May 22, 2009

THERE NEVER BEFORE..!!!


A sudden thunder woke me up and I could feel the cool breezes flowing outside. I switched on the light but there was no power. I was afraid of the darkness, adding to it were different sounds heard from outside. I managed to get up and move out from my room, but nothing was seen except the darkness.

I counted my steps, was a pass time when I was alone, and went to the candle stand that was standing near the staircase that leads to the main living room. I lit the candles and took one of it by hand and carried it to my parent’s room. The way was all dark with a small light, but still I found it different now. The paintings on the wall were different; the furniture is changed. It seems like everything changed with just a power cut.

I knocked my parent’s room but there was no answer. I thought they were still sleeping and so opened the door myself. I could not see the room properly as the candle light was not just enough. When I managed to see, I couldn’t believe my eyes. My parents were not there.
I was shocked and couldn’t think about what was happening. In that colossal building I was alone and moreover, I didn’t know where my parents were. I couldn’t stop the tears rolling down my eyes.

I went back to the living room with the same candle in my hand, but couldn’t think of any place where I could find my parents. While this was squeezing my brain, I observed that the objects in the living room are all scattered. The fear rose in me and I was unable to move. Suddenly the candle blew off.

I wanted to shout for help, but couldn’t do it because of the fear that blocked my throat. I wanted to call my father’s mobile and so got up from the sofa and started moving to the phone that’s there near the stair case. On my way, something struck my foot, I was taken aback.
It was a wet palm and when I shook it, the sound of the bangles tensed me. I couldn’t think whose it was but was having lots of doubts in my mind. I then again started counting my steps back and went in the way of the other candle stand and lit one candle. I hurriedly brought it to the place I was standing a moment before, I could see my mother’s sari with some red stains, and I then hurried the candle to the face. This made the candle get blew off once again.

I went back to the place I got it and lit it once again, this time I could feel my heart beating very hard, and my hands were shivering. I went back to the old place, to see who it was.

The light was just on to the face, by then I was almost confirmed that it was my mom but still wanted to assure. When the light was getting on to the face, my phone rang.

Then I realized this was all a dream.

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PS. I posted this at my blog already.....but found it goes with the theme today...so posted it again..!!! If the admins feel that i broke the rules, they are allowed to delete it...No issues..!!
Thank you..!!!

14 comments:

  1. good naration...
    For a few moments...i thought the story wud hav a sadistic end... :-)

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  2. gripping but some comments
    1. repeated use of 'I' makes it sound a little quirky. You should use alternatives to it.

    2. Grammar mistakes could be avoided.

    Apart from that great story and it keeps the reader glued.

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  3. End is good :) keep writing proses !!

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  4. @Arun Kumar

    thanks dear..!!!

    so how did u like the end???

    ReplyDelete
  5. @H

    thanks friends...your comments will be taken care of...!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. that was a very involving write up sis!
    tc god bless...
    and yeah! I visited ur blog and I have joined it too :)

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  7. @Pulkit

    thanks bro...!!!

    yeah i found you in my Land of Dreams...!!!thanks for coming...hope you liked it..!!

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  8. Hey Yamini,

    That was kewl.. Yes like Arun said, I thought the ending would be bad.. But, all's well that ends well ;)

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  9. Good one Yamini..!! Captivating...!!

    As 'h' said, a little better narration wld take it a step further... :)

    Cheers..!!
    Arjun

    ReplyDelete
  10. @Arjun

    thanks dear....will take care of it the next time..!!

    ReplyDelete

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