Bill Gates Learns to Download!! (The Adventures of StepMAN - 6)

To read the earlier parts Click here

# Co-written by Arjun n Sandeep. (Thanks a ton Arjun for taking time out despite your busy schedule and penning such a hilarious part.)


Stephy, who’d had an early morning holy dip into the college drainage chamber couldn’t bear with his own stench anymore. The stench was nauseating. The drainage chamber was the home of a colony of cockroaches and incidentally one had tagged along with Stephy, which was presently busy in sight seeing. Prof. Rag stood like a cowboy contemplating Stephy top to bottom, wondering if Stephy could fit in into horror movies. The cockroach reached Stephy’s left thigh, which made him raise his right leg. Prof. Rag zoomed in avidly with his imaginary camera on to Stephy’s thighs. The cockroach seemed to be enjoying this exploration of it’s almost ‘second home’ and further strolled to Stephy’s right thigh, which made him lift his left leg shaking his upper torso feverishly. Prof. Rag thought he had found his perfect disciple as he observed and admired Stephy’s Dev Anand dance steps. Stephy then did a sudden pelvic thrust when the cockroach bit him, which reminded Prof. Rag of Mithun. “A solo performance from him on the freshers’ night, surely” he made a mental note.

Stephy, who couldn’t handle all this anymore, dashed back in full speed into the hostel corridors, almost beating P.T Usha’s record by a whisker, breezed through his room doors and jumped into the bathroom. Arjun, who had just sprayed almost a gallon of perfume on his neatly pressed shirt, hurried out of the room to head to the classroom. Meanwhile, Stephy showered briskly singing along a fast-forwarded version of the Tarzan song. He then, slued to his cupboard, found the keys of the locker and drew out a concealed blue flowery boxer from it, put it on and safely locked up the locker. He then dug out a pair comprising of a fluorescent green shirt along with a red trouser, which he had specifically bought for the first day of college to impress girls. His funda in life was simple. Pass the message to the girls that you are a colorful personality and they will fill your life with colors. Clothes were the best way to create that impression. Stephy knew deep within that he was unique. He took great pride when people admired him for his stylish dressing sense. All throughout school and Graduation College, all his classmates had admired this dressing sense. Seldom did he know that they all laughed behind his back. They always asked him for the secret behind his unique combinations, but he never gave anything out. Today was no different. He wanted to stand out from the crowd. He did not want to get lost in the swarm of college students in starched blue shirts and black pants. He combed his hair, flipped away the comb, blew a kiss to his image on the mirror and announced to himself- “All you girls, look out, here I come…” and fled to reach his classroom.

As and when he entered the corridors like a vagrant, he realized that he was already running late by 15 minutes to the class. As he approached his classroom, he noticed a bald headed professor addressing the class. The professor announced- “Now that I’ve told you about this college and it’s history, I’ll tell you something about myself. I’m Prof. T.H Narayan.” Arjun, who was sitting surrounded by girls, commented- “T.H Narayan is nothing but Three Hairs Narayan.” Few girls laughed while a few nerds made faces of disgust. Stephy, from the door interrupted and asked in express speed- “Excuse me Saaar, Can I please get in Saaar?” and smiled like a joker. “Why are you late, my boy? This is the first class of your course and you are late?” Prof. T.H Narayan looked worried more so with his zany outfit. Stephy held both his hands shyly like a bride and let out another smile. Prof. Narayan, who was a BP patient, counted 1 to 10 in his mind, exhaled deeply and said out of helplessness- “Get in, but don’t repeat it.”

Most girls in the class recognized him and made strange faces at his very sight. Stephy stood there and scanned the whole class. Every seat besides a girl had been occupied. This was just a makeshift classroom for the orientations. He was told that they would be having their class in amphitheatre shaped classrooms where they would sit according to their roll numbers. Stephy was desperately praying to god to be sandwiched between two girls in that roll call list. Stephy found a seat on the third bench. Arjun, who contemplated Stephy top to bottom, let out another comment such that all the girls could hear- “Look at that dumbo roomie of mine, he looks like a door-to-door salesman with his green-red combo today. Hey Stephy, do you sell socks or frocks?”

Stephy sat lost, dreaming about the whole drama that went on since yesterday till this moment. All of a sudden, his stomach started to churn. It was making strange grunting noises. The jamalgota inside him had started its effect once again. He felt a desperate need to have a tête-à-tête with nature. The Professor continued- “Last year, when Mr. Bill Gates was here, I invited him to my house to show my…”

“Toilet” Ste stood up. “Saaar, urgent toilet. Please let me go.”

Prof. Narayan counted 1 to 10 in his mind, exhaled deeply and calmly said- “Go. Get lost.” Stephy ran to the loo, while the professor explained to the students as to how the whole chain of his thoughts break if any one student interrupts the whole class. Anyway, after the small lecture, he began again with- “Last year, when Mr. Bill Gates was here, I invited him to my toilet…that stupid boy…I am extremely sorry students…Last year, when Mr. Bill Gates was here, I invited him to my house”

“Can I come Sir?” Stephy asked sheepishly from the door. “I mean, can I come into the class, Sir?” he repeated. Once again, Prof. Narayan did his counting and cynically allowed him into the class. Arjun laughing at Stephy, this time commented- “Fully downloaded uh? What was the download speed?” and giggled away. Stephy did settle down in his seat but was feeling really uncomfortable. The jamalgota in his system was still playing tricks. He was doomed to visit the loo all over again now. Prof. Narayan for the third time, again continued- “Last year, when Mr. Bill Gates was here, I invited him to my house to see my house. He knows my wife well because of her involvement in charity work and asked if he could take her along with him to my...”

“Toilet” Stephy stood again and said- “Saar, need to go to the toilet again.Urgent toilet Saar”

Prof. T.H Narayan who was a BP patient did no longer control himself, he almost pulled off those three hairs that was left in him, grabbed his ink pen, aimed and flung it towards Stephy and ran towards him.


## NavChawla StepTAGGED for co-writing the next with me