May 14, 2011

glance

In one fleeting glance at you, myriad feelings erupt in my heart like a hot, fuming, destructive and uncontrollable volcano. A million questions and stories re-surface my thoughts and blur my vision. Not only do I relive the memories that aids in putting all the questionable and dubious pieces of my emotional puzzle in place, but I also see the complete picture encrypted by those puzzle pieces revealing the current state of my irrational heart. This is when I look away from you, trying hard not to contemplate what I saw. Also, I look away because if I fear you might read my situation if I locked eyes with you for a few more seconds.
Yeah, it is pretty darn hard to look away when you are all I think about, dream about and write about. To subside those emotions and let go of those questions is as hard as resisting the urge to order a double chocolate chip double whipped cream and double chocolate drizzle frappucino while standing in the queue of Starbucks line-up during Happy hour ( half-priced frappucinos). But I feel admitting my feelings might be a billion times harder. That`s why, I go with the easier alternative. Albeit the confrontational scenario that I have played a billion times in my head, I choose to keep quiet and enjoy the moment.
Despite the discomfort and the gush of uncertain feelings I experience in that one glance, I pine to experience it over and over again. And with you being totally oblivious of my state, continue to act the same which confirms the certainty of this bittersweet experience for me, once again.

2 comments:

  1. i had experienced exactly whatever that is mentioned and trust me i went really crazy and almost a maniac... couldn't take it anymore.. then slowly time changed everything. now its paradise for me.

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