26 going on 13- III

Akash was here. Akash was in Mumbai. Akash was in the same building as me. Akash and I were friends since school. We kind of grew up together. Nani still tells me of the times we used to hit each other with water bottles on the way to our kindergarten class. That was us. We were "linked" together all throughout school and we had no issues. It wasn't like we were oblivious to the fact that both of us liked each other but we just didn't know what next. My diary was filled with our pictures, descriptions of what we did or dreams of how life would be. My days- past or imaginations of the future were incomplete without him.

Till one day, I returned home after a long vacation after my HSC (12th) exams. As soon as I dropped my bags down, I ran next door to speak to him. There was so much I wanted to tell him. More than anything I wanted to tell him how much I had missed him.

What I saw was not what I had expected - a lock on the door. He must have gone for a holiday too, I thought to myself and went by everyday to his house in hopes that he would return. He didn't. What did come by though was a letter on my birthday. I still had it in the pages of my diary. I had read so many times that I still knew each word written in it.

" Dear Pix,

Many many Happy Returns of the Day! I know you must be terribly angry. But it was difficult for me too. I had to leave. Dad got a transfer. I couldn't wait. I didn't want to. Saying goodbye to you would have been difficult. I'm sorry I ran away. But I had to. Hope you reply. I hope you understand. I miss you. I love you.

Yours,

A. "

I never replied. This time I ran away. I had longed stopped keeping a diary but today I wanted to write and tell someone everything. I wanted to 16 when it was all ok. I wanted him to look at me the way he used. Longingly. Lovingly. I wanted him to steal glances at me when he thought I wasn't looking. I wanted him to be mine. I wanted him to be the teenager I was in love with. I wanted to see him, talk to him. No, what would I say? I rather not. What should I do?