

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  9. Quite a read!! Unlike the others I understood. :D

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  10. make that two guys who understood anurag...and liked the mallu touches to the story..he he...but i do agree that you leave too much on the reader to deduce...i wont call it "uncooked"...i would prefer calling it a lil "unbaked"..a lil unbaked on the edges...thats it...just a few lines here and there to bridge that gap n ensuring that the reader does not have to strain to find the connect...just add some lines which may act as an aid to the readers...but wonderful thought bro..remorse...a totally new genre explored by you here...a pat on the back for that ;-)

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  11. lol make that 3 hehe.. n must agree with sandy..hehe nice mallu touch..

    but must say lovely story.. considered writing thrillers???

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  12. well

    niceley written again

    now this is fine

    but last para mein why did melyvin commit suicide
    just coz his bro died and he is left alone

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  13. wow... anurag... wonderfully thought of and realy well written... i simply loved the title..the story tugged onto my heart when i went through it.. i don't know if you would win the contest... but i love your story..!!! cheers!!

    p.s. sorry for commenting late.. technical problems..

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