May 11, 2009

Bleeding to death...mentally!




I study in SATHYABAMA UNIVERSITY....yep you guys heard it right....
Those who stay in Chennai...they know this. Those who don't, god forbid you don't have to.
I will be entering my third year and these two years have been nothing but hell....
First of all the college itself...the administrative block looks more like the White House...yea the college is huge-ish and beautiful to look at but if there is a hell on earth...then this is its birthplace!

After coming ou of school and +2, when everybody longs for college life.....my parents dumped me here. First day...i had no clue this college was such shit....and then it started.
Rule number 1| no interaction with the opposite sex...(ever)...if you are caught doing so, instant suspension for 3 months.....(openly disregards the right to freedom)
Rule number 2| no mobiles allowed....(for hostelites its even worse...no cell, no ipods, no computers)
Rule number 3| only formal wear.....(atleast am glad they didn't come up with a lousy dress code)
Rule number 4| you can come and go only by college bus....that mean's no bike, nothing.....you miss your bus...you aren't allowed to attend that day
Rule number 5| if you stay in hostel, you are entitled to a few hours of freedom twice a month (note: you aren't even allowed to get out of hostel into the college campus on other days)....and that also after you produce a fax from your parents....every alternate Sundays....guys are allowed 2 sundays...gals...the other two sundays

You can bet your ass that am glad i don't stay in that shitty hostel. To make things worse...there are a group of chaprasis...called the Squad...who monitor every student...they answer only to the biggest prick of all...our chancellor, Jeppiar!!!

Two years back...our college decided to organise an event...the first time a cultural was organized in this shithole....it was called Femfest....and it was massive. But....yea there's always a but....such an event meant boys and gals would interect freely....Now how can the management let that happen.....So the motto of the event turned out to be..."by the gals....for the gals"
That meant we, the guys, were royally screwed in the ass! FCUK! even the Director was not allowed to attend...coz he's a guy (more of a faggot actually)

The post would be incomplete without saying a few words about our Chancellor, Jeppiar. This guy built the college...had immense power and more money than he could handle....he keeps on roaming around the college in his BMW and Merc. And when he speaks...we try damn hard to manage a straight face.
here's why-
During the opening of 1st year when parents escorted their students for the opening day, a few parents were skeptical about leaving their daughters behind....and Jeppiar responded to them like this- "Parents...no fear...yuvar datar (your daughter).....mai datar....i haf two datar...both are girls". A north indian parent asked about language problems since tamil was awfully rampant in the col,...and our wise Chancellor said...."here Yeenglis talking....(dats english btw)...yeenglish tising (teaching)...no funny talking tising...(means other languages were not used)....MY FOOT!!!
Last year when i was in NCC Navy....he came to inspect us....the s.o.b doesn't know a dot about NCC still he had to show his tevar.... he came to us and announced.."yeverybady (everybody)
stand together separately".....now what on earth did that mean!!!

there are lots to say...sometimes i feel am losing my head...heck i survived 2 years...will manage another two more.

P.S| do not join this college if you care about your sanity


33 comments:

  1. have read ds before as forwards !! but it never ceases to make me smile !! thanks for sharing :)

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  2. Man this is truly crazy! Femfest is really hilarious! Do you have Menfest or something too then? :D (No offence..but its a lil weird!)

    Now that "everybody stand separately" has really cracked me up! Good stress-buster in between my coursework. Thanks for sharing this really ;)

    This just reminds me of some lines from my school (The Assam Valley School, you must've heard of it?)

    We call it lingo-mess. If anyone is caught with such lines then they get published in the school's weekly newsletter! lol!

    So here goes (some of which I can remember now):

    1. "I will be more reproductive next time, Sir!"

    2. In a debate, "The house is now open to the floor!"

    3. "I like to visit prawnstars.com" hehehe

    4. Our Maths teacher in Kaminey style "Ferfendicular bisectors..flowers fots"

    5. Our chem teacher "I am the best teacher in the school, but I am not boasting!" haha

    6. Our typical assamese teacher in axomiya style, full on "Seniooors and juniyyoors behave popaaaarly!!!"

    7. Our junior school's physics teacher's definition of a Periscope - "It is an instrument used to see objects without climbing the wall!!!"

    8. Another one from our dear phy teacher "Take an empty beaker filled with water!"

    Man I can go on and on..we have all compiled a list of lingo-mess somewhere..it's hilarious to read them sometimes!

    Need to get back to coursework now. :( Thanks for sharing this post!

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  3. not exactly these rules,,, but i have surely got a forward mail reg this clg.... this was really funny :)

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  4. this is something very strange
    college hai ke jail hain
    me to kahta hu tod do is coll ko
    me tere sath hu freelancer

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  5. My Gosh, you actually survived this place, hats off dude.. I would have gone on a strike for whatever it is worth.. :) But enjoyed reading, hilarious!!

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  6. OMG! I'm so glad I'm done with my coll. That was hilarious although I pity you. Another 2 years?! LMAO! All the best ;) You really need it!

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  7. @ zendagi
    we thot of going for a strike...but there is this huge division betwn north indians and south indians...no unity at al

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  8. Okayy! I guess you hate Sathyabhama more because you have never been to Sastra University! But I would anyhow say...Hard Luck!

    P.S.: Me also a tamilian...! And not all are the same! A bit offended, but nevertheless its true!

    Cheers

    *PEACE*

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  9. @ aarthi...so sorry...didnt mean to offend you...my best friend is a tamilian too....i just wanted to take all my anger on the college

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  10. @ Freelancer,

    Oh, thats okayy! Really! :)

    I understood the reason behind this post!

    Cheers

    *PEACE*

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  11. I don't know how to react to this post...

    I swear.. I want to laugh.. but, feel pity for you..

    Juz two more years bro..

    JUZ YENJOY WITH YUVAR FRIENDS!!!

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  12. oh thanks...though south Indian colleges has always been out of my priority list...but ab to kabhi nai...all my sympathies with you buddy...commendable you survived so far :D

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  13. @ princess nuchu
    hey you might have an opening in our coll...

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  14. @ rose...
    do try in chennai sometimes...lol

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  15. hey freelancer..i ll show ds to ma bro...he has ds collg in his list as an alternative to other big instis....

    i know he ll dump science den :P :D :P

    one of my frnd to is in satyabhama..lemme ask him if its really dat bad...teh collg mag or i guess teh photo album of it....showed it as very magnificent place...or something close to dt.. :/

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  16. just thought of south indian food gets me...i wont try for chennai...thanks buddy...:D

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  17. that was so fantastically hilarious.. how much of tamil do you know.. I guess to understand his english you need to know a little bit of tamil.. ;)

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  18. @ gulshan...
    honestly saying SRM is much better than my coll

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  19. @ rose...
    think how i m survivin....lol..thanx only to kfc

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  20. @ pink orchid...
    hmmm...i kno kunjum kunjum

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  21. ahhh feels like i've read it before....dunno why i have this strong feeling of reading this article before may be on ur blog or may be....the monument does looks like white house :p

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  22. AND MIND IT....EVERY 1 FEELS THE SAME...... ur rules wre perfect daaa.....gues ur an engg r u??

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  23. yea..i wrote sumthn like that...about bunking....in my blog

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  24. ROFAL !! LMAO !!
    Trust me dis aint enuf to tel u how much i laughed after readin ur post..
    "Yeverybady stand seperately together" Man dis line is killin me..
    I kno somethin in Tamil
    Romba Nalla erukku *Hehehehe*

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  25. The most hilarious post i've read in sometime dude...
    especially that "everybody now stand seperately"
    U've got a very good way of expressing humor...
    I'm from Tamilnad too...Know about that shit hole of a college...
    Good luck on ur survival....

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  26. @ blossomblue....
    lol...that's just a glimpse of my col

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  27. @ Freelancer - juz read ur comment.. OMG!! "hahaha.. I don't want to do any opening.. i only accept closing"

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