January 13, 2009

ZERO feeling

There was no sign of sleep in her eyes, she tried to close them and found a horrible remark from the other end. This was pretty disturbing for her; Stella couldn’t concentrate on anything, any activity of daily routine.
It became difficult for her to figure out actually what was troubling her so much. She didn’t know what was going wrong and how things are too be made proper. Stella wasn’t happy, and she had no reason, a sign of nothingness was appearing there. A feeling of zero was killing her mind-set inside.
She felt diseased and broken after few days of zero feeling. This all was happening gradually and she could sense the cracks of soul inside. It wasn’t the virtual world it was something that was happening to her, some kind of virus or some psychological disorder anything it could be.
She had no longer interest left in making insurance policies and hence she abandoned the office work, and tried to meditate the reasons of this weird numbness which she was going through. Stella started reading books on different topics, watched movies some jazz and rock music just to evoke something or any damn thing.
She even regulated her daily routine in some different manner, as she was a divorcee and had no kids; she was free and had less of the tasks.
Days went on and on, Stella wasn’t getting any signs if improvement, she even went to see a doctor, but it was of no help. She admitted the same sensation after the treatment; Stella was not a mental patient, though everybody around her now started running away from her.
Gradually, her health declined and she was restricted to bed, she was ill, alone and had no one to take her care off. In the last days of her life, Nick (her ex- husband) went to see her, kissed her gently and said, “Happiness is meant to be shared, living alone is not a curse, in fact it’s one of the best ways to explore yourself, you wanted to live your life accordingly, I know I was the man of your life, but you never realized that. You wanted to live alone and that’s it you are alone; life follows a path of anabolism and catabolism. Something has to break and something has to join. I suppose it’s the law of nature. I have no idea till what time I would be able to see you here but I missed you in my life and I will.”
Nick walked away and Stella died the next day.


  1. joie, what an entrance in the lounge dear...! i think its ur first na...?

    good read, nicely penned! :)

  2. Sigh!

    I wanted to climb to the top,
    For my success, i never wanted to stop.
    You came and share my life
    Asked me to be your wife.
    Prove myself I had to
    Be the best in everything I do.
    You couldn't wait
    Said it would be too late.
    Today, I lay here, on my last breath
    and you say you did wait.
    You say I have missed
    and walk away after we have kissed.

  3. wow !! nice one :)

    @Rashi : you reminded me of a poem of mine.. let me hunt it n post :)

  4. @Joie: Vinay's comment tells me its you first..
    great work :)

    p.s. reading this i am sad.. ok i am off to a bucket of chocolate icecream to cheer myself up... the weight-loss-resolution goes down the drain :P

  5. It kinda reflects my present mood... so I can almost touch it!
    Really nice...

  6. tragic post!

    the ending really moved me

    welcome to WL

    keep writing such wonderful pieces!

  7. ahh a silent soul....woked up haan

    first post and wht a way to make a debut haan

    loved it......

    beautiful message conveyed

    gr8 neha


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