December 9, 2008

of him and her.

Yah Grey clouds obscured the shore lines and made the ambience somewhat sullen.

He pulled away the curtains, gauged the laden skies and swore; he hated rains and cursed at its perpetuality. 'why cant the sun shine always? Why cant it not rain, why cant I live life the way I want to?' Questions do not always bear answers.

The winds rustled the leaves and tempted her to close the anatomy book and pop out. The winds played with her hair locks and caressed her cheeks. She adored rain even if it would rain daily.

Clouds clashed and roared, he was obviously not amused, and it seemed that the down pour would last for the whole day, the match was inevitably postponed and his day was ruined.

Mom had brought her coffee. She sniffed the creamy smell and savored it; he was still in the window, she was sure he was enjoying the weather. Although she couldn’t see him properly owing to the distance and rain, but she considered herself good at presumptions. She smiled.

The drizzle was turning into heavy splashes, he noticed her standing on her terrace, oblivious of everything, talking probably to her mug and steam that rose from it, he wondered at the people who could be so boring and shuddered. It was getting cold, the sudden gush of winds had caused shiver to run down his spine, he zipped up his jersey.

She knew he was looking at him, she could feel the warmth of his gaze. So shy to look up she continued to stare at the intricate patterns of her shoes. But then drifted by the desire she dared lifted her lids, he was gesturing her, must be telling her to go inside, the rain was getting heavy; may be he didn’t want her to get drenched and caught a cold, how thoughtful of him, her smile deepened.

He decided to make it straight and typed the sms 'Hey there, My girl is back in town, so stop making fool of yourself by thinking I am all yours' the delivery report didn't come. The signals were dropping due to the thunderstorm.

Behind the window panes, the rain continued to mourn. Her cell beeped, an incomplete message was receive, she blushed again seeing his name as sender, the text said: ' Hey There, ….. I am all yours'.


  1. As the rains engulf every part of your drenching you..Making you a part of it..I want to be there to make you all mine..

    As the rains make you shiver..I want to touch you and see you quiver

    As the rains make you close your eyes and feel its presence..I want you to feel me all over!!!

    These are the lines that just came to my head!!!

  2. :) Thankyou Rash!

    Ps. the word count is 398.

  3. Ooo..someone used my style :P kidding. I loved the story and the way you narrated it. very touchy..the kind i love to write(and read). Loved it. This one's my fav. among all till now.

  4. Nice one Asbah. I really liked the contrast of thoughts being seen as a third person. Wish I could read peoples mind like that. It was wonderful to read you.

    Well, please take a relook into the following lines:
    She knew he was looking at him (her)
    … incomplete message was receive (received)

  5. partner in crime is back...watever be the sure you wud be ready with ur the enthu you bring in...spurs you up...

    back to the post...lovely narration...simply loved the flow...and the end was the icing on the cake...a strong have raised the bar! everyone is posting such brilliant stuff man...

  6. and rashi...that was a lovely piece that you have posted above...really good..

  7. thats what i love about this blog, you bring out your best and someone finds a flaw in it giving you space to improve :p

    thankyou Tan. I Honestly want people to find flaws to improve rather than saying it was brilliant and all! Too much for the swelling bit :P

    and yes Adi, very much impressed by your style, but then i had once read that the best flattery is imitation, (or imitation is the best form of flattery, something of a like :p)

    ehems.. waitin for your post sandeep :p and Adi, yours! and every one else's

  8. I seriously love the way u write ...more than the story's the words that u use to convey those emotions leaves me spellbound .... well done :)

  9. too good !!! and some one said he doesnt write fiction !!!!

    *eyes rolling*

    this was really nice ...

  10. Hey, I loved the presentation of this story....
    The contrasts well brought out....

    I thought the ending could have been better. Just my thought though.
    But as Sandeep said, u've raised the bar. Serious contender.


  11. * eyes wide open*

    omg wht a peice of work......she was

    nice expressions ...good to read like .....he was asking him to go inside considering the heavy rain factor and she was thinking of him.....and he sends and sms ....

    but didnt got one thing

    how come she get an incomplete sms containing last few words....hey i am all yours..... :p

    but shud say that it was gr8

    arjun we r shud wait for sandeep and lover.......infact i am waiting for their post...quick guys

    they r the biggies...... can say top contendors...but asbah ...can say that u rocked girl .....

  12. haha! Pretty me, it is a 'she' actually :P do i not look like a girl? arrgh :P

    thankyou :) this really helps me improve!

    and ste, bhai everything is possible in:

    1) Rajni kant movies
    2) dreams
    3) Stories.

    so somehow it happened. Honestly speaking i have gotten half messages myself, where the text is missing from in between ... even if it doesnt happen, it is still a story na!

  13. Guys ... its a story ... Do not ask how ... ask why and you start loving the write!

    Things happen as you write them ... So, let more write-up get posted and more of such things happen - thats what I am waiting for ...


  14. oh i c that asbah

    i never got half messages hehehe

  15. that was a lovely post dearie..

    and it was very well written and such a lovely flow.. amazing read :)

  16. yeah tan :).

    Guess the network there is really strong ste?

    Ani, thankyou :)

  17. a great post this is, asbah!! i sometimes wonder how your brain works so well... i love the contrast on both the sides... and the sms part was absolutely mindblowing... a great one... surely deserves a pat on the back and a big round of applause... hats off to u!!

    girl.. u r a genius!!!

    p.s. sorry for commenting so late...

  18. This was beautiful Asbah :)
    I'm so sorry for not being here before... been away... Ste gave me this link and have to admit.... it's LOVELY :)

    Rock on Girl!!!


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