December 16, 2008

Surrender.

Scorching sun surrenders to velvet-clouds.
Heavenly droplets kiss arid lands.
Yellow flaunt in green.



word count: 14 :P

13 comments:

  1. this can better be a haiku !! not a story :)

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  2. this can be made to a 10 word post

    dont think that the last sentence was needed

    the first 2 lines means eveything

    respite.....

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  3. after 400 words contest

    the word count r reducing :p

    nice

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  4. i second prats for the same point

    not a story though :)

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  5. if u permit asbah, i want to try re arranging it into haiku .. only if u agree :)

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  6. sure biya, haiku, i remember is a three lined poems/verse right?

    yeah, Definetely not a story, it is..

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  7. correctly guessed .. its a 3 lined verse.. thats y i thot of haiku wen i saw this :)

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  8. I agree with Stephen ...The last line was Avoidable .....

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  9. The last line is added to accentuate the sprouting of grass and yellow flowers, without which the concept of spring is incomplete !

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  10. No the last line is needed...The wait of Mother Earth is over. Her dry days are over.. the rains have quenched her thirst.. All is going to be ok now! Rains are here to get rid of the pain..to soothe it and to give new life!

    Pain is over..New life begins now!

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  11. the haiku isnt lovely ... but as per the rules, this will be the haiku :

    Sun surrenders as
    heavenly drops kiss the lands
    Yellow flaunt in green.

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  12. yeah true, new life begins now :)

    Biya, wow!

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  13. no need for wow :P !! i have just re arranged your words :)

    ReplyDelete

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