They told me it would tough. I said I was tough too.
You warned me it wont be easy. I replied you dont know me yet.
It's getting tough. I can feel the heat.
I can feel the emotions inside me swell.
I tell myself I can go on. But I dont want to. I have to.
There is so much at stake.I cant go back now.
I'm a different person than what I was.
I pretended to be strong. I pretended to be something I'm not.
People have done this before. I tell myself.
But its tough. Really tough.
I want it all.The whole deal.
This is just an amuse bouche.
This is what I signed up for, but this isnt what I want.
Kinda like not liking what you order at a restaurant.
Take it with a pinch of salt.
"Hell, this aint food.This is life..
This aint a joke. Weren't you forewarned?
Didn't you know it wasn't going to be normal?"
Give up.Give in.COWARD.
This aint me. I have to make this work.
This is a slight modification of my poetry on my blog.
Well the reason I'm posting this here is that I'm really frustrated and I seriously have no other outlet than this. Last night, I suddenly just broke up. I didn't want to continue. I just didn't want to graduate. And thats just not me. I have always slightly on ambitious, competetive side and just to give up like this was so shocking.
Everytime, my exams come near I become this crazy emotional mess. With my moods and emotions swinging like a yo-yo. From anger to crying bouts to concern and of course insecure, I have felt it yesterday. And so to speak funny part is that I'm not even done with 10% of my exams, the most importants are still left. Yday was the first day, I hate psychology. I so frustrated. The most important thing is I dont know from here, where? My future looks so unsure. Whatever interests me seems to have more frustration involved (chances of getting results after hardwork are bleak in such areas -SUPPOSEDLY) and those which are "lucrative" I find them boring. What to do?
I just need direction. For now, it seems to be clear these exams.. I just needed to vent things out. And you guys have come real close to me. I get msgs/smses and "pings" everyday asking how my exams were.. So I really really LOVE you guys! :)