January 13, 2009

I Love These Rains




O God! Please listen to my prayer

Please don’t keep the sky so clear

And bring the shadows of the clouds

Let them pour and roar out aloud

 

I feel so lonely and so sad

I wish to cry and get so mad

But I don’t want them to know

About my misery, I don’t want to show

 

O thank you God, for listening to me

Thou poured from heavens and blessed me

These clouds I feel are just like me

Full with emotions but still don’t plea

They just burst out aloud

And let their pain get drowned

  

O, I have always loved these rains

For they help me hide my pains

Now, I can walk along the path without any fear

And they would not be able to notice my tears.



(PS:Crossposted at http://naveensinsights.blogspot.com/)



8 comments:

  1. That was really nice! I run into the bathroom everytime I want to cry and take nice long shower :P

    Just one thing..
    If you could change
    Now I can walk along the path without any fear

    to
    Now I can walk along the path without any of my fears

    Everything would rhyme..

    Just if! Doesnt take away anything from the poem if you dont :)

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  2. wonderful...
    in times of grief,
    how we wish the lords to pour..
    ans then it soothes the restless mind,
    and our hearts so sore...

    i am sorry for these stupid lines..:P
    but i liked the poetry and the way it is expressed.. :)

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  3. Lovely Naveen..!! :)

    "These clouds I feel are just like me
    Full with emotions but still don’t plea
    They just burst out aloud
    And let their pain get drowned"

    Loved these lines.. :) Nice comparison there..

    Cheers..!!
    Arjun

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  4. naveen... well written mate...

    even though lounge is not drenched by rain anymore, it is nice to see it gracing us sometime! :)

    i especially liked the third verse...

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  5. @rashi..thanx for the suggestion but according to me adding two more words make the line a bit lengthy and then the feel of rhyme doesnt come that much instead of that i could have made:
    "now i can go outside without any of my fears"
    but this time i wont change anything..will try to improve next time

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  6. @ pink orchid...lols..hehehaha.. this is what i like about the lounge..i get such wonderful comments and that too in such manner...makes me write more and mote

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  7. Thanx arjun and Leo for your lovely comments..it surely motivates me

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  8. nice yaar! looking forward to more of ur work naveen

    ReplyDelete

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