What have I become,
Scarred, morphed beyond recognition,
A morbid existense it seems,
Stuck halfway through transition!
Into a deep, dark crevice,
Bunched up, cramped,lies my soul,
Hoping to isolate myself, I do,
From the emotional whorl!
Desires, Dreams, Hopes,
Seem alien sentiments to me,
What once was a heart beating with faith,
Now desolate, delapidated, as dead as it can be!
My vision's blurred and hazy,
Cannot distinguish anything for a fact,
Welling up deep inside me,
Abhorrence, odium, and revulsion drives me back!
An unknown hurt of proportions,
Echoes from my core,
My efforts to find a cure,
Only bring about an encore!
A detachment never known before,
Envelops me, swathes me in a shroud,
My soul , my heart, my mind,
Repulse me, feel too much of a crowd!
My hand gripping the blade quivers,poised,
Over my exposed veins, surging with life,
Try as I might, I cannot get myself,
To cut me free from this strife!
Its not the fear of dying,
Nor am I afraid of the pain,
Am not sure if even death,
Can liberate me, make me sane!
Disgusted, mortified I am,
Of my inability to alleviate,
Question providence I do, a lot,
Why did a failure God create?
Something's dying within me,
Numb I am to the ache, the throb,
With lifeless eyes I stare back,
Unperturbed, at the noxious seeming fog!
Disintegrating on the inside,
I don't care about anyone, anymore,
Anguished, helpless, worthless I feel,
And I hate myself to the core!
PS: Image courtesy - 123RF.com
Mav,
ReplyDeletethe poem is straight from the heart undoubtedly.. but it is so damn said! the poem made me pray.. a small prayer that grief recedes and a smile takes over.. :(
Am nt an atheist bt am losing belief in him! Bt appreciate the gesture!
ReplyDelete** :( ** perfectly expressed, sometimes i too feel the same when i realise there are certain limitations in things we can do or achieve ** :( **
ReplyDeleteBut mav isnt that too pessimistic... Hard hitting to the core ;)
some superb lines :-
"Something's dying within me,
Numb I am to the ache, the throb,
With lifeless eyes I stare back,
Unperturbed, at the noxious seeming fog!"
"Desires, Dreams, Hopes,
Seem alien sentiments to me,
What once was a heart beating with faith,
Now desolate, delapidated, as dead as it can be!"
all in all, every line is tooo good.. well written mav ;)
That was too sad Mav... I mean ... dipped in sorrow ...
ReplyDeleteLoved this:
"Desires, Dreams, Hopes,
Seem alien sentiments to me,
What once was a heart beating with faith,
Now desolate, delapidated, as dead as it can be!"
Thnx Tan! nd appreciate da fact dat u likd it Kings!
ReplyDeleteBut cant help da pessimism nd sorrow! srry! :(
mav....kya ho gaya yaar...it really hurts to see you in this sombre mood bro....smile bro...wipe away those tears...you have us...let us hold you in our arms...all of us here....everything will be fine...dont be sad :-(
ReplyDeleteThnx sandeep!
ReplyDeletekind words! TY!
ohh..dat ws soo hard hitting n sad mav...
ReplyDeletepoems r generally written from heart..so if dis is not fiction..den i can imagine wht u must b goin thru...
take care..
it was really morbid
ReplyDeletetake it as a compliment
i could visualise the character's pain and trepidition
wht tragedy...
nice flow of verses...philosophical takes...rythm... the cadence of your language...everything well constituted
count this as one of your masterpieces
Appreciate th concern and the kind words, Priyanka!
ReplyDeleteThnx Aparna, Glad u likd it!
MAVV!!!what a poem..iam spellbound. honestly Mav,this is the best poem i have come across in the lounge. the description was excellent..Mav,iam asking the same que again,how did u get such an idea?? i dont have enough words to say how i liked this one.
ReplyDelete"
Its not the fear of dying,
Nor am I afraid of the pain,
Am not sure if even death,
Can liberate me, make me sane"
these lines are too good.they echo the pain and suffering i am going through these days..
Glad that i could write a poem dat u likd, Crystal Gal (srry i dnt knw ur name :P)
ReplyDeleteWow,nd dat best poem honour was too much for me! There's too much of talent out there, betr writers than me! Ull keep getting such surprises. But the compliment's accepted, no questions asked! :)
I didnt hav to get an idea fr da subject! Nd since u said u wer goin thru da same pain nd suffering, I would just say u found a twin suffering soul! :)