March 1, 2009

The Legend of Sandeep Malan: Back with a Bang 2

read part 1,click

Sandeep Malan was a charmer, a complete ladies man! He loved ALL ladies of all shapes, sizes, and species! And all ladies loved him back as well! Lady Luck was no exception. She had smiled on him umpteen times before. What else could explain his miraculous escape from right under the nose of the dangerous Supari Bhai? This time around, lady luck decided to not just smile, but to embrace him and shower her love all over him.

Just as Sandeep Malan was painting the ad for Sandeep Sir’s acting school, Avantika, the journalist who had covered his “underwear expeditions” all over Marine Drive happened to pass by. How could she, a lady, forget the charming face of Sandeep Malan. “Well,” she thought to herself, “that’s news!” Anyway, her channel didn’t have much news to show these days. That’s why they were showing live coverage of a boy trapped in a well in some Haryana village and of a cow giving birth to twin calves in a field in Andhra Pradesh. She nudged her partner to switch on the camera and shoot the story. She then called her office and told them that she was sending this tape. She thought it would be an exclusive piece of news. Alas, she was wrong! Her cameraman, who had been bribed by another foreign news channel, sent them the tape. In the field of news, such things spread faster than a wildfire. Soon, every channel had a copy of the story.

Back home in Trichur, Sandeep was dreaming all day about his acting school. But too much dreaming can also be tiring. So, to take a break, he switched on the television. Some useless news channel was on. “Damn you news channels, let me see what’s on FTV. But where’s the remote ?” he thought. “Appa must have been watching news and must have misplaced the remote,” he frowned. Then, on second thoughts, he decided to continue watching the news channel in hope of getting to watch Rakhi Sawant, who was always in the news. Appa would have been so proud to see his son watching a news channel and not FTV! The next moment, his eyes popped out! Here’s what was showing on the channel…

“Breaking news from our correspondent Avantika in Trichur… Sandeep Malan, the man who is known to the world because of his “underwear escapade” at Marine Drive in Mumbai, is now planning to come up with an acting school. The ads are already out and admissions are open. We are trying to establish contact with Mr. Malan to know more about this venture. Stay tuned for latest updates.”

Sandeep could not believe his eyes! “Sandhika,” he shouted at the top of his voice, full of excitement and nervousness. Sandeep’s voice sounded as though he was having a heart attack. Sandhika came out running, only to find Malan sitting comfortably in front of the TV. “Kutty, remote evade?” he asked excitedly. Sandhika lifted the cushion on the sofa, found the remote there, handed it over to Sandeep and went back to her homework in her room. Sandeep switched the channel, but not to FTV (although he wanted to), but to another news channel.

“We have with us here on the line Dr. Douglas, the famous psychiatrist who has helped to rehabilitate the likes of Britney Spears. Dr. Douglas, what do you have to say about Mr. Malan?”

“Well, Daniel, I am in awe of this man. After all the times he’s humiliated himself and with the kind of reputation he has built up, he has amazing courage to come up with such an idea, despite his mental inabilities (all over the world, he had been labeled as suffering from paranoid schizophrenia). I am sure this IDEA CAN CHANGE his LIFE!He is a genius. Despite his acts, he is immensely talented and very intelligent. We all must laud his efforts. Here is a man who wants to open up to the world and make a mark, despite his handicap. I am sure his acting school will be a big hit in Mumbai.”

“Well, sure Dr. Douglas. Thank you for talking to us. So, ladies and gentlemen, that was Dr. Douglas with his views on the phenomenon called Sandeep Malan. We will be right back on the other side of the commercial break. Stay with us!”

Sandeep changed over to another news channel. Oh, was he all over the place or what? .
“In this age of unfair biased talent hunts that make judges fight on TV for garnering TRPs, Mr. Malan has come up with his acting school in order to create a platform for nurturing and appreciating real talent. Our correspondent in Trichur, where Mr. Malan is currently vacationing, is on the line. Hello, Kishor…

“Yes, Divya, Mr. Malan’s ads are driving people crazy. There is going to be a mad rush for admissions. There is already a Malan fever…”

“Kishor… if I may interrupt you, what is Sandeep Malan’s reaction to this? What about his future plans?”

“We are trying to contact him. As soon as any contact is established, we will inform you.”

“Thank you very much Kishor. And now, it’s time to take a look at the headlines this hour.”
He then skimmed through few other regional news channel and this time it was Sun News with the news. "Sandeep Malan endra Kerala vai serndha 26 vaydu ilaiygyan acting school turaikirar ( Sandeep Malan ,a 26 yr old youngster from Kerala is all set to start his own acting school)," said the tamil news reader Shyamala Krishnan. Sandeep was jumping in his seat. Various news channels in India and abroad were publicizing his acting school idea. They had even created their own ad for his school.

“Express yourself. Sandeep Sir’s acting school will help you explore your hidden talents. With us, you can reach the Zenith of success. Join Sandeep Sir’s acting school today.”

Here’s what he saw on CNN, one of the world’s most-watched news channels.
“Martin, talk about innovation by Indians and Mr. Sandeep Malan comes to your mind. Talk about the never-say-die attitude and it’s Mr. Malan again. Just when you think this guy’s gone, he manages to spring up from nowhere and surprise you. Doesn’t the smile on my face tell you everything? My best wishes to him and his acting school… I am sure we’re going to have some Indians for company at the Academy awards next year. And Mr. Malan is surely going to be one of them!”

Such support and publicity! And for free?? What more could he have asked for? He was beginning to enjoy basking in this newfound glory. But now that his school was famous, it would be better to re-locate to Mumbai, he thought. And to control the rush for admissions, he thought of having auditions. Yes, auditions in all major cities and some even abroad. These foreigners could do with a lesson or two in acting. Oh, he had to start packing his bags. Mumbai beckoned him! “Ah,” he thought to himself, “so Mumbai is missing me, eh?” This meant that he would be able to see Rakhi Sawant again. “Yaay!!” he jumped in glee. And he could patch things up with Richa as well.

He took out his goggles, did a small Rajini gimmick, and put them on. Then he stood in front of the mirror, raced his fingers through his hair, and thundered, “Sandeep Malan’s acting school… enna rascala, mind it!!!!”

To be continued ..


  1. i bow to your creativity !!! awesome series every time ..

  2. hey danks pratiba

    i am vary happy ...i feel like i em flying on d sky and dancing kathakali on the clouds

  3. i am singing songs too apart from dancing

    karuppana kaiyala enna piduchchan
    kaadal yen kaadal pupukkadama

    poing poing

  4. woho Malan's acting school.. can i enroll?? i could do with some of the rajini skills..

    :) ore dadave sonna noor dadave sonna maathiri.. :)

  5. WOW!! Sandeo never ceases to surprise. What a news, free publicity coverage on news channel, what more can one debate and discussions...Douglas was good and he said rightly saying that malan was a genius...a comical parody unknown to him...unknown is his very own ;)...

    Awesome creativity...hilarious as it gets... i'm lovin it...waitin for the next bang!!!!

  6. wowww... i m loving it!!
    both d write up n d video...rockingggg!!

    sandeep sir's acting!

    d commentaries.....all so hilarious!! lolll :D

    yeyy mr. malan..i'l join ur acting school...n i love dis song!! :D

  7. LMAO :D :D :D and just that everytime i come across the Legend :P

  8. yo man

    so ur up with an acting school ehh

    can i join it malan sir pls pls pls

  9. ha ha ha.. really u r creative idea's r really getting better n better by the day..

    too good.. cant wait for what u r goin to come up next..

    ps: do u still have place in the school.. can i join ??????

  10. @ Pink Orchid, Priyanka, Ani

    Sweeties... of course you can all join my acting school! Ayyo, I can yimagine myself dancing with you 3 beautiful girls in a boat in the backwaters of Kerala! Aha aha... soooper... kadhal yen kadhal...

    Everyone please make yae note:
    Admissions will olways remain open for ladies! More the ladies, more the fun... aha ahaha..

    @ the Solitary Writer

    Odition (audition) date, time, and venue will be yaennounced soon on WL!
    Knowledge of kathakali dancing is yae must!

    Good luck to all wannabe actors!

  11. mashee kollamello..

    hehe always open for gurls..hehe lol nannayyii verrattee

  12. @ Kings

    You should also enrol in my classes. No endusiaasm wonly! Simbly loughing (laughing) without reason! Mind it!

    @ Nan

    See, I am good at comedy olso. Ayyo, such yae sweet smile I tell you! In my subsequent yepisodes, I will make you yeemotional olso!
    Sniff Sniff...
    Yever thought of becoming my heroine? You should! See, yeveryone wonts to act with me.


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