February 26, 2009

The legend of Sandeep Malan: Back with a bang: 1

(Continued from where The legend of Sandeep Malan had been temporarily discontinued.)

Richa also came to know of Sandeep Malan’s plan to go to Amerigaa. She was heartbroken. She could not live without him. She dialed his number. He was still dancing with joy in his room when his phone rang “Yeh to bata, dekhta hai tu kahan.” “Phone adicha ringu, indha Sandeep adicha sangu,” (If the phone rings, it is a ringtone, if this Sandeep rings, it is the death knell) he roared like a lion in anger at being disturbed. He picked up his phone in typical Rajini style (which had become an intrinsic part of him by now). His face suddenly turned pale like that of a terrified mouse. “Ayyo… why is Richa calling me now?” He was afraid that she would emotionally blackmail him into abandoning his plans and staying back. He was hell bent upon going to Amerigaa and was sure that his vada pav plan would succeed. He rejected the call and switched off the phone. He went back to dancing to the Rajini song “Thii Thii, jagajothi jothi…”

Richa didn’t have any option. Sandeep Malan, true to his Casanova image, had rejected her call outright. Her friends had warned her of his character, but she didn’t listen. She listened to her heart instead. But now, enough was enough. The radio in her room was on and played a song “Kitne door door ho, un dono ke raaste, mil jaate hain jo bane, ek duje ke vaaste..” She and Sandeep Malan were meant to be. She then decided to go to Trichur to speak to him and dissuade him from going to Amerigaa.

Next morning, Sandeep Malan was snoring away in his room. It was 11 in the morning. When one is out of a job, sleep takes over and becomes the favorite way to pass time. Sandeep Malan also was in such a situation. However, suddenly, he felt someone trying to wake him up. “Anna… Anna… some girl has come to see you.” It was Sandhika. Sandeep was very angry at being rudely woken up from his beauty sleep. But when Sandhika said some girl had come, the Casanova within him felt elated. “I am becoming popular among Kerala girls also…” he thought to himself and started picturing himself with many beautiful girls dressed like apsaras dancing around him and himself, dressed as Krishna with a flute, standing on a lotus in the center of a pond. “Anna… come…” said Sandhika. Sandeep went into the living room and got the shock of his life… it was Richa. Without a thought, Sandeep rushed into the kitchen to check if his mother was around. “Amma has gone to buy chicken for your favorite stew,” Sandhika informed him. Sandeep Malan heaved a sigh of relief. Sandeep then took Richa to the garden nearby.

Poor Richa had been crying all the way. Her face was swollen like a red tomato. “Sandeep, please don’t go to Amerigaa. You can do your vada pav business here, in India also. Don’t leave me and go. I love you. I want to marry you,” she said. “Nee virumburavalai kattikiruthai vida unnai virumburavalai kattikitta, un vazhkkai santhoshama irrukkum” (Rather than marrying a person whom you love, marry a person who loves you; only then your life will be happy) Sandeep delivered a famous Rajini dialogue. Richa was puzzled. She didn’t understand a word. She was saying something so serious and Sandeep was muttering some funny words! How dare he make fun of her feelings like that? She got very angry. “Phatttttt,” she slapped him hard. Now Sandeep’s cheek also turned red like a tomato. “Listen Richa, I have many dreams. I want to make it big in Amerigaa. You want to marry me and hold me back. You are angry at me because I am going to Amerigaa. Athigama asaipadara am balaiyum, adhigama kopapadara pom balaiyum nalla vazhndhadha sarithiram illai. (A very ambitious man and a very angry girl cannot lead a happy life together)” Another Rajini dialogue. “Ayyo, what have I done!!!” Sandeep realized after these words had slipped out of his mouth. He couldn’t bear another slap, so he covered his cheeks with his hands. This was getting too much for Richa. She walked away in a huff. Sandeep stood there, flabbergasted.

Meanwhile, he heard some claps in the background. He was alarmed at seeing two college kids approaching him, applauding. “Super super saar…” they said. Sandeep didn’t understand a thing. “Super dialogues saar, just like Rajini saar…” they said. Then it dawned upon Sandeep. His chest swelled with pride. “En vazhi, thani vazhi…(my way is a different way…)” he muttered out another of Rajini’s famous dialogues. The two boys were floored by this. They were also die-hard Rajini fans like Sandeep. “Saar, you are brilliant. Will you teach us also? We also want to be like Rajini. He is God for us,” they said. Suddenly, the bulb inside Sandeep’s head lit up. He smiled. There was a sparkle in his eyes. He gave them his phone number and told them to call him the next day. Then he ran towards home as if there was a lizard in his pants!!

His mother was making his favorite stew in the kitchen. “Sandhika, ivade vaa, (Sandhika, come here)” he called out authoritatively. “Mone, naan nineku vendi ninde favorite stew indakku aana (See little boy, I am making your favorite stew for you)” his mother said lovingly. Sandhika came running. “Amma, Sandhu, naan Amerigaa ponillya… (Mother, Sandhu, I am not going to Amerigaa)” he announced. His mother and sister stood there, speechless. His mother thought he had gone mad because of the sorrow and shock of losing his job. She went back to making stew.

Sandeep walked into the living room followed by Sandhika. “Anna, what happened suddenly? Is it because of the girl?” Sandhika was curious. “Illa…” Sandeep replied, “I am going to start my own business here only.” “Vada pav aa? Anna, everyone likes iddiyappam, idli and dosai here. Who will buy your vada pav?” she said matter-of-factly. “Ayyo… think beyond iddiyappams, kutty. I have decided to start my own acting school here,” he announced. “But anna, what about your other plans?” she was at a loss for words. Now Sandeep was getting irritated with her because she was opposing him. In typical Rajini style, he said “Naan solrathaiyum seiven, sollathathiyum seiven. Nethu naan coolie. Inniku naan nadigan. Naalaikku... Silaper solranga naan eppadi varuven appadi varuven...naan eppadi varuvennu andavanukkum mattum thaan theriyum.” (I do what I say. I also do what I don’t say. Yesterday I was a coolie. Today I am an actor. Tomorrow, who knows? Some say I come like this, some say I come like that. How I will come only God knows.) And then, he bowed down expecting an applause. Sandhika was too shocked to react. He tried to shake her back to reality, but couldn’t. Giving up, he walked away to his room to plan out his new venture.

“Sandeep Sir’s acting school… what a brilliant idea!” he said to himself. He imagined himself teaching acting to starry-eyed youngsters. He would then become so popular that even Rajini himself would come down to his acting school to meet him—Sandeep, the great! He was so excited about his plan that he decided to advertise (after all he was an MBA in marketing)!! So, he went to the store room at the back of his house to look for paint. There was some in an old tin, left over from Pongal, when Roja and Lingu’s horns had been painted (Roja, Sandeep’s darling cow and Lingu, Sandeep’s snorting pet bull). Then, he ran on to the roads like he was running the Mumbai Marathon, found some empty space on a wall, and painted this.

Sandeep was in his own world of dreams. Little did he know what actually was in store for him.

Watch out for his play: Nawab Sultan. More to come!!!

Ayyo: Tamil interjection
Thii thii jagajothi jothi: Famous song from a Rajini movie
Anna: elder bro
Apsara: Indian fairy
Amma: Mother
Saar: Kerala way of saying Sir
Illa: no
Idiyappam, idli, and dosai: South Indian snack items
Kutty: Oh little one
Pongal: harvest festival


  1. hehe...wow!!
    rajni dialogues r too gud man!! great job ste n neha!! u r brilliant girl! ;)

    malan's amerigaaa plans cancelled?? ste ne to uspe itne sapne n plan banaye the! uska kya hua??

    anyway...dis pic is great..n acting school idea mast hai!! waitin for nawab....hehe...

  2. oye sandeeeeepu!!!
    Idiyappam, idli, and dosai: are South Indian food items and mostly for breakfast or light dinner but they are not sanck items or fast food like people think up in north, i dont want ppl to understand it as junk food or fast food.

    hope u get it :)

  3. Damn good, hilarious, mix of languages,finally the photo, what came first, the idea or the photo..Brilliantly narrated. A bit melo-dramatic too.

    one word... flabbergasted :)

  4. @ Priyanka

    Hi there, sweety. This is the charmer himself! You liked my story, eh? Aren't you happy that I am not going to Amerigaa? (Winks) You must come here for my play. Maybe I could teach you a few steps too... and maybe, you could also become the heroine of Nawab Sultan. We could do a film together. I have a great song in mind as well... "Karuppana kaiyala enna piduchchan... kaadhal yen kaadhal pukuddama..."(Winks again)

  5. @ Kings

    Ayyo da.. that was Sandhu kutty! Paavam, she simbly drew a parallel between Vada pav (Mumbai's snack) and idiyappams (yummy!! Amma... my mouth is already watering... slurp!). Forgive her da.

    People, if you have any questions on idiyappams, idli, and dosai, our very own snack expert 'Kings' will be glad to clear your doubts.

    Okay Kings? ;)

  6. @ Priyanka

    Malan called up and told us about the cancellation of his Amerigaa plans! So, unfortunately, Ste ke saare sapne wahin toot gaye! But I am sure Ste is happy that Malan is going to be here... with all of us! All of us are eagerly awaiting his play Nawab Sultan. You wnat to be a part of it too? ;)

    @ Kings

    Glad you liked the narration. The melodrama is bound to be there because that is a part of Sandeep's personality! We can't take it away, it's something God built into him.

    One word... honored! :)

  7. hey malu where wre u so long man... ....the lounge was dominated by a person called stepMAN.....who called himself to be a big daddy of all superheroes.....am glad that ur back to our lounge and nt going to ameriga......

    u have mastered rajni and i wonder in few months time rajni will be a big flop in tamil nadu coz of u ....we love u sandeep malan......this acting school idea sounds good....

    if u dont mind....wud i get an admission to ur acting school pls pls pls malan sir

    thanks for coming back to the writers lounge.. we all love u malan sir

  8. Malan cheta :D
    he he acting skool ? :P

  9. two heroes...one place...the lounge...when is the showdown.... [waiting with bated breath ;) ]...bound to be fun.. *Ste* lets see.. how malan handles stepMAN rajini ssshtyle... superru maa...gggggaa po..

    Whada a talent ..whad a demand for mallu sir.. acting school already in demand..with applications flowing... OMG!!!

    @neha, malan
    Never knew that was a co-write, way to go. Kudos to Ste for introducing the legend... what a legend...what a maan...

  10. malan,
    yes yes...happy!! ;)
    i will cum...teach me ur great style too...

    film...wid malan d greattt....ohhh... *faints....gets up...blushes..*
    n i loveeee d song tooo...Karuppana kaiyala enna piduchchan... kaadhal yen kaadhal pukuddama.......yeyyyyyyy :D

  11. hehe... sounds exciting..!!

    it was fun all the way..!! Acting classes?? nice idea.. hehe

    and "yen vazhi, tani vazhi" means - My way is an UNIQUE way..... not different way... hehe

    Waiting for the play now.. sounds exciting..!!


  12. i lam loving it! sandeep malan is getting to be my favorite.. with his rajini punchlines this dude is here to stay.. lol :P

  13. hehe saarreee..

    amerikgaa ponnilleee..

    hehe nicee.. loved the punch lines.. :)

  14. lol..... sandeep saar's acting classes... saar.. let me join... please...

    loved the rajni dialogues.. and the board... wow... great work guys!!!.. malan rocks!! keep it up!


Comments are sexy.