December 13, 2008

Raining blood....

The heavy downpour tried its level best to wash away the innumerable puddles of blood surrounding the girl...The girl was drenched in blood, crying her eyes out. Drops of blood fell from her eyes, but there was no one to grieve with her..He had promised to stay with her in sorrow and in joy forever!! But was forever just an hour long???

The blood soaked clothes stuck to her body. It made her feel cold, but it didn't even compare to how cold her soul was at that moment!! She hadn't done anything wrong, but why was she the one to suffer???

The rain was Gods way to soothe her, to wipe her tears. But the rain was no more as pleasant as it used to be to her...Whenever drops poured from the heaven, she was the first one to run out and dance in the streets with abandon...but now the same rain was hurting her. It felt like bullets falling on her tender, soft skin!!

It was hard to imagine that the girl was having the time of her life just an hour ago. She was flying high. She was smiling. She had warm arms around her. She was on cloud 9….and all her bliss came crashing down on her...!!!

The engagement ring was still on her ring finger, but it somehow had lost its shine. The sparkling white diamond was now red!! The lifeless body of the boy was beside her. The boy’s face had the same blissful smile he had an hour ago, when he had asked her to marry him. He had the same handkerchief tucked in his pocket which he had used to wipe the happy tears that fell from her eyes an hour ago. But he was no more there to wipe the blood-like tears falling down her cheeks now…

They were holding hands. Reminiscing their happy past and planning for their long future ahead. It seemed like angels were smiling upon both of them….until the speeding metal-clad demon ran over the boy….spilling blood all over. The girl wished she had died along with him…At that moment, death seemed so much sensible to her than living without him!! The demon did not even stop to help her…the boy could have been saved...they could have had everything they were dreaming of…but now the thought seemed futile….he was dead…and so was her soul!!

Word Count:397

P.S. My first entry critical!!

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  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. hmph, at first i wonder what it is, but then, really good one for the first attempt you know Akshat.

    she hasnt done any wrong so why suffer? well - generally you Dont have to do something wrong to suffer, thats the irony of living.

    Welcome in.

    I have a feeling that you haven't read it after writing, please do. You will point out some typos, like

    The rain was Gods way too soothe her,

    "God's way to"

  3. well hadn't got much time...the lunch was getting cold...:P

    would check all the errors soon!!!

  4. Hey Asbah...anyother apprise me!!!

  5. lovely story

    but another sad story on the loungee

    shud say that was good ....shud have read it once again .... few errors ....

    She was on cloud 9….and she fell hard to the ground face down!!!

    guess this statement shud be change....

    i know u can do it welll......good luck brother

  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

  7. Hey i know i could do better ste....would check 4 errors.....but i guess i'd write a new entry!!!

  8. good one ... feelings were nicely expressed :) waiting to read again from u ...

  9. hey pretty me...

    thanks for the read....and you'd surely get more from my side!!!


  10. i willl be more than happy !!

  11. i willl be more than happy !!

  12. really good one akshat... !!! loved the last line... and interesting title too.. !!!

  13. @ Mona...

    Thanks for the compliment!!!

  14. Hey..
    Well done!! A beautiful post.. Good choice of words..and a good narrative technique..
    Hope that I get to read more from your side..

  15. a really good piece. i like it!1

  16. @Aarthi

    Thanks for the appreciation!!...

    Hopefully you would get a lot to read from my side!!!


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