February 5, 2009

Destination Unknown!!!

Its ironical,,even after being Myself for more than two decades,,I am still at a loss to foresee my life even 5 years hence..!!!
Quite often these days,,when I sit and think about my life ahead,,an envelope of fear and uncertainity cocoons my vulnerable psyche..Contemplation leads to perplexity,,perplexity leads to fear.,,and finally, fear gives way to countless fazing thoughts.
Though, just a few months beforehand,,I would have never paid heed to such startling notions..I was one among those super zealous youngsters carrying glitterings dreams of a bright future ahead in my enthusiastic eyes.
Like others of the same age,,I also entertained high hopes of a personified existence. I cherished dreams of achieving everything that I ever dreamt of in the shortest span of time. I wanted to do so much for my parents,,my friends ,indeed myself and my prospective family ahead.! Wish I could do that even today.!!
One probable regret that I would always harbour in my heart is.................(Neah, forget it.)
As a child, I always made my parents feel proud of my achievements in academics , sports ,extracurriculars. The treasureable medals and certificates are undoubtedly, my most prized possessions till date. Since the age of 9-10, I aspired of becoming a Biotechnologist..My mother stood by my me,,fanning all my dreams and desires. My Dad too went a little too further in reciprocating my desires. I had almost reached my terminus,,when destiny played its part. I flipped my stream..Took up Journalism with high hopes of making it Big in the dominion of media and communication. Today, when I was about to reach my journey's end yet again , I find myself standing at the same cross-roads. The wide array of the available career options has muddled my determination. I am at a loss to choose among MBA , Media and Mass Communication , PR and Advertising , Master's in English Literature..
However,Whenever I dare to dust off my dreams, chasing away such filthy feelings..the fanciful thoughts of a mesmerising time ahead mellows my heart. So what if I am oblivious to my professional growth ahead,,so what if I am oblivious to my prospective family ahead. Whatever may be the circumstances, I would still lead my life in the same modus, in perfect synchronisation with my dreams..without a speck of bargain.!
I have alwys been perturbed by this over-rated statement,,often put up by friends , teachers n' elders.."Aena, where do you see yourself 5years down the lane..???.!!"
Eehhhh...its pricking..!! But today,, I earnestly wish to decode this riddle..So,here goes a sober attempt...
Five years down the lane..............................???!!!!
Well,, seems like something illusory though.But on a serious note, Definitely life would be a great deal easier..,,devoid of the present enigma.,,with all confusions sorted out,,and all fantcies attained.
I would be doing something substantial,, would be more independent , rather self-dependent..!! On a lighter note, I would be more responsible, my carefree attitude would have to be dispensed with.!! I would be shouldering the responsibilty of an entire family..
In short, I would be set free from my present "aimless life of Nothingness!".I would definitely have achieved More out of life,,rather More out of Me..!!


  1. you will figure it all out.. our changed perspecitive changes a hell lot of things.. all the best girl!!

  2. everything will be fine....it happens...it happens with everyone...you arrive at crossroads at every stage of life when you ask yourself this question...and more often than not the decision is on impulse...n then we realise it after some years n then again we are at crossroads...that is life...the journey is full of decisions that you have to make...and 5 years from nw...he he..thats what they ask in all interviews...thats the default question!

    You will figure it out....rest assured...superhero da promise!!

    With great powers come great responsibilities...n side effects too ;-)

  3. hi mohita...i too felt the same thing when i switched my career from medicine to pharmacy.whatever happens life must go on..

    very well expressed..

  4. very well written...can relate too..
    life is highly unpredictable...!! seems like evrything ws just plain normal n good only some months back...n hell...wht now!

    *stepCOCK..our hero...help!! ;)

  5. @the pink orchid

    U knoe what, i always look forward to your reviews. Thanks buddy!

  6. @stepCOCK

    Agreed.!! It happens everywhere,, with everyone..yet the "sense of loss" is Killing..!!
    But yes, how can i forget..
    StepCock is here..!!

  7. @stepCOCK

    Agreed.!! It happens everywhere,, with everyone..yet the "sense of loss" is Killing..!!
    But yes, how can i forget..
    StepCock is here..!!

  8. @ Crystal gal, Priyanka.

    I am glad, u could relate to it.!!

  9. hey! looks like you wrote the life story I never intended to write... :D 'tis so relatable I felt some one was telling me about my life!

  10. @Akansha

    Glad to know that!!
    There couldn't have been a better remark than that.

  11. It was a worthy read.. m glad i did not hurry with it.. for me, the last line, last words were enough to tell that you definitely will make it !!

  12. Being the cut throat, competitive and no holds barred world as it is now,I cant but agree more than enough in what you have expressed and also desire to do or to achieve.

    The last statement, was perhaps more than just apt and perfect in putting it out, how exactly one can go ahead (as it applies not only to you but all of us,especially the youngsters)in his/her life!!!!!!!

    There is always this crossroads,turning points,adapting to unfamiliar and peculiar situations and the most difficult part is getting the desired meaning from it, as things doesn't always goes as one expects or plans :)

    Destination is unknown, but the driver is very familiar, its the strength and weaknesses of the driver that has to be tweaked a bit here and there to go on and find the meaning in life for which we've strived so hard, what ever it may be, big or small!!!

    all de best for de future endeavours ,signed by another perplexed/apalled human trying to find the meaning in being the true human being.


  13. @Kings

    I agree!
    I know that one fine day,this enigma would ultimately reach its destined end.But till then, the journey itself is so tiresome and intimidating that the traveller looses the charm of his/her chase.
    Nevertheless, there is no other way out.


  14. yup..rightly said..but are we the traveller or the driver!!!!

    finally its our life, isn't it...risks abound..no other go :)


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