O God! Please listen to my prayer
Please don’t keep the sky so clear
And bring the shadows of the clouds
Let them pour and roar out aloud
I feel so lonely and so sad
I wish to cry and get so mad
But I don’t want them to know
About my misery, I don’t want to show
O thank you God, for listening to me
Thou poured from heavens and blessed me
These clouds I feel are just like me
Full with emotions but still don’t plea
They just burst out aloud
And let their pain get drowned
O, I have always loved these rains
For they help me hide my pains
Now, I can walk along the path without any fear
And they would not be able to notice my tears.
(PS:Crossposted at http://naveensinsights.blogspot.com/)
That was really nice! I run into the bathroom everytime I want to cry and take nice long shower :P
ReplyDeleteJust one thing..
If you could change
Now I can walk along the path without any fear
to
Now I can walk along the path without any of my fears
Everything would rhyme..
Just if! Doesnt take away anything from the poem if you dont :)
wonderful...
ReplyDeletein times of grief,
how we wish the lords to pour..
ans then it soothes the restless mind,
and our hearts so sore...
i am sorry for these stupid lines..:P
but i liked the poetry and the way it is expressed.. :)
Lovely Naveen..!! :)
ReplyDelete"These clouds I feel are just like me
Full with emotions but still don’t plea
They just burst out aloud
And let their pain get drowned"
Loved these lines.. :) Nice comparison there..
Cheers..!!
Arjun
naveen... well written mate...
ReplyDeleteeven though lounge is not drenched by rain anymore, it is nice to see it gracing us sometime! :)
i especially liked the third verse...
@rashi..thanx for the suggestion but according to me adding two more words make the line a bit lengthy and then the feel of rhyme doesnt come that much instead of that i could have made:
ReplyDelete"now i can go outside without any of my fears"
but this time i wont change anything..will try to improve next time
@ pink orchid...lols..hehehaha.. this is what i like about the lounge..i get such wonderful comments and that too in such manner...makes me write more and mote
ReplyDeleteThanx arjun and Leo for your lovely comments..it surely motivates me
ReplyDeletenice yaar! looking forward to more of ur work naveen
ReplyDelete