Me and Roshan, after a brain storming session filled with arguments came to the conclusion that we should also include a greeting card along with a birthday present (a monster gorilla) to his neighbour’s kid- Nikil a.k.a Dangerous Darling, on his birthday. We bought a Birthday card on which I was about to write the regular- ‘ With Love from……’ when Roshan interrupted in a way they interrupted marriages in movies. He said to me- “ Even pharmacists are clueless about your hand writing. Give it to me, I’ll write.” A lady standing beside giggled trying to look at the ceiling. I’m basically dust-proof, rain-proof and insult-proof. So, I just walked away. Anyway, after all that non-sense, we entered the party hall, which actually looked like more non-sense. Nikil ran to us and we wished him and presented him the gift and the card & in return he gave us Birthday caps (cones) and paper trumpets (we call it pee-pee). I blew hard with it and all the kids followed suit, which made me close my ears and made their parents’ BP levels rise. People who knew me well enough, in a weird way could conveniently establish the relation between- Parents’ BP levels and me. That didn’t make me any prouder, but as I said, I was insult-proof.
Anyway, they served us a ‘Welcome Drink’. Holding the drink we found a seat for ourselves. While I could finish a glass of juice in 4 seconds, Roshan takes 4 minutes. He’s like a lazy senior citizen. Meanwhile one known ‘aunty’, who was extra-large in size came by and said to me with a wicked, disgusting smile- “ You have gained weight. You were so good looking.” The happiest person on earth at that point of time, Roshan replied- “ Aunty, I have a six pack. Did I tell you? ”
Aunty smiled and looked at me waiting for a reply. I thought about many replies but said- “ He has a six pack. I have a family-pack.” She laughed but wasn’t amazed. Who cares?
Then, dinner was ready for me and I was ready for dinner. My plate got so jam-packed that I couldn’t even see the plate. I found a seat to hog on to the stuff on my plate. Meanwhile the kids put color papers and some scrap on my head and took snaps. They loved me like hell. I was reminded of the joke- “I have just returned from a children's party. I'm one of the survivors.” Roshan dint find any girl, so he sat quiet. He suddenly went to a two year old kid and started talking- “ chu chu chu… chu chu chu…” and I began to wonder who was two year old. Meanwhile that extra-large aunty came by along with her daughter. She pointed at me and told her daughter- “ Go ask him if that is a basket ball or his tummy.” They both giggled. They themselves were extra large and that tested my ‘insult-proofing.’ It was time to show my ‘man-ness’. I looked out for Roshan for company but he had already found a girl and was talking some crap like how much he liked ice-creams.
Anyway, I walked to that aunty and her daughter. The children just started singing- “ Humpty Dumpty…” I asked aunty curiously- “ Aunty, do you measure your weight in a weighing machine or a Richter scale?” and sang along “Humpty Dumty sat on a wall…” with the kids.
HAHAHAH! Good read... I hate these aunties who weigh like a 100 kilos themselves but they make it a point to pass comments on the others! It was fun.. :P
ReplyDeleteArjun is back !!! yipppeee ! now i feel like having a party :D
ReplyDeleteBTW, a good one as ever !! :D
ReplyDeleteps: i should not laugh coz all those insults can be easily pointed to me ;)
@Satan's Darling...
ReplyDeleteYeah... Those lipstick laden aunties na..... hehe
Thanks
@Prats..
U r a sweetheart Prats... u dont fall into that category.. dont worry.. :)
Thanks so much.. :)
Cheers..!!
Arjun
wow arjun!!
ReplyDeletehilarious!! as alwys!
was a good refreshment sittin in a borin class! :P
dust-proof, rain-proof and insult-proof!!
family pack!
richter scale!!
hehehe...lolll
My posts have totally spoilt u fan.!! hehe..
ReplyDeleteThanks yar..
Cheers..!!
Arjun
arjunnnn...this is what i like about your posts...the simple language and the flow...and the hilarious endings...the way you build things up till the end...n then...splash..ur trademark humour..welcome back bro...belt out more...he he
ReplyDeleterefreshing read of the day...lol... :D ..
ReplyDeletelike Pri said ---
ReplyDeletedust-proof, rain-proof and insult-proof!!
family pack!
richter scale!!
hehehe...lolll
and i loved it arjun... for a detailed comment from me - refer the saved chats of arjun's gmail account.. ;)