तू ना इतना प्यार कर,
की तेरा दिल भर जाए,
तू ना इतना इंतज़ार कर,
की राह भी थक जाए.
तू ना इतने आंसूं गिरा,
की आँखें हसना भूल जाए,
तू ना दिल में गम बसा,
की साँसे भीं रूक जाए।
तू ना ख़ुद पर नाराज़ हो
की ज़िन्दगी तुझसे खफा हो जाए,
तुझ पर ख़ुद को नाज़ हो,
ऐसे जी की तू मिसाल बन जाए.
----- English Version ( Not translation) ---
Tu na itna pyar kar,
ki tera dil bhar jaaye,
tu na itna intezaar kar,
ki raah bhi thak jaaye.
tu na itne aanson gira,
ki aankhen hasna bhool jaaye,
tu na dil me gam basaa,
ki saansein bhi rook jaaye.
tu na khud pe naraaz ho
ki zindagi tujhse khafaa ho jaaye,
tujh par khud ko naaz ho,
aise je ki tu ek misaal ban jaaye.
my second hindi write .. please tell me how i can improve ....
ReplyDeleteWow Prats, dat was so wonderful! Luvd da poem! And the picture just adds to the beauty! Magnifico`!
ReplyDeleteThanx 4 sharing it! :)
wow!
ReplyDeletenice one dear loved it..
Waoh nice prats .....
ReplyDeleteImprove ?? I don't think one can improve this one ......Don't think so.... There could have been a better title for this though I guess :P
wow, nice writing prats, at last some one posted the english version too, was easy to read out. Very meaningfull and could realte to every line, wish it was as easy to understand the intricacies of life ;)
ReplyDeleteHey Prats...
ReplyDeletei am loving your hindi poetry... :) few more attempts and you are gonna shine in hindi poetry too girlie... :)
thats very good pretty i liked it very much
ReplyDeleteit was perfect...nice one prats
ReplyDeletei too wanna wr8 now.."tu"mne mujhe inspire kar diya :P :D
ReplyDeletehmm...Inspiring..
ReplyDeleteTitle cud hve been given a second thought in context wid the poem but the lines are really meaningful..
Keep up the good wrk girl..
@Mav : thanks for showering so nice words on me!!even i liked the poem :)
ReplyDeletehey insi.. thanku :)
ReplyDelete@Anurag : you are being too nice... n yeah i should have thot of a better title :)
ReplyDelete@Kings : i myself have trouble reading hindi so i thought of putting the english one too.. neway i had originally wrote in english only...
ReplyDeleteand about understanding these things, life teaches you !!
Such a beautiful poem. let me say something:
ReplyDeletetu na itna muskuraya kar, ki muskan bhi tujse sharma jaye
@Pink : hey .. i will need a lot more practice to be as good as you in hindi :)
ReplyDeletethanks chirag .. coming from you, its a good feeling :)
ReplyDeleteVery Nice Concept, But technically a few preposition errors :)
ReplyDeleteTu na itna pyar kar,
ki tera dil (Hi) bhar jaaye,
tu na itna intezaar kar,
ki raah bhi thak jaaye.
(beautiful!)
tu na itne aanson gira, (Baha!!!)
ki aankhen hasna bhool jaaye, (jayen)
tu na dil me gam basaa,
ki saansein bhi ruk jaaye. (jayein)
amazing lines :)
tu na khud pe naraaz ho
ki zindagi tujhse khafaa ho jaaye,
tujh par khud ko naaz ho,
aise je ki tu ek misaal ban jaaye.
Incredible, which ever language, a poetess is a poetess, I believe Ansoo baha is better than Anso gira, But my languaue is not very perfect and as tan says, when you're writing so good who cares about these mistakes
We love you all prats :)
wah wah wah prats...loved it.....write more....... :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Aparna and Priyanka !! you make me write more such crap ;)
ReplyDelete@Gul .. nice reply ;)!! m waiting for your write :)
@charzz : i agree regarding the title now! thanks for the read :)
ReplyDelete@Jaky : :P
@Asbah : now this is what i really wanted .. thanks !! even i used aanso baha .. but dunno y changes it later .. n i think language adds to the beauty of thoughts.. so it shud be perfect .. thanks again.. i will hope to better in next write :)
ReplyDeleteloved this one to the core....
ReplyDeletelovely flow.. :)
Cheers..!!
Arjun
thanksie Arjun !!
ReplyDeletetujh par khud ko naaz ho,
ReplyDeleteaise je ki tu ek misaal ban jaaye.
thts all i got to say.. :) hehe lovely..as always :)
my pleasure Ani dear .. and why no post from you off late ?
ReplyDeletewell lets say ihave a writers block.. just dont know wht to write as of yet.. yehh i do keep scribbling on my blog though.. but then those r mostly random thoughts.. :)
ReplyDelete