Today I feel so low,
I don't know why its happening now!!
It was my decision only to forget you forever,
And that, we'll always be friends forever...
Then why today my eyes are filled with tears???
Why learning to live without you gives me fear??
Everything was going normal, as I thought..
So, why my heart wanna say that I still love him a lot??
Of course I was happy with whatever was happening till date!!
Then, why suddenly I wanna curse my fate??
There was no memory in my heart that could last..
But from where suddenly came all the moments from my past??
Why can't I control my emotions today??
Why is there solitude and I feel like a loner today??
Oh!! I am confused and perturbed...
It was my decision only... Then, why is it paining so much to do that today??
This is not written by me but by one of my closest friends..Kajal...Please comment to encourage her
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Your friend Shruti, writes as good as you do...
ReplyDeleteInform Kajal, we demand a blog from her.Why are we being barred from experiencing her, such emotionally drenched poetry.
________
Kudos To both of youu
kajal...good one! hey shruti...give her a pat on the back from my side. Time and more of such poems will make her more mature in her writings. I can judge from the rhyming words like low/now...tears/fear...thought/lot...date/fate..that she has just started scribbling her emotions. Tell her to do more regularly and she would weave wonders.......
ReplyDeleteAnother comment...more encouragement...he he...kajal..as tushar rightly pointed out...start off a blog yaar...u are depriving us of some good read. Plz do. And the thing i like most about the piece is the simplicity! No tough words hard enough to crack..plain...simple..straightforward! bingo!
ReplyDeletehmm yeah even i feel so
ReplyDeletecreate a blog wh+ere+ u can write more good poems like this
hmm yeah and u can join this group blog as well
in the begining i wondered if its by you sweet, then i say maybe an old one..
ReplyDeletethe shift from second to third person in the middle was a little jarring (you to him) the poem is fine, a little editing and it can rock :)
yes sometimes emotions hit us hard in the pit and we remain there bottomless. hurt. pained. wondering!
well done for the novice, yes, i will second Tushar, we demand a blog from you :)
in the begining i wondered if its by you sweet, then i say maybe an old one..
ReplyDeletethe shift from second to third person in the middle was a little jarring (you to him) the poem is fine, a little editing and it can rock :)
yes sometimes emotions hit us hard in the pit and we remain there bottomless. hurt. pained. wondering!
well done for the novice, yes, i will second Tushar, we demand a blog from you :)
@ Tsshar
ReplyDeleteThanks buddy..means a lot to me and more to her..i'll convey your suggestion for the blog to her..
@ Sandeep
I will give her a pat on her back..waise I already have given it..and yeah..she's new to poetry...but i know if she continues..she'll write amazingly well..
@ Ste
I'll convince her to write a blog..dont worry..and then maybe someday she can be awarded as the member of the month??
;-)
@ Di
When I read the poem..I didn't look for poetic flaws..cz at that time..it was the least thing I would do...
But i'll convey your suggestions to her..
Thanks all for reading and appreciating her...
hmm thats really good
ReplyDelete