Some tips Love Guru style :-)

Had been talking to a friend about some of his problems and ended up advising a bit based on my experiences. This is something about relationships I have learnt from my friends and thought would be useful for all of us :-)

1. Maintain your individuality in a relationship. There is never going to be a person who is the exact copy of you in beliefs and likings. We generally tend to be friends or get into a relationship with someone who matches most of what we are like. But remember none of us can be totally like the other person, so don't try to change yourself or the other person as it will lead to resentment in the future.

2. Say you had a terrible fight with your significant other. You guys said things that you dont normally say in the course of the fight. Be sorry for over reacting but never be sorry for having a different opinion. Fights are just that - a difference of opinion. So dont bend over backwards the next day and apologise and say you will change, if you feel that you were correct in your own right. Apologise for the course the fight took but do hold your ground if you feel your opinion is right. That ways both of you will be honest to each other. And love doesnt mean agreeing to everything the other person says.

3. Sometimes taking a break from the relationship is the best thing to do. It helps both of you cool down and look at things rationally and objectively. Of course there is the downside that one of you might not want to continue after that, but then if that is the case, remember it is good riddance. Its tough to swallow that I know, but love should come freely and not because someone feels sorry for you.

4. Attraction has no reason but a relationship starts due to many factors. Sometimes it is because you both share a common grief. Now this could be dangerous, because at the end of the day it maybe that both of you are feeling sorry that the other is in the same shit as you and that is why you are trying to console each other. While it could lead to a meaningful relationship, what you should guard against is trying to be the other person's saviour. You will not only end up feeling drained, the other person might not think of all of it as your 'sacrifice' because frankly he/she didnt ask for it, you gave it yourself. Dont try to please, just love. And remember people change only if they want to, you cant make them.

5. Dont be very careful with each other. Dont always keep thinking that you shouldnt hurt the other person. Sometimes hurt is unavoidable so that you can come to a better understanding of what drives both of you. If you always let your views take the backseat thinking it shouldnt hurt the other, then you will end up feeling that you are the only one who cares and that the other person doesnt. Whereas the truth is you are the one bending over backwards.

6. Talk things out always. Maybe not immediately but after the tempers cool. But be honest about what you think and feel. And learn to accept the other person as they are. They might not be perfect, but they are the best for you, after all that is why you chose them isn't it?

Have fun all of you and keep loving.