December 19, 2008

Of dreams, hope, and the rain

Muthu looked up at the sky with despair—it was a clear blue canvas with no trace of clouds, and that too, in July, when rain-laden clouds usually crowd the sky. He turned his gaze to the ragged plastic bag in his hand—filled with fifty-odd small zip-locked plastic pouches. Finally, he peeked into his shirt pocket—he had nothing!!

The picture of Radha, his little sister—the apple of his eye—flashed through his mind. With whatever little he earned by selling stuff in the local trains, he treated her like a princess. But now, she would be heartbroken because her “Anna” wouldn’t be able to buy her the doll that he had promised.

Muthu sat down on a bench on the platform and remembered the day when Ustaad had called all of them for the “product launch.” He’d held up small zip-locked plastic pouches: “Arey, abhi naya China ka maal aaya hai… mobile cover. Abhi yeh bechneka.” His idea was met with strong opposition by all but one—Muthu. He could make a lot of money on these pouches—the rainy season was approaching and cell-phones were ubiquitous. And he could buy Radha the doll she’d always wanted!!

Muthu was super-excited!! He had even come up with some brilliant lines to impress and entice the buyers: “Nokia, Sony, ya Motolora, baarish mein sabka raksha karo… first-class water-poof mobile cover… China maal, sirf das rupiya.” He had some trouble with pronunciation, but that was more than compensated for by his enthusiasm!!!

And now, the rain-Gods were betraying him. The skies had been clear for days, and he had not sold a single unit. Ustaad was behind his life for money; but more importantly, the doll that Radha had dreamt of for so long would remain a distant dream. How could he fail his little princess like that?

He looked up at the sky again. It had turned dark gray!! As he held out his palm, surprised, the first few drops of rain fell onto it and lit up his face with the most enchanting smile ever. God was listening!! He looked at the local train approaching the platform, stood up, adjusted his slightly loose pants, and ran. As he got in, his heart was brimming with enthusiasm and hope; with a twinkle in his eye and a dimple on his cheek, he smiled and shouted, “Nokia, Sony, ya Motolora…”

Word count: 400

Presenting my maiden effort on this blog! Comments, criticism, suggestions are most welcome. And I am glad to be a part of this illustrious group of writers!! Thanks everyone and God bless!


  1. nice one :) loooking forward to read more from ur end...

  2. Loved the optimistic ending.


    Nicely written.

    Good luck!

  3. nice nice... :)

    well narrated.... Post more of such stories..!!


  4. it was lovely for a first attempt..

    hope to see more.. :)

  5. wow.. a realy refreshing story... nicely thought of and penned well... d emotions hve been well portrayed... all in all, an enjoyable read.. keep it up!!

  6. Brilliant! I could imagine the entire thing happening in my head.. I read it before going to college and decided to comment once I got back...All through my journey to college by train, I saw kids and was smiling thinking about this post

    I loved your style of writing! As others before me have said, waiting for more

  7. Simply Great!
    words arent enough.. its beautiful.. keep writting!

  8. To everyone @ writer's lounge,

    Thanks so much for your appreciation and kindness. To say the least, I am overhwhelmed! I hope I can come up with a lot more good work.

    And keep writing! There's such an immensely talented lot here...

  9. pretty neat stuff, this one has a personal touch in my life too...i often imagine the life of those poor kids selling their wares in local trains. Whenever possible i try not to disappoint them and end up buying stuff that i dont need...a time table , cotton buds....

  10. @ ashwin.. I got this pic on google images... i had to actually choose from over a hundred pics... each pic had an equally beautiful child.. With great difficulty, I chose this one... hope it goes with the theme!!


Comments are sexy.