December 2, 2008

Dumb acts continue..!!

Me- “ Hey dude, slow down the bike. We don’t wanna reach there before the bride and the bridegroom. Also the roads are wet.”

Vinod- “ This is the slowest I can go.”

Me- “ Okay. The rain is getting heavier. Stop by the side. I don’t want to go with wet clothes to a wedding reception.”

Vinod- “ No stopping. This is fun.”

A speeding car ran through a pothole and it splashed water on my right from my face to my waist. My favourite light blue shirt now had brown unpleasant circles on them.

Me- “ Okay, now it’s fun. Asshole.”

Vinod- “ You are acting like an old man since evening.”

Me- “ Have you ever heard old people’s abuses?”

Vinod – “ Oh! Enough. Shut up. I was never interested to go to this reception in the first place. It was you who told Imran- Oh yeah definitely I’ll be there and all that crap. I had told him I’ll be out of town so cant attend the reception.”

Me- “ Imran is our close friend and it’s his own brother’s wedding. When someone’s invited us, it is only kind that we attend, at least as a respect for our relationship.”

Vinod- “ Look, the old man’s talking.”

Me- “ After the talking, next comes the bashing and the abusing. So, screw it all up and ride.”

Vinod- “ He dint even send us the invitation card, man. He just called us over phone. And you talk about respect and shit.”

Me- “ Haha. Now who’s the old man?”

Anyway, we reached the hotel with me all wet and dirty. He wore a jacket and so was fine. I demanded him the jacket and wore it to cover my dirty shirt. But in a way I felt the dirty shirt was better than his silly red jacket with “No Fear” written over it. I checked out my watch to know that it was 7pm and I recollected that Imran told us to be there by 7. So, we were bang on time. Vinod entered the main entrance without waiting for me and I had to follow him. He walked as if he knew the hotel left and right. He spotted the party hall entrance and waited for me there. We both entered and a well dressed old man said- “ Please come in.” He showed us to the line of chairs and said- “ Please be seated. The bride and the bridegroom are stuck in traffic. They will be here soon.” The hall was deserted except for a few countable number of people and four photographers. For a small hall, four was too much. Maybe they wanted to see all angles of their guests.

Two of them came towards us as if they were launching an attacking on us but just took photographs of us from almost all angles. One of them came so close to me that I wanted to kick him there. I mean, I was wearing this silly jacket on a wedding reception and this guy takes photographs of me as if I’m the Brand Ambassador of ‘No-Fear’.

Vinod- “ See, he told us 7pm and the damn bride and bridegroom aren’t here yet. That stupid Imran.” He looked irritated and continued- “Hey this idiotic photographer is trying to kiss me or what. Tell him to back off.”

Me- “ Macha, enjoy.”

We passed one hour and the people who matter dint arrive yet. Our buttocks were getting sour. Meanwhile, those photographers dint know how to pass time so they took a few more photos of me and him. For a change I gave different poses and a smile. It was getting too boring. We drank three glasses of the ‘Welcome Drink’of water melon juice.

Vinod- “ Damn. I’m leaving. Call that idiotic Imran and tell him we are leaving.”

Me- “ He isn’t using his phone since last week.”

Vinod- “ Okay. Come on. Get up, lets leave.” He digged through his pocket and said-“ Wait, my phone’s ringing. Take, It’s Imran.” He passed the phone to me.

Imran- “ Where are you guys man?”

Me- “ Where are you? We are waiting in the party hall since one hour and now our buttocks are paining.”

Imran- “ Shut up. Stop kidding. I’m waiting here in the hall for you. You are not here.”

Me- “ Okay now stop joking and tell me.”

Imran- “ Hey idiot I’m waiting in the party hall. Hey wait, which party hall are you in? Are you in the ‘ground-floor’ one?”

Me- “ Yes. Of course.”

Imran- “ Come to the third floor you silly crack cases. What kind of dumb people you both are man? That’s a different function there.”

Me- “ Who the hell knew there are two party halls here. Okay wait, we’ll be there.”

We went to the correct hall, wished the couple, gave them a present and spoke to Imran.

Imran- “I just can’t believe you guys, man? Really stupid.”

Vinod- “ Yes. That is why we came here.”

Imran dint get that and I was happy for that. Next was the most important programme of the evening- eating. We ate, and ate like pigs. After two rounds of ice cream, as we were about to leave, Imran commented on the jacket- “ No Fear? It should be – No Senses.”

Vinod- “ Yes. That is why we came here.”

Imran again dint get it and I was happy once again.


  1. hehe..funny all ur!
    "Next was the most important programme of the evening- eating." lol..!
    last line too...hehe..
    keep postin..

  2. hehe nice one..

    reminds me of the DCH dialogue that aamir n saif gives.. cake kane ke liye hum kahin bhi pahunch jaathe hain.. lol..


Comments are sexy.