Passing the days
dragging my wound
deeper everyday,
screaming, crying
Scratching the walls
with my claws,
hope its just a dream,
hope that everything
turns out non existent,
wish its all fake..
I sleep and dream
everything away..
another tomorrow
I now await.....
dragging my wound
deeper everyday,
screaming, crying
Scratching the walls
with my claws,
hope its just a dream,
hope that everything
turns out non existent,
wish its all fake..
I sleep and dream
everything away..
another tomorrow
I now await.....
Well, this is my first poem ever.awaiting for honest comments.
Million thanks to Prats for re-arranging the lines.
I can't believe that its ur first!
ReplyDeleteI loved the tempo.
Way to go!
wow..is it really ur first :O ...wish i had started with such great poems.....u write flawlessly like ur used to writing them...great going :-)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely a good one when its your first time. Dude poetry is nothing but thought evolution. Keep writing and you will eventually evolve with your words. As of me , I liked the non chaotic approach you have when it comes to depict a complex phenomenon like 'dream'.
ReplyDeleteThe part where you say {{{
hope that everything
turns out non existent
wish its all fake ))))
It seemed so simple and profound. I usually encounter poets depicting this scenario rather more in a complex manner like
" illusions under a driftwood
touches the glass of reality
life moves as it should
but reflects a vague serenity "
It means the same as your lines but somehow more twisted and artificial complexity forcefully injected. I hope you get what I mean.
Keep writing bro - You have a fan here ;).
too good for a first one :)
ReplyDeletesometimes, you wake up from your dreams to a bleak nightmare, that leads to no further awakening
*sigh*!
and of course, i am a sadist.
naa asbah u rnt a sadist dear...its very common...u wish that it wasnt a reality..dat u r still sleeping n ven u wake up everything is according to our wishes...but it hardly happens *sigh*
ReplyDeletenywys i cant blv its ur first...its amazing...hats off so few lines n yet so deep...
I do dream at times too... but whenever there is something I dont like, I want to wake up... Hope all evil things are dreams and we can wake up to a beautiful time - humesha!!
ReplyDeleteA very good start....
ReplyDeleteI liked it.... :)
Hope i get a same start... :)
keep it up...
u know i already loved it !!! :)
ReplyDeleteIts a wonderful Frst attempt..
ReplyDeleteyeah..Sometimes dreams can take us to another world..
Keep writing..
Waiting to see more coming up..
i second mohita,
ReplyDeletei cant believe this is ur first either! :)
@ Mohita
ReplyDeleteThank you so much girl u got my tempo :))
Thank you Nabila.. :))
ReplyDelete@ Ragpicker
ReplyDeleteBuddy..may be you are right !! i will use your lines somewhere.
@ Ragpicker
ReplyDeleten i am already a fan of urs..Thanks so much for the suggestions :))
@ Asbah
No asbi..you're not sadist..you are the happiness yourself :)) maafi maafi if i made u sad :))
@ I, Me and Myself
ReplyDeleteThank you for understood me :))
@ Tan
Sirji..u are right in ur way :))
@ vitruvian boy
ReplyDeletehey u dint tell me your name :))
n thank you for loving my poem.. u'l definitely get a great start..wishing u the best :))
I know Prats.. Thanki once again for giving it a poem look :p
ReplyDelete@ Charu
ReplyDeleteThank u so much girl :)) always loves ur comments :)
@ Leo
Thank u Sir..u loved it.. its a nice appreciation for me :))