Its ironical,,even after being Myself for more than two decades,,I am still at a loss to foresee my life even 5 years hence..!!!
Quite often these days,,when I sit and think about my life ahead,,an envelope of fear and uncertainity cocoons my vulnerable psyche..Contemplation leads to perplexity,,perplexity leads to fear.,,and finally, fear gives way to countless fazing thoughts.
Though, just a few months beforehand,,I would have never paid heed to such startling notions..I was one among those super zealous youngsters carrying glitterings dreams of a bright future ahead in my enthusiastic eyes.
Like others of the same age,,I also entertained high hopes of a personified existence. I cherished dreams of achieving everything that I ever dreamt of in the shortest span of time. I wanted to do so much for my parents,,my friends ,indeed myself and my prospective family ahead.! Wish I could do that even today.!!
One probable regret that I would always harbour in my heart is.................(Neah, forget it.)
As a child, I always made my parents feel proud of my achievements in academics , sports ,extracurriculars. The treasureable medals and certificates are undoubtedly, my most prized possessions till date. Since the age of 9-10, I aspired of becoming a Biotechnologist..My mother stood by my me,,fanning all my dreams and desires. My Dad too went a little too further in reciprocating my desires. I had almost reached my terminus,,when destiny played its part. I flipped my stream..Took up Journalism with high hopes of making it Big in the dominion of media and communication. Today, when I was about to reach my journey's end yet again , I find myself standing at the same cross-roads. The wide array of the available career options has muddled my determination. I am at a loss to choose among MBA , Media and Mass Communication , PR and Advertising , Master's in English Literature..
However,Whenever I dare to dust off my dreams, chasing away such filthy feelings..the fanciful thoughts of a mesmerising time ahead mellows my heart. So what if I am oblivious to my professional growth ahead,,so what if I am oblivious to my prospective family ahead. Whatever may be the circumstances, I would still lead my life in the same modus, in perfect synchronisation with my dreams..without a speck of bargain.!
I have alwys been perturbed by this over-rated statement,,often put up by friends , teachers n' elders.."Aena, where do you see yourself 5years down the lane..???.!!"
Eehhhh...its pricking..!! But today,, I earnestly wish to decode this riddle..So,here goes a sober attempt...
Five years down the lane..............................???!!!!
Well,, seems like something illusory though.But on a serious note, Definitely life would be a great deal easier..,,devoid of the present enigma.,,with all confusions sorted out,,and all fantcies attained.
I would be doing something substantial,, would be more independent , rather self-dependent..!! On a lighter note, I would be more responsible, my carefree attitude would have to be dispensed with.!! I would be shouldering the responsibilty of an entire family..
In short, I would be set free from my present "aimless life of Nothingness!".I would definitely have achieved More out of life,,rather More out of Me..!!