October 28, 2009

First Intimacy

Her heart pumped faster than ever. She felt a lump in her throat. Felt knots in stomach.. The proximity increased with each step. He just took a small eye lash which was on her cheek and put it in his palm and asked her to wish for something good. She was like "Phew"

P.S. My very first attempt on 55 fiction.
Constructive Criticisms please :)

Cross posted from Enigmatic Rantings

13 comments:

  1. cute! it was fun and possible!

    i enjoyed it!

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  2. loved the plot and the execution !! but the last line was bit crude ..

    could be "she let out a sigh of disappointment mixed with relief .." smthing like ds :)

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  3. Better than mine.;-)..really nice..:-)..loved it..:-)..

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  4. aMar ... never compare writes ! be proud of wat u wrote :)

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  5. @Amar.. :) I second PS... don't compare.. yours is good too :)

    @all thanks guys :)

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